Are foreigners more accepted by FS families or not?

[Terran]

I have heard many different answers about it, and I just want to know what everyone else’s experience on the subject is. I am going to Kharkov next year to visit my aunt for the first time and she and my mother have decided that it’s time I get married.. So my aunt is trying to set me up with women she knows personally. So I’m just curious on how FS families are towards other cultures.

[Faux Pas]

Whats an "FS" family?

[Muzh]

Former Soyuz

[Muzh]

Terran, I would tell your aunt your only requirement is they have to be superhot and loving. Not much to ask I think.
 
My in-laws are from Xapkib and they would very welcome of any foreign culture.

[mendeleyev]

Great!

Most FSU families love travel and having a guest from far away is (in the words of an aunt) the same as traveling through their eyes.

Be open for lots of questions about life in places they've never been and as a form of genuine compliment, ask lots of questions about their lives as well. You may be trotted around to lots of different homes and places, FSU families can be very proud at times to show off their guests.

[Manny]

I have heard many different answers about it, and I just want to know what everyone else’s experience on the subject is. I am going to Kharkov next year to visit my aunt for the first time and she and my mother have decided that it’s time I get married.. So my aunt is trying to set me up with women she knows personally. So I’m just curious on how FS families are towards other cultures.

It would very much depend on the culture you mean in my experience. Are we talking of a Christian culture here?

[Muzh]

Great!

Most FSU families love travel and having a guest from far away is (in the words of an aunt) the same as traveling through their eyes.

Be open for lots of questions about life in places they've never been and as a form of genuine compliment, ask lots of questions about their lives as well. You may be trotted around to lots of different homes and places, FSU families can be very proud at times to show off their guests.

Amen to that.

[acctBill]

Never had a problem with the inlaws.  Like western families that have their regular family members and their black sheep.  When my wife, then g/f, first took me to a family function and introduced to her family some of them were hesitant to speak to me because they didn't speak English but when they were told that I speak Russian they relaxed. 

I got asked questions about life in the UK and North America.  Other questions like if we get married will my wife be allowed to visit Moscow?  Will future children be allowed to visit Russia?  Questions I thought were wild that have now turned out to be common like "How does one immigrate to the UK?"

 

[Kineo]

Most FSU families love travel and having a guest from far away is (in the words of an aunt) the same as traveling through their eyes.

Be open for lots of questions about life in places they've never been and as a form of genuine compliment, ask lots of questions about their lives as well. You may be trotted around to lots of different homes and places, FSU families can be very proud at times to show off their guests.

Though I have limited experience here. I think every family is a little different just like here. But for the most part my experience is pretty much like Mendeleyev has described.
 
-K
 

[Avis]

My Mum was against the idea at first, but her daughter's happiness means more to her than her ideas about perfect scenario. Mind you, my parents have never met a foreigner in their life before, nor they been abroad. Still when they met my fiance they were nice, friendly and hospitable, even though they cannot speak English at all and he's been too lazy to learn any Russian    They loved him obviously as he's awesome 
On the downside, some parents might just dislike anybody, I heard it happens and has nothing to do with nationality of a candidate

[Misha]

Some of my wife's family members were downright hostile. One uncle went on a rant as to how we were responsible for the downfall of the USSR and he could care less that I was Canadian referring to me as American. Then another uncle doubted my credentials and telling my MIL that she should not let her daughter marry a foreigner... As if she would have listened

[JohnDearGreen]

So I’m just curious on how FS families are towards other cultures.

She might give you the cold shoulder if you jilt one of her neighbors or co-workers.   Why don't you want to find your own ladies to meet?

[Terran]

Thanks everyone for the advice.....

My appologies to Faux Pas and everyone else for forgetting the U in FSU!

She might give you the cold shoulder if you jilt one of her neighbors or co-workers.   Why don't you want to find your own ladies to meet?

Well i really wasnt looking. However my mother recently went to Ukraine for a family Union and from what i was told the main topic of conversation was who is married and who isnt! So my mom and my aunt decided to find me a wife since i am not married. I am not against the idea, i have read many stories here on the forums and everyone here seems to be generally happy. From my own research into FSU women, they seem to know what they want more then girls from my country.

So i was just curious about how everyone else's experiences with meeting and how accepting their partner's family was. I do speak a little Russian. I am currently taking classes to give me a better understanding before i go.

Originally i was just going to Ukraine for a vacation and to meet family for the first time. I wasnt really expecting to go dating or land a wife.

It would very much depend on the culture you mean in my experience. Are we talking of a Christian culture here?

I am just talking about in general. Most of my family in Ukraine and Russian Orthodox.

[ecr844]

Every situation is different. There are a multitude of factors that contribute to this. Just a few of them are the attitudes, morals, opinions and ideas of the people you are meeting. The quality of person you are, how you present yourself, and how you come across when they meet you. Your attitudes and ability to be 'open minded' when confronted with new things and new situations. Another big factor will be how your lady introduces you to them, how much they know about you and how they perceive her intentions and 'attitude' towards you.

Again, there are far to many variables to be able to post a 'generalized' answer to your 'general' query.

[calmissile]

Terran,
Not sure where you are currently living or your age, but you have some time before your trip.
You might want to tell auntie to set you up with the proscpective ladies on email and then later on Skype.  Might be a little less frightening than walking into the interview room

There are a lot of stories on here about meeting the parents.  Some of them indicate quite a formal affair with strict rules that you have to follow about protocol, etc.  I was fortunate to not have had to deal with any of that.  The interface was very comfortable and casual.  It probably depends a lot on the individual family and perhaps the local or regional cultural norms.

Even when we went to visit other couples and friends, I never felt like I was being tested or analyzed (although I probably was).  Everyone was very hospitable.  Just don't forget to take your shoes off at the door   If you end up on Skype with a new lady friend you might even get to meet the parents before you go on your trip.  That can be a nice ice-breaker.

[Daveman]

Thanks everyone for the advice.....

My appologies to Faux Pas and everyone else for forgetting the U in FSU!
Well i really wasnt looking. However my mother recently went to Ukraine for a family Union and from what i was told the main topic of conversation was who is married and who isnt! So my mom and my aunt decided to find me a wife since i am not married. I am not against the idea, i have read many stories here on the forums and everyone here seems to be generally happy. From my own research into FSU women, they seem to know what they want more then girls from my country.

So i was just curious about how everyone else's experiences with meeting and how accepting their partner's family was. I do speak a little Russian. I am currently taking classes to give me a better understanding before i go.

Originally i was just going to Ukraine for a vacation and to meet family for the first time. I wasnt really expecting to go dating or land a wife.
I am just talking about in general. Most of my family in Ukraine and Russian Orthodox.

Heya Terran and welcome to the forum...

I had to laugh when I read this post above... yeah, that sounds just about right - the discussions of who is/isn't married and trying/wanting to play matchmaker.  That seems to be the realm of  the women all over the world.... 

[Terran]

Yes Daveman i was very shocked when i heard that 4 out of the 5 days my mother was in Ukraine all they talked about was me and why i wasnt married and why my mother didnt have grandchildren. I think this is why i dont go to family unions haha

Terran,
Not sure where you are currently living or your age, but you have some time before your trip.

I am only 27, central Canada! But from what my mom told me everyone at the reunion was married or about to be married and they were all under the age of 24. So i guess i can understand her feeling like the odd one out.

I guess there is no harm in taking a look and seeing what prospects they come up with.

And everyone is sort of right it is hard to give a 100% answer as to how each family will react. Everyone is different. But the responses i got in this thread did give me some of the missing information i was looking for.

Thank you to everyone!

[Faux Pas]

Terran


Thanks for the clarification! You sound very young (as compared to most men here on the forum). My answer to your initial question is, IME (and guessing) it is as varied as receptions from one family to another as it is in the US. Don't buy into the hype that that FSUW are more family oriented or FSU families are more family oriented than the west. It's pure rumor and hyperbole. Keep this one indistinguishable fact handy, "people are people everywhere". It doesn't have different variations from country to country  but rather, family to family, person to person. The FSU is no different.


With that said, man what a great opportunity you have! Even if you were not interested in the women, a chance to get acquainted to family once removed and on another continent is priceless. Some of your family if they are "average" will accept you and some might even reject you. No matter, it's their loss. Don't beat yourself up over their hang ups.


You mentioned you are interested in the ladies. Man, GO FOR IT! Contact auntie and get to know her real good. There is no service or website in the world that would provide you with what you Aunt could do for you and have your interest as her own. There is likely a big sense of pride for her that you would be interested and a big sense of pride for her to help you. 


No more delay, get busy living man! 

[OlgaH]

I am only 27, central Canada! But from what my mom told me everyone at the reunion was married or about to be married and they were all under the age of 24. So i guess i can understand her feeling like the odd one out.

Terran, with all my respect to your mother but being a mother myself I would like to tell don't try to get married and settle down with a wife and babies just because your family wants.  Do it when you are ready to do so. If you are ready don't try to hard because overdoing as bad as doing nothing. My son will turn just 20 but I always tell him not to marry at least until his 30s. Education, job, career should be first along with fun 

You have the unique opportunities that most of the guys in international dating don't have. You have all the cards in your hands. Visit your relatives, tour around Ukraine, visit historic sites, resorts and beaches, continue to study Russian as it will be tremendously helpful.

You also can have some fun on free dating websites like singles.ru.  Chatting with the girls will help you improve your Russian and will give you some ideas about girls and their thoughts and views on the other side of the world.

Do not mess with agencies!

I also agree with Faux Pas regarding your Aunt and relatives in Ukraine. And don't exclude the local dating as your future "happy married life" can be right next to your door 

Welcome to the forum.
 

[ML]

. My son will turn just 20 but I always tell him not to marry at least until his 30s. Education, job, career should be first along with fun 

Olga, how soon after marriage does the fun stop?   

[OlgaH]

Olga, how soon after marriage does the fun stop?   

ML, it should not stop it just has to take the upper level 

As I also tell my son you should  treat all your fun and entertainment with the same responsibility as your job and still feel enjoyment. I think a real happiness and fun in a married person's life is when the person doesn't have even a transient thought "if I would not be married I would... "

[ML]

As I also tell my son you should  treat all your fun and entertainment with the same responsibility as your job and still feel enjoyment.

I think a real happiness and fun in a married person's life is when the person doesn't have even a transient thought "if I would not be married I would... "

Good advice to your son.

Regarding your second sentence:  Relatively more easy for women than men.

Oh wait . . . I forgot about our 'holier than thou' men here.

[Terran]

Well i would like to thank everyone for their advice. Thanks Faux Pas for your advice. You do have a point i should see what opportunities are out there. I contacted my aunt today and told her i was interested and she told me should would email me with a few prospects she believes are keepers!

Thanks OlgaH for the advice. You are right, marriage isnt anything to rush into. I will see what my aunt has to offer and if there is something that might work then i will take advantage of the opportunity.

i guess i will keep everyone informed as to how things go and see what advice everyone has to offer.

[Kineo]

Well i would like to thank everyone for their advice. Thanks Faux Pas for your advice. You do have a point i should see what opportunities are out there. I contacted my aunt today and told her i was interested and she told me should would email me with a few prospects she believes are keepers!

Thanks OlgaH for the advice. You are right, marriage isnt anything to rush into. I will see what my aunt has to offer and if there is something that might work then i will take advantage of the opportunity.

i guess i will keep everyone informed as to how things go and see what advice everyone has to offer.

Good luck, have fun and make you own decisions. And by all means keep us posted!
 
-K
 

[AmericanBoy]

I'd say we're accepted. I've made connections with 2 girls since I've been in russia. Both times their families were very interested in me. One of the girls was young and I was her first real boyfriend. We met when she was 17 and I was 27 ( she was to turn 18 3 weeks later). She was from a different city and her dad let her stay with me a few days at a time and even invited me to stay with them a few days.

The other lady is my age and although I don't know much about her family, they like me. She's in a hospital far far from her city and she's having a hard time there and asking herself and family why she didnt just go to a local hospital, her sister said you went there to find you love.