Ukraine TR

[vingallo]

Mamba is a Russian based dating site. You need the right kind of phone to use if in US. I had a friend in Europe set it up as, you need a code they send to phone to activate account.
After reading much about MOB sites, I decided to try this, up side is many are on there like local dating site,so not looking for Western men, at least not on there. Down side is they are not looking for western men.
But thought was much less fished. It is difficult, but you tend to be direct with girl, so if she is interested, no middle man. It if free, you can add money to upgrade certain features, but is not needed, so your choice.

Day three with girl three. She picks me up at apartment, well actually she came up to apartment, decided she needed to clean up my place a bit before we go:)) So we  head out for breakfast and she takes my arm everywhere we go. This girl would attract attention anywhere, today she is wearing a black long sleeve v neck sweater, sexy and classy at same time, shows her curves yet fits very well, with short skirt and long black, high heel boots. very little make up ( she doesn't need it) so at breakfast, she helps me order and we sit and enjoy a few hours of talk and food. This girl seems very relaxed and never in a hurry. Takes things as they come, sorta of girl. I am a much the same. After this we walk a fair bit as it is sunny and about 10 outside.
she takes to this long walk along the river and it is beautiful here. Funny we run into a friend of hers, she does the introduces  me and this women hangs out with us for about an hour. All the time Tanya has my arm as we walk. Because of the late breakfast, we stopped at cafe for coffee and snack. Again more walking we end up at Independence square. it is now starting to get dark and we look for a place for supper. Mafia's ( only place I could say the name of) Nice place, I make jokes about Mafia's and she has easy laugh and again very relaxed.
Food was good, prices reasonable, this place was very busy. After this she asks, if we can go to local mall, she needs to get something for her mother ( I read plenty about this) So I am slightly alerted. We get to mall and walk around a bit, she finds the shop ( need fabrics, something her mother is making) Never even blinked got what she needed, paid for it and said this is all I need. So we look around a little it is now 9pm so we head for Taxi to take her home, then me. Next day I am to meet family and her Son.

The next day, she is coming later, as she tells me she has errands to do. So I have a late breakfast, go to flower shop and bakery. Flowers and cake for Momma:) and I already have small gift I brought for son if needed. So shortly after lunch she picks me up and off we go, have to say first time I have been nervous since I have been here. Even Tanya seems different today, I little more fidgety or something. We get to her apartment and Momma is at the door with Tanya's son, he is 9 so curious but happy. Momma is smiling but looking at me hard. Tanya has her hands full now, as Momma, Poppa, don't speak any English ( shes trying to translate) Son, knows a little. Cake and flowers go over well, seems I made a good choice ( I think)
Poppa is polite, but looking very serious. After the introductions, I give her son a small toy and he seems quite happy ( a little hand held game) he is now happy and trying to figure it out:))) We go to Kitchen to eat, I am sure there must be more people coming, there is enough food to feed half of Kiev. Meats, breads, cheese's, fruit. Opens a bottle of wine, eat, my God I didn't think I was going to be able to move. All of this took about 4 hours. Poppa starts asking questions, What my work is, do I have good place to live, my family, I thought I was in interview, Tanya is doing her best to translate, not sure how I did, but Tanya tells me I did ok!
Max Tanya's son is happy kid, seems easy to entertain and very well behaved. The apartment is in what it seems like a typical run down building. 2 bedrooms, very  large living room and small Kitchen. Very well organized and they have a lot of good stuff. most of the modern things you would see anywhere.
Momma, don't work Poppa does, he is some sort of manager for shipping company ( everyone seems to be managers) Tanya and I leave, we go to cafe and discuss all that has happened and she seems pleased and thinks her parents have approved of me, but said she will hear much more upon arriving home.
Tanya has to work for part of next day, so we plan supper and she will call me.

The next day Tanya calls and has decided, she wants to come to apartment to cook for me.
At about 5 she shows up with 3 big bags of food and heads to kitchen:)))
I open us some wine, ask if she wants help? Yes she says I can sit over there, keep her company and stay out of the way. 2 hours later we have some sort of pork dish, veggies, potatoes, fruit, cheese, bread and some desert she had made at home the night before. well I can't move again, every time my plate is empty she puts more on it. After supper, we sit drink wine and listen to music, she is closer to me tonight than she has every been:))))))

The next day she is off again and we are going to see her sister and family, we stop and pick up Max., He  is a happy kid and seems to be like his mother just goes along, not big production about anything.
We get to her Brothers, he speaks a little English, his wife ( ouch) gonna have to keep my eyes on Tanya, shes quite hot. they have an 11 year old boy and 8 year old girls, so kids are off and playing.
Again dinner is enough to feed a 100 people, everyone says these people are poor, but they sure know how to eat good:))) The afternoon there is good and mostly uneventful, questions again but little more relaxed.
I don't understand any Russian, so much of what is said, I don't understand anyway
After this, we head off back to Tanya's apartment, folks are there and seem much happier to see me this time.

Te last couple of days to follow......

[ML]

. . . everyone says these people are poor, but they sure know how to eat good:)))

The thing is . . . the amount of food on the table when a guest is present is NOT a good indicator of how poor (or wealthy) these families are.

There is a tradition that much, much more food will be served when guests are present than otherwise would be the case.

In some situations, a family may even cut back their spending on daily food for some period of time  in order to have extra food  available when guests are present.

Not saying that this particular family had to cut back in order to have extra when you arrived, but it has and does happen.

[vingallo]

Of course I am not sure. but based on what I see, I would guess they live good.
Tanya seems to have a bit of money and they stuff in the apartment is quite nice and mostly modern.
I don't think they have big money, but it looks as they live well.

[Daveman]

Cool narrative!




And to this...

... well I can't move again, every time my plate is empty she puts more on it.

Unless you *really* enjoy being stuffed out the ears on a daily basis, the trick is to leave something on your plate. Forget the polite "clean your plate" manners of the west because as soon as you clean it you are obviously still hungry (no matter what you say.. you're a man so you "must eat") and more will 'magically' plop right on it. 


That's a truly vicious circle of cultural difference..  we think anyway..  a user here named Diplomacy came up with this theory (notice his photo on the milk carton over there) and by golly it certainly seems to work a miracle -- of persuading even Mama (who will, with only the best intentions, completely fork you up) to cease and desist the sustenance assault on us "Men, who must eat".


Looking forward to the next segment..

[XMan]

So true, Daveman.

Same for alcohol.  My mistake was draining my glass.  I sipped tiny amounts afterward or I would have been unconscious. 

My fiance (still strange to type that) said to me recently that she worries that I do not eat enough.  I could "gain several kilos and no one would even notice because of my height."  I had to explain my eating and exercises habits are what they are not due to concern about weight, which fortunately I have never had to think about, but due to the fact I wish to eat in a healthy way (fruits, grains, vegetables, fish).  Then she says, "whenever we were dining out it never seemed like you ordered enough food.  I had this haunting feeling you were hungry, and I always wanted to share my food with you."  Funny.

[vingallo]

Sorry, I am late, but lots going on. this trip report for me has gotten a little derailed.
In short my time with girl 3 was exceptional.
I get home, I buy new computer and install skype, we skype every chance we get.
Phone calls, us making plans to come back in late Feb. for few weeks.
All is going very well.
About two weeks ago, things start getting funny. she misses a few skype calls.
does not answer phone, when i call to see why or if all is ok.
She says working, could not answer phone ( never a problem before)
Starts disappearing for few days at a time. only excuse is busy.
this is after few months of skype and phone calls.
not sure what is up but finally, I had enough and out right asked last night.
She admits, she met local man and is not sure what she should do!!!
I answered her question for her. I am no longer interested.
have a good life.

So now, I have to admit, after all of this and some of the things that happened on this first trip.
not sure this is for me. If you can have the talks we have and she can just walk away from that.
then whats the point. so not sure what is next, but a break is in order for sure.

My original reason for this post was a warning for others about girl # 1

[JR]

Sorry, I am late, but lots going on. this trip report for me has gotten a little derailed.
In short my time with girl 3 was exceptional.
I get home, I buy new computer and install skype, we skype every chance we get.
Phone calls, us making plans to come back in late Feb. for few weeks.
All is going very well.
About two weeks ago, things start getting funny. she misses a few skype calls.
does not answer phone, when i call to see why or if all is ok.
She says working, could not answer phone ( never a problem before)
Starts disappearing for few days at a time. only excuse is busy.
this is after few months of skype and phone calls.
not sure what is up but finally, I had enough and out right asked last night.
She admits, she met local man and is not sure what she should do!!!
I answered her question for her. I am no longer interested.
have a good life.

So now, I have to admit, after all of this and some of the things that happened on this first trip.
not sure this is for me. If you can have the talks we have and she can just walk away from that.
then whats the point. so not sure what is next, but a break is in order for sure.

Change of routine is always a sign of 'something' going on... She'll be back when the local turns out to be a turd. Try not to be too hard on her. Did you guys make the "exclusivity" agreement at any point in time? I don't mean inferred, I mean clear and explicit.
Remember that "those" talks are the norm for women, so she may not place the emphasis upon them that you do.
Anyway, all the best with whatever you decide to do.

[vingallo]

Yes, we did! Not to be to personal, we had sex and spent much time last few days together.
Have skyped every day since, my return home. Serious talks of future and planning my next trip.
So,,, I think she decided, local man is there now, i am not. I am not interested in later with anyone who would do this.

[ML]

Exclusive is one level, but engagement takes it a bit farther.

Until engagement, I don't think we should really expect that these gals are going to be content with only email and skype contact for companionship. Life is too short and relationships are too unpredictable.

[vingallo]

I agree, and i will be returning the ring on Monday:)
The Christmas gifts I sent,, she can enjoy with her new man.
I mean really, I spent best part of 10 days there, was going back for
3 weeks after, less than 5 months of our first meeting.
Talked daily. Short of quitting my job and moving there, not much else I could do.
We spoke of serious relationship, and the future together.
We made commitment, to be exclusive!
She decided to do otherwise.
If you are saying this is ok, or normal.
hen it really is not for me. I understand going and no connection.
I understand learning about something you don't like and decide to end it.
She as best I can see, met someone else while talking to me.
If this girl were here, we would call it cheating!
In my mind it is, we went exclusive, I planned proposal and we talked enough, she had good idea of this.
I guess not my thing. better to stay where I am, search where I am!

[Gylden]

I agree, and i will be returning the ring on Monday:)
The Christmas gifts I sent,, she can enjoy with her new man.
I mean really, I spent best part of 10 days there, was going back for
3 weeks after, less than 5 months of our first meeting.
Talked daily. Short of quitting my job and moving there, not much else I could do.
We spoke of serious relationship, and the future together.
We made commitment, to be exclusive!
She decided to do otherwise.
If you are saying this is ok, or normal.
hen it really is not for me. I understand going and no connection.
I understand learning about something you don't like and decide to end it.
She as best I can see, met someone else while talking to me.
If this girl were here, we would call it cheating!
In my mind it is, we went exclusive, I planned proposal and we talked enough, she had good idea of this.
I guess not my thing. better to stay where I am, search where I am!

Thank your lucky stars that you found this out now rather than later.
This kind of thing just highlights the need for more face time, taking more time and no one week wonders.
 

[LAman]

Sorry vingallo things ended up as they did. Who knows what really happened here, whether this girl found another guy....parents put pressure....or girl had change of heart.....it just shows the fragility of long distance relationships. The journey can have many bumps in the road and can be very trying for those who are not persistent. We all learn everyday from ours and others experiences.
If this was a PPL, then we can blame the site or the agency....oh, it was a freebie.....can we blame mamba????
Maybe one day we can lay blame on the girl..or the guy......or just that things did not work out.....you know, we do have a choice what we do.......don't we?

[Patagonie]

I agree, and i will be returning the ring on Monday:)
The Christmas gifts I sent,, she can enjoy with her new man.
I mean really, I spent best part of 10 days there, was going back for
3 weeks after, less than 5 months of our first meeting.
Talked daily. Short of quitting my job and moving there, not much else I could do.
We spoke of serious relationship, and the future together.
We made commitment, to be exclusive!
She decided to do otherwise.
If you are saying this is ok, or normal.
hen it really is not for me. I understand going and no connection.
I understand learning about something you don't like and decide to end it.
She as best I can see, met someone else while talking to me.
If this girl were here, we would call it cheating!
In my mind it is, we went exclusive, I planned proposal and we talked enough, she had good idea of this.
I guess not my thing. better to stay where I am, search where I am!

.

You are just under deception which is quite normal. Dating in Ukraine is like dating at home. So consider that sometimes the first one is not the good one. I think you over react and this girl is not  lost, she has interest in you. Perhaps she is very sexual, so she needs to consume, which can be a problem for a long term relationship i agree. Don't put too much proud in your communication. Better to say : i feel very upset, sad.