Is "trading up" really such a bad thing?

[BC]

Would you recommend that the men deploy detectives in Russia to check out their prospectives? Perhaps using undercover Russian women detectives to try and "befriend" these women and their friends, associates and family?     I bet there is a great opportunity for a similar business here in the US. Get some Russian women here in the US to organize into a business that investigates the motives and sincerity of AM's fiancees and their Russian wives. In short Donna, if I ever get around to finding another Russian women to marry would you check her out for me? And could she be Ukrainian if it happens that way? 

Maxx,

Maybe the greater the shortcut, more extreme measures to substantiate are justified.

IIRC you overlooked a host of 'red flags'.

Did you take shortcuts along the way that might have justified the measures you describe?

Is an ounce of prevention worth a pound of cure, and if so, would that ounce be prudent for parties on both sides of the Atlantic?

I could not imagine myself taking such measures.. after all I stick to the 9th commandment that states:

"Treat international dating the same as dating someone from your home country. The biggest difference is the cost (travel, phone. etc). This is an expensive process. Don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise."

I highly suggest literal interpretation.

[OlgaH]

That being said,  there's a lot of scumbags out there marrying FSUW and we know there are many dishonest women.  I guess we can only hope the dishonest women find the scumbags and they both leave decent people alone.

and lets wish them the happy life together with many anniversaries.

Do you think they will not be bitch!ng on the forums when their expectations don't meet the reality?

[Maxx2]

Maxx,

Maybe the greater the shortcut, more extreme measures to substantiate are justified.

IIRC you overlooked a host of 'red flags'.

Did you take shortcuts along the way that might have justified the measures you describe?

Is an ounce of prevention worth a pound of cure, and if so, would that ounce be prudent for parties on both sides of the Atlantic?

I could not imagine myself taking such measures.. after all I stick to the 9th commandment that states:

I highly suggest literal interpretation.

Tongue in cheek

[BC]

Tongue in cheek

Yes, saw the smileys in your post, but did provoke thought.

Men do seem to do a lot of 'checking'.. from flowers with photo's to see if she is 'real', reliance on agencies to see if she is honest, using false profiles to check for commitment,  checks on anti scam sites to see if she scams and yes the option of putting a detective on her tail for a bit is also readily available. 

What's good for the gander should be good for the goose.. or?

[Gator]

 One night I was having a laugh and joke with a girl in an upmarket bar/club and she came out and said, "Look, I think you're really funny and you're a great guy, but I don't want to waste anyone's time.  How much do you earn?"

Your Sydney woman is stupid and brazen.  The  average woman in her own element can develop a reasonable understanding of a man's financial status based on obvious clues.  There is no need to ask such bold questions.


A RW talking with a Western man is out of her element.   Vastly more important is the fact that a RW moving to the West is a high risk proposition for her plus she has much more to lose.


Ten years ago I discussed the concept of marrying a RW with a business partner's wife who is a distinguished practicing psychologist.   She stated that the marriage is not on equal footing  plus a RW with kids has more to lose than the AM.


That being the case, I understand and accept a RW's pragmatic concern about issues other than how her heart feels.  So give them some slack please. 

[Gator]

But what should she do if she never fall in love with him?

BTW in the case of her divorce I would rather agree she has to get not less than half of his a$$ets and if he will protest too much she should make a domestic violence claim  without hesitation. It will help him to make a right decision.   

Surely you jest.  Or is this another example of your lack of class?  What you described is both extortion and false incrimination.  RW who subscribe to such a concept are the lowest of the low (ask Maxx).


Some men have warned to stay away from RW with a high concern about financial stability.  I would not worry so much about them as the RW who harbor thoughts expressed in the quoted text. 


My ex-wife and I started divorce talks soon after our first year of marriage.  She could have tried to pull this trick, yet I had no reservations about her and her kids continuing to stay in the house.  In fact, she stayed there for three months after the divorce until she got settled in a new place.

[OlgaH]

Your Sydney woman is stupid and brazen.  The  average woman in her own element can develop a reasonable understanding of a man's financial status based on obvious clues.  There is no need to ask such bold questions.

Absolutely agree.

And the same about  RW.

A RW talking with a Western man is out of her element.   Vastly more important is the fact that a RW moving to the West is a high risk proposition for her plus she has much more to lose.

a RW with kids has more to lose than the AM.


That being the case, I understand and accept a RW's pragmatic concern about issues other than how her heart feels.  So give them some slack please.

Does anyone force her at gun point to lose what she have?  And when she is simply gambling she better to think twice and know better there is a price to pay.

[OlgaH]

Surely you jest.  Or is this another example of your lack of class?  What you described is both extortion and false incrimination.  RW who subscribe to such a concept are the lowest of the low (ask Maxx).

It was a joke, a sarcasm, I'm not surprised you didn't get it , sorry  But I'm sure Maxx did 

[Gator]

It was a joke, a sarcasm,

Glad to know.

I'm not surprised you didn't get it , sorry   

It did not go over my head.  Some other place maybe.

[OlgaH]

Glad to know.

I'm glad for you too.

It did not go over my head.  Some other place maybe.

Obviously it did, otherwise you would not take it seriously, especially after my position on this issue. 

[Maxx2]

No wonder I did so poorly with RW. I don't know what either one of you means? Olga's a sweetheart and Gator the Southern Gentleman and neither capable of malice or insult.

[OlgaH]

No wonder I did so poorly with RW. I don't know what either one of you means? Olga's a sweetheart and Gator the Southern Gentleman and neither capable of malice or insult.

Maxx, I don't glorify  the married men who are cheating on their wives showering their love on the side with expensive gifts and occasionally going to dinner with them and like Pitbull I don't see them like "worthy men", and like Pitbull and other members I don sing the swan songs to the women who " lead on the married scumbag daddies,  horny old goats and other  numerous "worthy" men for presents". That's why I don't have class, probably.  Oh, well. "Sweethearts" and "rays of sunshine" unfortunately can't please everybody.

Your RW was a con-artist. You are not only man who got a painful experience.

I was very happy for my ex-husband when he found a woman of his heart. I saw her photo, a very beautiful woman with soft and warm look. I don't remember how long they were in relationship, 2 or 3 years. He helped her a lot, he helped to remodel her apartment and when he bought her a Chevrolet she suddenly said "sorry we are not meant for each other." I was on the phone with doctors, it was 3AM by Florida time, when my mother called me and told that he was taken by ambulance to a clinic. My mother was taking care of him, visiting him in the clinic and after. I have been supporting him emotionally as I could, never mentioning her and the incident, never discussing it.

Even my now husband asked me how we could help my ex-husband.

For my ex-husband, like for some other men, who found themselves in a similar situation, it was not about money and expenses, it was about a "broken heart" in figurative and literal meaning of the phrase. And no money never can replace it.
 

[Maxx2]

Maxx, I don't glorify  the married men who are cheating on their wives showering their love on the side with expensive gifts and occasionally going to dinner with them and like Pitbull I don't see them like "worthy men", and like Pitbull and other members I don sing the swan songs to the women who " lead on the married scumbag daddies,  horny old goats and other  numerous "worthy" men for presents". That's why I don't have class, probably.  Oh, well. "Sweethearts" and "rays of sunshine" unfortunately can't please everybody.

I don't read these boards much so I have no idea who stands for what. The principals I was raised with are very old fashioned. I fit in a society closer to "Downton Abby" than "Desperate Housewives".

I was very happy for my ex-husband when he found a woman of his heart. I saw her photo, a very beautiful woman with soft and warm look. I don't remember how long they were in relationship, 2 or 3 years. He helped her a lot, he helped to remodel her apartment and when he bought her a Chevrolet she suddenly said "sorry we are not meant for each other." I was on the phone with doctors, it was 3AM by Florida time, when my mother called me and told that he was taken by ambulance to a clinic. My mother was taking care of him, visiting him in the clinic and after. I have been supporting him emotionally as I could, never mentioning her and the incident, never discussing it.

Even my now husband asked me how we could help my ex-husband.

For my ex-husband, like for some other men, who found themselves in a similar situation, it was not about money and expenses, it was about a "broken heart" in figurative and literal meaning of the phrase. And no money never can replace it.

Remember "Avi's Story"? Avi's first wife Ilana helped Avi with her support for him throughout his ordeal. Even agreed to the film interview that was very uncomfortable for her to do. She was married to her second husband at the time and he didn't object. Many people who seen the film remarked to me what "class" she had. That she was "noble". I agree.

[Donna_Pedro]

No wonder I did so poorly with RW. I don't know what either one of you means? Olga's a sweetheart and Gator the Southern Gentleman and neither capable of malice or insult.

For these two things you have me on this forum 

[JR]

For these two things you have me on this forum 

Hahahaaaa! How insightful

[Gator]

Maxx, I don't glorify  the married men who are cheating on their wives showering their love on the side with expensive gifts and occasionally going to dinner with them and like Pitbull I don't see them like "worthy men", and like Pitbull and other members I don sing the swan songs to the women who " lead on the married scumbag daddies,  horny old goats and other  numerous "worthy" men for presents". That's why I don't have class, probably.  Oh, well. "Sweethearts" and "rays of sunshine" unfortunately can't please everybody.

Olga I am not going to debate the specific situation with you.  However, I can not let it slide when I see you twist words.  I defined "worthy men" and it was the opposite of what you just wrote.  Either you are being intellectually disingenuous, or can not read. 

[OlgaH]

Olga I am not going to debate the specific situation with you.  However, I can not let it slide when I see you twist words.  I defined "worthy men" and it was the opposite of what you just wrote.  Either you are being intellectually disingenuous, or can not read.

Yes, of course, you defined it later trying to justify good nature of the Daughter like "Worthy men are unmarried men near her age from good families." Does she turn their offers because there are not enough expensive presents from them like in case with a young AM in Florida who was looking for something more serious ?  She did not turn the expensive gifts from a married man and from a Saudi student. 

[Gator]

Olga,
 
Your thoughts are confused,  either by too much emotion or too little intelligence.  I find you hopeless.  I suggest that we ignore each other. 
 
Have a nice life. 

[OlgaH]

Olga,
 
Your thoughts are confused,  either by too much emotion or too little intelligence.  I find you hopeless.  I suggest that we ignore each other. 
 
Have a nice life.

Gator, my thoughts are fine and they are not just my thoughts  But I have noticed when some members don't agree with you and their thoughts are different from yours, you are very quick to mention their level of intelligence or intellect, your tactic goes "The best defense is a good offense"  What ever, Gator, your remarks towards me really mean nothing to me, and it will not bother me at all if you ignore me. 

It's not the end of the world, relax.

[BC]

Oh isn't it so exciting when thing get personal.

ho hum.. - I'll stick to the bottle of rum.

[OlgaH]

Oh isn't it so exciting when thing get personal.

ho hum.. - I'll stick to the bottle of rum.

Would you mind to pour out a little bit of rum in my coffee 

[Muzh]

Oh isn't it so exciting when thing get personal.

ho hum.. - I'll stick to the bottle of rum.

May I recommend Ron del Barrilito 3 stars? It's a sipping rum and is much better when served in a brandy snifter. I don't think you'll find anything finer than that.

[SANDRO43]

When I was in Venezuela, I found this aņejo rum rather good:

It can also be found in some Italian supermarkets .