Turboguy's Trips - Sometimes things don't go the way you hope

[Turboguy]

In another section of the forum 525i posted the following.

Can you tell why the meeting was a disaster? Did you have a fluent and pleasant communication on the phone before the meeting? You had no chemistry with her. Did you think you had chemistry before you met her?

I said I would post a trip report on my trips.  My results of my trips were not what I hoped for but perhaps we can learn from my mistakes.

CHAPTER 1 - TRIP 1

 

after my former fiancée returned to Russia, I started in November to write some gals and to start my search anew.   The first gal who captured my attention was "e" from Nikolaev.  "e" was 26, divorced and had a 4 year old son.  Her photos looked like about an 8.  We seemed to have a lot of rapport in our letters.  She poured out her heart to me about her bad marriage, about a husband who was from England and lost his job a few months after their marriage.  She felt he was irresponsible and he spent his time playing computer games instead of looking for a job.  I poured my heart out to her about my failed K-1 and the disappointment I had with my experiences with Luda.  We seemed like we could really communicate and I decided to make a trip to meet her.

 

I knew I was going to have one day in Kiev and wanted to arrange a meeting there with someone.  My top candidate was "j'.  "j" was a tall lanky and pretty 29 year old brunette that was writing often, sending beautiful photos, and over the course of our correspondence she had promoted me from "Dear Turboguy", to "My Dear Turboguy, to "My dearest darling Turboguy"  or more.   I wrote 'j' and asked if she would like to meet.  Her answer was,  Oh, I have finals that week,  I probably can't meet you but I won't know for sure till the last minute.  So, since my schedule changed a bit I said.  Ok, "j" I have the problem fixed, how about Saturday, you won't have finals then.  She wrote back, Oh, I have a seminar that day, I am not sure if I can meet you but I won't know until the last minute.  I gave her a promotion to "history" and started to look through my candidates.

 

I decided to try 'a' .   She was a cute, tiny 24 year old who I had only written a few weeks.  Her letters were always short but in each she said she wanted to meet me, so I gave it a shot.  'a' said she would love to meet me and I was set for that trip.

 

'e' had arranged a driver to pick me up at Borispol and drive me to Nikolaev.   My plane from Pittsburg was 2 hours late in leaving and of course I missed my flight to Europe.  After waiting for an hour behind 8 Arabs who had 7 tickets to one place on a plane they missed and one ticket for the baby with them for an entirely different destination.  Finally that got their problems worked out and they found me a flight that got me in that day but 4 hours late.  The poor driver got there at 10 am and I arrived at 6 pm.  We got into Nikolaev about 2 am.  I flipped him a nice tip and he felt much better about the wait.

 

The next day I met 'e'.   In her photos she was an 8.  In real life, perhaps a 4 or 5.  She was the hardest person to talk to I have ever met.  She had told me she was a translator.  She was actually a terp for a marriage agency in town.  Any questions I asked got one word answers.  She volunteered nothing and basically our conversation was a monolog on my part.  Her son David was sick so she had to get home.  I was happy to see her go.

 

The truth was we just had no chemistry.  It was pretty mutual actually.  She was a nice enough gal, just too quiet.  Her son was sick most of the 5 days I was there and mostly we just made excuses to not spend too much time with each other.  I spent most of my time at the internet café

 

The plans were for me to take the all night train back to Kiev.  I kept hinting we should go get tickets but it never seemed to happen.  Finally the day before I was to leave I said I thought we really had to go get the tickets.  She agreed and we headed to the train station.  Guess what.  Everything was sold out except the lowest class.  We bought one ticket for the lowest class.  It set me back all of 6 bucks and I was prepared to spend the trip sitting on a hard wooden bench. 

 

I was pleasantly surprised that the lowest class was actually a sleeper.  I had to rent the bedding for another buck but still it was not bad.  I had taken a lowest class sleeper from Moscow to Belarus ten years earlier and it was like something out of a horror movie but this was good.  I arrived at the Kiev train station at 5 AM.  I had a reservation at the Rus hotel but knew I could not check in that early.  One bad part about the station was they had no heat on and this was mid December.  I killed time until 10 am there, drinking coffee, walking, drinking coffee walking.  Always looking for a spot with a little heat or not so much of a draft.  At 10 I took a cab to the Rus and was told I could not check in until Noon.  At noon I called 'a" and we agreed to meet at 1:30 in front of TGI Fridays. 

 

I arrived at TGIF 10 minutes early and she arrived 15 minutes late which is almost punctual for an FSU gal.  Fortunately my frozen nose would not have fallen off for at least 10 more minutes.  We want across the street to a Japanese restaurant and talking to her was like talking to a best friend you had not seen in ages.  'a' was a little doll.  I think she had listed her height as 5'2"  She needs at least 5" elevator shoes to hit that and she was only wearing 3" ones.  But she was a doll.  She had long curly hair, a big smile, big eyes and a slender build.  Her bra will never suffer from overwork but her build was fine.  We talked for a few hours and then she had to go back to work for a while.  She asked if I wanted to go to a night club that night.  I said yes.  She asked if she could bring a friend.  I said yes.  She actually brought two friends which was fine.  I paid the cover charge for the four of us and we went in.   'a' asked about champagne.  We got a menu and champagne was $ 200.00.   I gulped, she looked at the price and ordered a glass of wine for each of us.   A little later we danced.  She was always looking into my eyes and always smiling.   After about 40 minutes of dancing she sat me down in a chair and stood between my legs and danced for me.   She was always looking right into my eyes,  when I would smile she would smile.  When she would smile, I would smile.  She had training as a professional dancer so she moved quite well and it was a bit exotic.  I liked it.  We went in a cab back to the Rus and said good bye.  I said I would be back for a longer visit soon.  I returned to the USA the next day.  I was disappointed in Nikolaev but I thought perhaps I had found my gal in Kiev. 



 

 

[Turboguy]

CHAPTER 2  - TRIP 2

 

I made plans to go back to Kiev for 5 days in mid January.  I had some extra time so I decided I would go to Moscow for 3 days.   I would see 'a' for those 5 days.  For Moscow I had one gal, 'e' who was a tall, thin blond, 31, never married, no kids, reasonably attractive that I wanted to meet.  A lot of her letters were cut and paste but she seemed romantic and like a good candidate for me.   I only promised her one day but said I might be able to see her more.   I had been talking to one gal Marina, who had an address 30 km from Moscow center that I thought about meeting.  She told me to send her $ 200.00 for the train ride to Moscow and never mind what I told her.  I had another gal 'k' who was 28, never married, a little goofy but cute.  I set up a meeting with her for my last day in Moscow.   I still had my middle day open and told 'e' I could probably see her that day too. 

 

I had written a friend and asked her to arrange an apartment for me in Kiev.  I told 'a' that I was doing that.  'a' wrote back and said she could have gotten an apartment for me.  I wrote her back and said to go ahead and get an apartment for me, and wrote my friend and said not to get the apartment.   As the time got closer 'a' never said more about the apartment.  10 days before my trip I asked her is she had arranged it.  'a' wrote back and said she could do that if I wanted but it is easy to get apartments and I could do it myself easily  I took that as red flag one.  I got on the internet and arranged an apartment, a pretty nice one actually.

 

Off I went for Kiev.  I had arranged an airport transfer from the people I got my apartment from.  It was a rip off but it was convenient, or so I thought.  The price was 50 euro's  uggg.  I wouldn't have minded it so much if the driver had been there but I waited an hour for him and was just ready to try a to take a cab and find their offices when he showed.  We went off to the apartment which was a very nice apartment.  It was one block from the Globus shopping center, very Americanized and complete with high speed internet, well internet anyway, well maybe snailnet.  I remember looking at the king sized bed and wondering as warm and friendly as my first visit with 'a' was if it might get used for more than sleeping. 

 

While I was in Kiev on the internet, I got a letter from a pretty 32 year old gal from Moscow who thanked me for writing her.  She said she thought there was too much distance between us for anything serious but she would be happy to write and be my friend.  I wrote back and asked if she would like to have lunch on Wednesday.  She wrote back and sounded excited and said yes and asked where and when I wanted to meet.  I wrote back and not knowing Moscow well suggested meeting at the shopping center near the Kremlin and we could find a place near there.  She wrote back and said I was a jerk and she knew what I had in mind, and that I had picked a horrible spot.  I don't know what she thought I had in mind but decided to forget her.

 

I called 'a'  We agreed to meet in front of the TGI Fridays.  This was when the weather was the coldest in 25 years so off I went in the -30 degree weather for the meeting.   That was a long cold walk and she was actually only 10 minutes late that time.  We went to a nice Ukranian restaurant a few blocks away.  I had to let her do the talking for the first 20 minutes till my lips thawed out.  We had a nice talk, pleasant but not romantic and off she went for home.  The next night we went to a restaurant in the globus center and more of the same.  Pleasant conversation and no warmth or romance.  The third night we went to the same place.  The forth we gook her 11 year old sister to dinner and to a movie, (in Russian of course).  The last day there her 11 year old sister went with us and we went bowling.  My 5 days were up, my bed was only used for sleeping, no romance, not even a kiss unless ones on the cheek count. Off I went for Moscow a little disappointed.

 

I stayed at the Cosmos in Moscow and 'e' met me in the lobby and off we went for a dinner.   'e' had written in her letters that chemistry was important to her.  We seemed to have a lot of that.  We got along well, the dinner tab was over $ 200.00.  She asked why I wanted the NEW wine for $ 70.00 a bottle instead of the OLD wine for $ 400.00 a bottle.  She asked me if I had ever eaten in a Yorky parky restaurant (that might not be quite right but it is a chain of fairly nice but reasonably priced restaurants).  Actually it was the main place my former fiancée Luda and I often ate at.  She said she would never eat in such a place.  We did have good chemistry.  I remember thinking that we kissed more on the metro ride from the restaurant to my hotel than Luda and I had in the 9 months I had know her.  We said good bye in the metro station and she headed home. 

 

I heard from 'k', my Wednesday date.  She was sick, had a fever, had bought a new dress for our meeting but could not meet me.  

 

The next night 'e' and I took a cab to a sea food restaurant.  I mentioned this in another post but the bill was $ 550.00.  That was with the NEW wine and about a $ 50.00 dinner for me.  She ate the rest. Then she asked if we could go to a night club where popular singers from Russia entertain.  I said yes and we took another cab there.   Our timing was off.  We missed one show by 20 minutes and the next would not be for nearly two hours.  After I saw the admission charge for the two of us was $ 250.00 I said I was tired and since our timing was off I wanted to call it a night.  Had we gotten in and bought a few drinks my tab for the one date would have been close to a grand.  This gal is too rich for my blood.   I headed to my hotel and she went home.

 

I had told her I might be available the last day.  My phone rang off the hook from her, but I figured I could not afford to answer it.   I spent my last day at the internet café and was happy to be alone.  I headed home, again a little disappointed.

 

I still write her some.  In her last letter she asked why I did not live in an ocean front home.

[Turboguy]

CHAPTER 3,   TRIP 3

 

I was writing a gal from Kharkov that really had me turned on.  She had a look I really liked.  She had about a 7 face from the photos and about a 10 body.   She was 31 thin but shapely, jet black hair and was a nurse.  When 'e' first started writing me she said she hoped I was serious.  I wrote back that I was the most serious guy she would ever find.  6 days after I returned from Moscow and Kiev I was back in the air heading for Kharkov.  'e' had said she would arrange the most beautiful apartment in town for me and would cook me all my meals.  She had arranged to take off work the whole time I was there and was meeting me at the airport.   I thought this really might be the one.

 

I found her on Elena's site.  A few weeks later I saw her profile as one of the last new gals added to Bruno's site right before he shut it down.  I mentioned her to a good friend and he kept sending me more links to her listings.  She has herself on about every site you could imagine.

 

She was waiting for me at the airport.  The 7 face in the photos was at least an 8 in real life.  The body stayed a 10 at least for all I saw of it.   We went to the apartment.  It was very nice.  I paid the $ 75.00 a night and accidentally paid for an extra day.  'e' suggested we get some groceries and we took the cab to the supermarket.  We ended up with a buggy full of food and a few personal things for her.  I couldn't think I was going to eat $ 125.00 worth of groceries in my time there but it was fine.

 

She was a great cook and did cook me all my dinners.  We had nice talks, walked the streets arm in arm but never got beyond a kiss on the cheek at the beginning and end of the days.  She took good care of me.  Even when I had to fly out and get up at 5:30 she came and went with me to the airport.

 

No chemistry?  Perhaps?  I am wondering a little if she was not a small time scammer.  I don't know for sure but she told me her pay was $ 50.00 a month as a nurse.  The apartment was nice.  I am not sure it was worth $ 75.00 a night in Kharkov.  She had asked me to bring her two pair of jeans.  I am just sort of wondering if the apartment was really about $ 50.00 with a $ 25.00 kick back to her, two pair of jeans, a lot of groceries she could use or sell on the black market a few little things like the phone card she asked me to buy her.  She could have ended up with a few hundred in her pocket and do that with 3 or 4 guys a month and her income goes from $ 50.00 to maybe a thousand.  I don't know for sure, but it would explain things.  I noticed when she called the lady with the apartment she did not have to look up the number.  The only time she seemed to get upset was when I told her I had accidentally paid for an extra night.  She seemed to think it would be insulting to try and get a refund.  Actually what I told her was to talk to the landlord after I left and I had in mind her keeping the refund.  I thought it would do 'e' more good than the landlady.  I think if I am correct about 'e' being a scammer she saw herself loosing her profit and did not understand that I wanted her  to have the $ 75.00.  Who knows, just a thought I had. Again, I returned to the USA disappointed.

[Turboguy]

CHAPTER 4 TRIP 4

 

For my fourth trip to a foreign land to meet a Russian gal, I chose California.  I posted a little about this before.   I had been writing a gal from Rostov.  She said in one of her letters that she wanted to visit me.  I told her I did not think she could get a visa.  She wrote back that she already had one, a one year multi entry visa.  I told her February was a very busy month and March would work out better.  She said that was a busy time at work and she could not take time off in March.  I said I had two trade shows in Los Angeles with 4 days off in between.  She could come then, go to the trade shows with me and we could sightsee for the 4 days.  She said that would be great and we got tickets for her to spend 11 days with me. 

 

I picked 't' up at LAX and off we went for the Doubletree hotel.  She was very attractive.  She is 36, tall, built ok, the middle aged spread is starting to hit but has not hit too hard yet.  Her English is just ok.  She was very pleasant, always smiled, seemed like she is very even tempered and easy to get along with.  She was really a nice person to be around.  We had great chemistry and got along fine.  We actually had a great time.  In the 4 days we did Disneyland, Universal, Las Vegas, Hollywood, and the pacific coast. 

 

We went shopping the one night and she picked out about $ 100.00 worth of clothes and I was prepared for her to ask me to pay for them but she said she would pay and whipped out a $ 100.00 bill.  All in all it was a great trip.  I think she could well be worth exploring a possible future with.  I won't say I have my mind made up that she is the one but I do consider her a serious contender.   

[Turboguy]

One other thing I will post about these trips is that 'a' from Kiev is now writing me sounding like I am the love of her life and that she dreams of us ending up together.  I may give her another shot in a few weeks.  After wasting 5 days with her, I do have some hesitation in doing this but who knows.

My last comment (hopefully) is that this has always been a situation where we go visit the gals there because they can't get a visa for here.  't''s visit to the USA and her visa seem to be an exception.  I will add that I asked her how she got the tourist visa and she said she just applied and they gave it to her.  Things might be getting easier.  I have two other gals talking about coming to the USA.  One of these is a very foxy 26 year old single gal from Etkatrinburg who visited her brother in WV for three months last summer.  She is planning to come back this year and is only a three hour drive for me.   I told her if she comes I would be happy to spend as much time as she wants with her.   I have another who is coming to NYC to visit her brother.  Perhaps the days of them visiting us are getting closer and more possible. 

 

[Albert]

WOW Turbo, I can't even imagine flying back and forth to Eastern Europe like you do with little down time in between.  After my flights back to USA. I am pretty out of it for about a week with jet lag, etc.  On my trips the other way to EE, I don't suffer much jet lag because of the excitement of a new place, new gals, etc.

I guess because of your job, you can't be away from USA for an extended period?  I always go to EE for a month or more at a time.

Can't even imagine or comprehend the money you are forking out for kisses on the cheek.

I always meet 6-8 face gals with 7-9 bodies, and I haven't taken ANY to an expensive restaurant.  None have even suggested.  The most I have ever paid for a meal at a nice restaurant in FSU (for two) was something like $40-50.  Probably the difference between the 35-45 y.o. gals I spend time with compared to the 20 somethings you date.  Each time I go through the process of finding a group of new gals in a new city, I am contacted by 20 somethings (even though my profile states 35-50).  I always tell them thanks but no thanks.  I see more and more (from reports like yours) that staying away from the 20 somethings has been a very wise thing to do.

If I were to go to spend $200-550 plus for meal and get nothing but a kiss on cheek, I would make sure I was only with 10 face and 10 body.

Different strokes . . . .

[Albert]

Also, with 'a' can't you see that she just wants a few more nice meals, entertainment for her sister, friends, etc.

If you are willing to give her that, why not just send her the money and tell her to take her local boyfriend.  Would save you the airfare and be a lot cheaper for you overall.

I see now why you really get ticked when I mention getting some sex on my visits.  I would get pretty ticked to if I were in your situation.

Based on these trip reports and what you wrote earlier about being an easy mark for those who want to borrow money, etc. . . . . . . I really could use a loan for $10,000 or so.

[catzenmouse]

Thanks for the great posts TG! Eventually lightning will strike for you. Nice to see you still have a sense of humor and positive hopes about this.

Ken

[Turboguy]

Thanks Ken.  I think it is basically a numbers game and I don't think you can expect to really connect with everyone you meet.

Albert, thanks for the comments.   The meals with 'a' were pretty reasonable.  Most were $ 20-30.00.  I really don't think she is looking for a few nice meals.   My own opinion is "a" was going through a little emotional turmoil trying to sort through a lot of guys that are inteseted in her.   I think on my first trip to see her I was the first American she had met and by the time I got back the competion had warmed up. 

There are times of the year I can't do an extended trip.  For instance my trip to Kiev and Moscow, I got off the plane and drove directly to a trade show in Columbus, arriving at 2 am and back up at 7 to go to work.   I finished the trade show, gave myself one day at home and in the office and was back on a plane to Ukraine.   I have done trips as long as 3 weeks but that is the longest.

It does not bother me at all if you get sex on your visits.  As long as someone is honest about thier goals I think it is their own business.  It sounds like you are.  What I mean by that is if someone pretends to be interested in marrage and a future and really only wants to get laid, that I don't like.  If someone is honest with a gal that he is only interested in dating and getting laid and he gets laid that is fine.

Beleive me Albert, my sex life has not been deprived.  I might be a little more private about it than you or some,  but if I felt like bragging I could probably dig somewhere in the dark recesses of my memory and find a few things to brag about.

Another thing to keep in mind Albert is that my goal is not to get real kisses rather than kisses on the cheek and it is not to get laid.  If my goal was to get laid, yes, perhaps I would go after a little older age group.  I do have gals I write that are perhaps up to 50.  I will be meeting a 45 year old on my next trip.  The main range I am targeting are gals in their 30's.   Of course I am writing a pretty cute 18 year old too!!

One last thing Albert, please PM my your bank account number so I can do a wire transfer on the 10 grand. 

 

 

[Voyageur]

TurboGuy,

Thanks for sharing your experiences.  I know that you are a really nice guy and that sometimes nice guys can get taken advantage of.  But it seems that you also have the experience to deal with these situations in an intelligent way. And it is always easy for others to criticize someone else's past mistakes, especially when people are being so honest in their trip reports.

I hope for the best.  With such a good attitude and intentions, am sure that you are going to find your happiness on one of your trips.  Don't setlle for anyone less than you deserve.

Now that I have married, I look back on the trips that I made fondly, even the ones that seemed to have no results. Each trip taught me something that I try to use in my present day-to-day life.

[Turboguy]

Thanks Voyager,

I appreciate your nice comments.  I think the happiness you and Ken have found are an inspiration for me to continue my search.  I do think it is a numbers game.  I think there are people who make one trip, meet one gal and find their soulmate but for others of us we have to keep hunting until we find the right one.   If life were so simple that anyone we met could be the right one for us it would take all the fun out of it.

Yes, I do think when you have a nice person who cares about people they do tend to get taken advantage of.   It is something you just deal with and move on until you trip over the right one. 

I have had some correspondence with the gal who visited me in Los Angeles and It looks like I will be spending a few days with her in Rostov soon.  I am not sure she is the right one, but I don't think she would be a wrong one either.  I will meet a few more on that trip.

[catzenmouse]

TG,

 Yes, I can truly say that I am very happy with my situation and  especially with my lovely wife. Most of the time she is happy too. I  wonder often how I got so lucky. But also there is a lot of work that  continues and will continue for some time. One of the hardest things is  to see how much she misses her family and her culture and how difficult  it is to deal with the tremendous amount of changes that she has gone  through here. She has (and continues) to tell me that the only reason  that she is here is because she loves me but it is hard for me to see  the sadness in her when she thinks of home. I'm hoping that our trip in  June will help in this but I really don't know if it will help or if it  will make her miss it even more. Only time will tell and I guess I'll  know more by the end of June.

Ken

[Turboguy]

My guess is that it will help Ken.  I think when she goes back she will find she misses here a lot more than she misses there.  I think she remembers the things she liked but pays little attention to the things she did not like there.  I have heard a few of the guys say that they can't wait to get back and once they are there they can't wait till their trip is over and they are back here.

[BillyB]

Turboguy,

Looks like you been around for a while as you have over a thousand posts and you shouldn't need any tips but I've been around too and from the way you describe those women, I know you have not called them very much or not at all before you commited to visiting them. I've always told people to call, call, call!!!!! I've seen many guys on the other forum brag how smooth everything is going through correspondence and come back and say there isn't any chemistry at all and when the question is asked, they respond they called very little or not at all.

Why call? Because insincere women can't maintain a high level of enthusiasm for a man very long if she's not into him. I've written and called a lot of women. Some women are never home in the evenings when they work in the day. They could be party girls. Some women love their sleep so much that when you call them in the morning, they hang up on you. You can also tell by the tone of the woman's voice if you are important to them or if they are excited that you called. Some men find themselves not being able to maintain a conversation with some of the women out there. Calling women can increase your chance of success and save you money on airfare.

Everytime I call my fiancee Natalia, she laughs, giggles, is excited, and enjoys talking to me. She is happy when I call at 7 AM in the morning. She will be outside and run up four flights of stairs after her mom yells out the window that I'm on the phone to answer me. She will always be at home if I tell her I will call at a certain time. She will get out of her bath with soap running in her eyes to take my call and she has never told me to call back later. I feel I'm the most important thing in her life and everything else can wait. That is why I chose her over many other beautiful women. I need to feel wanted and loved too.

Natalia's a sincere woman that put effort towards me. An insincere woman won't give much effort or can put on an act for only so long before she shows her true self. You can figure out a lot with phone calls.

[Turboguy]

Hi Billy,

Actually that is pretty good advice.  I think it will help me and a lot of others as well.  I did call 'a' some but she was about the only one.   You are right, a few phone calls can save a lot of airfare and time.

[BillyB]

Turboguy,

I think a thread like this can help others more than the success stories. I appreciate you and other guys that have the guts to talk about your failures in this process. Newbies need to understand that you not only have to look out for scammers, but pro-daters and green card girls. We need luck in this process but we shouldn't have to rely on it entirely and large amounts of phone calls can help prevent visiting an insincere woman or a sincere woman that's incompatible. I also want to say for those that do make calls, don't talk for hours on end about nonsense unless the woman likes to talk for hours on end. I keep my calls short and sweet. I am a quiet type of guy and that works for my fiancee since she told me she was looking for a quiet type of man.

[Voyageur]

TurboGuy, 

Thanks for your kind comments. I have the same feeling about my wife and situation as Ken does.  My wife is is more woman than I could ever dreamed of finding, and I have no illusions that I was simply extremely lucky.  I know that this does not help someone still searching, but it is really the truth IMHO.

That being said, the relationship is a great amount of work. The cultural differences between Russian and American life are really profound and this really never goes away.  In a difficult moment I always stop to think how lucky I am, and how hard I looked, and how it is truly difficult to find someone that you love - and that loves you - in this world.  How you are so sure about her, and how she shows you that she is sure about you also.  And these thoughts and remembering the not-so-good times during my search, that helps me take a deep breath and move forward.  I also think that my life experience has helped me - in my younger days I would not have listened to the advise about "not sweating the small stuff".  As an example - such as how everything in Russia is so much better than in the US.  From clothes to stores, to schools to roads, to how people interact with each other, even.  Really, what does it matter what your other half  thinks that the FSU is superior in these ways, maybe it is.  But it is so unimportant to argue about.  I just agree and move on...

And I must disagree with BillyB, at least in my case. When we were waiting for the K1 visa, my wife and I wrote great emails and SMS to each other, several times a day. Of course we talked on the phone frequently also, but for some reason this was never as comfortable as writing for us.  Even today, our telephone calls are frequent but short, but I have no doubts about her feelings. I wrote before that the rather blunt way of communication was a bit of a problem at first, but it is now quite refreshing .  I wish you the best of luck TurboGuy in your upcoming trip to Rostov.

[Turboguy]

Thanks for the nice comments Voyager and for sharing your thoughts and experiences.  I too got a lot of Russia being so great from Luda and it never bothered me either.   I have seen a lot of good common sense in your posts and always felt at least a small bond since we live in the same state even though at opposite ends and went through the K-1 process at almost identical times.

Personally I like e-mails and sms better than talking on the phone to the gals.  I am not sure why, I just do.  I do have to agree that some phone calls may have helped me be aware that there were communication problems with the one from Nikoleav, I am not so sure about the others.  I think too that someone can be different on the phone and face to face just as easily.

Thanks for the good wishes for my visit to the gal from Rostov-on-Don.  She is a great gal, and we got along well.  I am not ready to make a final decision but I do like her a lot, we had great chemistry and enjoyed being with each other a lot.  We both seem to want to give our relationship a chance to grow. 

I am going to throw out the thing that does bother me a little bit and see what kind of comments the others have.  It bothers me a bit that she was willing to travel half way around the world to visit someone she had a handful of e-mails from without even asking about sleeping arrangements.  She never asked if we were going to have separate rooms. (we didn't) or even separate beds (we didn't).   Perhaps I am being to prudish, I just think about this a bit.   Any comments?

 

[catzenmouse]

On one hand many FSU ladies do not have the hang ups that are so common here about sex, nudity, etc. so as you are both consenting adults and I'm sure if she did not like you she would not have slept in the same bed with you so perhaps it is nothing.

On the other hand there are the concerns of "If she jumped in bed with me right away what is she doing now?" kinda thing.

Maybe think about how you would behave and use that as a basis. If you see three women on a trip and sleep with all of them does that make you a bad person? You are an adult, she is an adult, you make a choice to enjoy each others company. Would it be fair to behave one way and expect others to behave differently? I think we all do this to some extent. The old thing my father used to say to me, "Do as I say and not as I do." Man that would piss me off so much as a teenager. Of course now I see his logic on this as being that as young as I was I did not have the expreience to make an informed decision as to what I should or should not be doing.

Just some thoughts,

Ken

[BillyB]

It bothers me a bit that she was willing to travel half way around the world to visit someone she had a handful of e-mails from without even asking about sleeping arrangements.  She never asked if we were going to have separate rooms. (we didn't) or even separate beds (we didn't).   Perhaps I am being to prudish, I just think about this a bit.   Any comments?

 

 

Your not being prudish. She has as much caution towards men she hasn't met as do prostitues. She can sleep with any man just as quickly. If you're looking for a good time or a  party girl then she's shouldn't be a problem for you, If you're looking for a devoted, faithful wife, then she could be a problem because she didn't show you that she has limits when meeting new men.

Voyageur, I like writing more than calling as you do. As a matter of fact, most people would say I don't call my fiancee enough because I don't like using the phone much with anybody. But I learned that you can figure out someone through their tone of voice and you can figure out if they maintain a high level of enthusiasum with you calling. Phone calls and massive amounts of letter writing and SMS's don't guarantee success but everything helps than having to rely on luck alone. 

[Albert]

Turbo, you already know my answer!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a gal who doesn't ask about sleeping arrangements.  She is just a mature woman who is confident in herself.  It doesn't always mean they are willing to have sex first day either.

A very confident mature woman will not hesitate to share a bed.  Quite often they will get in bed and then say . . . this is my side . . . that is your side . . . good night.

So likely this gal did not know before hand if she was or was not going to have sex with you.  She just went with the flow and let her degree of comfort with you control her actions.  Many men cannot seem to comprehend that women have sexual desires also.

And this idea that if a gal has sex quickly with you, she probably does with many other guys is total nonsense as a criteria for deciding whether or not to continue with the gal.

There are many gals who have sex with many guys quickly . . . . until they meet a guy they put their sights on for husband material.  They very clearly know the silly rules and ideas that men have about these things.  So guess what . . . . they hold off on sex with this guy they are really interested in.  He . . . . being the normal guy who thinks in this silly way says . . . . now here is a good quality woman.  I will have to work hard to get in her panties . . . . this is the type of gal I want . . . . not some loose gal who has sex on first date.  What a stupid way for guys to think.

[Albert]

I forgot to mention.  Sometimes the gal will even insist on sex . . . . and there is little the man can do to prevent it.

[Turboguy]

Albert, you amaze me sometimes.  How did you get that photo of my last American girlfriend and me? 

[Turboguy]

Gosh, maybe that is why I am still single after 50 lifetimes of trying to find the right FSU women.   If they don't go to bed with you, there is no chemistry.  If they do they have no morals.   Hummmm

I agree you can sleep in the same bed and not have sex.  I did that a lot with my former fiancee before she went back.  Except for the nights she slept on the couch.  I am not looking at this as a deal breaker.  I do think about it though.  Mainly I just don't want to end up with a woman who will sleep with anyone at the drop of a hat, (or panty).   I really think "t" is not that way but I think she is a little more liberal than some of the American women I have been around.  We shall see.

 

[Zhena]

Tuborg,I dont see anything bad in a sex between two people who like each other very much:) Otherwise how will you know that she is a right girl for you?