Newbie with some questions i'm sure you've heard before.

[jasonbr]

Hi people. I've got some questions for you, i'm sure you've heard them all before... but then again maybe not. About me: i'm a very successful young man. I'm 22 yrs old, run my own business and own my own home and have enough toys to sink a ship (small ship). I've had my fair share of relationships with AW and was thinking about traveling anyways... so i figured why not meet some new girls along the way. So i went to the free russian personals and sent out a few e-mails.. not many, maybe a few. There was one girl from kiev that stood out because her profession was "translator" and she was f'n gorgeous, blond hair green eyes.

Anyways, we've tossed a couple e-mails back and forth she seems like a genuine, not to mention her written english may be better than mine! Well she's the same age as me (22) and upon talking to her i found out that she actually taught english at a university but had to quit because it didn't pay enough.

My question is rather straight forward but i wanted to explain my situation first. Her profile says she's looking for a dude between 24 and 32, as most of them do.  Well here's the question: why would a girl put themselves on the website? I'm sure there are men in Russia that are just as good as myself..... why offer yourself to a man you've never met especially one that may be 12 yrs older? Why? Why? Why? I can only come to the conclusion that it is for the money or the potentially better lifestyle it could lead to- as i don't plan on sending her a dime. Am i being too closed minded? I'm just trying to put myself in her position.

I'm not trying to generalize all the RW, but i may be trying to generalize the ones that advertise themselves to american gentlemen.
What do you guys think? Seems like the formula to finding a genuine RW is "RW - RW on the boards= genuine RW"  

-jason

[Turboguy]

Hi Jason,

Welcome to the world of guys who think Russian and FSU women are pretty terrific compared to American women.   It gets addicting.  Once you get hooked you won't want to waste your time with American women.

Why would a beatiful woman want to seek out a foreign man rather than just hook up with a local.  Well, the locals often drink too much, are not too faithful, can't make enough money to support a wife and family, don't want kids,  don't treat their women well and just are not as good as marriage material.  Yes, there are some good men there, they are just harder to find.

As far as the age difference what you are quoting is nothing.  Some like an older more settled man.  Most want someone within their general age range but they tend to go a little wider in their choices than gals here do.  You will find a wide range of gals that will be interested in you.  You will do fine.  Read as much as you can here.  Learn how to pick out a scammer and just as much as you can.  The people here can be pretty helpful

 

 

[Albert]

Jason, first I would discourage you from this venture.  You are just too young.  The gals there do tend to look for a little older guy . . . not 20-30 years older . . . . but most in their early 20s would be looking for mid to late 20s.  They equate the older guy with more financial stability.  True, you say you are financially stable and have your own business . . . but most of them just plain won't believe you at your age.

Second, an interpreter gal is not the way to go.  These gals have quite a bit of experience in dealing with western guys since they interpret for marriage agencies.  They become quite jaded pretty quickly and pick up on all the ways to scam western men.  Such a gal will eat your lunch pretty quickly and take you to the cleaners . . . almost for sure.  You will not be any match for a good looking gal in this category . . . it won't even be a good contest.

Third, this game between western guys and FSU gals is purely based on economics.  They would much prefer to stay at home, date and marry the local Sergeys and Igors.

 

[Turboguy]

I think the truth of it lies somewhere between what Albert said and what I said.  Your age will be an obsticale but you won't be getting any younger so as time passes it will get easier and easier. 

Just for the fun of it I looked at Elena's weekly matches to see how many of the foxy girls under 23 would exclude you on age.  There were none but most listed a max age only.  I then tried the same thing with free personals looking at attractive gals 18-22.  About half would exclude you and half wouldn't.    That still leaves you lots of choices.  I wish only half the ones I liked didn't exclude me becuase of age. 

One of the good things about this site is you can get a lot of different opinions and there is also a lot of disagreement.  I think Alberts statment that the attraction of FSU women for western men was purely based on economics was a bit extreame.  That is a factor and those for whom that is the critical factor you can do without anyway.   Economics is just a part of it.

With what you have done so far in your life I don't think difficulties and challenges will scare you off.  I think you will be fine.

[al-c]

Hi Jason,

Why would RW want us and not a good local Russian boy?  Because a good, local unmarried Russian boy is a figment of her imagination.  They don't exist.

Actually they do exist, but the demand for them vastly exceeds the supply.  The population of Russia is a staggering 60% female; 1.5 women for every man.  So assuming all Russian men would make for good husbands, 1 out of 3 Russian women will not find a man.

But not all Russian men would make for good husbands.  There is a high rate of alcoholism, drug addiction, and borish or even violent tendencies among many Russian men.  Also take the married ones out of circulation, and now 1 out of 2 Russian women will not find a man in Russia.

So they look west.

You can find what you are looking for, but don't emphasize your money to her.  Sure, a good woman wants to know that you are financially secure enough to take proper care of her, but that is about as far as her interest in money will go (for the good women, at least).  She wants love.  That is what really matters to her, not money.

If you emphasize your money, you will find a wife, but get ready to spend it on her big time because the big spender is who you will attract.  And once she finds another man with even more money, off she goes to him!  I don't think this is what you want.

Write to some women and see what happens.  When they ask about you, tell them that you are a financially secure entrepeneur, but leave it at that.  Talk about yourself on a personal level because that is what she really wants.

 

[enigma_julie]

Jason,

To be honest with you, I am a bit surprised that you turned to matchmaking websites and looking for a Russian/Ukranian girl at an age of 22! I think that is great but what exactly are you looking for? Stable relationships? Girl friend? Very curious to know.

[jasonbr]

i looked to that site because i've have had my fair share of american women and it never works out. I want to travel and it seems like a natural thing to want to meet women in other cultures. Plus the blue and green eyes drive me CRAZY! I don't want a gold digger, but i more than appreciate other cultures! I appreciate you guys for not eating me alive! I didn't want to insult anybody, but i didn't know any other way to pose my question. so in other words THANKS! for all your replies.

Anyways, what is it wrong for a successful 22 yr old guy to want a foreign girl?

Don't get me wrong i'm not planning in marrying anyone any time soon.... but i have more than the financial stability to travel abroad, and am more than interested in meeting a wonderful girl.

Thank you all again for your comments!

[al-c]

Just one more thing you should know, Jason, since you wrote that you are not looking for marriage yet:  Russians marry at a young age, much younger than the age we Americans look to marry, which probably explains a lot of the matches between 22 year old Russian women and 30 year old American men.

So you might find some disappointed Russian women who would learn you are not ready to marry.

 

[Rvrwind]

Jason...I would suggest if you are really serious & have the finacial ability to do so, to come over on a holiday. Meet some of the locals, soak up the culture & maybe date some ladies. Don't look for a wife but just do as you would back home. It would get your feet wet, so to speak & you would learn much more with your feet on the ground here than even this board can give you.

RW are an adventure for sure & the end result can be very pleasant but hooking up with the wrong one can be a nightmare as well. Testing the water is the best way to figure things out for yourself & to see what all the fuss is about.

JMHO

RVR-Canadian Cowboy/Agency Owner

[BC]

1.5 females to males?  someone is blowin smoke.  No good Russian men, again smoke.  Better than women in other parts of the world, lots of smoke.

Jason, remember most of the guys hanging around her are in their mid 40's ++ (including myself) and the justifications used for a hot young RW are quite 'left field' for your situation.

Travel, travel, travel and learn a bit about the world from your point-of-view and just enjoy yourself.  At your age the side effects of only chasin RW are probably worse than the benefits.  Widen your window a bit and try other countries as well.. My favorite southern Spain.

[TigerPaws]

Jason,

  Listen to Rvrwind, if you wan to experience what Russian ladies are like then do some traveling, get your pipes cleaned and by all means do some traveling.

 At 22 you should NOT even begin to think about getting married, NO man should ever get married before 35, enjoy life, see the world then you will have a better understanding of what you want, need and desire in a lady and a relationship.

[Turboguy]

I think you are getting some good advice Jason.  Listen to tigerpaws and rvrwind.   Get yourself a passport and plane ticket and a visa to Russia (or if you are going to Ukraine you don't need one) and go.   You can meet lots of gals in the discos there.  I have a feeling you won't want for female companionship and you will find a lot of pretty and hot looking gals that will teach you all about the life there. 

I agree with Tiger, you are too young to think about a serious commitment but when you are ready you will have the ins and outs of the gals there all figured out and they do have some really great gals there.

You can get a round trip ticket this time of year for about $ 700, maybe a bit more depending on where you are flying from,  You can find some afordable apartments for a week or two and there are lots of guys here that can tell you the hot spots.  You can meet a lot of gals just walking the streets.    As far as the agencys, there is a reason they call them marriage agencies and I hope you are upfront with the gals you meet.  Honesty always pays,  Well sometimes.   Heck, with your early start you might pass up Alberts record.

[catzenmouse]

Heck, with your early start you might pass up Alberts record.

Good one TG!  Maybe he needs a new avatar, something like a McDonalds sign. "Over 1500 Satisfied Customers"

Jasonbr,

 Truly listen to the advice to just go on a vacation and get your feet wet in the culture. While you are getting your plans together read, read, read about the country (or countries) you will visit, watch some Russian movies, learn some of the language and just enjoy all the opportunities that you have available to you.

Ken

[jasonbr]

yea, thanks for all the advice guys. I didn't even look at a marriage agency, i went to the free russian personals instead.... i don't think i'm misleading anyone. Yea, i have the $ to make the trip, and god knows i have the time. I just figured i might as well get to know a girl (or two) before i go.

Like i said, i just sent out a few e-mails to a few girls, and that one caught my eye. Probably because of how gorgeous she is and how good her english was. I don't see how i can get "taken to the cleaners" though. I'm not planning on marrying the chick anytime soon, or marrying anyone soon for that matter. Nor am i going to give her any money. Seems like i have nothing to lose in fact, and it would certainly weed out the girl if she's not genuine... it would take a long long time to scam me. Her time would be better spent elsewhere if she's not for real.

Anyways, thanks for all the advice! Keep it coming

[jasonbr]

ohhhhh, and don't get me wrong, it's not like i sit at home and try to pick up russian girls on the internet (ok, maybe a little), i still have a very active social life in this college town that a live in, i'm just broadening my options

[Turboguy]

Jason, you are at a good age to just enjoy life.  I have always thought it was better to try new things and see what works for you and what doesn't.  Unfortunately what I tried at your age was getting engaged and for me it didn't work but it took me 20 years to know that or at least to fix it. 

Follow everyones advice.   We can help you with working things out for your trip.  Write some gals and get a few lined up in advance.  I have a feeling you would do just fine without.   You will have fun at the disco's.  You would probably do just fine hanging out at Mickey D's  just asking the cute ones if they speak English and acting a little helpless about what to see and do in Moscow and saying you wish you had someone to show you around.

[al-c]

Jason, I don't blame you for not being into marriage at your age.  Who would be at 22?  I sure wasn't.

But these ladies are.  So rather than waste your time and hers with writing, why not just play the Russian singles game?  Go on a love tour.  Most agencies have them.  They will set you up with trips to discos and parties and other places to meet women and have a good time when you are there.

 

[BC]

Jason,

Stay away from agencies, stay away from romance tours and anything else related to MOB.

Just go anywhere and have a good time with the local population that is really representative of the country and see what develops.. 

Why bite into boxed apples known to have worms?  If you want a good shot at the best apples pick from the tree.

Would this be your first time travelling out of country?

[mischief]

Jason,

Stay away from agencies, stay away from romance tours and anything else related to MOB.

Just go anywhere and have a good time with the local population that is really representative of the country and see what develops.. 

Why bite into boxed apples known to have worms?  If you want a good shot at the best apples pick from the tree.

I second you on that...

 

Jason, since you're not planning to marry any time soon I would suggest to make it clear for the girls you are going to meet... to save them from disappointment...

I think it's a good way to go - to get to know some people prior your trip... you can use msn, Odigo or ICQ and Skype for this purpose too...

Just choose a destination ( St. Petersburg or Kiev is a good choice to start), find a good hotel ( this you can find out by chatting with local people online) and make friends with some local girls online... see if any one can meet you in the airport... the locals can take you in clubs and bars where you would have a wide variety of girls with blue-green eyes who speak English...

Once you choose the city/country ask here if anyone knows a trustworthy person there for you to go to in case something happens... I can help you with St' Petersburg and Minsk...

It's always exciting to travel, learn about cultures, meet new people... i wish i was single again..   Good luck..

[mischief]

Second, an interpreter gal is not the way to go.  These gals have quite a bit of experience in dealing with western guys since they interpret for marriage agencies.  They become quite jaded pretty quickly and pick up on all the ways to scam western men.  Such a gal will eat your lunch pretty quickly and take you to the cleaners . . . almost for sure.  You will not be any match for a good looking gal in this category . . . it won't even be a good contest.

 

albert, i worked as interpreter for few years and consider myself very good looking... what are you trying to say?

[jasonbr]

Because it's a free box of apples that's more accessible than the tree. If i get a bite with a worm i'll spit it out and keep eating. heh heh heh, i love metaphors.

anyways, no it's not my first time abroad.. i've traveled the all through greece and the area.

Why bite into boxed apples known to have worms?  If you want a good shot at the best apples pick from the tree.

Would this be your first time travelling out of country?

[Vaughn]

My memories are stirred by BC's suggestion of Spain - my stomping grounds when I was 22-23 years of age. I preferred the Costa Brava, particularly Palamos -  the discos & beaches were fully loaded with gorgeous French and Spanish-speaking women. Jason, at your tender age, I was constantly picking up languages - never limited myself to multi-lingual ladies. German, Spanish and Russian seemed to get me by in almost all situations. I used English only when I needed a trump card.

You've got the money and the time - don't delay another year, those conditions usually change. I fully agree with the advice to stay away from tours and agencies; rather than those, try rubbing shoulders with university students, stay in a hostel or two. Definitely consider a longer stay with a rail pass and do Europe. Don't discount cities like Copenhagen, Amsterdam, Berlin. Ask BC about Italy - my family used to visit Riccione annually, and Zell-am-see in the Austrian Alps. Good guns, Jason, there are beautiful girls and trails to blaze everywhere - why Russia?

Vaughn

[Bruno]

[color="blue"][size="4"][/size][/color][color="#0000ff"][size="4"] At 22 you should NOT even begin to think about getting married, NO man should ever get married before 35, enjoy life, see the world then you will have a better understanding of what you want, need and desire in a lady and a relationship.[/size][/color]

Yes, follow these advice... i have make the same myself... only begin wish build a family when i was 30 year old...


Great idea... i have enjoy a lot of sexy young babe when i was young... and when i have wish marry a local girl, all i have find was that the good one was already married... stay only the fat one, these already divorced with a lot of child, these who suck your money...


So, follow these advice and all you will have will be what the other don't wish... why do you think that several of us are "old" bachelor and seek actively foreign women... because we are old and alone...


You are young, financial secure and seek in all the world... you are able to have a 12/10 women if you choose a foreign one... hunt now, not tomorrow... take the best for you and keep the craps for the other old guys...

[Turboguy]

I have to think that is good advice Bruno.  I always wished I had waited longer to get married.  I got married at 23 to a gal I had dated since I was 19 which meant I lost some prime years that I could have had a good time.   The gals I would have met in America when I was in my 30's would have either been ok but the second time around with a kid or two from their first marriage or not much in the way of a good choice.   I have watched my son try to find a good woman in his 30's and he sure has not had much luck.  My son has just developed an interest in Russian woman which to me might be his best shot at a good woman.

If Jason wants to find a keeper when he is in his 30's his best shot might be the FSU women but I have to wonder if that situation will be what it is today.  I will be surprised if it is.


By the way, I am one of the old guys so you can have all the 12's on a 10 scale and send me a few of the 7's and 8's   That is still 3 points better than I could find in America if I had hunted at that age.
 

[bwaaderant]

Here's my two cents.  I traveled the world when I was in my 20's, and sampled the wares in many countries so to speak.  I got married when I was 36 to an American woman.  That marriage lasted 4 months!  We had dated for a year, and live together for another year before we got married.  No warning signs or omens that she wouldn't be able to keep her pants on for other men, or that she had a blazing temper and a tendency to physical violence.

A year or so after our split I begin dating again.  Every single woman I dated, every single one, turned out to be married!!  And this wasn't one or two women, it was five!  Am I naive??  No, not at all, American women have learned the tricks of men in hiding things.  So, needless to say I soured on American women and have lost pretty much all sympathy for them.  I've seen the men they want, the men they pursue, the men they think they can change.  I want no part of it!

One day at a friends house a neighbor came over, we were having a small BBQ.  A bit later his wife came over.  My world changed from that one short meeting.  She was Russian, a "mail order bride".  He was probably late 40's, early 50's.  She was probably late 20's.  Not only an absolutely gorgeous woman, but she was funny, very intelligent, seemed to be a genuinely warm person, and absolutely loved her hubby to death.  Well, I went home and got on the internet.  I looked through many marriage agency websites, read, researched, pondered, and then jumped in the water.  I joined a website which I found to be very credible and honest, started writing a few women and after a month or so one woman began to rise head and shoulders above the others.  So I concentrated on her.

I visited her in August, 2005 and again in January 2006, right in the middle of the -25/-30 degree weather they were having.  South Cal to the Ural mountains?  lol  We will be married, hopefully, this year.  Like the other Russian woman I had met here, she is beautiful, intelligent, witty, and incredibly sexy.  A breath of fresh air to say the least after my run-ins with American women.

As for her reasons for seeking an American man, one 14 years older than she is?  Is precisely the reasons posted other places.  The Russian men are abusive, alcoholics, absent fathers, don't want to be bothered with caring for a family, and not to keen on keeping a job.  Not that there aren'e exceptions!  But I observed this first hand during my visits.  With the women to men ratio in Russia the men have the pick of the litter, and don't have to treat them well at all.

Anyway, this turned out far longer than I meant for it to be.  Enjoy your youth!  But waiting until you are older to marry isn't always the best advice.  One of the best marriages I know is the marriage of my neice and her hubby.  They got married when they were 18, yes, I know, they are probably exceptions to the rule, just as my marriage was.  I guess what I'm saying is that if you find the perfect one, keep her, whether she is Russian or American.  But odds are that you are more likely to find that perfect one somewhere other than here at home, unless you are very, very lucky.  Sad to say.