Frequency of correspondence

[Gator]

Let me explain something very simple. You have been dating and/or trying to date the wrong women.

I agree with Ade.  Either that or you have been reading too many "How to Conquer Women" books.   


Seriously, if you believe in posturing yourself before women (what I call "games"), you may want to read TwoBitBandit's trip report:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=11863.0

Dating RW involves both a language barrier and cultural differences, and a generation gap in some cases  .   Thus, there are too many ways for misunderstandings to develop.  By playing games too, it  increases the risk for misunderstandings.  Why do that?

If you write, and the RW answers, it is time for you to write again, especially if she asks a question.  It is that simple.   Let her control the pace because  many of these RW have long days and not a lot of time for correspondence.     

Also, RW tend to be direct.  So you should be direct.   
 
In 2002 I corresponded frequently although nowhere as much as Ade.  He was writing one woman and I several.  I tended to call a lot.  If a woman gives you her phone number, cherish it.

Good luck!

[OlgaH]

Bottom line: we're strangers until we meet in reality and there is a sort of depersonalization process that goes on in all this correspondence stage

and there are also cases when people were meeting in reality not only for months but for years and divorced after a couple of years and even a few months. 

It's very dangerous to become emotionally invested, so there is a sort of glaciation that goes on for the people who have been burned in the past.

yes, it is dangerous and people get burned when their emotions are based on their imagination about each other rather than their knowledge about each other, emotions without rationalization hurt pretty bad.

Personally, I see a benefit in online dating that gives a possibility to concentrate on the conversation and thoughts without being influenced by physical presence of a partner.

[noelscot]

This sounds like straight out of those pick up artist manuals    I never was into those games. If I said that I was going to call Friday, I would call Friday. The activities that I proposed were activities that I hoped would be enjoyable for both of us.

If I promise to do something, I do it. But my OP has been a bit misinterpreted. The hypothetical was a local lady gives me her number and asks me to call her Friday. I won't call her because I want her to think I am in demand, even if I'm not. I never promised to call her. People on here don't like games, but it is timeless--anticipation, excitement, unpredictability.  When dating goes into a relationship, that's when I would not play games and don't want to do a lot of high school stuff.

[noelscot]

I agree with Ade.  Either that or you have been reading too many "How to Conquer Women" books.   


Seriously, if you believe in posturing yourself before women (what I call "games"), you may want to read TwoBitBandit's trip report:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=11863.0

Dating RW involves both a language barrier and cultural differences, and a generation gap in some cases  .   Thus, there are too many ways for misunderstandings to develop.  By playing games too, it  increases the risk for misunderstandings.  Why do that?

If you write, and the RW answers, it is time for you to write again, especially if she asks a question.  It is that simple.   Let her control the pace because  many of these RW have long days and not a lot of time for correspondence.     

Also, RW tend to be direct.  So you should be direct.   
 
In 2002 I corresponded frequently although nowhere as much as Ade.  He was writing one woman and I several.  I tended to call a lot.  If a woman gives you her phone number, cherish it.

Good luck!

You're the one who loaned me the books, Gator. You've created a monster!
 
Seriously, though, I've become painfully aware of all of the pitfalls of treating a RW like an AW through real world predicaments and online/phone/etc. stuff. I'll try to do you all proud and not cause an international incident when I visit Ukraine.  

[Misha]

People on here don't like games, but it is timeless--anticipation, excitement, unpredictability.  When dating goes into a relationship, that's when I would not play games and don't want to do a lot of high school stuff.

IMHO, a woman is either into you or she isn't within the first few seconds. If she is into you, then there is no need to go overboard in creating "unpredictability" and even more so with RW.

[noelscot]

Personally, I see a benefit in online dating that gives a possibility to concentrate on the conversation and thoughts without being influenced by physical presence of a partner.

I can imagine it now. A guy spends oodles of time getting to know a woman, travels the globe to meet her, spends untold amounts of money, then she decides she is not physically attracted to him and says, "Let's just be friends." I agree with your statement, though. A lot can be learned about a person through the correspondence stage, if both parties are honest.

[Misha]

I can imagine it now. A guy spends oodles of time getting to know a woman, travels the globe to meet her, spends untold amounts of money, then she decides she is not physically attracted to him and says, "Let's just be friends."

Would you prefer that she pretend to be physically attracted to you, marry you, then in two years she gives you the "let's be friends" spiel?

[Gator]

With Skype one can get a resonable feel for physical attraction as well as chemistry.  Nevertheless, nothing replaces a real meeting.  And indeed high expectations can crash quickly.

[noelscot]

Would you prefer that she pretend to be physically attracted to you, marry you, then in two years she gives you the "let's be friends" spiel?

I'm a big boy and have already mentally prepared myself for every scenario possible from just weird to wildly pessimistic. Like the scenario where she slips a mickey in my horilka, then I wake up in a tub of ice with a kidney missing; and very kindly, she and her organ-heisting pal Boris have left a fully charged, pre-paid mobile within reach for me to call bahleenitsa. But I make sure to not call bahleenitsa right away, because I would not want them to think I am needy. lol I reckon if I could get a sandwich made for me every once in a while, your scenario is not so bad, huh?

[OlgaH]

A lot can be learned about a person through the correspondence stage, if both parties are honest.

Yes, totally agree both parties have to be honest. I did sent my husband before our meeting very casual photos as "Here I'm. I just woke up, with no make up and with my tousled hair ... "  My husband also sent me his casual photos.

It was winter. When I met him at the airport after waiting for his flight for several hours after my 4 hours flight, we hugged and  kissed each other. After we got a taxi and went to the train station for Saint Petersburg. There we spent another several hours waiting for our night train. We put our suitcases and coats on the upper sleeping berth and both dropped our tired bodies on the free lower berth... laying together sweaty, stinky, tousled... 

[ML]

We put our suitcases and coats on the upper sleeping berth and both dropped our tired bodies on the free lower berth... laying together sweaty, stinky, tousled... 

He was rather easy to seduce.  I would have played more 'hard to get.'   

[OlgaH]

He was rather easy to seduce.  I would have played more 'hard to get.'   

  Nothing about seducing... just life

[TheTraveler]

Personally, I see a benefit in online dating that gives a possibility to concentrate on the conversation and thoughts without being influenced by physical presence of a partner.

a lot of wisdom in that statement. well said!

[JR]

no matter how much you eat - you always want more... 

Isn't that called an eating disorder?

[ghost of moon goddess]

Isn't that called an eating disorder?

It is called an insatiable appetite of a woman for getting to know more about a man, unless AW are involved   

[GQBlues]

noelscott-
 
Here's a pretty overview into this. If you group men into any number of sets according to their social proficiency/tendencies, experiences, e.g. from players to introverts to 40 year old virgins...then ask each one the question you're asking here - do you honestly believe you'll get a universal, simplified answer?
 
What this all boils down to is what makes YOU tick? Where in those subsets of men do you most define with? What did you learn through your experiences? What were the ones that yielded positive/negative results for YOU.
 
If you start dating based on what you were told by men whose social/dating experiences are largely absent with you despite what your experiences had defined for you, then it's your dime and time.
 
You do not know the extent of people's social experiences here. Chances are great that even if they shared the same commonality that they each had dated/married women in the MOB, it won't necessarily give a simplified answer you sought, and likely and more importantly, it may not necessarily be tailored for your own.
 
Don't abandon your wits and instincts. They are there for a reason.

[Patagonie]

He was rather easy to seduce.  I would have played more 'hard to get.'   

 

[Gator]

Don't abandon your wits and instincts. They are there for a reason.

Valid.  How well has his "game" succeeded  in America? 

I just don't understand the usefulness of purposefully delaying to call someone who asked him to call.  Yes, it might create some angst in her which would be relieved when he does eventually call, yet will this ploy technique convince her anymore after a few days of meeting that he is the ideal man for her?   

Maybe this is just one of a series of planned  steps  needed to posture oneself in a favorable frame, creating an opportuned advantage.  Anyone with sales training knows of various techniques for generating and closing a sale, eg., packagaing your product as a concept rather than a brand.   Yet, most of these techiques must be adjusted dependent upon the personality and needs of the buyer.   In this case, I assert Noelscot does not know the buyer.

[GQBlues]

...In this case, I assert Noelscot does not know the buyer.

If a product is sound and proven, then marketability or scheme should be of relative little concern. Good products attract buyers, not the other way around.
 
Bad/questionable products but equipped with shiny marketing scheme, have very little rate of success. Any temporary appearance of success have a potential to face an immediate case of buyers' remorse, or worst, legal consequences.
 
Start with a good product. The product will stand for itself and buyers will subscribe according to its terms - not the buyer. So spend the time and effort to improve your product, not on marketing a bad one.

You don't have a good product to sell, buyers (AW) aren't having any of it. You can go elsewhere and market a bad product, just make certain that buyer (RW) never become aware of other comparably 'better' products around in your market area. You will be sure to lose her...

Lastly and most importantly, a good product promotes 'buyer' satisfaction, trust, and loyalty.

So categorically, if FSUWs are buyer, then 'Buyer Beware'.

[noelscot]

Valid.  How well has his "game" succeeded  in America? 

I just don't understand the usefulness of purposefully delaying to call someone who asked him to call.  Yes, it might create some angst in her which would be relieved when he does eventually call, yet will this ploy technique convince her anymore after a few days of meeting that he is the ideal man for her?   

Maybe this is just one of a series of planned  steps  needed to posture oneself in a favorable frame, creating an opportuned advantage.  Anyone with sales training knows of various techniques for generating and closing a sale, eg., packagaing your product as a concept rather than a brand.   Yet, most of these techiques must be adjusted dependent upon the personality and needs of the buyer.   In this case, I assert Noelscot does not know the buyer.

I'm no Hugh Hefner, but I've done okay for myself in the states. But, for better or for worse, I have developed a thing for foreign white women--especially RW (I blame Maria Sharapova). But if RW are a "buyer," as you say, how are they fundamentally different from AW?  Never in my life have I used computers to date women until I got into all of this MOB stuff.


My philosophy has always been that water seeks its own level. Not all people are equal. I know my capabilities, so I work within those parameters. If I don't work against nature, I'm okay. I'm simply inquiring about whether it pisses off the women if communication is spotty or if their communicating infrequently means they don't like a guy. Because in real life, spotty communication can mean lots of things, but the consensus of the women here is that they want to communicate frequently if they like a guy.   


Maybe there is some confusion that I'm one of these delusional yahoos who thinks he is going to land a smokinghotkova, but could never land one over here? Nope. I'm happy with a girl on my level.

[Chicagoguy]

Well, noelscot, I think you nailed it.

[noelscot]

If a product is sound and proven, then marketability or scheme should be of relative little concern. Good products attract buyers, not the other way around.
 
Bad/questionable products but equipped with shiny marketing scheme, have very little rate of success. Any temporary appearance of success have a potential to face an immediate case of buyers' remorse, or worst, legal consequences.
 
Start with a good product. The product will stand for itself and buyers will subscribe according to its terms - not the buyer. So spend the time and effort to improve your product, not on marketing a bad one.

You don't have a good product to sell, buyers (AW) aren't having any of it. You can go elsewhere and market a bad product, just make certain that buyer (RW) never become aware of other comparably 'better' products around in your market area. You will be sure to lose her...

Lastly and most importantly, a good product promotes 'buyer' satisfaction, trust, and loyalty.

So categorically, if FSUWs are buyer, then 'Buyer Beware'.

Y'all make courtship sound like some sort of shady business deal, and I'm just a jive-talking huckster. lol. I'm not selling Bibles door-to-door here, guys.

[Patagonie]

If a product is sound and proven, then marketability or scheme should be of relative little concern. Good products attract buyers, not the other way around.
 
Bad/questionable products but equipped with shiny marketing scheme, have very little rate of success. Any temporary appearance of success have a potential to face an immediate case of buyers' remorse, or worst, legal consequences.
 
Start with a good product. The product will stand for itself and buyers will subscribe according to its terms - not the buyer. So spend the time and effort to improve your product, not on marketing a bad one.

You don't have a good product to sell, buyers (AW) aren't having any of it. You can go elsewhere and market a bad product, just make certain that buyer (RW) never become aware of other comparably 'better' products around in your market area. You will be sure to lose her...

Lastly and most importantly, a good product promotes 'buyer' satisfaction, trust, and loyalty.

So categorically, if FSUWs are buyer, then 'Buyer Beware'.

You can be a good product and not find a buyer because anybody see you and because the package is bad and the advertising is not good. A lot of bad products have also been sold because of good advertising.

Unknown good product stay good product but .... unknow

The purpose to complete a gamer life is to :

Improve yourself, so to be a better product and standout from the crowd.


Show yourself at the top of what you are (if you are not, the girl will know, sooner or later. Ssuperficial, fake men, empty personalities have no reality in such course because childish games are not a reply to a woman request). WE SPEAK HERE ABOUT AW

And try to do it at each step (the most difficult), wich means :

Meeting 1
Be good during the opener
Be good during the initial fluff (don't stall).
Be good with your body language.
Perform well when you get her phone number

Phone game, phone call 1
Don't call her too early, YES this is true, statistically, field tested, if you call too early you loose the woman at this stage. It's why there are some rules. AW WOMEN RULES. We name it phone games rules, and i have lost few dates at this stage before understanding how it works (and it works, the game improves your score tremendously in each stage, let's hope you that you don't bungle a stage) .

All the process be fun, be  sexual (which is not talking sex, joke sex....)

Phone game 2....
Meeting 2.....

etc etc ....

About FSU women, every guys who used to date in US and Europe and who has improved to be more attractive (named player, gamer, as you want, the fact is : these guys have hardly worked to improve their attrativeness) MUST take care about the FSU dating.
They must make big adjustements, in particular, with the traditionnal "i'm the bet, i am the prize".
Their demeanor are different (it's why we like them )  and the main difference is in ego.

[SMS60]

It was winter. When I met him at the airport after waiting for his flight for several hours after my 4 hours flight, we hugged and  kissed each other. After we got a taxi and went to the train station for Saint Petersburg. There we spent another several hours waiting for our night train. We put our suitcases and coats on the upper sleeping berth and both dropped our tired bodies on the free lower berth... laying together sweaty, stinky, tousled... 

Olga, do you write to the Penthouse letters department?

[GQBlues]

....Improve yourself, so to be a better product and standout from the crowd.....

Thank you so much Patagonie! After all these years, and in reading your instruction, I now I feel I can finally charm women!