Divorced RW experience of dating in the US.

[LAman]

What is the point of sending winks to each other if it can't go to a next level?

The point I was making is many men there are not there to take it to the next level....use only the freebies and see what happens without full and sincere intentions..

[Darth_Budda]

IMHO,,, Marriage in the USA is going down hill fast, It's just something most people don't plan on doing anymore...

With the divorce rate being so high I wounder if it is even worth it my self..
One divorce for me is almost enough to make me think twice about trying it again.

Will i get married again? some day. But it is best to not be in a hurry.
Find some one who can be your best friend first, it's easy when things are good.
But it's the hard times that really bring people together.

Marriage is just a legal thing for tax or immigration reasons. Unless your super religious, but if that was the case you would still be married.
But since your already here don't worry about it. Make friends have fun.

[vwrw]

I wouldn't be so certain about that. Let's image the 40-year-old, recently divorced who dated a handful of women before getting married. They may be as clueless when it comes to dating as the shy 17-year-old IMHO 

Married people do not live in vacuum. They watch TV, converse with  friends and engage in other activities that provide them with information on various topics, including dating. For example, I have never dated in America, but i far from being clueless about it because of all the info that my mind has collected from conversations and documentaries.


Sure, there are guys that are apathetic to everything except their immediate needs and concerns, and they might be clueless on many subjects. However, these guys would unlikely  attract Vasilisa in the first place because she is looking for a guy with many interests and who is well-rounded. Therefore, we can disregard apathetic guys.

[vwrw]

I am confused. Have you actually gone out on dates with men from the site? From what I understood, you were ruling out all the men writing to you before going out on a first date. Before giving a man a second chance, you have to give him a first chance 

A man has his first chance or try when she looks at his profile and reads it. This is the first point of contact.

[vwrw]

Marriage is just a legal thing for tax or immigration reasons. Unless your super religious, but if that was the case you would still be married.
But since your already here don't worry about it. Make friends have fun.

The lady wands to have babies. This is a substantial reason to seek a marriage.

[GQBlues]

The lady wands to have babies. This is a substantial reason to seek a marriage.

In the US, a lot of women have kids just to get welfare and food stamps...additionally, there are also millions of them born from single mothers to be an anchor babies.
 
I kid you not.

[vwrw]

I do not buy the explanation that many of  the high income guys that have attracted Vasilisa on the match do not respond to her because they are not subscribers and thus they cannot respond to her messages. There are too many gorgeous women on the Match and subscription fee is next to nothing. So i do not think those guys are waiting for the one arrive to the match to justify their buying of the subscription.


 Vasilisa, I advise you to ask Gator to review your profile. He has an excellent taste when it comes to physical attributes of women, and he is a good representative of the kind of men that you are looking for. Therefore, his insights on how you can make yourself more appealing for the  men similar to him can be very valuable for you. He is a bit older than 40, but i am certain that would not hinder the quality on his recommendations.

[vwrw]

In the US, a lot of women have kids just to get welfare and food stamps...additionally, there are also millions of them born from single mothers to be an anchor babies.
 
I kid you not.

Yes, there are women fitting your description, but that is NOT Vasilisa's dream. She wants a guy who would cause her admiration, to be in a committed and legitimate relationship with her, and to have babies with her. 


I am strongly convinced that her desire to find an intelligent guy who would be a good role model for their future children is commendable one.

[JohnDearGreen]

A man has his first chance or try when she looks at his profile and reads it. This is the first point of contact.

And when in Rome, do as da Romans do.  The 150k men don't want a lady who is looking for 150k men.  So get da right look on your profile pic.  This is what da Texas men are looking for (even the 150k guys):

[Vasilisa]

And when in Rome, do as da Romans do.  The 150k men don't want a lady who is looking for 150k men.  So get da right look on your profile pic.  This is what da Texas men are looking for (even the 150k guys):

I look better and don't wear this type of shirts

[vwrw]

The 150k men don't want a lady who is looking for 150k men. 

She does NOT look for 150k men. She looks for the educated men who have interests similar to hers. So happens that they are mostly men with high income. She feels awkward about it and is unsure what course of behavior to choose. On one hand, she does not feel she would feel equal to a man who possesses both  high income and much education . On the other hand, she does not want to alter her criteria for the right one because only an educated men with interests similar to hers really turn her on.

[Vasilisa]

I am confused. Have you actually gone out on dates with men from the site? From what I understood, you were ruling out all the men writing to you before going out on a first date. Before giving a man a second chance, you have to give him a first chance 

On that website I haven't seen any men who were interested in me the way I'd like to go on a date with them. I'd like to get a letter where I would see a lot of interest in me and not something like you can write to everyone or "I'd like to know your better, let's chat sometimes" or a comment "I really love this picture, you look beautiful", I mentioned a lot of things in my profile that you can comment on , where is all that interest I'd like to get?!
Well, yesterday I changed my profile and got 5 times more letters (don't ask me what I wrote), so I am going on a date on Monday, but I don't have a lot of enthusiasm about that. What worries me is that my profile is full of jokes, and that's not what I am all the time. Right now I am afraid that people will just see me as the girl who is fun to be with and I am actually pretty serious and quiet (at least till I drink a couple of glasses of vodka).

[Vasilisa]

She does NOT look for 150k men. She looks for the educated men who have interests similar to hers. So happens that they are mostly men with high income.

Exactly. I really like what some of these men write in their profiles, they seem to be very sure in themselves and they don't try to impress. I've met such people before and I have noticed that I mainly like the qualities that make some of these people successful, not the result of being successful, though it's a bonus.

[Gator]

Vasilisa, I advise you to ask Gator to review your profile......He is a bit older than 40, but i am certain that would not hinder the quality on his recommendations.

 
 
A new standard for understating facts.  Ray and I need to find coupons to the Scooter Store.
 
Vasilisa  impresses me as a woman who had a bad marriage and does not want to enter that river again.   Many people make the mistake of remarrying someone very similar to their first mistake.  Her marriage has enlightened her about the type of man  who will make life fun, interesting and stable.   She knows what she wants and will not settle for less.     Why should she? 
 
BTW, I doubt that her mandatory criteria include  BIG MONEY or handsome looks.
 
She has time.  I trust she is enjoying a social life now as I consider that the best source for meeting Mr. Right.  One day he will show up at a party she's attending through a friend of a friend of a friend.  Or she meets him at a Club Med vacation.   Or he has a seat next to her at a ball game   Or their paths cross at work   Or while waiting at a car repair shop.  Or perhaps their Internet profiles connect. 

Vasilisa just needs to stay active, keep her antennae up, accept that romance is not a fast-track straight-line process, take some chances, and after striking out or kissing a frog be eager to try again.

[Gator]

I have noticed that I mainly like the qualities that make some of these people successful, not the result of being successful, though it's a bonus.

Girl, you understand it.  Many men derive their money from being a big jerk.  And then some achieve success by being intelligent,  motivated, and determined yet still a nice person to be around.    The latter make better husbands and fathers.   

[Gator]

Well, yesterday I changed my profile and got 5 times more letters (don't ask me what I wrote), so I am going on a date on Monday, but I don't have a lot of enthusiasm about that. What worries me is that my profile is full of jokes, and that's not what I am all the time. Right now I am afraid that people will just see me as the girl who is fun to be with and I am actually pretty serious and quiet (at least till I drink a couple of glasses of vodka).

Don't even try to joke or drink a lot of vodka.   Just say up front that you appreciate jokes yet deep inside you are serious about life.   
 
Good luck with your date.  Be enthusiastic.  I hope you have been having other dates or at least going out with your women friends.
 

[vwrw]

 
 
A new standard for understating facts.  Ray and I need to find coupons to the Scooter Store.
 

Come on Gator, according to the new standard, 70s are old 50s…It is still too early to relegate yourself to the group of Scooter owners.   

[vwrw]

I've met such people before and I have noticed that I mainly like the qualities that make some of these people successful, not the result of being successful, though it's a bonus.

I like how Lily once expressed the same idea. Women and money are attracted  to the same qualities in men.

[Gator]

Will i get married again? some day. But it is best to not be in a hurry......
Marriage is just a legal thing for tax or immigration reasons.

Marriage is a statement about commitment to a life together.    You have a choice:  be a spectator to life or live it. 

[Gator]

Come on Gator, according to the new standard, 70s are old 50s…It is still too early to relegate yourself to the group of Scooter owners.

Of course I am joking.  I stay very active, willing to attempt almost anything, just not as able as in the past.

[Misha]

Married people do not live in vacuum. They watch TV, converse with  friends and engage in other activities that provide them with information on various topics, including dating.

The last place I would want to learn about dating is on tv 

[Misha]

I mentioned a lot of things in my profile that you can comment on

How many men will read that carefully a profile? Right or wrong, I wager most will look at the photos, scan to see if there is anything that would disqualify a woman and then send her a message....

[TexasLoneStar]

To the OP what city in Texas do you live in?  Maybe I can help you out.

With your age at 38 your not going to get anywhere on match.com... Stop wasting your time.  You need face to face contact.  The type of man you seek does not hang out on match.    If you were younger or did not want children than match is good.

I have several suggestions but depends on where you live in Texas - hopefully it is Dallas or Houston.

Regarding everybody being a red neck in Texas - not true.  Regarding people always wearing jeans not true.  Check out the Woodlands some time.  Many RW who divorced their first AM go for their second husband in the Woodlands.  Woodlands is the largest concentration (#) of doctors in the World.  The #1 profession in Houston area is medical not energy.   Plastic surgery was invented in Houston not California.

You want a good catch in Texas you better dress up and get in shape physically and mentally.  Not trying to be mean but your racing age right now.  At 38 and wanting children and a high end man.  You better be in the best shape of your life. 

[Vasilisa]

To the OP what city in Texas do you live in?  Maybe I can help you out.

With your age at 38 your not going to get anywhere

Who is 38?
I dress well most of the time, people never complain. I am in a good shape also, visit a gym 2-3 times a week.

[Vasilisa]

How many men will read that carefully a profile?

I read the profiles carefully. I am looking for the one who would fall in love with my eyes and want to read the profile.

PS: I am also having a date  tomorrow.