Divorced RW experience of dating in the US.

[olgac]

Olga, as a side note, my criteria were:
5' 6" to 5' 11"
At least bachelors degree (or first Diploma in FSU system).
Able to converse in English with never an interpreter required.
Working in professional job (but not as a hooker !).
Slender but not skinny or emancipated looking.  Let's say 8+ for body.
Above average looking in face   6+ or so.  In fact I wouldn't go for 9 or 10.
High interest in cultural events, music, ballet, museums, history, science, etc.
No children under age 16 and parents who didn't need support.
Age 35 to 50.
Complete non-smoker.
Light or non-drinker.
Adaptable to living in country side, small city or medium city, but comfortable with trips to huge cities.
Shows care in money I was spending . . . cautions me that something is too expensive or that we don't need it.
Never asked for any money or gifts and refused outright cash to help with her expenses.
Maybe some others that I can't think of right now.

I had first full dates (not just tea and cake) with around 150 FSU women over several month-long trips.

This is a really good set of requirements! No wonder You did so well!

[olgac]

The man must have a wife that is better looking than himself.

Very true! Though it depends on a man of course If the man is not very successful he has to make up for it in looks, but usually women don't want a boy toy

[olgac]

a woman's appearance is her main selling point
a man's earning potential is his main selling point

everything follows the rules of commerce and supply/demand
and determines what your exchange rate is in the market

Exactly!

[ML]

See . . . as I noted earlier . . .

Olga has perfect attitudes to be a perfect wife.

However, she is taken and most of us here are also taken.

Olga, you could be an excellent coach for other women looking for a man . . . if they will take your advices.

[ML]

1) A woman's appearance is her main selling point
2) A man's earning potential is his main selling point

This has been true since the beginning of mankind.

But many (most) women are replused when the man seeks a slender, pretty in the face, younger, woman.

They will say . . . you (the man) don't have those qualities, so you shouldn't require it of the woman either.

The USA and many other countries are filled with overweight women who complain about not finding a man. 

Well duh . . . study social-cultural anthropology.  This is not a new requirement (slender, pretty, even younger) that men seek.

However they will readily agree with number 2.

[olgac]

See . . . as I noted earlier . . .

Olga has perfect attitudes to be a perfect wife.

However, she is taken and most of us here are also taken.

Olga, you could be an excellent coach for other women looking for a man . . . if they will take your advices.

Why thank You
I am trying to be a coach but unfortunately my young friend is constantly sending me some extremely dumb reels and videos by Russian instagram influencers on what to look in a man. They are all about how a woman gives a man her "female energy" and doesn't even have to cook or clean and a REAL man needs to take responsibility and treat her and spoil  like a child.
I always ask what's in it for him? And the response is that he needs to do out out of love.
The funny part is that these videos have lots of Russian men commenting how stupid this is and some even saying that they won't take responsibility for something they don't own, and there is no responsibility without power. But in response the RW in comments say they are just stingy and not REAL men.

I will try to find some of these videos she sent me Maybe You guys can show your wives and see what they say

[olgac]

OK OK I actually found the video my friend recently sent, she sends such videos all the time:
http://www.facebook.com/share/r/CUU6bgDd9PJ9ZmL8/

I might translate it for you guys later.

But basically it's a woman talking to a guy about how she doesn't feel safe and secure if they share the expenses and how him taking care of her financially would allow her to feel like a woman and cultivate a woman n herself.

My response to her was:
Как то она туманно говорит 😂а что именно значит раскрываться как женщина? Секси одеваться? Детей рожать? Вкусно готовить? Убирать стирать и делать дом красивым? Что она дает в отношениях как женщина? Если все выше то да традиционный мужчина согласится но он скорее всего не будет молодым, красивым и высоким

which translates to "She is being vary vague. What does it mean exactly to cultivate a woman in herself? Dress sexy? Raise children? Cook nice means, clean and decorate the house? What does she give in a relationship as a woman? If all the above then yes a traditional guy would agree. He might be older and not as good looking as the young guy in a video.

< my friend doensn't cook or clean very well, I am trying to teach her some cooking, also to be diplomatic and feminine in a relationship>

Also I quoted my favorite comments under the video:

1. Men who want a traditional woman often aren't ready to be a traditional man, and vice versa
2. This all sounds great but look at the statistics how many men are actually capable to be sole provider? And how old are these men? And are they actually attractive?

[krimster2]

"Olchic"
tell yur friend....
that what she wants to do is come to the USA, and ask for political asylum....things are "different" now just show up, and fill out the application, just like the Mexicans do!!!!
America has a BIG White People shortage, so just come here, and tell yur story of persecution, and they'll let you in

claim her home country is persecuting her for "religion" cause she belongs to some "western" church like Baptist or Methodist, for example
she has 3 years here, while her case is reviewed
more than enough time to rope some unsuspecting American into sponsoring her., er I mean find "true love"..

Americans are the most naive people a Russian could ever meet
easy as hell to fool them, just ask Donald Trump, he's been doing it for like "forever"

and American men, sure as hell DO NOT want to deal with American women
a "win-win" situation

average Russian woman, can pinpoint a man's income percentile within 5 seconds of seeing him
WTF more do you need...

where I live in Texas
on Sunday, go to a church in the richest neighborhood in Houston,
and it will be filled with old white men in the oil busines
who would love to get their greasy hands on a young Russian girl

what could be easier than hunting in the lion's own territory

use yur gullivar instead of "you know what"
learn to think outside the box you put yourself in

[olgac]

Oh she has a green card. She won it in a lottery 2 years ago and she is already in US working as QA making good money

[olgac]

where I live in Texas
on Sunday, go to a church in the richest neighborhood in Houston,
and it will be filled with old white men in the oil busines
who would love to get their greasy hands on a young Russian girl

what could be easier than hunting in the lion's own territory

yes as I said she is already in US legally through green card lottery, BUT she wants a man not much older than her LOL

[krimster2]

shto eta problemya?

if a Russian woman IS NOT getting "any action" in the USA, there has to be a reson for it...

when my wife first came here, she literally stopped traffic....
I could be replaced in 30 seconds

so I'm guessing leprousy, or somethin, cuz normslly American geeks would be on a Russian girl, like flies on "kakashka"

so what's wrong with her, missing limbs, or something...

oh...
I see...

she doesn't want an OLD rich man....

and she hasn't figured out yet that millenials and Gen Z are always going to be poor in the USA
but in 10 more years, she'll change her mind, but by then it will be too late
she'll already be a single "cat lady"
and the boomers will already have their trophy russian wives

you're right, there is a problem....
i've met A HUGE NUMBER of women like your friend,
whatever poor son of a bitch she ends up marrying, will have his life destroyed by her
but...
hoever, most men can sense this, and they RUN LIKE HELL!!!
she just needs to find one who is not so observant
what we here in America call "a schmuck"

[olgac]

She does get a lot of interest on dating site and in real life.
She is good looking, blue eyed and slender.
But she always finds some problems with the guys interested in her.
First of all she has filters set to be at least 6 feet tall, white, professional and she prefers within 5 years age difference, but might look at 8 years if he is not bald and is good looking.
Also she doesn't want anyone who can't support her (even though she has a good job but feels safer when a man supports her financially.
Her recent boyfriend wanted to split costs for vacations and that was a big turn off.
And also she doesn't want an overweight or bald man and no man making less than 150K
so that's the problem

[olgac]

oh...
I see...

she doesn't want an OLD rich man....

and she hasn't figured out yet that millenials and Gen Z are always going to be poor in the USA
but in 10 more years, she'll change her mind, but by then it will be too late
she'll already be a single "cat lady"
and the boomers will already have their trophy russian wives

dobre den!!!

Yes my point exactly
And she does want children, so...

I am friends with many russian women who married AM in late 90s early 2000s. Most of them got divorced and then re-married.
Many remarried in their late 30s and 40s with no problems.
In my experience as long as a woman keeps her figure and takes care of her skin even in 40s she can find a guy especially if she is already a US Citizen. So I think You are exxagerating about old cat lady. BUT if she wants children, she can't wait till she is 40

We had a RW forum, many of us had kids at the same time, we remained friends, recently 13 of us went on a cruise on that cruise only 3 women including myself were still married to the same guy! I also meet RW/UW in real life who recognize me from that forum and they usually mention that they are no longer with the same guy. But there ARE some happy marriages.

Also wanted to add that these women had most serious intentions when they first married, most had kids with their first american husbands but still divorced after several years. I think it's very hard from abroad to realize who is who in US. And in some cases it was an american guy who divorced them, like a very good friend of mine is very LOUD Her american husband though she was very shy and demure This was because she didn't speak English. Within 2 years he wanted out, she had to beg him to apply for adjustment of status.

[ML]

Olga, one of our members married a woman from Belarus a few years back.  They live in the state of Washington.

His handle is:  Hammer2722

[olgac]

Olga, one of our members married a woman from Belarus a few years back.  They live in the state of Washington.

His handle is:  Hammer2722

Oh cool! I will try to write her. We used to live in WA for 3 years 2007 - 2010 but probably before she arrived.

[ML]

We had a RW forum, many of us had kids at the same time, we remained friends, recently 13 of us went on a cruise on that cruise only 3 women including myself were still married to the same guy! I also meet RW/UW in real life who recognize me from that forum and they usually mention that they are no longer with the same guy. But there ARE some happy marriages.

Olga, I am lucky (I think) that my wife was never involved with such . . . forum discussion groups.

It seems that a lot of negative energy is created by those who are unhappy and it transfers to others.

In our small university town, there are 5 other couples where wife is from Ukraine.  In all cases both the woman and husband are professors or researchers.

None are unhappy that I know of, so no bad vibes to transfer.

However my wife has said to me that she actually enjoys more being around native USA  women as compared to these Ukrainian women.
But she is cordial to all and goes to special Ukrainian events, parties at their homes, etc.
I tend to stay away so that they can all talk freely in Ukrainian.  They all speak good English, but still I know they would like to talk in Ukrainian.
They are all fluent in English, Ukrainian and Russian.
One woman also is fluent in French.  WOW . . . 4 languages.

[olgac]

Seems like you know some very bright UW in your town!

Yes such forums do have some negative energy, as women usually go there to complain
But also to find out about things in US.

Even back then I remember there wer plenty of women with huge entitlement attitude. I remember I used to defend men there a lot.
I remember the constant topic was that if a woman gets a job, it should be HER money "na bulavki" while the man's money is OUR money.
I remember I used to argue on such topics a lot back then.

There were many women who married a blue collar coutry side AM and they were disappointed because they had education and would not date such a guy in Russia, but as a foreigner he seemed more sophisticated until they got to US and understood his true social standing here.

There were some women whose husbands were not over their exes and seemed to have married a hot young RW to get back at their ex.
All these women are divorced now.

There were AM dissatisfied and not wanting to continue with marriage or do paperworkand unfortunately the advise was always to claim abuse and get legalized tat way.

I remember one american man who bought his wife and stepson tickets to visit Russia, while they were there he send her a message not to come back and mailed all her stuff. She came back and convinced him to stay together but in a couple of years they got divorced anyways, she was one of the entitled ones.

I remember many women having problems with man's children from previous relationships, not putting her name on the house title, living in a middle of nowhere, and of course not enough money.

But then there were women who were really happy too even with a large age difference.
One of these women's husband died recently she is heart broken.
Unfortunately another happy woman's husband left her last year after 20+ years of marriage and a child together. He was a pretty wealthy guy.
So yeah, lots of different stories.

Somehow even after decades in US I still get along better with Russian/Ukranian vs American women. Well recently I prefer Ukranians because some Russians support the war

And maybe You are right that You are lucky Your wife never went to these forums, or she would have been bombarded by opinions that her money should be only hers or something

[ML]

And maybe You are right that You are lucky Your wife never went to these forums, or she would have been bombarded by opinions that her money should be only hers or something

Actually money has never been an issue with us.
Wife had quite a  bit of money before coming to USA and owns several properties in Ukraine and even in Ireland, and now in USA.

And with her University salary, she puts the max of $30,000 into optional retirement plan in addition to the 12% that she and univ put into standard plan.

But she still provides me with money for one beer a week !!

She will gladly give me all the money she has . . . but I don't need any.

[olgac]

She will gladly give me all the money she has . . . but I don't need any.

Wow! You have really lucked out! This is very unusual for UW

[ML]

Even back then I remember there wer plenty of women with huge entitlement attitude.

A short story about entitlement in Ukraine.

Wife has had a best friend in Ukraine for 30 or more years.
Her husband left her for a younger woman after 20 or more years.

This woman (wife's friend) is vivacious and had many sexual partners after the divorce.

One guy in particular was handy with renovation work (even as he was an executive) and completely renovated her apartment using his own money.

He was also very good at sex and introduced the woman to her first receiving of oral sex.

Then, when he finished to renovation, the  woman dumped him and moved on to other men.

(She even made contact with ex-husband to show him all the new sex moves she had learned.  But she found that her ex still was not good at sex . . . even as she is still in love with him)

My wife was not very happy with her friend when this happened and told her so. 

The woman only replied: I was entitled to his work as he should have been happy to be with a woman like me.

Wife still communicates with this long-time friend, but less frequently now, and is very disappointed in her.

[krimster2]

well...the best of luck to all entitled women waiting for Gen Z or millenials to "HAVE MONEY"
hint: that's not EVER gonna happen, same as for Russian men

life is an hourglass
the more you wait for perfection as is required to match your own perceived value
the more sand drips to the bottom along with your own perfection

EVERY single cat lady, swore she would NEVER be a cat lady
but it's their destiny to know the best deals on cat food
no one can escape their destiny, you White Russians know that

to be at the mercy of cat ladies...
there but for the grace of god, and my own sense of self-preservation would have been my own tragic destiny

I fought wars with the cat ladies
and I won the wars!!!!

defeat went over defense before detail
skazal "nyet" to cat ladies
they gonna all be starooshkie living by themselves
and...and... THEY CRAZY
CRAZY CAT LADIES!!!!!

you have to be really desperate to tap that,
so ya know some poor fool is gonna try, cuz that's the nature of fools....

this is why it is REALLY important for a man to KNOW what a fool is
and to have a mirror, so he can check himself

OTOH when I look in the mirror, I scare myself....
and I scare the Russians to

YALKY
and some PALKY

[olgac]

well...the best of luck to all entitled women waiting for Gen Z or millenials to "HAVE MONEY"
hint: that's not EVER gonna happen, same as for Russian men

There are exceptions! My former 30-35 year old coworkers at Google, Apple and uber are making 500K-700K a year as sr software engineers
most of it being stock grants. This is how my husband and I were able to retire so early!
But they of course have girlfrieds allready and most of them are asian, not white (my friend wants only white), though some are white american or Russian/Ukranian.
That's Sillicon Valley for You, Seattle is the same. I come from that environment and I am totally used to young people making real money.
But they are all usually taken.

I know a 40 year old Ukranian man I wanted to introduce to my friend, he makes 800K/year at amazon doing software but he does not want a house wife at all!
In fact he divorced his Russian ex because she wouldn't get an education and start working even though he was ready to pay for her education.
My friend thinks he is stingy, but I think the guy just has principles, he doesn't want a leach, a helpless child for a wife, so no not a good match
(she also though he looked to old - unbelievable!)

[olgac]

The woman only replied: I was entitled to his work as he should have been happy to be with a woman like me.

YEP! This sounds very familiar!

[krimster2]

people who make 500k/yr in silicon valley
have a lower standard of living than those making 100k/yr in another state

The Bay Area has legions of dewds with engineering degrees and no social skills
if your friend can't find a partner in silicon valley, then SHE ISN'T GONNA EVER FIND ONE ANYWHERE

which for the rest of mankind is probably a righteous outcome
she'll be a purr-fect cat lady
and they have robotic kitty litter boxes now and cat allergy tablets
so almost no downside

[olgac]

well small correction: she lives in Reno, NV.
My husband and I moved here for retirement.
She is trying to look in SF Bay Area remotely, but so far no luck so you might be right