Hi, I'm Jason

[Jack]

Just always thankful that I never fell for a hot 20 something.

Well ML, just goes to show you all men are different and that is what makes the world go round.   I am very thankful that I never fell for a 40 year old.    Because all men are different is the reason that there is no set best way for someone to proceed with this most wonderful pursuit.   A man does what he feels is best for him and after a little experience may change certain aspects of the pursuit from how he originally started.   

[LAman]

Well ML, just goes to show you all men are different and that is what makes the world go round.   I am very thankful that I never fell for a 40 year old.    Because all men are different is the reason that there is no set best way for someone to proceed with this most wonderful pursuit.   A man does what he feels is best for him and after a little experience may change certain aspects of the pursuit from how he originally started.   

It's all about the numbers....for ML's 40+girls......I can easily get 2..........hot 20 somethings!!!!!
And the years add up to pretty much the same....

[newjason]

@LAman   so I am curious at this point, exactly  what actions do you mean? Mine , her's or both?
                I know how I was feeling about all this so far, but I am curious what you see too...

[newjason]

Now for more of the ....


It was as if the girl who I was with in America, was replaced by someone else  when returning to Russia.  It was still my Yana, but she began to act strange.  She would not answer the Phone for a whole day.  This was unusual because we always talk at least 3 times a day. I got worried something happened to her. She wrote me a sms and said she  was sleeping.   hmm. ok.  Sleeping with who is what I should have asked. But, no, I was silent and just gave her the benefit of the doubt. I still trusted her. I had to , she is going to be my wife soon.  If I can't trust her, then we have a problem Houston.

So, the wedding day is set, I had to send her the money for advance payment of the , rental hall,  Limo, Video guy, Photographer,  etc...  It was a lot and I prayed I was doing the right thing. While in my mind, I was seriously wondering if she was going to disappear again. 
 I called her, and made sure she got the money, she did .  I said call me when you have given the deposits to everyone and please remember that money is for our wedding.  Yana, said, Of Course  sweety! muahhh.

So the next day, I woke up and guess what, she had not called.  Fantastic!  Ok , well I call, no answer. I call for 3 DAYS. every hour or so for 3 DAYS she either don't answer or has the phone off.  It is now Friday. I am flying to Russia on Tuesday, so we can get married Saturday. 
Well , I am not the brightest guy by any means, but even I knew that she had taken off. GEE just like I read on these forums.
But, nooo I am not like those guys....
I am smart
I am good looking
And she really loves me for who I am
So there must be some other reason why she doesn't call.....
I call - all weeeked. nothing.
I even call her mom's phone.
Mom answers,  I tell her that I can not reach Yana, and If she see's her , tell her to call me please.
FINALLY on sunday, I call ...
and a Man answers....
allo...
i said,  Yana?
he said...   allo?
I said
Яна это там? Мне нужно поговорить с ней.

allo?
alllo...

Dude, say allo one more time, ...
let me speak to Yana please , it is important.

he mumbels something and hangs up.

Oh I was heated...        


I was in shock.  Literally.   I was shaking and telling myself, hey it was a wrong number.

I waited about an HOUR and called again...
Yana said  Allo! in a mean voice..
I said, Yana? What's up?
Suddenly she can't understand English!
I asked if she knew what days it is today?
She said, no, but it is not day of our marry today!
No shit Sherlock, I was again really  really mad.
That is the first time I had ever raised my voice to her.
Yana, please explain some things to me...
She shouted at me " what things JASON?"
Come here, and I will marry you!
I said, Well that is the plan, but I would  like to know why you did not answer my calls for the last  week, and why a man is answering your phone?

She said, JASON! Come to here and I WILL marry YOU.

I said,  YES! I understand that, but  I need to talk to now!

She said :  Just come here..  and hung up.

I was beyond pissed off  I could not believe what just happened.

I sat awake all night and into the next day, my mind was racing overtime trying to figure.

She is not going to call, and My plane ticket is for tomorrow. Damn Damn, Double Damn Damn.

I still did not want to believe it. I was so far in Denial, I had no way to see anything clearly at all.

I finally accepted what it was, and got some sleep. I wake up Tuesday morning, got a shower, and started un-packing  my suitcases.
As I took the Items  out of the bags, I admired the small gift's i had for Yana and ther Mother.  what a waste.  I can not uderstand how she can be such a liar and theif. I just don't  get it. 
She was one hell of an actress to pretend to be in love with me for a whole year and a half and then turn off the act at will.

The phone rings....
It's Yana,  I look at the time...
2 hours before my plane takes off without  me on it.
I say.. Allo?
I hear ...Jasoooon.  I loveeee  youoooo ..... in a sobbing voice
I said in a clam deep voice

You have the wrong number.

Nooo Jasooon, Listenn Meeee Pleasee

I listen Yana.. What do you want now...


I want us be together and I want be Mrs Jason!

ohh here we go..     Yana, no you don't .

Yesss you need come marry me.
 No, I don't and I wont.
Unless...

Yes? what unless? tell me please, i willl do all you say.. please telll what unless?

If you can explain to me what you have been doing the last days you were absent, why you changed, why you dont answer my calls, explain it all to me, The Truth.   do that , and I will think about still coming..  (Not really, i was lying too)

Much to my surprise, she came clean about everything, and I mean everything. I was Impressed, she was either the best damn con artist ever made, or she really wanted to get married. 

So what was she up to???


I will tell you next time...   

[Patagonie]

I read it and i'm fascinated, thank you Jason, thank you very much to tell us this really personal story, i cannot believe it for the moment, but my experience with women in fact lt me believe it, i am a not professional writer and i have had a story with a woman which would be not possible to imagine. We read you.

[ECOCKS]

Welcome Jason.

Your story is normal and you are not unique.

This is the world of FSUW bud, get used to it.

[Slumba]

Jason, you can give any mystery or suspense writer a run for their money!   

[Eduard]

Welcome Jason.

Your story is normal and you are not unique.

This is the world of FSUW bud, get used to it.

I'd say this is the world of FSU 20 yo hotties rather than FSU women. I think I was pretty much right on the money with my first post on this thread. I'd drop her like a hot potato at the fur coat request in the middle of summer. Beautiful girls her age (I'm assuming she was in her early 20s) play power games like that all the time. The great Russian poet, Alexander Pushkin wrote about this behavior: : "Чем меньше женщину мы любим, тем больше нравимся мы ей" Which translates: "The less we love a woman the more she likes us". I've observed this behavior so many times with pretty, young Russian girls, had my heart broken when I was a teen a couple of times by them so I learned my lesson while still young.
Jason, sorry my man, you did have your clues but you went with your heart, buddy instead of your mind and common sense. I can understand this and I don't blame you. When you fall for a gorgeous young thing it's very hard to give her up. It's like a drug in a way.

[Patagonie]

It's true that at any moment i saw in your posts Jason not the cat of Schroedinger but the principle of reality.
You never told to this girl : stop, i can't, because X, because W, except for the amount needed to the marriage (and in fact you borrowed it).
 It is a fact that there are two sorts of people : those who live in a fantasy and some who understands the principle of reality. This is unfortunately not  like black or white, some people are in the middle.
 But for sure those who live too far from this principle, they are going to be a pain in any human relationship, and sometimes for themselves also.
This is also the black side of the FSU courtship, the man provides during the courtship to fill any wishes of his beloved. The "fill any wishes" is of course not without danger. SOme might consider that is a problem of court, if your court is big (you make big money) so you don't need to worry about this topic. The problem is more about "ethics",  because people needs to have some limits, if they have, they have some "ethic", if they don't you need to put the limit or ask an attorney or a judge.
I have met one who asked me an iphone after the third meeting. She was not even capable to undersand that my iphones was full of personal informations and necessary to my security in Ukraine. She was imagining that i was the type of guy who lets two months of an ukrainan average wage just because we held hands. The principle of reality hitted her in few seconds : i dropped her on the sidewalk 

[GQBlues]

I'm itching to ask the question....


Yana's cousin/relatives (your co-worker) were never even invited to the wedding? Were they in on it? Curious mind wanna know...

[newjason]

@Slumba  Wow thanks.  Maybe I will quit construction and Go write letters for AnastasiaDate...LOL
@Eduard  You were correct indeed.  The experience was a great one.  learned a lot. About myself, and about the people close to me.

@Patagonie  I was thinking along similar lines.  I am not a person who says " I can't" very often. I believe anything is possible and I will and have gone to great lengths to make things happen in life. Some things are worthwhile, and other things are not.  That determination and drive is what keeps me going in life.  Yana is simply a different personality. I knew her well enough to know tha I can not make her into something she is not. - Thrifty. There was no point in trying to convince her to save money because I can't afford it, She would have gave  hour long explanations of why she needs (x whatever it may be).  I was very hapy in this story up until this next part.

@GQBlues     be patient, its coming..



And now the Conclusion...

Remember ...  Last time I was saying to  Yana....

....If you can explain to me what you have been doing the last days you were absent, why you changed, why you dont answer my calls, explain it all to me, The Truth.   

If do that , and I will think about still coming..  (Not really, I had already decided I was not going)

Much to my surprise, she came clean about everything, and I mean everything. I was Impressed, she was either the best damn con artist ever made, or she really wanted to get married. 

So what was she up to???

Well first, She admitted to having a boyfriend , after claiming he was  "just a friend" and me pushing her for the truth.   She claimed it was not serious.   I don't care,  We were to be married in a week,  Why were you wanting to be with someone  else and get married too?   If I meant enough to Yana to marry  her, then she had the responsibility to refrain from being with other men.   This had apparently  been happening for about a month. I beleive her about that, as that was about the time she became twitchy and distant.  She tried to give me reasons to justify her actions, but somehow she would always end up blaming me for it in the End.  That is another thing I have noticed about FSU women, No matter what she does, it is always your fault.  LOL Really Yana? My fault?  I suppose Held you at gunpoint and made you buy a thousand dollar fur too?

I thanked her for telling the truth, and coming clean. I then asked if  she had any last words..  before I say good bye.
She cried like a baby. She said she left that guy, and he is gone forever now. She begged and pleaded don't leave me please Jason I beg you , I can not without you ...  You are my only one who really understands and loves me , really.

Damn why do girls do that..  I feel guilty, but still mad and can not forget what she did.
To marry this girl would be a life full of this kind of thing.  I said -  Yana, I love you too, you are the most amazing woman I have ever known.   BUT you made a fool out of me, and yourself. You let me down, you don't respect yourself and certainly cannot respect me. That's ok.  That is just who you are.  You don't respect marriage or commitment.   
I can't be with you Yana. I love you.  I miss you, and will always cherish what we had together.  But you did a mistake that will never be able to erased clean. 
So I think I better say goodbye to you.
She cried even more and begged me again and again not to leave her forever.
Finally, I just said, look, I gotta go,  I will call you later ok?
OK she said.

Now everything had changed so much, I was still in dis-belief .
I had to call my parents and tell them that I did not leave to go to Russia and it was over between Yana and I.  I hated to do that, because It broke my mom's heart. You see, she really reallly Adored Yana and Yana loved her too.  I called Val and informed him of what had happened. He was very quiet and I could sense the disappointment in his voice. 
We had planned to get married at Val's house when Yana came back to America on her Spouse Visa.
I told him, not to blame Yana for what happened. She was hurting enough already. 

At that point, I started back into working a lot of hours and keeping myself busy. I needed to put some time into myself again so I could begin to heal from this.
I did call Yana back.  And we cried and just talked as friends for a long time. 
She called me every day.  I did not want to take her calls, but I felt I had to, I needed Yana in my life in some way shape or form. 
About a week went by ,I repaid the loan in full.
Yana kept hanging on...
I did too.  I was a mess.   i couldn't think, I couldn't eat or sleep. My work was suffering and so was I.
I had to myself It was Over.
But could I live without Yana?
I had to try.


There is a lot more to this story as this happened several years ago.  But I may just close it out now. I don't know what to do yet.  aw ok,  I will keep going.

So...
Yana and I stayed best friends. We talked ever day and She is a very dear person to me. She did convince me about a year later To come to visit her in Russia.  I agreed and went and spent two incredible weeks With her and the moment we were reunited, The magic was back, better than before. We had each other,  in every way. I am so glad I went to visit her. being her is simply like being in a different galaxy.
 I was thinking about giving her another chance when about that time 
another person entered the story....

Who could it be now?

 

[newjason]

It's true that at any moment i saw in your posts Jason not the cat of Schroedinger but the principle of reality.
You never told to this girl : stop, i can't, because X, because W, except for the amount needed to the marriage (and in fact you borrowed it).
 It is a fact that there are two sorts of people : those who live in a fantasy and some who understands the principle of reality. This is unfortunately not  like black or white, some people are in the middle.
 But for sure those who live too far from this principle, they are going to be a pain in any human relationship, and sometimes for themselves also.
This is also the black side of the FSU courtship, the man provides during the courtship to fill any wishes of his beloved. The "fill any wishes" is of course not without danger. SOme might consider that is a problem of court, if your court is big (you make big money) so you don't need to worry about this topic. The problem is more about "ethics",  because people needs to have some limits, if they have, they have some "ethic", if they don't you need to push the limit or ask an attorney or a judge.
I have met one who asked me an iphone after the third meeting. She was not even capable to undersand that my iphones was full of personal informations and necessary to my security in Ukraine. She was imagining that i was the type of guy who lets two months of an ukrainan average wage just because we held hands. The principle of reality hitted her in few seconds : i dropped her on the sidewalk 

LOL we call it  " kick her to the curb"   but same meaning. Yes good for you.
I appreciate your insight and value your opinion.  While I know this now, It was not always inforamtion that I wanted to hear. I suppose I live that fantasy a little adn keep it with me... like Schroedinger's  cat
I have alive this fantasy when reality is seem to have died. By telling this story here,  this fourm is as the box. And many observers to help me keep myself on my reality

[Daveman]

Excellent thread, Jason. Thanks for sharing.


The question must be asked... in the seven years since her University days, has she not grown up at all? 

[Eduard]

Excellent thread, Jason. Thanks for sharing.


The question must be asked... in the seven years since her University days, has she not grown up at all? 

The real beautiful girls that almost every guy wants can be really messed up in the head. They tease and torture good guys who fall in love with them and would do anyting for them, but themselves they always fall for the wrong guy who will use them and dump them. It's almost always the same story. I've observed this behavior when I was still a teen living in Russia, I also observed it recently with my wife's friends who confind in us so I know exactly what's going on in their head.
My advice, if you want a nice, family oriented woman in your life stay away from the 9s and 10s, keep the age gap within 15 years (I know, I know, there are always exceptions to the rule) and only target girls 25 and over. Trust me, At age 15 through 19 I've known several hot 19-20 year old girls who were about to get married because it was "the right thing to do". Maybe they even loved their fiance, but... they felt like they had to get their wild oats sown even if a wedding was in a week! They felt like their life of freedom was about to end and engaged in pretty wild behavior.


I think that at that age they don't have the capacity to understand love, commitment, selflessness. It's all about self validation for them. They want to feel wanted and desirable but the minute a man shows them that he loves them the game is over and they start looking for validation from another man.

[Patagonie]

The real beautiful girls that almost every guy wants can be really messed up in the head. They tease and torture good guys who fall in love with them and would do anyting for them, but themselves they always fall for the wrong guy who will use them and dump them. It's almost always the same story. I've observed this behavior when I was still a teen living in Russia, I also observed it recently with my wife's friends who confind in us so I know exactly what's going on in their head.
My advice, if you want a nice, family oriented woman in your life stay away from the 9s and 10s, keep the age gap within 15 years (I know, I know, there are always exceptions to the rule) and only target girls 25 and over. Trust me, At age 15 through 19 I've known several hot 19-20 year old girls who were about to get married because it was "the right thing to do". Maybe they even loved their fiance, but... they felt like they had to get their wild oats sown even if a wedding was in a week! They felt like their life of freedom was about to end and engaged in pretty wild behavior.


I think that at that age they don't have the capacity to understand love, commitment, selflessness. It's all about self validation for them. They want to feel wanted and desirable but the minute a man shows them that he loves them the game is over and they start looking for validation from another man.

I have the same opinion.
 If i resume :
A girl more than 23-25 (25 better), a gap around 12, a woman previously married, and with a child as possible. And so you get better chance, in average.
I also avoid like the plague every profile with the mention "i want a man ..... generous". If a girl is not understanding from the scratch how does it cost for WM the full adventure of datings, weddings, relocating, and divorce (in case), so she is a dreamer and too far from the principle of reality, or her wishes in the contract are clear (first an assistance or a fortune  two love).

The 9s and more (til 10s) can be a mess, you need to game them, to drive them, to put the limit. At this age, for the youngest one, you need to be a challenge for them, and stay a challenge, which is quite difficult if you want ALSO love them (i want to say be alive a true love story).  I agree also that a lot of them will fall for the wrong guy, for some they would always repeat the same during their life.

[Patagonie]

LOL we call it  " kick her to the curb"   but same meaning. Yes good for you.
I appreciate your insight and value your opinion.  While I know this now, It was not always inforamtion that I wanted to hear. I suppose I live that fantasy a little adn keep it with me... like Schroedinger's  cat
I have alive this fantasy when reality is seem to have died. By telling this story here,  this fourm is as the box. And many observers to help me keep myself on my reality

Jason i have high opinion of you :
You listen your guts
YOu stick to your ethic in a critical moment
You take the decision by yourself splitting love and yours standards, your ethic win BECAUSE you have a STRONG willing.
You were enough mature to accept (forgive) her in the chretien terms, by understanging (which doesn't mean to abrogate your personality and the respect you wait from others) her.

To go further i think maturity is strictly anchored with the principle of reality. Young we are not mature, but we learn quicly from the principle of reality. Some learn quickly, some slowly, and some never. It is the question of Daveman : does she learn something lasts years ? What was her mark about this topic ?


I have just a question, you reimburse the loan in short time, Yana sent you back the money, or for a part ?

One of the clue you have indeed thought about is passion or love ?
You surely know what i mean, or how a true passion can become a love (LTR).
I let you develop it.

[newjason]

Excellent thread, Jason. Thanks for sharing.


The question must be asked... in the seven years since her University days, has she not grown up at all? 

she has grown up, but has she changed her ways?  honestly, I do not think so. She had a few more years in the University in her city, Got high marks and things were looking up for her.   She was living with a nice Russian man a few years (5) older than she was. He was (or seemed to be) a good man. He treated her well and they seemed happy at first. By the way, this is the same guy who she was with the week before our planned marriage.  Apparently he had no idea that she was engaged to be married and was pretty upset at Yana when she told him about this later on. He knew we were still friends and I had some nice talks with him. He did drink from time to time and act like an ass, but  hey who has not done that before? 
In time, He too learned what I did, That Yana doesn't understand the concept of living within your means. I must give him credit though, he worked his ass off to try to please her.  He suggested that it may be possible that if both of us, (he and I) together get with her maybe she would be happy then? LOL  Somehow we both got a good laugh from that and knew that even then, it still would not be enough. He eventually left her, (more accurately she drive him crazy away). She and I continued to talk everyday.  He now is married to a different Lady who has a child, he seems very happy and we still chat from time to time. 
Since 2008 the economy in America has went to hell and as such, work has become very scarce and this has been very different from years previous. It has gotten progressively worse in the construction industry and the last two years have been very very lean. It used to be that I had people waiting 1-2 months before I could get to them because I had booked jobs that far in advance. I had to turn people away as I just simply did not have enough time to do everything offered to me.  Now I feel lucky If I can find 1 job /week. I have had to diversify and start doing other similar things just to try to make ends meet.
Yana was in a situaton where she accumulated a lot of bills last year, and pleaded for me to help her. I have and always will be there for her. I have helped her out all these years when she needed it.   But this time, I simply could not do it. I can't give someone money I do not have. I told her, you are going to have to find a way to do it yourself.   
WOW did that piss her off!
I think she needed to hear that a long long time ago, as no one ever said NO to her before (including me)
She would not answer my calls or mail for a few days so i stopped trying to contact her.
 A few months pass and I get a sm from her.  Hi , how are you?
We started to occasionally chat maybe 1 or 2 times a week.  She was not warm or kind any more toward me. In fact she was a bit of a bitch most of the time.

I learned that she was dating a man who she was giving English lessons to.  He was helping her with her bills and everything and proposed marriage to her.  So i asked her, and what was your answer?
She said  NO WAY!  So i asked her why? If this guy gives you everything you need and brings you food and gifts and all that then what's the problem?  She said, well  He is Married and his wife came to her house and called her a home wrecker and to stay away from her husband.
Gee nice going Yana.
So she got a job with a marriage agency posing as a mail order bride. !!  I asked her again, because I thought I understood her wrong. You are working on a marriage agency web site? Yes.  And they pay toy to Do this? Yes
But i need professional Photos done. It will cost about $50
Well at this point I had given up trying to please Yana and I figured, what the hell, If you can't beat em, then join em.
I gave her the money to get the photos done. She  then asked me if I would help her with that work.
I asked her how can I help with your work?
She wanted me to write her profile for her. Write one that was better than all the other girls there so she could get more guys in chat and make more money.
WOW I was  in dis-belief again.
But at this point. I had to figure out something. I knew Yana was not a good candidate for marriage to me, because of our past. The fact that she does not respect marriage is a sign that she will not respect her own marriage if she ever has one.  But she is my friend and I am always the one she comes to when she needs help with something.
So I thought about it. I don't like the fact that she is going to work chatting with men who are there to find a wife, when she is there only to make money. That bothers me.
On the other hand, I haven't the means to help her like I used to financially so I do help her with anything else she may need. Like English homework, stuff for her education and the like.
She said she can make a lot of money doing that, and that her bills are very high again.
I figured well at least she is trying to support herself.
If you give a girl a fish....
She eats for that day...
If you teach a girl to fish...
She eats for the rest of her life ..

So, against my better judgement

I said  let's go fishing...

[ECOCKS]

So much for ethics and principles.

[The Natural]

Jason,
 
Not meaning to be impolite, but I don't understand why you keep in touch and "help" this girl still, after all these years. From your description her character is that of a liar, cheater, scammer and greed. You are enabling her to cheat and hurt other people and I suspect, also yourself.
 
It's your life and your decision of course, but I would have dropped her many years ago if I were in that situation, no matter how beautiful she might be.

[ECOCKS]

Sounds almost like co-dependency to me.

[Patagonie]

Jason,
 
Not meaning to be impolite, but I don't understand why you keep in touch and "help" this girl still, after all these years. From your description her character is that of a liar, cheater, scammer and greed. You are enabling her to cheat and hurt other people and I suspect, also yourself.
 
It's your life and your decision of course, but I would have dropped her many years ago if I were in that situation, no matter how beautiful she might be.

Jason i have exactly the same reaction as the Natural.
You don't have to help this girl, particulary after your break. You use the word : Yana is my friend. There is no friendship in this relation.
First i don't help continuously my friends with money year after year.
And second if i said no to a friend because i can't and if this friend stops communication with me, but recontact me, being bitchy, i would really taking in consideration the level of "friendship". Probably firing off this friend.

Sorry Jason, but it's obvious during all these years you have not finish your mourning of this gal. In game we say you "one itis" .
Do you know the steps in a mourning ? Your last post show that you have not go through the step two on five. I would advice you to read the book of Bruce Fisher.

She was not marriage material, and now sorry to give you this shock but she is going in very low standards year after year, far from the wonderful young student you meet in US she is going to work as official prodater, cheating daily on men, like she did few years ago with you ? And you would help her ? And give her an additionnal 50 $, she begs you 50 $, where is her pride ? Sorry to tell you but she has a big problem with money. And she is going to be the "i search a sugar daddy, or worse"
Just my opinion, often men create this problem with money for a large part because they spoil girls. Between the very exciting honey moon of a beginning relation you need to risk the relation by assessing if it can have a future, by confronting the relation to the daily life.
It's time for you to kick her ass. And stop to enter in her loops, if you have not send yet this 50$ i would advice you to not send her.
You want to encourage good behavior, you can help people who started from a bad destiny, you can help disabled, you can help poor people, you can help people who suffer from a crash or who is sacked. But you cannot help someone who is lying, lazy, has bad ethics, and use men to pay her fantasies.

Like Hans Ulrich Rudel, when your plane is full of holes, your gunmate is killed, and you are always alive after the crash, it is time to change of plane.

[Faux Pas]

Jason,
 
Not meaning to be impolite, but I don't understand why you keep in touch and "help" this girl still, after all these years. From your description her character is that of a liar, cheater, scammer and greed. You are enabling her to cheat and hurt other people and I suspect, also yourself.
 
It's your life and your decision of course, but I would have dropped her many years ago if I were in that situation, no matter how beautiful she might be.

Sounds almost like co-dependency to me.

It's "hanging on". One might think either conscientiously or sub-conscientiously he still wants a future with this girl. Very symptomatic of the guys that can't leave the agencies after being bilked for hundreds or thousands. Don't you think?

Jason, I hate to be the bearer of bad news here guy but, what you call a friendship will be seen by most as completely something different. You're being used again, again and again. There is nothing redeeming here. Now you assist her in bilking others? Have you gotten away and cut off completely from this woman yet?

[ECOCKS]

Accessory before the fact.

[Jack]

wow, I was fine with Jason until he agreed to help this woman to cheat and deceive men. 

As ECOCKS put it,  So much for ethics and principles  Jason.

[newjason]

....
So
As I am thinking about what to write on a woman's profile, I take a look at the site that she has told me that she will be working.
There I see hundreds of model quality girls all with very revealing photos.
If I did not know better, at first glance I would think it was a porn site.
I read a few of the most popular girls profiles and started  thinking of something that would stand out and make hers different. About that time I get an email from Yana with copies of the photos she had done.
The photos were very well done, and I suspect that most if not all the photos on that site were done by the same person or people. They are photo-shop enhanced and flawless.
There were two or three of her in a night-dress where you could see her "stuff" and she may have just as well been nude, as  they left not much to the imagination.

she came into messenger where I was composing her profile statement and said , Do you like my Pics?

I was silent. I did not know what to say. 

she said: Jason? are you there?

I said: yes i am here.

Why are you silent?

After a moment I replied:  Tell me why you are doing this again?

She said: JASON I NEED Money! I have too many bills and no man will help me.  I can not ask friends to help, they already have helped before and I have never pay back to them. I have not rich parents and I can not ask my mom for money, she is sick and she make almost nothing anyway.
I try to find good work, but it is impossible here.  I have school and can not work and do my studies too! Any work here is too little money and can not pay for all my bills. You want me to be on the street and homeless? You want me to live like BUM?
 
We have had this conversation many times before. Every time it is the same, she gets all upset and starts yelling when I suggest to her working as  a waitress or in a clothing store while finishing school. Part time in a resturaunt, doing data entry, my list of suggestions goes on and on. But she has 101 reason why she can not do any of these jobs.
So I call bullshit!
I said: Yana, the truth is you do not WANT to work. You CAN work and you should work! I worked 2 jobs part time and payed my own way while going to college. My parents were not rich and did not have the money to pay for my education.  So I had to do it myself. And I did.  I am not saying it was easy, it was not.  It was more like hell most days. But nothing in this world worth having is ever easy!
So stop making excuses and find a respectable job with fair wages and start working.
Find something that does not involve Lying, cheating, or taking your clothes off Yana. Something you do not need to hide from everyone. OK?

She said: I will work at marriage agency, I can make more money and I can pay for my life like you say.

I said: Yana, you realize that the men you are going to be talking to are there to find a wife, yes? And that you being on that site, they assume that you are there to find a husband, right?

Yana: No!

Jason: No? what do you think they are there for?

Yana: They come to chat with beautiful girl. These men come to that site to chat with beautiful girl who will listen to him talk about his problems. It's like a psychologist work.

Jason: LOL. You are high on drugs or what?

Yana: Jason it's TRUE! I was in that agency office today and all girls need to is just like I said.

Jason: so what  happens when a man thinks he likes you and wants to meet? then what?

Yana: I don't know. I think I can tell that i am busy, but the boss Ana said that i should go to meet them and let them buy me things, but I think it's not right.

Jason: so THAT is the part you have a problem with?  Yana, you are a smart girl, you can do better work than that.

Yana: JASON! It is not so easy to have good work here! You say this but it is not true! In your country it very easy and anyone has good work so you think it is that way for here too?

Jason: Yana I am sorry. I know I said I will help you so that profile and work but I can not.  I can not assist you in something that we both know is wrong.

Yana: What is wrong? I can have good money there? all i need do is chat.  You tell me get work that i will not dansing or naked right? If those men want spend money to chat, why not?

Jason: That is the reason I do not want to be with you Yana.  You have no sense of right and wrong. You think only of yourself and treat people not like before. You used to be a respectable woman, you had dreams and you were kind and honest and fair.  That is not who you have become.  I don't know where you get this mentality from, but it makes you look bad.  I will not help you to lie and cheat and take money from men.

Yana: GOODBYE JASON NEVER  WRITE OR CALL ANYMORE NEVER.

No problem.


And that is my story.

This happened about 6 months ago just to make things clear about the time line of these writings.