Just because I can, should I? 20+ year age gaps

[Vasilisa]

Hmmmm, I have heard same from RW living in LA......mainly looking for guy closer to their age. Why is it in FSU, age isn't as important, yet once they are in US...things change? I understand some are here for green card but what about others?
For instance, two summers ago, a girl(30) from Moldova came to stay with me on a tourist visa, I visited her couple times.....but when she was here, she told me she would never look for an older man while here.When I asked why...she said it is different here.....what ever that means....

Well, some people have already given their opinions to you.
Another thing is that after having an older husband  many women who hadn't cared  at first as they had never been married before realized what it is really like and changed their mind.
In my case : if I look at the men who are older there are 2 main categories: the ones who have been married and have ex-wives and kids and the ones who have never been married but they are spoilt old bachelors who don't like to compromise, old playboys and mommy boys.
When you look at younger men most of them have never been married, they don't know how bad a divorce process can be, they are more flexible and you can "train" them a little bit, they are not that spoilt yet and more open to new things... did I mention the fact that many of them have great bodies?!
The huge minus is the fact that many of them are still immature boys though.

[Slumba]

When you look at younger men most of them have never been married, they don't know how bad a divorce process can be, they are more flexible and you can "train" them a little bit, they are not that spoilt yet and more open to new things... did I mention the fact that many of them have great bodies?!
The huge minus is the fact that many of them are still immature boys though.

My experience with women:

when you look at younger women, most of them have never been married, they don't know how bad a divorce process can be , they are more flexible (mentally and physically  ) and you can "train" them a little bit, they are not that spoiled and more open to new things... did I mention the fact that many of them have great bodies?! :-D

[Doll]

My experience with women:

when you look at younger women, most of them have never been married, they don't know how bad a divorce process can be , they are more flexible (mentally and physically  ) and you can "train" them a little bit, they are not that spoiled and more open to new things... did I mention the fact that many of them have great bodies?! :-D

Except, by "younger" you mean "much younger than you", while Vasilisa means "older than she is but a little"

[Globetrotter]

GQ is absolutely right...in that, is Riv looking for validation?  Probably.  Riv posts that over here, women don't "need" you, as they can have lucrative careers and have their own cash, which is very true.  So..............the answer may be.....to find someone who WANTS you, but doesn't NEED you, just for an opportunity to find a best friend, who just may love and support you in tough times you may have!  Some people look for "someone who will make them happy, and/or complete".  Well, quess what..........if you are not already happy by yourself and comfortable in what you have and who you are, nobody can improve you, as only you can do this!!!  So, you are telling us here that you are looking for a 20 year old in Eastern Europe, or Central America, or another "developing country"  for what?  Sex? 
 
If you  (Riv) are only here to tell us of your good looks, sexual prowess, and superior intellect and brilliance...well we have already had our middle-aged dozer driver married to a teen-ager telling us, and doing just as you are, or will do!
 
If you are so into 20 year olds at your age of 48, why not just rent one or 2 or 3 per week?   Guaranteed, it will cost you less at the end of the day  However, if you still think so much of yourself in that you are such a true seductive stud at 48, I have a clue for you..........quess what girls are called who accept money and favors for their company and sex?  Best of luck after you marry one!!!  I'm sure we are all waiting to hear how Billy Boy's absolutely incredible relationship turns out after 2 years and one day....if she can stand him for that long, but she must get her mother here first.  Oh well, stupid is as stupid does.  (Forrest Gump quote)  And, best of luck.

[Vasilisa]

The question was why women change their mind.
I tried to explain.
That's simple: everybody wants to be happy. Both men who go to Russia and women who go abroad. If you are a single mom who works day and night and all men around are either married, or alcoholics or players even a serious looking older guy from abroad looks like an option if there's a chance that the woman is going to live a happy family life in the future.
When you get married, then realize that you are not happier but even unhappier than you were before you understand that "older" doesn't mean "more reliable" and "ready for a family life", then you change you criteria.

Another thing is that most men who come to FSU countries to find a wife are 35+, so that's what the ladies have to choose from, it doesn't mean they like older men, they just want to be happy and have to choose from what they have.

[Misha]

Misha, the key words are "in the FSU" and "blue passport". Actually, the better word is "from" (the FSU)

Doesn't really matter. Of the five or so divorced RW that I know in my city, only one found a new bf quickly and she did get married. She was extremely attractive. The others are still single to the best of my knowledge. Again, on the local dating market looking for younger and successful men, they are quite average when compared to their peers...

[IAmZon]

If you  (Riv) are only here to tell us of your good looks, sexual prowess, and superior intellect and brilliance...well we have already had our middle-aged dozer driver married to a teen-ager telling us, and doing just as you are, or will do!

GT - that was a bunch of poop.   But, I sure am perdy LOL   PFFFF  (another digital bada$$ - so now you claim I date hookers and do not wear a condom ?!?!?  Did I miss something)

Don't confuse the fact that I am arguing against simple steriotypes based on age gaps  1) All young men are better in bed than men over 40.  2) All 20+ age gap relationships are based in financial benefit for the woman by the man  ECT.   with the notion that I think I AM THE WORLD'S GREATEST LOVER  or that I think I am GOD'S GIFT TO WOMEN.  That is not true.  I do have  a good understanding of my attractiveness in the countries in which I live ... and, I do not date poor desperate girls looking for a green card mate.

[ECOCKS]

Sex, religion, politics....and age gap relationships......

It's all fun and games until someone gets poked in the eye.

[IAmZon]

Perhaps I am a little too sensitive to the BS that is being passed around as "normal" these days in the USA. When did this crap become acceptable.   Could you imagine seeing these commercials on TV 20 years ago?  You've come a long way baby  LOL





- could you IMAGINE if the roles were reversed in THIS political climate!

[Daveman]

GT, Do you really not get it?  Your posts were removed...


Any other posts turning personal, by anyone in this thread, will simply be deleted on the spot. So if you have a point to make, make it with class or not at all otherwise it'll be gone anyway.

[Globetrotter]

Dave, I did not think they were so personal, due to what he was writing and insinuating.  Actually, I thought I was doing a service to those who think like him or may act like him....Sex tourist...maybe? 
 
Anyway, I accept your "spanking" and will try to refrain from what I now "consider" just that! 
 
Sorry to disagree with the "judge" but this happens from time to time.  And...I hope RIV was able to read before you deleated so he knows how I, and I'm sure many others think.  Respectfully, J

[Faux Pas]

Sex, religion, politics....and age gap relationships......

It's all fun and games until someone gets poked in the eye.

Now thats funny!

 

[Globetrotter]

Rivardco...........I think Dave thinks I owe you an apology, and you have it, from me, not because he wanted it, but you must know where I am coming from.  So many have come before you with disasterous results.
 
Sure, anybody can do what you are doing, or are about to do...and for what?  I am here longer than most, and about your age when I started.  The youngest I dated was 12 years younger than me.  I had several.  The more I saw of these 12 years my junior, well, I just saw the forest for the trees in that they would marry anybody to "get out". 
But I saw this as an "amateur psychologist" and thank God I did.  You are probably a nice guy, and probably good looking and in good shape, as am I. 
 
Many years ago, I said to myself, that the most difficult thing you will do in your lifetime is to find a wonderful, suitable mate, who you will love, and who will love you no matter what.  This is actually more difficult than having a great career, or big money, or anything else.  I have an Aunt and Uncle married for more years than I am alive which is incredible to see...how they speak to each other, to witness their body-language, and I want the same thing and will not settle for less.  My parents were the same, both now gone.  So, I quess I "judge" at times what others do, which is none of my business.
 
Anyway, I don't give advice...only opinions, some of which Dave disagrees with.
 
Sorry for any uncivil language, which Dave has slapped my pee-pee for doing!     

[Vasilisa]

Doesn't really matter. Of the five or so divorced RW that I know in my city, only one found a new bf quickly and she did get married. She was extremely attractive. The others are still single to the best of my knowledge. Again, on the local dating market looking for younger and successful men, they are quite average when compared to their peers...

Misha, as I was making my profile I made sure I don't look  bad in comparison with the local American women of my age, I looked through a lot of females profiles. The surprising thing was that a lot of them have toddlers and I can't say their salary is high, many of them are also overweight. If they are in a good shape they are either blacks or Asians or write that they have a little child, students  and live with ther parents or something like that. Also one of the American men also complained that he was experiencing the following problems: the girls are either high maintenance and look too fake and can't talk about anything exept for Britney Spears, or live with their parents and have children or don't take care of themselves, drink too much  and want sex on the first date and one of the American girls he used to date asked him to pay for putting gas in her car after the first date.

[LAman]

The question was why women change their mind.
I tried to explain.
That's simple: everybody wants to be happy. Both men who go to Russia and women who go abroad. If you are a single mom who works day and night and all men around are either married, or alcoholics or players even a serious looking older guy from abroad looks like an option if there's a chance that the woman is going to live a happy family life in the future.
When you get married, then realize that you are not happier but even unhappier than you were before you understand that "older" doesn't mean "more reliable" and "ready for a family life", then you change you criteria.

Another thing is that most men who come to FSU countries to find a wife are 35+, so that's what the ladies have to choose from, it doesn't mean they like older men, they just want to be happy and have to choose from what they have.

And in reverse, women of your age range are competing with many other AW, even younger women,for the men you look for......and these men can easily attact women in their 20's......
 
And thanks for your answer Vasilisa.....I do understand why your criteria changes!!

[Misha]

Men complaining that women want sex after a first date?!? Methinks Vasya that they were playing you As for attractive women, they usually don't stay on the market for long and usually don't need dating sites :x

[Vasilisa]

Men complaining that women want sex after a first date?!? Methinks Vasya that they were playing you As for attractive women, they usually don't stay on the market for long and usually don't need dating sites :x

Maybe, but he is not the one  from who I've heard that,I also read that in some profiles.

[Misha]

I've heard that,I also read that in some profiles.

Of course men will write that in their profiles. Men lie to get women :p

[Vasilisa]

Of course men will write that in their profiles. Men lie to get women :p

Also, in POF many men  write in the requirements:
-Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex
-Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
-Must not be married
Do they all lie  to attract women?

[Misha]

Sure, there may be one or two exceptions    However, I expect it is mostly a case of men playing psychological games: I will say that I don't want sex on the first date to improve my odds, but if she wants it I won't say no kind of deal 

[GoodOlBoy]

And in reverse, women of your age range are competing with many other AW, even younger women,for the men you look for......and these men can easily attact women in their 20's......

Yeah, good luck with that.
 
Have you even taken the time to talk to a young AW today?
 
Most are uneducated (no uni degree) and have absolutely NO culture.
 
For example, ask one about opera (yeah, believe it or not, GOB does like to go to a good opera performance here in Miami once in a while).
 
Young AW think you are referring to "As the World Turns" (TV soap operas). 
 
The thing I still find most stimulating about your "average" RW is their minds.
 
IMHO, RW are hands down waaaay more intelligent and cultured than your "average" AW.
 
GOB

BTW..... I thought I had my act together when it comes to art basics.....wrong! Marina ran circles around me when we visited the Hermitage in St. Petersburg.

[IAmZon]

ALL GOO GT - I do think more of you because of your follow up.   Perhaps my comments only in this thread paint me as pu$$y drunk?


===


I too found this place when I needed an SHRINK.  I ended a long term relationship with an AM and found myself with a 26 year old girl from Romania (that seemed scandalous to me at the time).   For what its worth we have remained close friends and lovers over the years.  In the beginning I FLIPPED for her.    As I look over the past 4 years, I have only been in large age gap relationships.  I called it off with Angelicka, a Colombiana because she was 22.   That would NOT work in the USA.  But, you know, I was happy with her, and her with me.   Who says I have to live in the USA full time?


Anyway, I do not need affirmation or approval!  The last chapter of my life already solved that problem.  Clearly, I am "doomed to 15 - 25 year age gaps.   I can see clearly now, and in the next 5 years.  I was looking for comments from veterans that had a 10 - 15 year jump on me. 


That is all

[Faux Pas]

I too found this place when I needed an SHRINK. I ended a long term relationship with an AM and found myself with a 26 year old girl from Romania (that seemed scandalous to me at the time).   For what its worth we have remained close friends and lovers over the years.  In the beginning I FLIPPED for her.    As I look over the past 4 years, I have only been in large age gap relationships.  I called it off with Angelicka, a Colombiana because she was 22.   That would NOT work in the USA.  But, you know, I was happy with her, and her with me.   Who says I have to live in the USA full time?

Rivardco, so for you, it doesn't matter whether you're pitching or catching, as long as you are "in the game"? Or, is that a typo?

[ECOCKS]

Really Tim, please understand me on this. I believe now that you're the one who determines whether it's right for you or not.

If you BOTH can go into this with eyes open and are prepared to accept responsibility for the future without whining or expectation that anyone else shares your sense of being "done wrong" then I am truly supportive of you being in this sort of relationship.

Really I even support the trophy hunters. IF a girl wants to take the role of being the trophy wife and the guy is prepared to pay the price (financially and emotionally) for whatever the future brings without whining and carrying on about it - GREAT!

It's like marrying the town tart, it's great unless you insist that she wasn't and feel some sort of need to attack everyone who knew her for what she was. I'd support that too.

If you can keep that responsibility and accountability then more power to you and please post some classy pictures of you and the process along the way! 

[IAmZon]

LOL -

it doesn't matter whether you're pitching or catching, as long as you are "in the game"? Or, is that a typo?

I had to read it over a couple of times to catch it     Nope she was a beautiful women, she just wanted to be the man in the relationship 75% of the time.