scammed by yeva4u

[lonedrake]

 I do find this a little telling about who may or may not have had a good idea about the "genuine" girls intentions.

You know, I am happy she picked another guy. She is really happy with him and they are going to have a wedding soon. I have one more success story and it is the best reward for my hard work,

 Maybe its taken out of context or not what she meant.....but it makes me wonder.

[Stirlitz]

And one more thing. Please stop using the "I was scammed" excuse for your failure to win the 21 year old kid. That's all this drawn out saga is really about anyway, you camouflaging your failure by screaming scam.

This is typical. When someone cannot afford something, they call it a rip-off. When they fail to impress a woman they call her a scammer or a pro dater. Easy. This is the general approach of certain people to blame everyone around for their failures. The last person to blame is themselves.

[bruttus]

nope, i withdraw the money AFTER i noticed that she went to that guy's country, and from what i saw, well, they where more then just friends
if she treathen here friends like that, i wish that i was just a friend
that is what is bothering me, if i didn't noticed it, that money was sent to Mila, and how long would i have payed for here English lessons and threeway Cal's via skype

she meet that guy from Mexico in Feb 2012
she meets me in June 2012
i leave in July 2012 from Kharkov
couple day's in July 2012 i was founding things out and after 2 weeks watching whats going, i asked things to that girl about it
i receive answer, i really like that guy, and please forgive, from that girl
couple day's later,  when i finally got Mila on line, i complained about it
1 day later, i received a letter from that girl, that he was just a friend
she meet guy at his own country, Mexico in august 2012
i found out in second half of Sept 2012, when i found some photo's
now its march, and they going to have a wedding

Now, mine question would be, wasn't be fair towards me, if that girl didn't made up here mind already, that she was still choosing witch guy went to be here future husband, so that i have a decent chance to impres that girl from what i was worth it
Wouldn't be not more logic that this girl, because Mila knew that i was looking for a serieus girl, that after a couple dates, that this girl would say, i'm sorry, but i have no intrest in you, so i could look further
i had 7 dates with that girl, where 2 dates started from morning until evening, and these where dates 5 and 6, and according to Mila she was asking allot after me aslong if i was in Kharkov

but when i came back in mine own country, things changed, i was suddenly not importante enough for that girl, she went straight away to that guy from Mexico

Wouldn't me more serious that this girl told the truth, so i could made the decision and maybe for look for a other genuine lady, having dates with other lady's then only those 3 lady's, with the help of Mila, because i trusted here, so that we don't have this

[bruttus]

1 more thing, because i see that there are not compleetly follow
I WITHDREW the money back, AFTER i found out that she went to that guy's country
An thats the point in this, not about the girl that has found here man, but the fact that if i didn't found out and asked information about it to Mila, HOW LONG would i have payd for this, WHEN would Mila or that gal have told me this
only assume if i didn't find out, try to think that direction
answer first these questions to youreself
then try to think on this side and ask this questions on youreself
After a couple weeks when icame back home, i noticed things and i asked a explenation about whats going on to that gal
i received the answer from that gal as, please forgive me and i really like that guy
1 day after i complained to Mila about, i received from the same genuine lady, that he is just a friend
now answer this question for youreself about this changing from i like this guy to he's just a friend

The complain , and this is a tricky question
the time period
When i was in Kharkov, this gal wanted to meet me, and go out on dates with me
when i came back home, i was not even worth here time
it takes 2 weeks when i reacted, so it was 2 weeks that i was home from Kharkov
if it is not weird for any person, who reacted like this in Kharkov, or any other city, and when you are back home, that youre not worth  to that persons time, and this already in the first week when you came back home
ask this questions to youreself

the other question
Mila told me that i had to wait until this gal came back home from here trip to visiting family in Russia, because she wanted to have thinktime about if she wanted to continue oure relationship
these where the excact words from Mila
so i didn't know that this gal was going to visit that guy in Mexico
i waited 1 month before i was doing research and found out, this was already when this gal was a couple day's home
then mine question is, when i asked info about this to Mila, why was i suddenly the bad person?

think about these questions, and forget all the rest
its nothing to have between that i was scammed etc..... or she chose him and not me, its just these questions that are importante for me, these questions are for me not solved, and if anyone can answer them, feel free


 

[mies]

Yes mies, this is certainly true; and as I posted a couple of times above,  if it were just about Bruttus and the gal, then I would join others in trying  to get him to shut up and move on.

But, according to Bruttus' answers to my numbered questions above, the 'investment' was not just concerning the gal he met.

I am definitely not the one who tells Bruttus to shut up, but I do not agree that it's important to take revenge on the girl. She met Bruttus when she was in indecisive mode. Then she decided not in his favor. Hear my logic:
If the girl already was engaged to a western man (not Bruttus, but the other guy), and if she were fully certain that she would marry this other guy - she would not risk this potential marriage by "scamming" few hundred EUR worth of presents and dinners from Bruttus.
Bruttus says "I wasted my time on her" as if the girl also views his time as a precious gift. But if the girl didn't like him - his time was a nuisance to her, not a gift. And if she were all rational and scheming with Mila against Bruttus, then she had on the benefit side quite modest "investment" from Bruttus, and on the cost side - the need to spend time with the person she didn't like (I bet she values her own time, it's not completely free), plus high risk that she would lose her potential marriage and quite solid plans of relocating to a Western country. No sane and rational person would ever take such high risks for scamming few kopeecks out of revengeful Bruttus. If the girl were having second thoughts about her Western fiance, if she liked Bruttus - yes, she could have been curious to check "what if?" But purely for the dinners and money for language classes he offered? I don't think so.

[mies]

she meet that guy from Mexico in Feb 2012
she meets me in June 2012
i leave in July 2012 from Kharkov
couple day's in July 2012 i was founding things out and after 2 weeks watching whats going, i asked things to that girl about it
i receive answer, i really like that guy, and please forgive, from that girl
couple day's later,  when i finally got Mila on line, i complained about it
1 day later, i received a letter from that girl, that he was just a friend
she meet guy at his own country, Mexico in august 2012
i found out in second half of Sept 2012, when i found some photo's
now its march, and they going to have a wedding

Now, mine question would be, wasn't be fair towards me, if that girl didn't made up here mind already, that she was still choosing witch guy went to be here future husband, so that i have a decent chance to impres that girl from what i was worth it

Bruttus, read Ukrainian classics. There is one quite famous (in Ukraine) novel, which describes the courting and proposing  process in 18th-19th century. The gal had 2 suitors. One of them she loved, the other one she didn't like but he was "a good husband material" and her parents wanted him. The girl  tells the guy she likes "if you propose first, I'll accept your proposal. But if the other guy proposes first - I'll marry him." (in old Ukrainian traditions the response to proposal should be given immediately.) So the guy whom the girl liked was planning to propose, but was taking too long to prepare for it, and the girl married the second guy, the one who wasn't her first choice, but who was approved by her parents.
In your story, Bruttus, until you make a solid proposal and receive a solid answer - there are no obligations involved. She likes you - she is with you, she doesn't like you - she tells you "i'm sorry but I like another guy." What more honesty do you need? What can be more honest than "I like another guy, I'm sorry Bruttus." What other explanations may a person need? Did you expect her to write you a formal letter telling "Bruttus I will never marry you"?

Your objective is to find good wife. Her objective was to find a (good) husband. You needed time to decide, the other guy was moving faster. He got the girl. End of story.
     

Let's imagine a hypothetical situation: you are married for 10 years, probably have a child, and suddenly your wife asks for divorce. By that time you've invested huge amount of time and money into this woman, you trusted her, you were hoping to spend all your life with her. But she tells you "I like another man, I'm sorry Bruttus." What would you do then? Murder her? Try to take her to jail for what she had done?

If you must view it as an investment - then assume this one was not a good investment. You lost some money and didn't get any return.

[mies]

1 more thing, because i see that there are not compleetly follow
I WITHDREW the money back, AFTER i found out that she went to that guy's country
An thats the point in this, not about the girl that has found here man, but the fact that if i didn't found out and asked information about it to Mila, HOW LONG would i have payd for this, WHEN would Mila ... have told me this
only assume if i didn't find out,

Did Mila know this girl was visiting another guy? Can you prove she knew it? If she knew, technically, since YOU and not the girl, are her client, she should have disclosed to you this information and let you decide.

[mies]

she meet that guy from Mexico in Feb 2012
she meets me in June 2012
i leave in July 2012 from Kharkov
...in July 2012 ...that girl ...answer, "i really like that guy, and please forgive,"
in august 2012 she meet guy at his own country, Mexico
in second half of Sept 2012, .. i found some photo's
now its march, and they going to have a wedding

When did you withdraw money? In July, after she told you she liked another guy? in August? or in September after you saw her photos?

[lonedrake]

Did Mila know this girl was visiting another guy? Can you prove she knew it? If she knew, technically, since YOU and not the girl, are her client, she should have disclosed to you this information and let you decide.

 The story is so hard to follow just because bruttus does not write very good in English.

 Mila does claim the woman's marriage is one of her success stories.....which would make one believe she set them up.

 The woman told bruttus she liked another guy. Bruttus complained to Mila about this. The next day the woman changed her mind and wanted to  to spend time with bruttus. The only thing that happened after this woman told bruttus she did not want him and the next day when she wanted him......was that bruttus believes Mila had a talk with this woman and caused the woman to then agree to see him. (for whatever reason)

Thats what I have understood so far. His beef is not so much with this woman,but rather with Mila. He can correct me if I am wrong.

[Muzh]

The story is so hard to follow just because bruttus does not write very good in English.

 Mila does claim the woman's marriage is one of her success stories.....which would make one believe she set them up.

 The woman told bruttus she liked another guy. Bruttus complained to Mila about this. The next day the woman changed her mind and wanted to  to spend time with bruttus. The only thing that happened after this woman told bruttus she did not want him and the next day when she wanted him......was that bruttus believes Mila had a talk with this woman and caused the woman to then agree to see him. (for whatever reason)

Thats what I have understood so far. His beef is not so much with this woman,but rather with Mila. He can correct me if I am wrong.

I guess everyone is different.

Let's say a girl tells Mila that she wants to meet me and Mila makes arrangement for me to meet her. Then the woman tells me she really likes another man.

Well, besides being sort of hurt (egos are not made of steel, you know) I would take a few to digest this. I would call Mila and ask her if she knew this. She says no. I say, fine. End of it. If I was to use Mila's services again, I would then ask her if she knows someone that would be interested in me. I hope she already has some understanding of who I am and maybe she knows someone who would get along with me. If she doesn't know, well, thanks for your help.

This is how life works when you are looking for a mate.

The moment you start yelling scam, it means a business transaction went bad, not that you broke it off with a girl.

I mean, seriously, how many of youse went screaming scam when your high school girlfriend dumped you?

Dang, use your head. The upper one.

[ML]

I mean, seriously, how many of youse went screaming scam when your high school girlfriend dumped you?

Let's make your scenario closer to what Bruttus has written.

This high school girlfriend had accepted your invitation to the prom.

Then, unbeknownst to you, she decided to go with another boy.

You had arranged with a single business to rent you a tuxedo, a limo, and buy the corsage.  This business was owned by the girl's uncle, who knew fully well by the evening of the prom that his niece was not going to go with you.  But he, nevertheless, took all of your  money for these services and encouraged his niece to continue to flirt with you.

In Bruttus' case, do we know that service providers in fact did this?
No, we certainly do not.  But this is the issue he is raising, albeit with his somewhat garbled (at times) English.

But I realize it is easier to just keep beating up on Bruttus regarding the 'she just chose another guy' angle.

[Boethius]

If the girl had two suitors, she should not have accepted gifts, such as the bracelet, from Brutuus.  It demonstrates she has no class, at the very least.  The fact Mila chose such a classless girl for one of her clients, praising her to him, and even on this forum, as a "good girl" doesn't exactly  augment her bona fides, either.

[Muzh]

Let's make your scenario closer to what Bruttus has written.

This high school girlfriend had accepted your invitation to the prom.

Then, unbeknownst to you, she decided to go with another boy.

You had arranged with a single business to rent you a tuxedo, a limo, and buy the corsage.  This business was owned by the girl's uncle, who knew fully well by the evening of the prom that his niece was not going to go with you.  But he, nevertheless, took all of your  money for these services and encouraged his niece to continue to flirt with you.

In Bruttus' case, do we know that service providers in fact did this?
No, we certainly do not.  But this is the issue he is raising, albeit with his somewhat garbled (at times) English.

But I realize it is easier to just keep beating up on Bruttus regarding the 'she just chose another guy' angle.

Your scenario is so appropriate for this thread. Senior prom and everything else.

It would be interesting when we get to the adult part.

Besides, what do you care if the service provider did this, according to bruttus? All it MAY raise is a "Buyer Beware" sign. Would I take his warning? I don't think so. His story sounds more along the lines of your example.

[Muzh]

If the girl had two suitors, she should not have accepted gifts, such as the bracelet, from Brutuus.  It demonstrates she has no class, at the very least.  The fact Mila chose such a classless girl for one of her clients, praising her to him, and even on this forum, as a "good girl" doesn't exactly  augment her bona fides, either.

I'm sorry Boe, but what do you expect from an average girl?

If I were Mila I would chuck this as a "lesson learned" experience.

No lesson learned? Then we can talk about her bona fides.

Edit: Ooops, forgot this: 

[Faux Pas]

If the girl had two suitors, she should not have accepted gifts, such as the bracelet, from Brutuus.  It demonstrates she has no class, at the very least.  The fact Mila chose such a classless girl for one of her clients, praising her to him, and even on this forum, as a "good girl" doesn't exactly  augment her bona fides, either.

That's not the way I read it. bruttus chose the woman from previous exchanges with Mila. Asked Mila to set it up. Mila says the girl is meeting another but she will ask and woman accepts. Woman meets bruttus. Has a wonderful time bruttus wants to pay for English lessons. bruttus returns home lovelorn finds woman on FB where she is visiting dude. bruttus is heartbroken, can't accept it. The whole world is at fault for the time and money he just spent. He's been scammed by Mila and the woman. The woman has no right to fall for another after he just finished his visit. Mila should have told bruttus what the woman's every thought is. Mila should have made the woman fall for bruttus.

Bottom line is, bruttus couldn't bring enough to the table to suit the woman and win her affections. From bruttus's perspective this is unacceptable. Someone must pay because there was no match.

 

[Faux Pas]

I'm sorry Boe, but what do you expect from an average girl?

If I were Mila I would chuck this as a "lesson learned" experience.

No lesson learned? Then we can talk about her bona fides.

'zactly

[Boethius]

Muzh and Faux Pas, it is bad form, and low class, to accept a family heirloom as a gift from a man if you do not have serious intentions.


I may have missed this, but I thought Mila put the two together (as opposed to Bruno specifically asking for this girl).

[GQBlues]

WOW, what a thread!
 
It seems most everyone is saying Brutus have too much air space between the ears. Since last year, and with different agencies and women he dated, he's now getting some monies back albeit on a monthly stipend...
 
Brutus goes to Ukraine and got dates from different women. He yells 'scam', files a suit and bwalla! he's getting his money back. From that vantage point, hard to determine who really IS the scammer. The game of Takers and Givers playing all over once again.
 
Brutus, it'll be very silly for a commercial member like Mila to 'scam' you knowing you're a member of this site. Someone once adviced you on this thread that maybe leaving interational dating alone will do wonders to yourself. Heed it. Women, like men, are entitled to determine and decide what's best for themselves.

[Muzh]

Muzh and Faux Pas, it is bad form, and low class, to accept a family heirloom as a gift from a man if you do not have serious intentions.

No arguments from me. 

I may have missed this, but I thought Mila put the two together (as opposed to Bruno specifically asking for this girl).

Hey, maybe your German is better than my German. It is a very good possibility.

Very hard to follow that story. 

[Faux Pas]

Muzh and Faux Pas, it is bad form, and low class, to accept a family heirloom as a gift from a man if you do not have serious intentions.


I may have missed this, but I thought Mila put the two together (as opposed to Bruno specifically asking for this girl).

Boethuis

You seem to be missing some of the finer points of this interaction. bruttus not only gave the girl the "heirloom" (with his name on it btw) but insisted she keep it. She didn't want it and tried to return it. bruttus never paid for English lessons. The girl never took English lessons and bruttus took the money back from the paypal.

The girl rejected bruttus. Cold hard facts all men have dealt with at some juncture of their lives. bruttus has a difficult time accepting this one invariable fact. There doesn't appear from any of the information provided that there was any misleading or scam.

bruttus has attempted to soil this woman's reputation (a woman he wanted btw) and tarnish a commercial member's reputation because he can't deal with rejection.

IMHO, bruttus should apologize to both the woman and to Mila for opening this thread and attempting to spread falsehoods about them. I have no dog in this hunt but, this is the very same thing mentioned in other recent threads where jilted men go to scam lists and post pics and women of the ones who dumped them claiming scam.

[Boethius]

I missed that the girl didn't want the bracelet but admit, it is too taxing during my workday to try to decipher brutus' posts.

[YoungBuck]

I was dating two local girls at the same time a few years ago: no sex, and when I decided which girl I liked better, the other one got the boot. Nothing new here, and no scam. Now, we have a rule, whoever asks you out pays, so I paid. In this instance, you asked out and you paid, but she was dating two guys. A scammer or pro-dater she is not, but she was hedging her bets. Telling she loves you, sleeping with you, and asking for expensive treats would be a different story...she did neither so that's why many here feel you are wrong to complain.

What makes international dating more difficult is the sunk costs. Local girls you spend a few bucks on coffee, drinks or lunch, but international is obviously going to be more expensive and mentally taxing. Can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

Just be glad you recovered some money, and dust off and go at it again.

By the way, there's a starting out guide, and I would recommend Elenasmodels because I actually read the girl's profiles, and they seem to be the most down to earth, albeit a little less glamorous on average, than the other sites.

[Muzh]

^ That 

[Faux Pas]

I was dating two local girls at the same time a few years ago: no sex, and when I decided which girl I liked better, the other one got the boot. Nothing new here, and no scam. Now, we have a rule, whoever asks you out pays, so I paid. In this instance, you asked out and you paid, but she was dating two guys. A scammer or pro-dater she is not, but she was hedging her bets. Telling she loves you, sleeping with you, and asking for expensive treats would be a different story...she did neither so that's why many here feel you are wrong to complain.

What makes international dating more difficult is the sunk costs. Local girls you spend a few bucks on coffee, drinks or lunch, but international is obviously going to be more expensive and mentally taxing. Can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

Just be glad you recovered some money, and dust off and go at it again.

By the way, there's a starting out guide, and I would recommend Elenasmodels because I actually read the girl's profiles, and they seem to be the most down to earth, albeit a little less glamorous on average, than the other sites.

For a relatively new youngbuck on the scene, you are learning fast 

[mies]

If the girl had two suitors, she should not have accepted gifts, such as the bracelet, from Brutuus.  It demonstrates she has no class, at the very least.  The fact Mila chose such a classless girl for one of her clients, praising her to him, and even on this forum, as a "good girl" doesn't exactly  augment her bona fides, either.

I missed the part about the "family" bracelet. All of it.