Expat Tales

[ECOCKS]

So, thought I would make a thread and periodically post up some interesting expat stories (with relationships) for discussion fodder. I know enough of them to go a month or so I'd expect, depending on the discussion pace and interest.
 
 A posting in another thread that expats "invariably" go home made me think about those I know who have turned their backs on their homelands and become permanent residents of other countries. "Going native" was the old-fashioned way they were referred to by Jack London, Louis L'Amour and Rudyard Kipling in their yarns of grizzled old salts, traders and gone-to-seed remittance men (those paid by their families to stay away and not bring further embarrassment on the family). For whatever reason, there are those who never go back.
 
 There's Dr. "Ric" for instance. He was a cargo forwarder in the Caribbean for 20+ years before coming to Saint Petersburg in the early 90's. Like many in his generation he had served in the military (Enlisted, Navy), gotten out and gone to school. He picked up his Bachelors degree in Business Management, followed by a JD in law (hence the "Doctor" title afforded by the University and students).
 
 He wasn't interested in being in a suit so he became a contract specialist for a shipping company, eventually leaving NY and going south to the islands. In Puerto Rico he married for a few years but for one reason or another they divorced. Regrettably, his wife had a baby a few months later whom he acknowledged as his but only saw a few times, the last being when she was nine. He eventually left the shipping companies and went to Saint Pete to start his own forwarding and consolidation business. Naturally he fell under the charms of a lovely Russian widow and settled in for the long-term. At that time he occasionally went back to visit his parents in NY but was seemingly committed to was setting up a logistics business. Interestingly, he was also teaching logistical organization at the Leningrad Naval Academy.
 
 The story takes another bitter turn when his wife was diagnosed with cancer and died in the late 90's. Hurt, generally alone, he picked up and moved to Ukraine. There he began teaching English and working on occasional project contracts with Russian and Ukrainian companies while occasionally writing papers for logistical association magazines and even a small textbook on logistical organization.
 
 It was a bit of luck for him when he was hired to teach business at another university in Kyiv. Even better was a lovely Ukrainian woman who worked in the business office. Ric was quite the spark and eventually was dating her then remarried around 2001. In 2005 it was discovered she also had cancer, a tough blow for both of them.
 
 I met him in 2006 and was indebted to him for helping me get on teaching Business Management in the MBA program there. He was still lively although he was 77 at that time. they had removed a kidney in early 2005 and he was leading a quiet life but seemed happy. He taught, drank coffee with his friends and took care of his wife and her mother (whom he had a really rough relationship with). His wife died in 2007, the mother in 2008. The family fought with him over ownership of the apartment, eventually agreeing he owned half but making life stressful with the MIL still there, bed-ridden.  His work at the University suffered and he eventually resigned and gradually began to become more introverted.
 
 A couple of weeks before I left Ukraine for what I thought was a short vacation in the States, I met him and a half-dozen students and friends down on Kreshatyk for coffee and breakfast one Sunday morning in January. He was trying hard to be the old Ric but seemed tired and a bit more withdrawn than usual.
 
 I didn't get back to Ukraine from that trip due to legal and family health issues but we Skyped a couple of times a month. He was worried about the remaining copies of his Logistics book and seemed bitterly lonely. I emailed a couple of friends suggesting they re-institute the Sunday morning meetings and try to stay in touch with him. In January I learned that a family member (wife's) had discovered his body in the apartment the week before Thanksgiving, a few days after he apparently died in his sleep. If my memory is right, he was 82 or 83.
 
 I know he loved both his FSUW dearly, detested the political, legal and business climate and generally viewed the majority of the FSU business people he met as criminals. He didn't think much of most other expats and his opinion of the wife-hunters who came through town in shorts and sandals with socks was even lower. Strangely, he still laughed about playing the business games in the FSU and I think it kept him on his toes for years figuring out the new environment he had found.

[ML]

Great story; thanks for sharing ECOCKS.

[The Natural]

Yes, this is very interesting and if you have more, please let them come.

[Misha]

Honestly, this is not how I would want to spend the last years of my life. A good example why expats would want to move away if they can.

[ECOCKS]

Yes, this is very interesting and if you have more, please let them come.

You'll get a kick out of the next one, Canadian woman, Ukrainian man, child and a reverse age gap.

[IAmZon]

I worked with a Canadian in Miami many years ago ... and every time anyone came up with a new or innovative idea, he would say:"Let's try it!  We are not potted plants."


Great story - a life well lived.

[ECOCKS]

Here's one a bit different than might be expected.......

Then there's Susan. A Canadian woman from Saskatchewan, Scotch-English descent, red-haired, mid-30's, Bachelors and Masters (one was Political Science the other was Sociology), married to a Ukrainian man 5 years younger and they have a son, 5 years old. They presently live in a small town (pop. 20,000 or so) west of Rivne.

Susan came to Ukraine to polish up her Russian language skills and hoped to go to work eventually with the Canadian government as what we in the States would call a FSO (Foreign Service Officer). While here, she met and married a younger Ukrainian man, Alex. Alex seems okay really. He's a bit distant and seems (to me at least) uninterested in westerners. The exception was that when he met someone that was into art or photography his interest would be evident for a bit but usually the language problems gradually slowed communications down until he would just grow quiet. He seemed pleasant as far as I could tell the times we would be in a group having a beer and pizza but just was sort of disconnected from the social flow.

After marrying, they were in Ukraine for a year or so, then moved back to Canada (small town in the north central area) and lived for a bit over a year and a half. One day Alex informed Susan that he was just not happy trying to live there anymore and was returning to Ukraine. As best as I can tell, the language acquisition was particularly difficult for him along with no work other than simple physical labor. He returned, followed a couple of months later by Susan when she learned she was pregnant.

Fluent in Russian and French, pretty good in Ukrainian and working on a couple of others, Susan landed work as an editor for a religious group magazine and a newsletter. The magazine is based out of Moscow and the newsletter out of Paris and, other than taking a trip to Moscow every 2-3 months for a week of meetings, she apparently gets by pretty well. She did pick up a CELTA and consider teaching English as a fallback but so far has never had to resort to trying to get by teaching English. She also picks up some translation work for businesses and individuals trying to submit articles for publication.

Last I heard, Alex does his photography studies and hopes to sell prints to tourists in Western Ukraine as well as the normal sort of work photographers hope to do locally. Despite having the paperwork to be a permanent resident in Canada, he has no desire to return there and they concentrate on fixing up the house they currently are living in with his mother and their 5 year old child.

[Chicagoguy]

I know it happens in the U.S. and I imagine in Canada also where the foreigner is asked " Well, how do you like it here ?" Sort of an implied thought that this is the land of milk and honey and we rescued them. And Alex had the nerve to go home. Of all places.
When my wife gets that question she is such a sweetheart that she doesn't really see it IF that is their purpose. Often it is just a conversation starter but not always. But she replies truthfully that the only reason she is here is because of me. She was very happy before but just wanted a husband. And not a Russian.
My hat is off to all those that can adapt to another country, language and culture. Like Alex's wife.

[mendeleyev]

I was walking home from the Metro station toward our apartment this past autumn as temps were changing and it was getting cold in the evenings. In a hurry while walking on the sidewalk, I noticed a policia car slowing down just behind me.

The car pulled over just a few strides ahead and the passenger window rolled down. Knowing better than to ignore the obvious, I slowed and stepped over to the window. The thought running thru my mind was that I had a camera case, large enough to notice and it would be easy to see someone with a large camera and figure them for a tourist. Underneath the light jacket around my neck were my credentials from the foreign ministry so I knew that they could be used if needed.

There was only one officer in the car and to my amusement he glanced over and asked for directions. This apartment is new (to us) and as with most Moscow districts the local streets are a confusing maze until you really get to know the  neighborhood.

So I answered in Russian, truthfully, that I didn't know the address he had requested. To my pleasant surprise he chuckled and in very good English thanked me and whipped back into the lane and sped off into the evening.

[ECOCKS]

Russian map and direction skills are practically non-existent.

[acrzybear]

And they say men never ask for directions-lol

[mendeleyev]

From the Mendeleyev Journal's section of Stories of Life in Russia:

Pepsi Cola (Russian: Пепси кола) was the first USA product sold in the Soviet Union. How did that happen? In 1972 when the State Department and Pepsi negotiated a deal with the Soviets to trade Pepsi for Stolichnaya vodka. They got Pepsi, the USA got vodka. (Thanks to ML for the correction.)




At first Pepsi was not allowed to advertise in Soviet media but discovered a way to advertise by sponsoring tickets for sporting and cultural events. Later they built the brand by taking the product to the streets, literally, first with 73 distinctive blue, white and red kiosks in Moscow around subway stations and other high-traffic spots. The first year each kiosk sold an average of 4,000 daily servings at the dollar equivalent 20 "kopeks" or about 40 cents each at the time.

Later Pepsi was granted permission to put metal vending machines in select underground subway locations. Just as mineral water was sold from Soviet vending dispensers, the Pepsi flowed into glass cups that were shared by the public.




In 1990 the Russians couldn't pay their Pepsi bill so they made a trade deal: Pepsi got double the amount of vodka that year plus 10 old Soviet Navy ships.
   

[Chicagoguy]

And then Pepsi begat Pizza Hut ?

[Ronnie]

Been living in Odessa now for 13 months.  I've always figured that I, like most westerners, stick out like sore thumb.  I still wear the clothes I brought with me from the states.

For the first 12 months, no one took me for a local.  Now something strange is happening.  I've been stopped in the same square near my home three times in the past week and asked for directions, something that had never happened before. 

The scary thing is I was able to successfully direct two of the three enquirers.   

[ML]

From the Mendeleyev Journal's section of Stories of Life in Russia:

Pepsi Cola (Russian: Пепси кола) was the first USA product sold in the Soviet Union. How did that happen? In 1982 President Reagan negotiated a deal with the Soviets to trade Pepsi for Stolichnaya vodka. They got Pepsi, the USA got vodka.
 

Better double check your facts on the date Mendy.

It was 16 Nov 1972.  Richard Nixon was president.

But it was a deal directly between Pepsi and USSR.

[acctBill]

Been living in Odessa now for 13 months.  I've always figured that I, like most westerners, stick out like sore thumb.  I still wear the clothes I brought with me from the states.

For the first 12 months, no one took me for a local.  Now something strange is happening.  I've been stopped in the same square near my home three times in the past week and asked for directions, something that had never happened before. 

The scary thing is I was able to successfully direct two of the three enquirers.

It's your body language.  Unconsciously you've adapted your body language to something close to local standards.  When I lived in Germany at first everyone knew I was a foreigner but after 6 months or so I began to notice locals, those who didn't already know me, treating me like a local.  I was asked for directions, people would start conversations with me on the bus, etc.  Unconsciously I had learned to blend in.

As for the American clothes, I would bet even in Odessa you've seen locals wearing American clothing, if not American then certainly European clothing.  Women in French or Italian clothing are common in any large city in the FSU. Ukrainian men will wear shirts or jackets with logos from their favourite sports teams or athletic brands.   

[Anotherkiwi]

...Now something strange is happening.  I've been stopped in the same square near my home three times in the past week and asked for directions, something that had never happened before. 

The scary thing is I was able to successfully direct two of the three enquirers.

I found this on my last trip to Russia and Ukraine as well - don't know why, as I think that I look reasonably Western, but it was the same everywhere from St Petersburg to Odessa!  Unfortunately, being just a tourist, I was never able to help  .

[mendeleyev]

ML, thank you. It was 1972.

The deal was facilitated by the Administration/US State Department with Pepsi trading for Stolichnaya vodka since Rubles were not convertible on the world market.