AM and RW ... are we compatible?

[Boethius]

Still not at the extremes of either parties from what I am gleaning :x

Their political views are polar opposites.  They often appear together on political news shows.

[Daveman]

There are many typical American patterns in how people here act and think (regardless the "country of origin")

ah HA! So you finally admit you have adopted some typical American patterns!!! 

[CG7]

Partial integration?
 It is what is so nice about the USA, only a little work to intigrate is needed.
  We do value the individualistic ideal.
 ha buy a gun, have one sip of the local brew and your in like Flynn.

[Doll]

ah HA! So you finally admit you have adopted some typical American patterns!!! 

Оспидяяяяяяяя!
We all adopt, but we don't have to do it because "American husbands" want it.
Dave, I actually mean that people who were born here have certain typical patterns in behavior, that are very foreign for those who come here. We are talking of RW-immigrants.
Like I said before, my husband now and then like to say that I "married in" (the culture). I answer that I "married him" but not "married in".

[Doll]

Partial integration?
 It is what is so nice about the USA, only a little work to intigrate is needed.
   .

This is what YOU think. You need to try to be in our shoes.
I've been living here for more than 10 years, but there are things I will never accept.

[CG7]

But hey each to their own, even here in my little city, I can visit many little places in the world, about 5 min. by car.

 Doll, what do you do, Hang in the Russian enclave?
 That is OK by me, already seeing I really do not accept you, but it's all good.
 What ever rolls your sock down.

[Doll]

  Doll, what do you do, Hang in the Russian enclave?
 

Б-гг
You asked a question and you answered it yourself. Typical American thing BTW.

[Daveman]

Оспидяяяяяяяя!

Is that pronounced ospidyaaaaaaaa? or ospidyayayayayayaya? 

We all adopt, but we don't have to do it because "American husbands" want it.
Dave, I actually mean that people who were born here have certain typical patterns in behavior, that are very foreign for those who come here. We are talking of RW-immigrants.
Like I said before, my husband now and then like to say that I "married in" (the culture). I answer that I "married him" but not "married in".

I understand.


Doll, I really do agree with you that AM and RW are incompatible.   At least a gazillion times with RW I thought "WHAT is WRONG with you????" Okay, that's exaggerated.  Realistically only a third of a gazillion.  With AW, that only happened about a quarter of a gazillion.


And there's a difference right there..  I actually did think that ... and also *heard* it... 

[CG7]

Doll, it would be intresting to read what you find unacceptable.

[Doll]

Doll, it would be intresting to read what you find unacceptable.

I would say something if you were not rude. You were.
(see?????? )

[Misha]

Their political views are polar opposites.  They often appear together on political news shows.

Both are compatible enough to mutually promote each other's career 

[Boethius]

I think that is an unfair judgment.  They have been together over two decades.  Their relationship is obviously about more than their political beliefs or their careers.

The original point was merely that Americans with diametrically opposed political beliefs can be happily married. 

[CG7]

I would say something if you were not rude. You were.
(see?????? )

 Doll I would apology's, but not aware of my rudeness, it was unintentional, I do tend to be blunt and out spoken, and few get my humor.
 But please do inform us of the parts you find unacceptable.

[Doll]

Doll I would apology's, but not aware of my rudeness, it was unintentional, I do tend to be blunt and out spoken, and few get my humor.
 But please do inform us of the parts you find unacceptable.

You just do not know Russians! 

[OlgaH]

I don't think there is a homogenous reaction to emigration...

 It must be lived, I think, to be understood.

I agree, Boethius, it is a very individual process. I also can understand your husband. I have people in Russia I love, but if you take them from Russia there will not be any reason for me to go back. Second time when I went to Russia my friends asked me when we were walking along the street "Olga, what are you smiling at?"    I like how strangers passing by in the US say "hi" to each other and throw out of blue "I like your dress!". I also like that I don't have to prove that I'm not "a camel" when I return or exchange some goods. 

I have not had any problem during my adjustment in the US, but honestly, now I have a problem when I arrive to our Russian airports...  I miss smiles, cleanness...

Time to time I cook borsch, pelmeni, Russian blini, cutlets.  Maybe once in two-three months... or four-six  ,  Robert loves some Russian cuisine but we both don't have daily craving for it. For Easter we had fettuccine and mussels.

There were occurrences when some strangers started to talk to me in French or Spanish, it was interesting.

[CG7]

You just do not know Russians! 

 Yes, of course.
  I only live with one, you would not like her, she worked hard to intigrate here, but not to please any one but herself, she minces no words, just much nicer then me by 100 fold, better educated also, takes most folk a few days to know they have been insulted by her, when she chooses to do so.
 Very rarely thank god, she is so classy and such a sweet heart.
 But still would be intrested to read your opinion on the unacceptable, if you choose to share it of course.

[Misha]

I think that is an unfair judgment.  They have been together over two decades.  Their relationship is obviously about more than their political beliefs or their careers.

The original point was merely that Americans with diametrically opposed political beliefs can be happily married.

As usual, Beothius, you are soooooo literal. The point that I was trying to make was that two Americans could be more incompatible than an AM and a RW    Let's see, the hypothetical example I specified was a "Democrat, Unitarian Universalist, anti-war Occupy Wall Street protestor" Carville may be a Democrat, but based on the little that I know, he does not fit the latter. I am not sure whether his wife is a card carrying member of the NRA and she does not seem to be a strict Protestant American either.

I, for one, do not believe that compatibility is determined solely by nationality and ethnicity, no matter how poetic the concept of the national soul may be. I will cite the case of Blues Fairy. She hasn't posted here in a while, but she is pretty much the polar opposite of the "character" that Doll is trying to depict as central to being Russian. 

[pitbull]

I am sure they want   Then they both have to agree on it before she is here.

Exactly my point!  There are many resouces including the e-book on this site that describes the FSU culture.  What I was suggesting something similar that describes American culture from the eyes of a RW that knows both cultures and lives in the US from personal experience.  It would allow the parties to discuss the topic from something prepared in advance rather than every man trying to descibe the culture from only an American persective.

This might make a disservice to many RW.
The best thing about the US is that there are so many segments, and subcultures that one can choose and associate with.
For example a woman marrying a conservative, religious middle-aged gun owner and truck driver from a small town in Texas, who is convinced everything American is the best and never went to college, will experience a very different culture than the one marrying an East Coast college professor.

[newjason]

Personally I find myself more compatible with FSU immigrants than I do with most Americans.
Most of my Friends are from the FSU.
My 2 Longest relationships were with FSU women for a total of 12 years.
Keep in mind that I met these fine FSU people locally and they had already immigrated.

Alot of this had to do with the fact that I took a genuine interest in their FSU culture and I put fourth the effort to learn to speak Russian on my own, so that I could "fit in" with the FSU social groups. 
Once they saw that I was eager and making an effort, they were happy to teach me all I wanted to learn and that alone has given me some life long friends. It has also given us all a better understanding that we are really not so different after all.



BTW , Where is the OP?   

[OlgaH]

The best thing about the US is that there are so many segments, and subcultures that one can choose and associate with.

+1

[Misha]

This might make a disservice to many RW.
The best thing about the US is that there are so many segments, and subcultures that one can choose and associate with.

+1 Additionally, there is no unified Russian culture either as there are many Russian subcultures as well.

[newjason]

+1 Additionally, there is no unified Russian culture either as there are many Russian subcultures as well.

+2

[Boethius]

As usual, Beothius, you are soooooo literal. The point that I was trying to make was that two Americans could be more incompatible than an AM and a RW    Let's see, the hypothetical example I specified was a "Democrat, Unitarian Universalist, anti-war Occupy Wall Street protestor" Carville may be a Democrat, but based on the little that I know, he does not fit the latter. I am not sure whether his wife is a card carrying member of the NRA and she does not seem to be a strict Protestant American either.

I, for one, do not believe that compatibility is determined solely by nationality and ethnicity, no matter how poetic the concept of the national soul may be. I will cite the case of Blues Fairy. She hasn't posted here in a while, but she is pretty much the polar opposite of the "character" that Doll is trying to depict as central to being Russian.

Then use a more valid example. 


I can only respond to words on a screen, and I responded to the example you posted.  I don't happen to believe those are of importance to a successful relationship, and the example I noted is evidence thereof.



I don't happen to believe compatibility is based on nationality or ethnicity either.  It is more about core values. 

BTW, Matlin is an NRA supporter, and, as I noted in my first riposte, she is Catholic.

[pitbull]

This might make a disservice to many RW.
The best thing about the US is that there are so many segments, and subcultures that one can choose and associate with.
For example a woman marrying a conservative, religious middle-aged gun owner and truck driver from a small town in Texas, who is convinced everything American is the best and never went to college, will experience a very different culture than the one marrying an East Coast college professor.

Also, just to add more from my personal experience and that of my RW girlfriends in the US. I feel that there are two major factors that come into play in compatibility within relationships, international or otherwise: sharing a common language and a social-educational background.
Due to the nature of my job and the city I live in, I've met a lot of very educated people who speak English well. I can tell you that I have much more in common with and can find many more suitable mates among PhDs from almost any culture, than (for example) high-school educated construction workers from my own country of origin.

[OlgaH]

+1 Additionally, there is no unified Russian culture either as there are many Russian subcultures as well.

Misha, I think "Russian Federation culture" would be more correct than just Russian