Dating AW (kisses, sex, qualities)

[AmericanBoy]

Got curious and decided to ask.
A question to the men who used to date AW in the US. How soon would you expect to have the first kiss (on  lips), sex, how much time do you need to realize that you are ready to propose and what are the main qualities women MUST have that persuade you that she will be a good wife?

Maybe I'm the best guy to answer this question since I was never on the hunt for a wife. With most of the girls I've been with I never dated them and it was usually alcohol fueled that led to everything or at least I slept and kissed them before dating. But I have no expectations on time, just let it happen I guess.

In terms quality. I like girls that are sweet an innocent. I honestly don't like girls that are super pretty, they seem to be really stuck up. I like a simple but pretty girl. Physically I love a girl with a butt. That feature is an absolute must. Perfect girl for me is 160-165cm, 120 lbs. good butt, almost no chest and a good heart. Once I find this girl again, I'll marry her and die a happy man

and for proposal. I'm not getting married until I'm 40 =D. That's what I always told my last gf.

[BC]

Maybe I'm the best guy to answer this question since I was never on the hunt for a wife. With most of the girls I've been with I never dated them and it was usually alcohol fueled that led to everything or at least I slept and kissed them before dating. But I have no expectations on time, just let it happen I guess.

In terms quality. I like girls that are sweet an innocent. I honestly don't like girls that are super pretty, they seem to be really stuck up. I like a simple but pretty girl. Physically I love a girl with a butt. That feature is an absolute must. Perfect girl for me is 160-165cm, 120 lbs. good butt, almost no chest and a good heart. Once I find this girl again, I'll marry her and die a happy man

and for proposal. I'm not getting married until I'm 40 =D. That's what I always told my last gf.

Really good advice and approach..  I think a lot more guys would benefit from not trying to get married.  As for the bold part, doubt many here will argue that point.. lol.

You have the advantage luxury of being young so enjoy.  Do try to get the best from what is passed to you here though.. If I only knew what I know now in my younger years....

At least you're not out there robbing cradles.

[Gylden]

Really good advice and approach..  I think a lot more guys would benefit from not trying to get married.  As for the bold part, doubt many here will argue that point.. lol.

You have the advantage luxury of being young so enjoy.  Do try to get the best from what is passed to you here though.. If I only knew what I know now in my younger years....

At least you're not out there robbing cradles.

Funny how you don't get to appreaciate this until you are older!!   LOL

[LAman]

It's called....hindsight is 20/20

[2tallbill]

Of course I do, I lived in  a real one and it didn't work out.
I am trying a dream one now.
Thank you for your opinion though.

[edit I read MsV's introduction thread]

This is where Bill gets into trouble by telling the truth.


I don't know your story or your situation, obviously everyone else does
because they don't ask you
1. Your age?
2. Age of the man you are seeking?
3. What kind of city in Texas? village or city?
4. How hot are you?


My answers would be different depending on what the circumstances are.
If you are dating 28 year old American men in San Francisco I would give
you different advice than if you are dating 50 year old men in Texas.


If you find a man who you want to be intimate with then your safest option
is to march him and yourself down to the doctor, get scraped, poked and
some blood drawn to get a clean bill of health then still insist on Condoms.


Regarding the hot question, the hotter you are the more demanding you can
be. If you are a believer you can probably find guys who will be more willing
to wait before chasing you around the bed with your knickers on their head
at the local church, synagogue, church group etc.

If you are a Plain Jane Atheist with a weight problem seeking AM in their
twenties then you have more limited options but they still exist. Seek out
your inner geek. All across the USA / Canada there are men who are decent
people but are shy and lack a ton of social skills


You can find them, (they invented the internet) all you will have to do is to
get in touch with your inner geek. Science and technology fairs and forums,
chat rooms etc.   


Udachi !


Bill

[Vasilisa]

In terms quality. I like girls that are sweet an innocent. I honestly don't like girls that are super pretty, they seem to be really stuck up. I like a simple but pretty girl. Physically I love a girl with a butt. That feature is an absolute must. Perfect girl for me is 160-165cm, 120 lbs. good butt, almost no chest and a good heart. Once I find this girl again, I'll marry her and die a happy man

.

Sounds almost like me, but since I 've lost weight and below your weight limit now the butt got flat

[Vasilisa]

Regarding the hot question, the hotter you are the more demanding you can
be.

Thank you for the post, actually I've met a lot of very beautiful RW in Russia with the same philosophy who at some point complain why all decent handsome guys married plain Janes and they are still single.

[2tallbill]

Thank you for the post, actually I've met a lot of very beautiful RW in Russia with the same philosophy who at some point complain why all decent handsome guys married plain Janes and they are still single.

The advice / opinion in my earlier post was in regard to the USA. The
perception of scarcity of beautiful women in the USA and the FSU are
not even remotely similar. 

[Aloe]

AW: omg  my head hurts so bad.

AM: are you ok?

AW: yes, I am fine. Don't worry about me.

AM:  ok.

AW: what? why are you not worrying about me?

AM: you said not to..

AW: I know what I said.  But you need to worry about me.  and I should not have to tell you. you should just do it.

AM: BUt, you said NOT TO.

AW: If  you really loved me, you would worry about me, and I would never  have to tell you, it makes me feel like you dont' care about me because you neve listen to me.

Get the idea?

Fffffffsss. That is not AW, that's just a WOMAN . Possibly a very bored woman. I do stuff like that when i feel like picking on my huns and making him desperate. Poor thing falls right into it, EVERY TIME. It's funny, really. Minus the "if you really loved me" part, that part is just lame and not to be used. The rest is just funny Men are so easy to catch in a word trap like that Make sure your woman isn't bored out of her mind if you wanna avoid these
 I do tell him i was messing with him afterwards though. although im sure he knows that from my giggling 

[newjason]

Fffffffsss. That is not AW, that's just a WOMAN . Possibly a very bored woman. I do stuff like that when i feel like picking on my huns and making him desperate. Poor thing falls right into it, EVERY TIME. It's funny, really. Minus the "if you really loved me" part, that part is just lame and not to be used. The rest is just funny Men are so easy to catch in a word trap like that Make sure your woman isn't bored out of her mind if you wanna avoid these
 I do tell him i was messing with him afterwards though. although im sure he knows that from my giggling 

Makes a great way to kill off a boring weekend   LOL

Aloe you are too much..   

BTW how is that piano practice coming along?

[Aloe]

Makes a great way to kill off a boring weekend   LOL

Aloe you are too much..   

BTW how is that piano practice coming along?

Not good, exams at uni are very soon, and i feel too guilty doing anything except studying and procrastinating. So that's all i'm doing, mostly procrastinating, and sometimes a little studying.

[Kuna]

Got curious and decided to ask.
A question to the men who used to date AW in the US. How soon would you expect to have the first kiss (on  lips), sex, how much time do you need to realize that you are ready to propose and what are the main qualities women MUST have that persuade you that she will be a good wife?

Firstly, the answers from most of the men in here are really disturbing - at least to me.

I'm really not sure what sort of lifestyles most have led... and what their hang-ups are...  but with the benefit of hindsight I look back on my own life and the lives of my friends (male and female) and see a clear pattern...  but maybe it's just my group of friends.

I'll try to relate some of my observations to your questions:

1. "How soon would you expect to have the first kiss (on  lips)"

It really depends on the moment... the type of kiss...  the people...  their readiness... and their willingness.

Men with brittle ego's or poor intentions will secretly demand some action early on.  Getting action early on makes them feel virile and WANTED...  but this is probably not the type of guy you're looking for (based on what I understand from what you have written).

If you were to "connect" with someone based on what you are looking for - then you will be comfortable kissing at your own pace.

It's nice if that synchronises perfectly with your mate/date...  but if there is a connection and you make him wait it can make the kiss even better when it happens.

If your mate/date is too impatient...  he's probably going to be too impatient for MANY things inside of a relationship, so having him wait until you're ready is not a bad thing.

I've kissed women/girls before I've even spoken to them...  but my mind was no where near seeking a relationship.  If you are ready to enter a relationship you won't be "smashing" the next girl you bump into. 


2.  Sex???

Same thing as above IMHO...  for some people they choose to wait a month or so and that is enough waiting for them...  at other times it might happen quickly (or more slowly) but you can't measure it on a calendar (or a stopwatch by the way) - nor should you.  It depends on your VALUES and when considering an intimate relationship with someone VALUES are what is important.

Some of the dudes above talking about their expectations around their virile loins are hardly ready for a relationship - they are desperately seeking someone to stroke their ego.

I went through a stage of actively avoiding sex while dating because I'd been through a phase when I was too active and grew impatient (to stay) or bored almost straight after the first intimate encounter...  when I was actively avoiding it something miraculous happened:

1. I was dating women who I ended up not even finding remotely attractive because I was aware of their personalities not just their bodies, and;

2. When actively avoiding sex most Australian girls (though the same can be said for English, Irish, South Afridan, German, Dutch, Asian and other girls I met) will almost force it on you because they want to prove they can (and then you end up moving on anyway).  Some strange things happened during that time which I won't go into here - but it's a strange world when a man actively voids sex while he is actively dating.

Sex IMHO is best initiated ONLY when you've entered a trusting relationship...  if the guys need to get a load off there is plenty of opportunity for that but it's unlikely to be the start of a longterm relationship (though it does happen)... it all depends on YOU - not what others expect!


3.  Marriage
I have a theory and I would argue it out with anyone over a bottle of wine (or two)...  but it may not translate well in writing.

Men (I believe), go through phases of *want to settle down* and *want to play around*...  some men don't have as much opportunity to *play around* as others... and some men will actively avoid *wanting to settle down* so they will always be trying to *play around* (even if they're not getting much quality action).

OK,  I'll take this slowly... it could be confusing...   

If the PERFECT girl meets the PERFECT BLOKE when he is in his *playing around* phase there is little she can do to get him to STOP the playing around (even if it only playing around with her). 

I've done it myself and can think of a few situations where I moved on from a perfectly compatible girl just because I knew there was another "hot babe" just around the corner.

Finding love and compatibility has an element of luck...  I believe modern Australian women/girls also go through these phases because they have options...  some might *play around* but not "put out"...  but if a guy is in a phase where he is open to *settling down* and he meets a women/girl who is ready to *settle down* then BINGO - it happens... there is no need for a decision - it just happens.

The new couple will compromise because that is fair and reasonable.  When people are simply not ready to settle down they don't compromise... they just move on.

I have female friends that went through *playing around* phases (though most not in a s!utty way) for way too long... or maybe timing was not on their side... but eventually they got it right.  Some didn't "get it right" and are now aging,  lonely and a little bitter if I'm honest.

Likewise,  I have male friends who went through the same thing and some are turning into aging bums because they couldn't turn around their bad behaviour.

One of the most miraculous things was finding out two friends of mine who didn't know each other ended up together - and I know for a fact both acted (at times) like filthy whores before they met each other but to see them together you'd think they'd always been the perfect respectable couple.

The female in the couple even went as far as to ask me NEVER to tell her now husband about her/our past - which I never would... but I think it's funny because she would be more shocked at his past.  We're blokes though, we don't need to ask each other never to speak about our pasts.   

... but I digress...

Ultimately,  I think NOT bumping into barbarians is impossible whether they are in the USA, Australia or in FSU - maybe these men are just in their *playing around* phase... maybe they are just meat-heads???.  Either way, my advice to respectable females is to be sure of what you want (but don't be unreasonable) and stick to those values/conditions/criteria and don't let any man make you feel like you "should" do something when you don't feel like it.

Men here will complain constantly about local women without accepting any responsibility for the sh!tty things we've done to women in our past...  I think a decent approach is at least to acknowledge we're all capable of crappy behaviour and we need to get over that type of behaviour before we're ready for serious relationship. A decent woman is not going to accept bad behaviour - but a desperate woman will.

If you're lucky you'll find what you are looking for... if you don't,  you are even luckier for sticking to your guns IMHO.

Good luck... I hope you can avoid the meat-heads and find a compatible man who is ready for something serious.

As for timing...  the only thing that matters is that YOU are comfortable.

*steps down off soapbox*

[Ranetka]

Kuna:   

[Daveman]

Kuna:   

+1


one of the best posts in recent memory

[Eduard]

good post, Kuna.

[Vasilisa]

Thank you, Kuna.

[TheTraveler]

great, great post, kuna!

[ECOCKS]

Well said. You bring out the reality that relationships and women aren't really all that different no matter which continent you are on when you find them.

+10 and worth a section in any of the How to Meet and Marry the FSUW of Your Dreams books out there.....

[Gator]

Kuna, a very interesting opinion about the psychology of dating, sex and marriage.   The experience of my long years raises a couple of questions.  I recognize that I am old and hence old fashioned, but consider two points please.

If the PERFECT girl meets the PERFECT BLOKE when he is in his *playing around* phase there is little she can do to get him to STOP the playing around (even if it only playing around with her). 

Please........ as if this never happened to you or any of your friends.    More than a hormonal reaction.  More than a second hand emotion.
 

Finding love and compatibility has an element of luck... but if a guy is in a phase where he is open to *settling down* and he meets a women/girl who is ready to *settle down* then BINGO - it happens... there is no need for a decision - it just happens.

Don't know about this either.    Sounds like a bus scroll - unless it reads "Settling Down"  the bus will never go to the Wedding Chapel.   
 
BTW, where is the love?  Or is it, who needs love;  just be grateful that you found someone willing to settle down with you.  It sounds like hanging a "Wife Vacancy" sign around one's neck.   
 
Maybe you are right, but is it right when we have a 50% divorce rate?  Ignore that last one as I believe courting and divorce are independent in most cases.

[ECOCKS]

I don't know.

I would say that poor courting "technique", "process", whatever is a major contributing factor to the divorce rate.....

[Gator]

I don't know.

I would say that poor courting "technique", "process", whatever is a major contributing factor to the divorce rate.....

For sure you are correct with regard to the basic issue of whether two people have spent enough time together to know each other.  I am thinking about concepts such as friends first, love at first sight, blind date, etc. ('knowing each other' is a given).

[ECOCKS]

For sure you are correct with regard to the basic issue of whether two people have spent enough time together to know each other.  I am thinking about concepts such as friends first, love at first sight, blind date, etc. ('knowing each other' is a given).

The exception i am taking is that it seems so many of them/us don't "know each other".

Based on the divorce rate both here at home and among the international marriages, maybe this really isn't a "given" then?

You know what they say about "assume"......

[Vasilisa]

I read a book about Mitt Romney's biography last night, decided to go to the LDS church on Sunday.

[Patagonie]

Very good post Kuna.

[Gator]

I read a book about Mitt Romney's biography last night, decided to go to the LDS church on Sunday.

The relevance to this thread eludes me.   Better in the Romney is better than Obama thread.
 
Many people such as that "fecal exit port" Bill Maher are arrogantly critical of the LDS.  Personally, I know how two young LDS men saved the physical and spiritual life of my extremely fucked up brother-in-law.  He declined from a gifted trisexual musician to  someone who had not left his trailer in Erie, PA for almost 10 years, so long that his teeth rotted out.  One day two young men on their mission knocked on his door.  Two months later he had moved to Salt Lake City and was working with mentally handicapped children.