Have/Would, you consider marriage to an older Woman, older than yourself?

[newjason]

A few days ago, ONUS proposed a great question...

Anybody date / have a relationship / get married with someone older than themselves? Not like a cougar but only a few years or so.

I know, another age gap thread....

But as you know, everywhere are double standards.
How different are the expectations when the ages are reversed.

Since then some agreed that my post was wasted on another thread, I waited for someone to start a fresh  thread on the subject. So I am taking the liberty.


Have you been with a FSU woman older than yourself?
Were you a lot younger than she was?
If so, how did it feel ?

Personally ,I have. I can also say that I would be happily married to my amazing older lady still without a doubt.

[Muzh]

NJ, when I was 20 I met this gorgeous woman of 25 and we dated for the next 5 years. I was ready to marry her but she was not willing to come with me to the US because of my studies.

There are days when I wonder where she is, what she is doing, how's her life?

[Gator]

 
I read your story in the other thread.  You might want to post it here as it is indeed a special story.  Sad ending but I imagine your relationship overfilling with  the human spirit and love.
 

[Gator]

Answer to the question:  not since my 30s.   
When in Ukraine I was talking via an interpreter to a younger UW.     In questioning our age gap, I asked her the age of her mother.  Her mother was only one year older than me.   I remarked that her mother was probably better suited for me.  The UW answered that I would not like her mother because she is fat.  I replied, with a smile, that she would lose all of that fat from my chasing her around the kitchen table three times per day. 
 
The UW and interpreter  laughed and laughed.  When they calmed down, the UW uttered "My God!"

[Chicagoguy]

It seems to me that in Russia for women a little older than me that they deterioate rather quickly after their late 50's.

[newjason]

NJ, when I was 20 I met this gorgeous woman of 25 and we dated for the next 5 years. I was ready to marry her but she was not willing to come with me to the US because of my studies.

There are days when I wonder where she is, what she is doing, how's her life?

Muzh



Do you think the age diff had anything to do with that, or was it just because you were committed to study?
Do you think she Would have changed her mind if you had been older or the same age ?

[newjason]

I read your story in the other thread.  You might want to post it here as it is indeed a special story.  Sad ending but I imagine your relationship overfilling with  the human spirit and love.

Gatoraide nice to see you again.

I am really torn about that.  As you know, I have a hard time with brevity, and my stories tend to get a little too ... personal?
I did not care to much about the introduction thread, because , well ,  she did not care about me, so , I figured she doesn't care and really it felt good to get it out of my head and into the open.
I was able to come to some understanding by doing that, so want to  say thank you for the encouragement.

My First FSU relationship was on a whole different plane. This woman was, and always will be the closest i have ever been to meeting an angel. I am hesitant because I do not EVER want to have her disrespected, or judged by anyone who never met her.  She was a truely magnificent  human being and  a inspiration to all she left behind. This story will have to go through a very very emotional roller coaster ride, and since it deals with cancer and the death of a woman who was so young,  I am not sure I can re visit that again without stirring up all of my inner demons and ghosts again. 
Everyone here has been so nice and supportive to me, I appreciate that a lot.

After seeing the train wreck that AmericanBoy got himself into and the huge dis connection from reality that his thread took, I am a little wary, but confident that I can present it in a mature , respectable, honorable fashion.
That being said, I don't want to come across like I am looking for sympathy or attention, and I don't want to seem like a victim at all.  The  world is a great place with many treasures to enjoy, but It also can be cruel and merciless bitch and I want my dignity and self respect left in tact, as it  is now.

I will think about it.

I want and need it to be respectful.

I don't know yet. I will let you know either way.

Answer to the question:  not since my 30s.   
When in Ukraine I was talking via an interpreter to a younger UW.     In questioning our age gap, I asked her the age of her mother.  Her mother was only one year older than me.   I remarked that her mother was probably better suited for me.  The UW answered that I would not like her mother because she is fat.  I replied, with a smile, that she would lose all of that fat from my chasing her around the kitchen table three times per day. 
 
The UW and interpreter  laughed and laughed.  When they calmed down, the UW uttered "My God!"

LOL. LOL  LOL.
I assume that is because the light finally came on?? 

HAHAHA   so do you think it was her imagining you in your tighty whitey's chasing her nearly nude mother that did it for her? or was it she imagining you chasing Her  around the kitchen  LOLOL  Gator , that some funny stuff .  Thank you 

[2tallbill]

Nope not me not this time


My exwife is 5 years older. I am not going down that road again.

[newjason]

I have been in an age gap relationship and marriage, and It was the most meaningful, enlightening, fuffilling and fanstastic thing I have done and will ever do.

This is going to take some introduction and may bore  some of you.

On second thought, I think this story belongs to the people who loved, admired, and were lucky enough to have known Sasha.

I may do a short overview instead, repeating what  I said I the other thread.

As I ate dinner, I started to remember that while life is great at times, it really sucks at other times.

Loosing her was beyond unfair, and cruel.

Thanks to you Gator. 
You are wise and intelligent man.
You are also a rare and treasured human being.

[Gator]

I am hesitant because I do not EVER want to have her disrespected, or judged by anyone who never met her......I want and need it to be respectful.

I see that you have started your story.  She is indeed beautiful as many 40-something RW can be. 
 
You have said more than enough with "This woman was, and always will be the closest i have ever been to meeting an angel.....She was a truely magnificent  human being and  a inspiration to all she left behind."  And most of us have witnessed the tragedy of cancer.   
 
Careful as you proceed with the story.   If one person makes an inappropriate comment, I suggest that you stop and delete your posts.  Keep it safe in your heart.   Whatever you do, do not even acknowledge the commenter.  For sure, no explanation, no debate.

[newjason]

It seems to me that in Russia for women a little older than me that they deterioate rather quickly after their late 50's.

Yes, true even in America 
 If  I knew she had an expiration date, I would have done nothing different. 
Beautiful people are beautiful in their actions and their commitments, not just in the mirrors.

[mendeleyev]

Beautiful people are beautiful in their actions and their commitments, not just in the mirrors.

+1

[Anotherkiwi]

Getting back to the title of the thread, I think that the answer is NO (or at least highly unlikely) - not now that I'm past 50.  10 or 20 years ago, no problem (although I wouldn't have gone for a huge age gap  ), but now I'd rather have some cute young thing (45 or so) bring me my tea and slippers after a hard day at the office.

[GQBlues]

Getting back to the title of the thread, I think that the answer is NO (or at least highly unlikely) - not now that I'm past 50.....

LOL! Somehow the sounds of her dentures dropping in a soaking glass is definitely going to be a mood killer.

But yeah...during my younger years it was a blast to be with older women. Not 'old', just older.

[Patagonie]

Answer to the question:  not since my 30s.   
When in Ukraine I was talking via an interpreter to a younger UW.     In questioning our age gap, I asked her the age of her mother.  Her mother was only one year older than me.   I remarked that her mother was probably better suited for me.  The UW answered that I would not like her mother because she is fat.  I replied, with a smile, that she would lose all of that fat from my chasing her around the kitchen table three times per day. 
 
The UW and interpreter  laughed and laughed.  When they calmed down, the UW uttered "My God!"

[Muzh]

Muzh

 

Do you think the age diff had anything to do with that, or was it just because you were committed to study?
Do you think she Would have changed her mind if you had been older or the same age ?

Nope, she was a Nationalist. She was NOT going to leave the island and I was suffocating there.

[newjason]

Something life changing happened today.
So i am going to ramble a bit now because I can't sleep  and I want to talk about something.
Age gap related, I hope.
I think I have been wrong to condone age gap relationships.  I had a very special one, and I can't help but wonder, If a young woman has any of the same feelings, that I had. Good feelings.
When I was a younger man and Involved with my older partner, It was not strange for me  at all.
This woman was secure, confident, sexy as hell, and possessed the sharpest intellectual wit I have ever encountered.   Being with her made me feel ...   like I can't describe in words. 
I guess I felt safe, and confident, and respected.  It was unlike any relationship I have had before or since.  I had to marry her, she was my everything that I was not.  She was a kind genuine humble woman.  She never lied to me,  she never did anything morally questionable, and she was the one person that I knew would never ever put me down or hurt me in any way.  Even when we would be in the misdst of our fiercest arguments, she never once insulted me, or attacked my character.
We were always civil, even in a fight, it just was minor and always less than the intensity of the love and respect we had for each other.  I learned a lot from her.  She had a son, from her first marriage, who was about 4 years younger than I was.  He was a great kid.  He's turned into a very well rounded man. The hardest thing I have ever had to do in my Life was telling him that his mom had passed away.

I see him every summer and at Christmas he still comes to stay with me for those holidays.  He married his long time Russian girlfriend about a year and a half ago. 
And this afternoon, I got the best call of my life.  This morning they delivered a healthy baby boy.
And to my surprise, they gave him my Name    so he is now the new new Jason.    So I am now a very happy step Grandfather.   
I am flying to Cali in a few hours to spend some time with them. 
It's 3am and I can't sleep   
I never had any children of my own, and while he is only my step grandson,  I am overtaken with joy right now.


NOw i feel old.   but it's a good feeling.

Peace

Jason

[chivo]

To answer the question:
 
I usually live by the axiom "Never say never"...in this case though...never.

[ECOCKS]

Of course.

If she was "the right woman" then by definition it would be the "right thing" to do.

I didn't date any older than myself but a couple were right at the same age, just slightly less by a few months.

[CDW]

Yes I would