Her commenting on your physical appearance

[missAmeno]

Is it common though? Never once did I hear someone say it that way, always "spacibo bolshoe"

In Ukraine I don't recall ever hearing it with the bolshoi stated first. Maybe a regional thing?

I have heard it translated as "big thanks" and wondered why this happens sometimes. As usual I think you just have to write this off as a coping or transitional affectation.

Its common to use either way. Nothing regional in it.

[ECOCKS]

Personal attack?
I see it as she did not agree with that statement.
Nothing personal.
Or is this an ongoing conflict?

Sure it's personal. You say something, I say BS without addressing why I think that or offering any alternatives, no comment is made as to substance only a judgement.

But hey, call it what you want to then.

[Patagonie]

I disagree. Men should compliment women on the looks. Just dont over do it and you must really mean what you saying.
In online dating, a 6 girl can hear more then 20 times "you are beautiful" in just one hour. If she is not delusional with reality, the guys who give too many compliments will undermine her trust to them. Compliments should be natural and original. Writing same compliments (aka "you are beautiful") as many other guys do is just the thing to sink your own boat. Not complimenting at all woman on her looks is mistake as well

You hit the nail on the head here.

My post was probably not enough accurate. I meaned, implicitly, in the beginning of the relationship.
Of course i you are married and don't get any compliments to your lady 


The clue is that many men give compliments to girls they don't know or almost don't know.
I totally agree when you say "compliments should be natural and original".

Guys keep this in mind : "compliments should be natural and original".
I translate because there are two conditions in my opinion in the way to tell it.

So a compliment should be : customised (i am really fond of the way you dress your hair with your hand, it is so sensual, you have a special manner to do it, i never see such thing before or I like your emotional intelligence, you are an empathic person)
Unfortunately a lot of guys believe they are saying something original but they aren't. When i am with this type of guys i am very uncomfortable and want to flee. The worst for me when the guy is delivering is soap compliments and suddenly look at me saying : she is beautiful (worst : she has beautiful breasts) isn't she ? I wish to punch his face.

Sincere. nothing to wait, no flattery. Something she desserved, really.

[Doll]

There is sure nothing personal.
As for the "statement"- it is not even close to the "truth".
I do understand it is "IMO", but nothing in it is how it is in reality.
I don't have to "address".

[Patagonie]

This reference suggests 5 compliments.  RW are easy.
 
 http://www.iamhusband.com/2008/04/compliment-to-criticism-ratio.html
 
 
In business climates I was taught that teams perform better if between peers there are three sincere compliments for every constructive criticism.  If a supervisor, the ratio is 10::1.
 
Of course this is for American society where we expect smiles and seek harmony.   Russians are strong.  They do not want sugar coating and they can deal with a shitstorm, as told to us by some RWD female members.   Also, IMO Russians stress perfection more than Americans (in Olympic Games a Silver Medal is for a loser).

Interesting, unfortunately this corporate culture is not really present in my country, not enough.

[ECOCKS]

There is sure nothing personal.
As for the "statement"- it is not even close to the "truth".
I do understand it is "IMO", but nothing in it is how it is in reality.
I don't have to "address".

Great, we are agreed then, you think my statement is BS and I think the same of yours....feel better now?

[missAmeno]

The worst for me when the guy is delivering is soap compliments and suddenly look at me saying : she is beautiful (worst : she has beautiful breasts) isn't she ? I wish to punch his face.

 

Edit: If you would like to punch his face, imagine how girl feels     

[Patagonie]

Edit: If you would like to punch his face, imagine how girl feels 

Yeah !

[newjason]

Unfortunately a lot of guys believe they are saying something original but they aren't. When i am with this type of guys i am very uncomfortable and want to flee. The worst for me when the guy is delivering is soap compliments and suddenly look at me saying : she is beautiful (worst : she has beautiful breasts) isn't she ? I wish to punch his face.

true that Pat.
I made the mistake of going with a married friend of mine out for the evening.  He made a mad dash to the bar then to the strip club.  I stayed with him, because I was driving and he was drunk. So inside the club,  he totally changed.  He became like some sort of megalomaniacal fool.   Like a cartoon,  he had the big eyes and drooling mouth,  He then became like the man Pat describes above.
I told him, I will be in the car when you are done being a dumbass.  He came out 10 minutes later, and proceeds to tell me that I am at fault for his behaviour.
I said to him : before I knock you out, I am going to remind you that you are married, and that even if you do not respect that fact , I DO.  I then put him to sleep with a little knuckle sandwich on the chin.

When he came to, he found me dragging his dumb ass into his front door where his wife was waiting.

I am amazed how guys like this can convince a woman to marry them in the first place. Let alone stay married.  On the reverse side of that thought, His wife treats him like shit, and makes his life hell, which totally deserves. So i guess it's a perfect match.

[chivo]

There is sure nothing personal.
As for the "statement"- it is not even close to the "truth".
I do understand it is "IMO", but nothing in it is how it is in reality.
I don't have to "address".

Agree.

[chivo]

To the topic, if a woman, any woman compliments you on your appearance, just simply say "thank you" and be done with it. Of course it makes anyone feel good about themselves.
 
Fishing for compliments is weak. And a cheap compliment is like cheap cologne. Easily smelt for what it is.

[Muzh]

Personal attack?
I see it as she did not agree with that statement.
Nothing personal.
Or is this an ongoing conflict?

Nah, it is that insecurity he was talking about. 

[Muzh]

My post was probably not enough accurate. I meaned, implicitly, in the beginning of the relationship.
Of course i you are married and don't get any compliments to your lady 


The clue is that many men give compliments to girls they don't know or almost don't know.
I totally agree when you say "compliments should be natural and original".

Pat, how's this for original?

Some years ago my wife loved this song from Valery Meladze so I bought the CD.
 

 
I really liked the song so I would listen to it while I was driving to and back from work. So I decided to learn the song and repeat whatever he was saying so I could one day sing it to her as a surprise. I asked my wife if she could write down the lyrics for me (not in cyrillic of course) but she did not suspect anything. Her good friend helped me with the pronunciation until she felt it was passable.
 
This coincided with one of our trips to Kharkiv (pre-child) so I figured I could surprise her for Woman's International Day. It happens that I didn't wait that long. We were in one of the outdoor cafes that used to dot the park next to Independent Square and the DJ was playing music and asking people to sing. So I asked my wife to request the song.
 
You should have seen her face when I started singing the song to her. As they say in baseball; "and the crowd went wild."
 
I think that's why she tells me (even after a nasty argument) she will always be with me.

[Ade]

Nah, it is that insecurity he was talking about. 

I thought he was talking about the incessant cosmetic shopping. Or was that incessant questions about cosmetic shopping? Or perhaps is was the insecurities about plastic surgery that's why they needed to shop for cosmetics incessantly?


Anyway, Doll was right. Ed's talking BS. Again.

[Patagonie]

Pat, how's this for original?

Some years ago my wife loved this song from Valery Meladze so I bought the CD.
 

 
I really liked the song so I would listen to it while I was driving to and back from work. So I decided to learn the song and repeat whatever he was saying so I could one day sing it to her as a surprise. I asked my wife if she could write down the lyrics for me (not in cyrillic of course) but she did not suspect anything. Her good friend helped me with the pronunciation until she felt it was passable.
 
This coincided with one of our trips to Kharkiv (pre-child) so I figured I could surprise her for Woman's International Day. It happens that I didn't wait that long. We were in one of the outdoor cafes that used to dot the park next to Independent Square and the DJ was playing music and asking people to sing. So I asked my wife to request the song.
 
You should have seen her face when I started singing the song to her. As they say in baseball; "and the crowd went wild."
 
I think that's why she tells me (even after a nasty argument) she will always be with me.

You scored 10/10 Muzh here, perfect, very romantic and creative.

[Shadow]

Pat, how's this for original?

Some years ago my wife loved this song from Valery Meladze so I bought the CD.
 
 
I really liked the song so I would listen to it while I was driving to and back from work. So I decided to learn the song and repeat whatever he was saying so I could one day sing it to her as a surprise. I asked my wife if she could write down the lyrics for me (not in cyrillic of course) but she did not suspect anything. Her good friend helped me with the pronunciation until she felt it was passable.
 
This coincided with one of our trips to Kharkiv (pre-child) so I figured I could surprise her for Woman's International Day. It happens that I didn't wait that long. We were in one of the outdoor cafes that used to dot the park next to Independent Square and the DJ was playing music and asking people to sing. So I asked my wife to request the song.
 
You should have seen her face when I started singing the song to her. As they say in baseball; "and the crowd went wild."
 
I think that's why she tells me (even after a nasty argument) she will always be with me.

What is impressive is that the crowd went wild. If I would have tried the crowd would have panicked.

[Muzh]

It helps when you carry a tune. 

[ECOCKS]

I thought he was talking about the incessant cosmetic shopping. Or was that incessant questions about cosmetic shopping? Or perhaps is was the insecurities about plastic surgery that's why they needed to shop for cosmetics incessantly?


Anyway, Doll was right. Ed's talking BS. Again.

Coming from one of the record-holders that's something to consider alright.

[ECOCKS]

Nah, it is that insecurity he was talking about. 

+2 Exactly.

[Doll]

Ok, a little bit of Russian: there is hardly any difference between Большое спасибо and Спасибо большое

[Anotherkiwi]

Ok, a little bit of Russian: there is hardly any difference between Большое спасибо and Спасибо большое

I'm SO glad we got that sorted out!  FWIW, I heard it both ways on both my trips.

[noelscot]

I should say lack of commenting. If a RW thought you looked cute or ugly in the photos you send them would they tell you? It's hard to get a vibe from this girl. This is just in the email stage and she is not an agency scammer. I comment on her looks but she doesn't reciprocate. Other than that she replies quickly and seems interested.
 

Machiavelli said flatterers should be shunned.

[Muzh]

My wife sent me this little tidbit from one of her classes.


UCLA Study


A study worth sharing:

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth, a spear lodged in his chest and a bat up his ass while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected on this subject.
 
 

[LAman]

My wife sent me this little tidbit from one of her classes.


UCLA Study


A study worth sharing:

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth, a spear lodged in his chest and a bat up his ass while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected on this subject.
 
 

I watched a program that showed a women looked more attractive when she was ovulating.....actually showing photos of the women.....before and after...which makes sense for the 'species'

[mies]

I should say lack of commenting. If a RW thought you looked cute or ugly in the photos you send them would they tell you? It's hard to get a vibe from this girl. This is just in the email stage and she is not an agency scammer. I comment on her looks but she doesn't reciprocate. Other than that she replies quickly and seems interested.
 

I always compliment on male appearance if there is what to compliment on.