Hi There

[JD_Mcready]

So,

I started looking East several years ago and got sidetracked. I am a good looking guy with plenty of money. I never have problems getting dates in the states, but none were marriage potential. I am fully aware that everyone everywhere has issues, but they all seemed a little self-centered, not engaged, I don't know. Just not...

Anyway,

I have no expectations, but I'll know a keeper when I meet (and get to know) her. So why the East and not other places? Well, I have my grandfather's taste in women. My grandmother was 5'7 and never weighed more than 115lbs in her life (outside of being pregnant). I find most eastern ladies that are already here in the states quite pretty, and I believe I have the looks, charisma and financial backing to make a good go at this. I also have a very kind heart that hasn't frozen from past relationships. There is even the potential for me to work remotely, so I might be able to stay for long a month at a time or so.
 

[David1963]

It sounds like you're on the right track with your thinking.  Good luck and please do a lot of reading on here.
 

[JD_Mcready]

Hi David,

Thanks for the reply. I am doing a lot of reading for sure. One question to the community:

It sounds like most of the date sites are 98% a no-go on actually finding someone worth spending time online getting to know. I've read the 10 commandments, but should I just ask them to communicate outside the agency?

I would like to take learning and mate discovery in parellel, so if any of you have some specific tips on where I might have a good chance of meeting someone that actually has an interest past making a buck working for an agency with no desire to get to know me, I would greatly appreciate it.

Me: 37, I own my own marketing agency, so I know when I'm being marketed to. That said, a great marketer has the ability to change the mind of even the stauchest of hold-outs (I don't watch commercials for just that reason -- I'm not immune to marketing. It is psychological...)
I know how to market myself, and if there is a chance of winning over that right person, I'll go "all-in". 

[newjason]

ML used to have a standard boilerplate post for guys with questions like yours,
It seemed to be the most sensible and helpfull. I think he is not around anymore at least for the time being. I will try to find it for you and post it here.

Welcome By the Way

[newjason]

ok, the post is here http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.msg295720#msg295720


and As ML wrote it:


Pursuing FSUW 101.  Below are the basics.

First, avoid all agencies and any websites that require pay per contacting each woman and/or pay per each letter.

Second, go to these websites:

http://singles.ru/
http://www.luckylovers.net/
http://www.rbrides.com/
http://www.ukrainedate.com/
http://www.allsinglerussiangirls.com/
http://freepersonals.ru/
http://bride.ru/
http://fdating.com
http://www.1vipdating.com/
http://freeukrainianwomen.com/
http://okfreedating.net/
http://luckylifepartner.com/
http://www.weblovefinder.com/

The below are in Russian language.
 
 http://www.edarling.ru/
 http://vmireznakomstv.ru/
 http://www.your-ideal.com/
 http://www.24open.ru/
 http://loveplanet.ru/
 http://www.maybe.ru/
 http://znakomstva-sitelove.ru/

Go to the above free and monthly cost ($19-30) dating websites.  Make up a nice profile of yourself.  Use the search engines to find about 800 - 1,000 women who are in the age range you want and have the education, height, weight, language, children, drinking, smoking, etc., parameters that you desire and are in a single target geographical area.

Do this screening first rather than look at pictures first.  After you have done the screening; then look at the pictures.

When you are two months away from your trip departure time, then start sending out your first message.

Send a generic but well written introductory message to all with each individual name typed at the top.

Of those  who reply, filter out all who make you worry in any way or give you concerns.

Send second generic but well written letter to all with their individual names typed at the top.  Modify it a bit to answer any questions that an individual woman may have asked.  Yes, this takes a lot of time.

Repeat these procedures over about 6-8 weekly emails and you will have narrowed down your list to 15-30 gals.  You can continue to use a generic letter for each successive mailing, but be sure to modify it a bit to answer specific questions any gal may have asked and to ask specific questions of your own related to the family, interests, jobs, etc., of each individual woman.  Yes, this takes a lot of time, but each week you will be cutting your list down. 

Finalize your trip plans and start scheduling the women into time slots.

If you follow the above procedure, you will not have the need to ask us questions about scammers, etc., as you will have filtered out all scammers.  And if any of the women you are writing to give you any sheeeeet or cause you any concern at all, or ask for money for ANYTHING you simply drop them off your lists and continue on.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think most guys here agree this is probably the most sensible way to go.
Everyone is different so you will need to find what is best for you, but this is a good starting point.

Jason

[David1963]

First, avoid all agencies and any websites that require pay per contacting each woman and/or pay per each letter.

I wouldn't avoid all agencies, there are some good ones out there, you just have to do your reasearch.  I met my wife at Khersongirls.  I'm sure there were some bad apples in there, even Match.com has those.
You just have to make sure you are actually writing to a specific woman and not Yuri.
 

[JD_Mcready]

Thank you!

[Gator]

So,

I started looking East several years ago and got sidetracked. I am a good looking guy with plenty of money. I never have problems getting dates in the states, but none were marriage potential. I am fully aware that everyone everywhere has issues, but they all seemed a little self-centered, not engaged, I don't know. Just not...

A "little self-centered" is your reason for stating American women are not marriage potential?  Why would RW be any different?

A good looking 37-yo man with plenty of money should indeed have first choice.  Did you just make bad choices again and again and again?

I am not trying to bust you balls, but warning you.  Sometimes the reason is not the women but the man.   What did not work with AW will not work with RW, especially over the long term.

[newjason]

I must echo Gator's concerns.
You may want to re-evaluate what has brought you to this conclusion of  "none were marriage potential."
If you are indeed the person who you describe, you should be able to easily find a woman suitable for marriage within your own zip code. 
Either that or you are not as successful at marketing yourself as you think you are.

If you have un-realistic expectations of local women, then of course you will see them as not measuring up to your standards. But that is on you , not them.
If you are so inclined to search abroad, I hope you are one hell of a man, because that is what you will need to be and more.

[Faux Pas]

Welcome to RWD JD!

I've never used agencies but many guys who have, do nothing else. However, I'm confident there are good women signed up at agencies. I tend to need a shower just reading the stories from some. Maybe 6-10 years ago before I went, agencies were the way to go perhaps. I can't imagine that they still have the pull they use to but, there are current TR's that describe them as vibrant. A "good looking" man with no money problems and a degree of game shouldn't need the help agencies provide IMHO. Others I'm sure feel different. Good luck to you in any event. 

[I/O]

ok, the post is here http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.msg295720#msg295720


and As ML wrote it:


Pursuing FSUW 101.  Below are the basics.

First, avoid all agencies and any websites that require pay per contacting each woman and/or pay per each letter.

Second, go to these websites:

http://singles.ru/
http://www.luckylovers.net/
http://www.rbrides.com/
http://www.ukrainedate.com/
http://www.allsinglerussiangirls.com/
http://freepersonals.ru/
http://bride.ru/
http://fdating.com
http://www.1vipdating.com/
http://freeukrainianwomen.com/
http://okfreedating.net/
http://luckylifepartner.com/
http://www.weblovefinder.com/

The below are in Russian language.
 
 http://www.edarling.ru/
 http://vmireznakomstv.ru/
 http://www.your-ideal.com/
 http://www.24open.ru/
 http://loveplanet.ru/
 http://www.maybe.ru/
 http://znakomstva-sitelove.ru/

Go to the above free and monthly cost ($19-30) dating websites.  Make up a nice profile of yourself.  Use the search engines to find about 800 - 1,000 women who are in the age range you want and have the education, height, weight, language, children, drinking, smoking, etc., parameters that you desire and are in a single target geographical area.

Do this screening first rather than look at pictures first.  After you have done the screening; then look at the pictures.

When you are two months away from your trip departure time, then start sending out your first message.

Send a generic but well written introductory message to all with each individual name typed at the top.

Of those  who reply, filter out all who make you worry in any way or give you concerns.

Send second generic but well written letter to all with their individual names typed at the top.  Modify it a bit to answer any questions that an individual woman may have asked.  Yes, this takes a lot of time.

Repeat these procedures over about 6-8 weekly emails and you will have narrowed down your list to 15-30 gals.  You can continue to use a generic letter for each successive mailing, but be sure to modify it a bit to answer specific questions any gal may have asked and to ask specific questions of your own related to the family, interests, jobs, etc., of each individual woman.  Yes, this takes a lot of time, but each week you will be cutting your list down. 

Finalize your trip plans and start scheduling the women into time slots.

If you follow the above procedure, you will not have the need to ask us questions about scammers, etc., as you will have filtered out all scammers.  And if any of the women you are writing to give you any sheeeeet or cause you any concern at all, or ask for money for ANYTHING you simply drop them off your lists and continue on.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think most guys here agree this is probably the most sensible way to go.
Everyone is different so you will need to find what is best for you, but this is a good starting point.

Jason

All very scientific. How things have changed. Back in 'the day', one turned up anywhere east of approximately the Bradenburg Gate, banged the first half hot thing he saw, hoped he didn't end up with the pox and ran like hell if anyone mentioned marriage in decipherable English. 

[JD_Mcready]

Gator -

All good questions I ask myself. The last one is the saddest one. She and I loved each other. We were perfect for each other in so many ways that it should have worked, but after five years of marriage, and two trying to make it work, the fact is, we didn't have chemistry. We could have gone on forever in a passionless yet very friendly marriage, because neither one of us is commitment phobic -- and there was love between us -- but the lack of chemistry (on both sides) depressed both of us. Neither of us were fulfilled. So, we're better off friends, and that is how the relationship stands. ( And yes, I am over her -- moved on etc.)

ALL of my relationships have taught me something about the type of woman I want to spend my life with. I am willing to search the world for that person. My ex, whom I just spoke of, came from a small town in the middle of Canada, so when I say I'm searching the world, I mean just that.

Of course, I'm not going to stop looking for great homegrown women. I have my profile on Match.com, and several other local American sites. I've talked and visited ladies in many states. I just haven't found her yet.

But by-and-large, the physical features of EU women tend to attract me more. Please don't think I'm shallow, because I am not. I am looking for intelligence, education and heart to go along with that beauty, and I need all of that to be satisfied with a life mate, because that is what I have to offer. So, I may not find what I'm looking for for a long time. Might be a short time. Might find that she lives five minutes from me, and we've just never met. I just don't know.

Going to Ukraine, Russia, and maybe other EU countries on a hunt for a potential wife is the perfect excuse I need to go see some of the beautiful architecture, and the natural history of the area. I might get off the plane, fall in love with the area and it's people, and end up living there as an Expat, only to find her after living there for years.

Last, but not least, I am fully aware that the one common thread in all of my relationships is myself. I won't deny my own issues, and I am working on them. As I mentioned in the post above this one, I am fully aware that everyone has rubbing points and issues -- that's fricken life man -- I get it. I get that marriage is work, and that fights happen from time to time. I understand from firsthand experience what it is like to know the type of relationship required to be able to recover from some serious (non-physical) fights. God knows, my ex and I had some serious fights (brought on by being unfulfilled), and yet we loved each other still, and recovered. We loved each other so much we eventually had to set each other free in order to see each other happy even if that wasn't together...

I feel that I am level set in my expectations, but I know what I want. That five year marriage taught me life is too short to settle. I would truly rather be alone than ever settle again.


So, ultimately, I am looking for that same TYPE of deep, committed relationship that I had with my ex + chemistry, and I’ve decided to spread my search further East.

Cheers!

JD

[Shadow]

It does not sound like you have really moved on.
Remember that your ex is seen as competition, especially if you have children.

As for your hunt, good luck. Reserve plenty of time and remember chemistry is more than lust.

[JD_Mcready]

We don't have children, and yes, I have moved on. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for the same relationship -- I am looking for the same TYPE of deep, commited, "all-in" type of relationship. I don't expect or even want the same relationship. I guess I'm just saying, I'll know it when I see it, because I've seen it before.

[Gator]

All very scientific. How things have changed. Back in 'the day', one turned up anywhere east of approximately the Bradenburg Gate, banged the first half hot thing he saw, hoped he didn't end up with the pox and ran like hell if anyone mentioned marriage in decipherable English.

You were a "bad man" I/O.      Now you are more profoundly contented than ever, producing rug rats like a hamster.

[Gator]

So, ultimately, I am looking for that same TYPE of deep, committed relationship that I had with my ex   chemistry, and I’ve decided to spread my search further East.

Yes, I would agree that you have moved on.  And you are correct to walk away when the passion is gone.  Chemistry is key.  Some must happen immediately and some takes longer to develop. 
 
You may want to read the chronicles of someone similar to you, albeit a little older, who is now in Ukraine for an extended period of time.  His trip is serious, more serious than he has been in many years, and he has met someone so intriguing that  stopped looking elsewhere.   However, he seems to be encountering a thorny issue about passion and chemistry.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14747.msg300214;topicseen#new


This is his Trip Report:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14515.0

[I/O]

You were a "bad man" I/O.      Now you are more profoundly contented than ever

I'll not argue either point but as you very well know, I wrote not a word in jest (above).

[newjason]

JD, I must admit, I am impressed with your attitude and demeanor. Very good.

If you  must use a tool or an agent to meet women, make sure it is just that, and is not a crutch. Get the middle man out of the equation asap and do things your own  way. your own style, and your own approach.

Maybe go out on a few dates just to get the bugs worked out and have some fun.

Having a marriage to someone who you can be nice and kind with is not the worst thing in the world.  Chemistry only lasts so long, and one hopes that there is something there besides chemistry to make the marriage last.

Just start reading everything you can about this , there is whole lot of work you need to be prepared for, and even more should you find what you seek.  Finding her is the easy part.
Adapting to each other and to new cultures and attitudes/beliefs and building a happy life together , that is what is the hard part. But totally worth it, with the right person.

Good Luck  JD

Jason

[JD_Mcready]

I hear what you are saying Jason, and thank you.

[JD_Mcready]

So,

I have two weeks of vacation coming up in August. Any guesses as to where I'm going?

[Anotherkiwi]

So,

I have two weeks of vacation coming up in August. Any guesses as to where I'm going?

Cruising to Alaska - two weeks isn't long enough for anywhere else! 

[JD_Mcready]

Nice guess, but no...

actually, I'm going camping with my (foster is the best way to describe them -- kinda like big brother...) kids in Yellowstone. 

[newjason]

Hey JD
I see you are from Sea Town also.
Are you any relation to Mike of the same last name?



PS
How have you liked the weather for the past two weeks?


Jason

[JD_Mcready]

I'm looking out at a maple tree that fell in my yard from a freak windstorm...

[Muzh]

Are you the guy at the end of my road?