Life Changes...Part Deux Part 2

[Ade]

Based on what you have written it doesn't appear you are writing from your happy place.  Your life should be full of joy, after waiting nearly 50 years you finally have a child, and you chose to create venomous postings towards practically everybody rather than focusing on what you have before you now.

STICK TO THE TOPIC AND LEAVE MODERATION AND THE TONE OF THE FORUM TO THE MODERATORS


Now that 100k is on the line, I wait with anticipation to see how  you weasel out of it this time, because it is a certainty that you will. 


Fathertime! 



 

I'm really not sure why I'm raising to the bait here but put it down to a generous mood today, okay? 


Given how little I post of the subject, why you and your like minded friends seem to think you know enough about me, my relationship with my wife and/or my daughter to pass comment is beyond me. The fact that I post now and then while I have idle time at work or while my child is sleeping or otherwise occupied seems to make you think you have some inner knowledge of my parenting ability and my life with my family. It baffles me and is just another indicator of many that you (and your like minded friends) have little ability in parsing the real world or in making value judgments worth a sausage which kind of speaks volumes on your ability to make relationship choices (big "Duh!" there I think).


Just take a look at Doug who attempted in a long winded post to try to make out I'm a bad father and how I'm somehow spending far too little time with my child's diapers, although how he could think he knows that is also beyond me. This is from a man that was building his own business when his child was a baby and, in all likelihood, spending far too little time himself with his daughter when she was a baby - so I guess there's much projection there. It speaks volumes that his late wife didn't want him to have custody of their child even on her deathbed. And yet, he is lecturing me? lol The guy that thinks car door opening has something, even remotely to do with true love is, quite frankly, out of his tree in terms of human relationships.


Now, to set the record straight, and to give you just a little bit of info that I'm sure you are hungry for seeing as you guys are obsessing over my family life. I work 8 hours a day max most days and work minutes from home (when I'm not doing a little home office) so I have, generally speaking in "US" terms, enormous amounts of free time with my family. Last year, for most months, I spent 1 week out of every month home and away from work with my child and my wife. Almost all of my posting these days is during work time - like now - or when my child is sleeping. My wife, my child and I have a relationship most of you MOBers can only dream of.     


mod edit

As for the $100K. LOL Just because you (and your like mind friends) are that gullible, you shouldn't expect those of us with some intelligence to be. 

[JayH]

Just take a look at Doug who attempted in a long winded post to try to make out I'm a bad tree in terms of human relationships.

 I work 8 hours a day max most days . Almost all of my posting these days is during work time - like now

I think Calmissle's   message was that you should have better things to do than spending your time being  a "prat" here.

Even at work-you must have something better to do--


Mod edit- suggesting a violation of the TOS may lead to further action in this case, keep it civil and any suggested actions civil. Drop disputes from elsewhere.

As for rising to the "bait" --well no-- you are not prepared to take the offer and bet BillyB who is the liar-- you are so certain you are correct--take his bet-surely a guy who is at work 8 hours a day could use and injection of $5000 into  your life.

[Ade]

I think Calmissle's   message was that you should have better things to do than spending your time being  a "prat" here.

And what is your excuse?

Even at work-you must have something better to do--mod edit

I'm a performance kind of guy and, as it turns out, my performance is pretty damn good actually. 


Edited.
Ade , your words were in reply to a suggestion of a TOS violation agaisnt you.Understood.


However , this exchange is finished between you two, )(or four) all need to accept it .
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[/size]On the topic of billys marriage being legit. [size=78%]
[/size]Whether directly stated, continuing innuendo or not, this is falling into the realm of attacking a poster or their family.[size=78%]
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[/size]Unless anyone has solid proof they are not married, this topic is to be dropped by everyone.[size=78%]
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[BillyB]

I was shocked reading what you wrote about domestic violence. Did you write it because you believe this opinion is valid / truthful?

A female 911 operator's opinion, with 20+ years experience, based on the events and facts she's encountered on the job is more valid than anybody else's here. I would be shocked if you didn't give her words any weight. This a woman who has experienced many depressing and horrible moments on the job nearly every day if not every day. If men are beating the crap out of women most of the time, it would be easy for her to start hating men yet she feels most physical violence are coming from the women. She works with police who investigates and documents who has physical marks due to domestic violence. If the 911 operator was male, we could accuse him of being biased but since the operator who made the statement is female, I see no reason for her to lie about more women doing DV on men than men on women.

Do you believe that yelling or that sort of threatening can justify men who beat their women and shift the guilt for violence from the attacker to the victim ?

Of course not but now we understand one reason it's policy for 911 operators to listen to what's going on in the background before answering the phone. Just because there is a 911 call, there may be no abuse at all. People make stuff up all the time to get other people they don't like in trouble. Look how many times people made stuff up about me with child molester probably being the worst. If one were to believe it all, I should be on death row by now.

I am not sure where you come from with that statistic. According to BJS, From 1994 to 2010, about 4 in 5 victims of intimate partner violence were female (75%), and Females ages 18 to 34 generally experienced the highest rates of intimate partner violence.

http://www.bjs.gov/index.cfm?ty=pbdetail&iid=4536

I'm not too thrilled with that study. In sixteen years domestic violence dropped over 60%. I doubt, we as a nation, just became 60% more civilized in a mere 16 years.


Men are much more likely not to report getting the crap kicked out of them. How many times men get used by scammers and gold diggers? Lots of men get ran over by women. I know guys in the construction and a few white collar workers that got abused by their wife or gf and never report it. There are a lot of emotional and crazy women and you better believe they can physically hurt someone when they're out of their mind.

Young kids of 3-5 years may play rough. However, by age 7, children stop playing rough, partly because they are instructed to play nice by their supervising adults and partly because kids get it that you cannot make friends by hurting those people you try to befriend.  I find it strange that a young woman would play that way.

My wife doesn't play rough with everybody and she may do it once a month with me. I don't find it strange a woman acts different around her man. I don't find it strange a woman her age is rolling around in the bed tickling, laughing and play fighting with her husband. I would find it strange if she acted the same with me as she does with everybody else.

It is also strange that Billy chooses to hurt the girl in return, instead of trying to help her understand what is going on with her and help her lose this unhealthy habit.

VWRW, you're assuming I chose to hurt my wife in retaliation. Horsing around is not fighting. There is no bad guy or victim in horsing around. I don't consider my wife's horsing around with her husband unhealthy...for her age. There are probably things you've done and said when you were young that you don't do today. There are things you do and say today that you will not do or say in the future. People grow up. Although my wife can play around with me at home, I can assure you she's a much better behaved and proper woman in public than the average American woman.

[pitbull]

I'm really not sure why I'm raising to the bait here but put it down to a generous mood today, okay? 


Given how little I post of the subject, why you and your like minded friends seem to think you know enough about me, my relationship with my wife and/or my daughter to pass comment is beyond me. The fact that I post now and then while I have idle time at work or while my child is sleeping or otherwise occupied seems to make you think you have some inner knowledge of my parenting ability and my life with my family. It baffles me and is just another indicator of many that you (and your like minded friends) have little ability in parsing the real world or in making value judgments worth a sausage which kind of speaks volumes on your ability to make relationship choices (big "Duh!" there I think).


Just take a look at Doug who attempted in a long winded post to try to make out I'm a bad father and how I'm somehow spending far too little time with my child's diapers, although how he could think he knows that is also beyond me. This is from a man that was building his own business when his child was a baby and, in all likelihood, spending far too little time himself with his daughter when she was a baby - so I guess there's much projection there. It speaks volumes that his late wife didn't want him to have custody of their child even on her deathbed. And yet, he is lecturing me? lol The guy that thinks car door opening has something, even remotely to do with true love is, quite frankly, out of his tree in terms of human relationships.


Now, to set the record straight, and to give you just a little bit of info that I'm sure you are hungry for seeing as you guys are obsessing over my family life. I work 8 hours a day max most days and work minutes from home (when I'm not doing a little home office) so I have, generally speaking in "US" terms, enormous amounts of free time with my family. Last year, for most months, I spent 1 week out of every month home and away from work with my child and my wife. Almost all of my posting these days is during work time - like now - or when my child is sleeping. My wife, my child and I have a relationship most of you MOBers can only dream of.     

As for the $100K. LOL Just because you (and your like mind friends) are that gullible, you shouldn't expect those of us with some intelligence to be. 

Yeah I was laughing at those posts, you can clearly imagine an old fart so angry he is pre-stroke and purple in color 
I would just reply with  *blah*
 In all honesty this sentence is much more likely to be a reality than the silly stuff they imagine about you anyway.


mod edited-

To all-

inflammatory things are just going to be edited or deleted until we can all get back on topic.

I'd appreciate that happening sooner than later. Thank you in advance for your cooperation..

[fathertime]

I'm really not sure why I'm raising to the bait here but put it down to a generous mood today, okay? 


Given how little I post of the subject, why you and your like minded friends seem to think you know enough about me, my relationship with my wife and/or my daughter to pass comment is beyond me. The fact that I post now and then while I have idle time at work or while my child is sleeping or otherwise occupied seems to make you think you have some inner knowledge of my parenting ability and my life with my family. It baffles me and is just another indicator of many that you (and your like minded friends) have little ability in parsing the real world or in making value judgments worth a sausage which kind of speaks volumes on your ability to make relationship choices (big "Duh!" there I think).


Just take a look at Doug who attempted in a long winded post to try to make out I'm a bad father and how I'm somehow spending far too little time with my child's diapers, although how he could think he knows that is also beyond me. This is from a man that was building his own business when his child was a baby and, in all likelihood, spending far too little time himself with his daughter when she was a baby - so I guess there's much projection there. It speaks volumes that his late wife didn't want him to have custody of their child even on her deathbed. And yet, he is lecturing me? lol The guy that thinks car door opening has something, even remotely to do with true love is, quite frankly, out of his tree in terms of human relationships.


Now, to set the record straight, and to give you just a little bit of info that I'm sure you are hungry for seeing as you guys are obsessing over my family life. I work 8 hours a day max most days and work minutes from home (when I'm not doing a little home office) so I have, generally speaking in "US" terms, enormous amounts of free time with my family. Last year, for most months, I spent 1 week out of every month home and away from work with my child and my wife. Almost all of my posting these days is during work time - like now - or when my child is sleeping. My wife, my child and I have a relationship most of you MOBers can only dream of.    Unlike some mad people, we even have our daughter vaccinated against diseases that can maim and kill.


As for the $100K. LOL Just because you (and your like mind friends) are that gullible, you shouldn't expect those of us with some intelligence to be. 

You find it strange that people are posting comments about you?  Given all the assumptions and harsh judgments you have made about many many others, you shouldn't be complaining.  Lets get this straight though, you are not posting about yourself now to be ‘generous’ …you are posting to protect your soiled forum image…because you care a lot about yourself. 
 
So according to you, you barely work, and when you do you make an incredible wage, and are a wonderful attentive father.  Why am I not surprised that you SAID all those things about yourself?  You are probably a little biased and it doesn't sound very believable to me, given your attitude around others. 
 
Whatever an Mob’er is you sound like the epitome of it despite your attempts to distance yourself….large age gap…self-serving statements about yourself, and harsh judgments for practically everybody else.  It seems you are rather self-centered which is probably what you mean by an "Mob'er. 


Thanks for weaseling out challenge like I said you would, it wouldn't matter if 5 million was at stake...you wouldn't go for it, because you know you are probably wrong and wouldn't be able to claim the money...but despite knowing you are probably incorrect, there is little consequence so you can continue to run your mouth on the subject.   Despite your painstaking efforts to clean up your well-deserved soiled image, the bottom line remains you will back down to the challenge regarding Billyb's marriage. 


Fathertime! 

[Ade]

So according to you, you barely work, and when you do you make an incredible wage, and are a wonderful attentive father.

You see, you are getting the hang of it; basing an opinion on what I said, rather than making it up out of thin air. Now how easy was that huh? Keep it up.

[fathertime]

You see, you are getting the hang of it; basing an opinion on what I said, rather than making it up out of thin air. Now how easy was that huh? Keep it up.

People can read your glowing reviews you wrote all about yourself, but believing it all is another matter entirely....


 

[Muzh]

I think Calmissle's   message was that you should have better things to do than spending your time being  a "prat" here.

Even at work-you must have something better to do--

As for rising to the "bait" --well no-- you are not prepared to take the offer and bet BillyB who is the liar-- you are so certain you are correct--take his bet-surely a guy who is at work 8 hours a day could use and injection of $5000 into  your life.

Muzh-
Your reply was fine, yet was addressed to a edited quote.

To answer your valid question and concern

Any member suggesting violations of the TOS  would naturally not be  supported and further action to those who do so may be taken.

.

[jone]

I agree.  Only an internet whack job ambushes someone at their place of employment. 

Let's get a life, people. 

But I will say this:  No matter how someone speculates that personalities differ from those that they post online, I have never seen a person who is vitriolic online and a kind and generous person at home.  What I have seen is that internet bullies tend to be maladjusted and weak people in real life. 

I have the theory that if you put us all in a big room together, it would be easy (with a few exceptions) simply by looking at people, to know who belonged to what moniker online.

[Ade]

People can read your glowing reviews you wrote all about yourself, but believing it all is another matter entirely....

Who said I care? Because whoever did is pulling your plonker.


 

[Jumper]

ALL

Get back on topic,discuss things civilly or step back from the keyboards and  ignore each other,  or I'll move or delete the entirety of these exchanges.

[TomT]

No one is discussing murder - so I don't really see the point of your post?

It is difficult to produce accurate statistics because different jurisdictions have different definitions of violence but dead is dead so that term doesn't require a judgment call.


I can't help but note (and I'm not surprised) that you didn't address the massive disparity between the number of males who kill their female lovers and the number of females who kill their male lovers. Perhaps we should get the opinion of a 911 operator. 


[Edit for grammar]

[Ade]

ALL

Get back on topic,discuss things civilly or step back from the keyboards and  ignore each other,  or I'll move or delete the entirety of these exchanges.

That would be upsetting - it's some of my better work.

[Muzh]

Muzh-
Your reply was fine, yet was addressed to a edited quote.

To answer your valid question and concern

Any member suggesting violations of the TOS  would naturally not be  supported and further action to those who do so may be taken.

.

Well, keep in mind ....


MOd edit

Muzh, I understand where you are coming from.
I am keeping at all in mind.

My edits are because this is going nowhere  as long as one side or the other keeps naming names, naturally  inflaming things.

Direct posts in this thread I can address,random  rumor or such  from elsewhere not so much.


So I either delete /split  off  the whole mess, which i still may..
or lets just get back to topic or everyone will find themselves in NHB and can frail away in there.Lets move on.

[Jumper]

That would be upsetting - it's some of my better work.

While I do appreciate the sense of humor. lets get back on track in this thread at a minimum.
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[vwrw]

 If the 911 operator was male, we could accuse him of being biased but since the operator who made the statement is female, I see no reason for her to lie about more women doing DV on men than men on women.

The problem is not in deception but in imperfections of memory. Selective attention, degree of emotions involved and many other memory issues make people misremember frequency of events and come up with wrong estimates.

[vwrw]

VWRW, you're assuming I chose to hurt my wife in retaliation.

Billy, by definition, retaliation is to give [someone] a taste of [his] own medicine. She hurts you and you pay her back by a bruise leaving restrain. So how that is not retaliating?
This is a rhetorical question though,and you do not have to answer me. I am done with this thread.

[BillyB]

The problem is not in deception but in imperfections of memory. Selective attention, degree of emotions involved and many other memory issues make people misremember frequency of events and come up with wrong estimates.

We can say those who conduct surveys and those who participate in surveys have the same problems.  I would like to believe 911 operators have a sharp mind when it comes to evaluating situations and calling on the right people. She also speaks daily with people in her workplace, medical personnel, and police. Her observations are based on what other people have encountered too, not just her own.


For the record, the worst day on the job for the 911 operator was when she got a call from a woman screaming while she was getting stabbed repeatedly from her boyfriend, then she went silent.


There's no doubt men can do much more damage than women when it comes to DV but I don't believe men do more DV than women. Too many men stay silent due to embarrassment and lack of support. I just talked to a friend about DV and I said "I remember you telling me your last woman you were in a relationship with hit you a couple of times. Exactly how often did she hit you, if you don't mind me asking?". He told me every other day for 14 years. He alone has been a victim of domestic violence over 2500 times and he's never reported it. If men reported DV as much as women, they may reduce the amount of times they're victims.

Billy, by definition, retaliation is to give [someone] a taste of [his] own medicine. She hurts you and you pay her back by a bruise leaving restrain. So how that is not retaliating?
This is a rhetorical question though,and you do not have to answer me. I am done with this thread.

I'm not angry at my wife. How could I retaliate for something that I'm not angry at? I didn't complain she hurt me. I simply told a story how she plays around and I grab her by her wrists or arms to hold her back because the topic of bruises came up. Playing rough can cause bruises but most of the time there aren't any bruises. If I'm bruising my wife on purpose, do you think she'd be smiling all the time? Her mother certainly wouldn't put up with it.

I am done with this thread.

 I see another thread devoted to DV started but It's okay if you want to continue on this topic pertaining to my situation here. I'm curious on how you and others think on these issues.

[fathertime]

Billy, by definition, retaliation is to give [someone] a taste of [his] own medicine. She hurts you and you pay her back by a bruise leaving restrain. So how that is not retaliating?

hi vwrw
I have no dog in this fight...my only comment is that if they are horsing around and one spouse gets a bruise on her wrist from being held...i don't think it is a big deal...heck some people enjoy that sorta thing...who am i to tell them it is right or wrong...   if there is abuse of a spouse either way,,,that is a very big deal...and I'd say get the hell away from the other spouse right away and don't look back. 


Fathertime!   

[Muzh]

[BillyB]

Wife and MIL are living with some anxiety lately. As most of you know, there is trouble in Ukraine that could end up in civil war. I've already had to deal with one war when both of them had to evacuate Libya a few years ago.


MIL travels back to Ukraine in less than a month. As the MAN of the house, I need to figure out a solution. Maybe some of you can help me be a MAN?


The situation in Ukraine is unpredictable and sending my MIL home into a war zone is not an option.


MIL has a 5 year tourist visa and she must leave America within 6 months of entering anytime during those 5 years in order to stay in compliance.  I don't think she has to go back home as long as she leaves America to stay in compliance. I was thinking about buying a ticket to Moscow and have her come back to America next or same day. Returning that quickly, will that violate her tourist visa and if not, will it hurt her chances to renew her tourist visa when this one expires?


Another option is to file a tourist visa extension so she can stay past 6 months but I'm worried that it would also hurt her chances to renew a tourist visa.


If the situation in Ukraine stays the same and MIL goes back home as scheduled and war breaks out then with flights in and out of Ukraine canceled, I will then be living with a wife full of anxiety. I prefer living with a happy wife so if any of you have experience with tourist visas do's and don'ts or other creative options, I'd appreciate hearing it.

[Hammer2722]

Billy, have you checked into the specifics of her visa? i.e. how long must she wait before returning?

[BillyB]

Billy, have you checked into the specifics of her visa? i.e. how long must she wait before returning?

I've read at official government websites that a person on a tourist visa can't stay beyond 6 months otherwise they are in violation. I have yet to read anything "concrete" about how long a person must leave America before they can return. I don't believe there is a time limit as long as the condition of leaving the country is met.


I believe my MIL could have a short drive and enter Canada for a day and come back across the border and stay another 6 months and still be in compliance with the visa but that may look bad when it's time to renew the visa. Also with the little time we have to make a decision, I don't know if getting her a Canadian tourist visa will happen fast enough so I thought buying her a ticket to Moscow would be a better option...if the option doesn't hurt her chances in renewing the visa. Also Homeland security has discretion on whether to allow her back into America after leaving for a day although she's not in violation of her visa. If they feel she's living here instead of visiting, I believe they could tell her to take the next flight back home.

[Hammer2722]

I think you need to call the us embassy and ask the question of what is the required/ recommended time in between visits.