Questions

[comeandsee]

How's it going. Let me just start off with a brief overview.

So for the last month 1/2 I've been chatting with an intelligent, down to earth woman from Ukraine. I am 25, she is 21 and she recently graduated with her bachelors in business from her local university in Ukraine. She is very intelligent and speaks English fluently, and I mean fluently, down to proper grammar and sentence structure. Even on Skype she can understand my BAWSTON accent without a issue and communication is very solid between us. From what she has told me she did so well in school that they shipped her off to South Dakota for 5 months as part of a student exchange program last year so she already has a good impression of what it's like to be in America. When we email, we talk from the moon to the sun and our e-mails are basically like long books (probably 8-12 paragraphs) and we've talked three times on Skype so far. I actually don't mind the long emails because we get to cover broad ranges of every kind of topic from our family, past life, politics, and obvious flirting.

I feel deep down that we have a strong connection because we share a lot of things in common, especially about what we think our perfect partner would be. She is applying for Masters soon which had me a bit concerned, but she reassured me that if she met the "right one" that she wouldn't hesitate to start over. lol, she even joked that she isn't going to stop going for her masters because we haven't met yet and it would take a year and a half anyway -- duh, I wouldn't stop everything for something I haven't met either! After hearing those reassurances I took a nice deep breath.

I haven't jumped aboard regarding planning a trip just yet because I have other things on the radar (not girls) going on right now that I want to clear up. Also, we both want to take it slow because it's silly to marry somebody you met in a week unless things go very-very well.

This isn't the first person I met overseas as I met a woman in Russia and she turned out to be the opposite of the person I talked on Skype, but I blame myself because I ignored the signs like a plague. Have you ever met somebody who could remember the exact date and time you asked a particular question and get angry when you accidentally asked it again? Yeah, that didn't last long with me and I actually still talk to her mother and we're actually very good friends. I even met her in New York. lol The girl stunk, but I got to go see all the armories around Moscow and St Petersburg. T-34 heaven.

I don't get that vibe from Alla, the girl from Ukraine so I feel more confident.

So anyway, my questions are.

1. Ideally what should you plan as your first trip? Met her family and visit town or go on excursion?
2. Are there any cheap airlines from Boston, MA to Ukraine? I want to penny pinch this down to at least $1,000 round trip if possible.
3. What advice do you suggest to "set in" stone once I'm there.

[calmissile]

Sounds like you are off to a great start.  You already have two huge advantages, her English and her personality.  Unlike the first one you mentioned, this one might be a keeper.  LOL
You might want to PM  OlgaH on this forum.  She is full of commen sense advice and is very friendly also.

Good luck!

[Anotherkiwi]

How's it going. Let me just start off with a brief overview.

First -    aboard the crazy train!

So for the last month 1/2 I've been chatting with an intelligent, down to earth woman from Ukraine. I am 25, she is 21 and she recently graduated with her bachelors in business from her local university in Ukraine. She is very intelligent and speaks English fluently, and I mean fluently, down to proper grammar and sentence structure.

Wow!  That's better than some of those on here with English as their first language.
 

...When we email, we talk from the moon to the sun and our e-mails are basically like long books (probably 8-12 paragraphs) and we've talked three times on Skype so far. I actually don't mind the long emails because we get to cover broad ranges of every kind of topic from our family, past life, politics, and obvious flirting.  

If you had said 8-12 pages I would agree with "long" - how big are the paragraphs?     However, this appears to be a pretty sound start.

I feel deep down that we have a strong connection because we share a lot of things in common, especially about what we think our perfect partner would be. She is applying for Masters soon which had me a bit concerned, but she reassured me that if she met the "right one" that she wouldn't hesitate to start over. lol, she even joked that she isn't going to stop going for her masters because we haven't met yet and it would take a year and a half anyway -- duh, I wouldn't stop everything for something I haven't met either! After hearing those reassurances I took a nice deep breath.

We all know what you mean, but you're definitely getting ahead of yourself!  However...much better!

I haven't jumped aboard regarding planning a trip just yet because I have other things on the radar (not girls) going on right now that I want to clear up. Also, we both want to take it slow because it's silly to marry somebody you met in a week unless things go very-very well.

Good...good...step back and take a very big breath - you're getting dazzled by the idea, not the reality.

This isn't the first person I met overseas as I met a woman in Russia and she turned out to be the opposite of the person I talked on Skype, but I blame myself because I ignored the signs like a plague...I don't get that vibe from Alla, the girl from Ukraine so I feel more confident.

Refreshingly honest - most guys in that situation will blame the girl and start screaming "scammer!"

So anyway, my questions are.

1. Ideally what should you plan as your first trip? Met her family and visit town or go on excursion?
2. Are there any cheap airlines from Boston, MA to Ukraine? I want to penny pinch this down to at least $1,000 round trip if possible.
3. What advice do you suggest to "set in" stone once I'm there.

My advice, and I think it would be the same for most on here (no matter how much or how little experience they have of the FSU), is to treat the first trip as a holiday with possible benefits (and NOT in the same way as a "friend with benefits"  ).  Enjoy the trip, especially as it's a country you haven't visited already, and see as much as you can.  If the girl turns out to be as wonderful as you hope, all the better - if she likes YOU that much, she will let you know pretty quickly.  Just don't act like you come from Hicksville - be respectful of her, her family and her country AT ALL TIMES!  Remember that you will only get one chance - stuff it up, no matter how lightly, and you're a goneburger.
 
BUT...and it's a very big BUT...she's only 21, and you're not much older.  Whatever you feel now,  be prepared for things to change.
 
As for cheap travel, it seems easiest to book separately from Boston to New York ($160 return by air, less by train), then New York to Kyiv (from about $870 upwards in August with a stop, or $1,100 direct).  You may well find cheaper options if you look a bit harder.
 
Good luck!

[comeandsee]

Wow!  That's better than some of those on here with English as their first language.

I was surprised as well. She tells me that she watches movies in English to improve herself.
 

If you had said 8-12 pages I would agree with "long" - how big are the paragraphs?     However, this appears to be a pretty sound start.

Usually about 3-4 sentences.
 

We all know what you mean, but you're definitely getting ahead of yourself!  However...much better!

Trust me, I'm not trying to get ahead of myself. I already got burned once from getting too antsy.

Good...good...step back and take a very big breath - you're getting dazzled by the idea, not the reality.

Of course.
 

Refreshingly honest - most guys in that situation will blame the girl and start screaming "scammer!"

You know what's funny? I've had one of the girls ask me before to show her a picture of me in my hometown because she thought I was a scammer! I have my own little ways to double-check, but I don't go hunting for scammers.
 

My advice, and I think it would be the same for most on here (no matter how much or how little experience they have of the FSU), is to treat the first trip as a holiday with possible benefits (and NOT in the same way as a "friend with benefits"  ).  Enjoy the trip, especially as it's a country you haven't visited already, and see as much as you can.  If the girl turns out to be as wonderful as you hope, all the better - if she likes YOU that much, she will let you know pretty quickly.  Just don't act like you come from Hicksville - be respectful of her, her family and her country AT ALL TIMES!  Remember that you will only get one chance - stuff it up, no matter how lightly, and you're a goneburger.

Oh, I understand. Thanks.

BUT...and it's a very big BUT...she's only 21, and you're not much older.  Whatever you feel now,  be prepared for things to change.

I was concerned about that as well, but her maturity level is probably on par to my own (guys mature slower). She doesn't have the life experiences so I get to give her advice on planning finances, job interviews advice, etc.
 

As for cheap travel, it seems easiest to book separately from Boston to New York ($160 return by air, less by train), then New York to Kyiv (from about $870 upwards in August with a stop, or $1,100 direct).  You may well find cheaper options if you look a bit harder.
 
Good luck!

Thanks, I'll check it out. I hope Kiev isn't as bad as Sheremetyevo because I had to wait two hours for my baggage and almost missed my train. 

edit: Holy crap. $800 flights in September.

[I/O]

Given your penmanship and her claimed education (I actually have some doubts about the latter) there appears to be a disparity which needs to be addressed sooner or later.

[Muzh]

First -    aboard the crazy train!
 

Same here.

Kiwi offers very good advice. I'd like to offer my two cents.

Just don't act like you come from Hicksville - be respectful of her, her family and her country AT ALL TIMES!  Remember that you will only get one chance - stuff it up, no matter how lightly, and you're a goneburger.

Treating it as a holiday will save you from potential heartaches. OR, you choose to spend a little bit of time getting to know her better and learn about her country. Then the trip will change its meaning.
 

BUT...and it's a very big BUT...she's only 21, and you're not much older.  Whatever you feel now,  be prepared for things to change.

That goes without saying. However, most girls in UA marry young so their mindset is a bit different from what you'll find here so you'll have to figure IF this is what you want. The good girls go into a marriage for a lifetime and will fight for it. Not like the typical AW (girls) which are so dependent of instant gratification. Meaning, at the first sign of a fight they want a divorce.
 
 

As for cheap travel, it seems easiest to book separately from Boston to New York ($160 return by air, less by train), then New York to Kyiv (from about $870 upwards in August with a stop, or $1,100 direct).  You may well find cheaper options if you look a bit harder.
 

FYI, my MIL's ticket from and to Ukraine was cheaper through Logan rather than JFK and I enjoy the drive to BAHstan much more than to Noo Yourk.
 
Look for off season tickets and buy well in advance. Delta offers direct flight to Kyiv but they may suspend the flights depending on the season and demand. UA's national airline (SUCKS!) also has direct flights. But they are from JFK.
 
FWIW, many moons ago I met my wife on an internet cafe/mom & pop agency and we spent six months talking on the phone for hours. No skype and she didn't have a computer at home. In addition, she didn't have a phone at her house in those days and cellphones were just a figment of their imagination. Still we managed to talk to each other at least 3 to 4 times a week for more than two hours. You should have seen my phone bill. By the time I went to see her for the first time, we knew it was a done deal.
 
Take your time to know her. It won't cost either of you a penny.
 
Good Luck!!

[Wayne]

Aerosvit (Ukrainian) Airlines has a direct flight from JFK to Kyiv, and also connecting flights to many cities in Ukraine. You will probably find this to be the cheapest flight. Delta has a direct flight in the Summer months. Changing planes in Moscow would not be the best idea. Most flights would change flights in Western Europe. Air France or Ibera have some cheaper flights. You can also go through Istanbul.
 
Where does you girl live? Where is the closest airport?
 
 

[tfcrew]

1. Ideally what should you plan as your first trip? Met her family and visit town or go on excursion?
 

Yeah, only I would reverse the order.
As you state 'ideally' [if you have the time]