Divorce

[noelscot]

I forgot to mention this, and it seems self-evident, but gather all of your documentation, make double copies, and store it securely. The attorney is going to be able to help you much more quickly if you have all of your documentation gathered before you meet for a consultation.

[GQBlues]

Her son will soon be 7 years old. She has a temp job in banking making about 15.00 dollars and hour. The job is suppose to be permanent around February because she will have been there 18 months. Thanks so much for your advice

andalusia-

My original comment still stands. FWIW, she didn't have to 'wait' to divorce you just to file for the Removal of Condition (Form I-751), you know. Matter of fact, she could've easily made things pretty messy for you by putting you in a real zinger and file for fictitious reason (abuse) towards you PRIOR to the filing of I-751. Then the chips would've been really stacked against you...but she didn't.

She's got her new unconditional GC now and as far as I'm concerned the threat of false abuse charges should be behind you now. Unless you incite some unwise moves yourself.

But what I'm curious about is...you said she got her new GC now (you called it a visa, it isn't a visa). Assuming it was a joint filing (I-751) and predicated on your marriage...and you said as soon as she filed, she stopped sleeping with you and things started going south - were both of you not called for the interview prior to the issuance of the GC?

Anyway, give her the divorce. Get yourself an attorney - *if necessary*. Take care of the kids. Then take care of yourself.

Good luck.

[newjason]

Hey what is with this stuff about be classy and whatnot during the whole process? Self-preservation is the highest law, and things are probably going to get worse for the guy. If he shows one iota of weakness this irrawatty cobra is going to bow up and strike. As for the children, they're not even his biological stock, not going to carry on his genes or anything, but rather side with their mother on everything as a default. Legally, he should fulfill his obligations to whomever, but he might not be able to be Mr. Nice Guy during what is a real shitty thing-divorce. I've seen it from the child's perspective and wish it upon no one. If he can be classy that'd be ideal, but reality is a bitch.

I see nothing said in the posts about being classy.
Self preservation may be the highest law, however, When you have children, that changes (or it should )  the selfish instinct changes into something else that makes the children the most important priority.
Even if children side with their mother, they will still need a strong male role model in their lives to give them what they need to be successful adults.
Acting like you suggest is indeed selfish and self centred. 

This "screw you bitch"  type of attitude does  no one any good and teaches the kids that , hey it's okay to act like asses and not have control of yourself and your emotions when things get a little rocky and since you are born by her, I don't have to do anything for you, so go find a father somewhere else.

No one suggested showing weakness.
IMO showing weakness , is a person who can't control himself and get's upset and throws a tantrum when things don't go his way.  Getting upset and yelling and fighting, especially in front of children is weak, irresponsible, and not the way normal adults behave.

He did mention that he loves her son, so I assume her son has a similar feeling in return toward him.
So, a  real man turns his back on his loved ones, just because the son's mother is a moron? Sorry, there is something very backward with that way of thinking.

There  is a big difference between being civil and being Classy and mr. nice guy.
He doesn't have to love her. He doesn't have to even like her, but, he does have to deal with her and
his relationship with her son may be the only positive thing that child has going go his life and future.
He can talk to her, deal with her, and interact with her, without snide remarks, vengeance, and malice. Talking negative about her in front of the kids is uncalled for and no very smart. He doesn't need to smile and kiss her ass. But a little self control goes a long way when you want to shout and yell and talk some sense into her, you simply walk away. When you want to call her names that she probably deserves, you say nothing at all. That is what a real man does.
A weak man, bitches, complains, calls names, tells people how wrong they are, and can't control himself and cares only about himself.

Scott, you don't have children, so I can understand this self preservation concept you speak of. You say being a child of divorce, you saw what happens to a weak man?  I am sorry you were a child and had to live through a divorce. I can not imagine what that would be like.
Being a pushover is one thing, being a real man is quite different than what you describe however.

I have no children of my own, but I have a son from my First marriage whom I love dearly and I would do anything and everything for him to make sure he can find his way in this world. After his mother died we had to stay strong and even though he is not my son, He is half of my wife, and he is my family. If anyone ever suggested what you did, to let a lover or bf take responsibility for him cause he is not really mine, I would question your sanity and then your value system, as it seems very unhealthy and devoid of any kind of loving relationship.
Yea, his real Dad maybe a son of a bitch, but he is his dad and Why would that ever even come up? I am not in competition for anything.  I love him, and I loved her. That can bring a person the greatest joy and the greatest sorrow, but it should not be taken away and should never even be considered.

Just because andalusia246's wife is screwed up, does not mean that he should let that make him act any less of a man.

andalusia246,  I applaud your wanting to make it work, and honour your vows.
I assume that at some point you loved each other, and that has now been obscured by her actions and  attacks. Psychologically damaged women are the most difficult to deal with and I don't envy your situation, but, keep in mind, you love that boy, and she is his mom.  Treat her with respect and neutrality when it comes to him, even when you feel like you can't, do it anyway, you will come out the other side a changed and better man. This is a test, and you are about to ride a roller-coaster that you will sometimes not believe what comes next.  Just be the best Dad you can be, and love your kids, no matter what.  Hang in there, you are not the first one to deal with this, and you won't be the last. Use it as a learning experience, and better your life from it.

[newjason]

Did you originally hire an attorney to help with the immigration and visa paperwork?
If so, I would start with a call to his/her office.

[Ade]

I see nothing said in the posts about being classy.
Self preservation may be the highest law, however, When you have children, that changes (or it should )  the selfish instinct changes into something else that makes the children the most important priority.
Even if children side with their mother, they will still need a strong male role model in their lives to give them what they need to be successful adults.
Acting like you suggest is indeed selfish and self centred. 

This "screw you bitch"  type of attitude does  no one any good and teaches the kids that , hey it's okay to act like asses and not have control of yourself and your emotions when things get a little rocky and since you are born by her, I don't have to do anything for you, so go find a father somewhere else.

No one suggested showing weakness.
IMO showing weakness , is a person who can't control himself and get's upset and throws a tantrum when things don't go his way.  Getting upset and yelling and fighting, especially in front of children is weak, irresponsible, and not the way normal adults behave.

He did mention that he loves her son, so I assume her son has a similar feeling in return toward him.
So, a  real man turns his back on his loved ones, just because the son's mother is a moron? Sorry, there is something very backward with that way of thinking.

There  is a big difference between being civil and being Classy and mr. nice guy.
He doesn't have to love her. He doesn't have to even like her, but, he does have to deal with her and
his relationship with her son may be the only positive thing that child has going go his life and future.
He can talk to her, deal with her, and interact with her, without snide remarks, vengeance, and malice. Talking negative about her in front of the kids is uncalled for and no very smart. He doesn't need to smile and kiss her ass. But a little self control goes a long way when you want to shout and yell and talk some sense into her, you simply walk away. When you want to call her names that she probably deserves, you say nothing at all. That is what a real man does.
A weak man, bitches, complains, calls names, tells people how wrong they are, and can't control himself and cares only about himself.

Scott, you don't have children, so I can understand this self preservation concept you speak of. You say being a child of divorce, you saw what happens to a weak man?  I am sorry you were a child and had to live through a divorce. I can not imagine what that would be like.
Being a pushover is one thing, being a real man is quite different than what you describe however.

I have no children of my own, but I have a son from my First marriage whom I love dearly and I would do anything and everything for him to make sure he can find his way in this world. After his mother died we had to stay strong and even though he is not my son, He is half of my wife, and he is my family. If anyone ever suggested what you did, to let a lover or bf take responsibility for him cause he is not really mine, I would question your sanity and then your value system, as it seems very unhealthy and devoid of any kind of loving relationship.
Yea, his real Dad maybe a son of a bitch, but he is his dad and Why would that ever even come up? I am not in competition for anything.  I love him, and I loved her. That can bring a person the greatest joy and the greatest sorrow, but it should not be taken away and should never even be considered.

Just because andalusia246's wife is screwed up, does not mean that he should let that make him act any less of a man.

andalusia246,  I applaud your wanting to make it work, and honour your vows.
I assume that at some point you loved each other, and that has now been obscured by her actions and  attacks. Psychologically damaged women are the most difficult to deal with and I don't envy your situation, but, keep in mind, you love that boy, and she is his mom.  Treat her with respect and neutrality when it comes to him, even when you feel like you can't, do it anyway, you will come out the other side a changed and better man. This is a test, and you are about to ride a roller-coaster that you will sometimes not believe what comes next.  Just be the best Dad you can be, and love your kids, no matter what.  Hang in there, you are not the first one to deal with this, and you won't be the last. Use it as a learning experience, and better your life from it.

Well said.

[noelscot]

I see nothing said in the posts about being classy.
Self preservation may be the highest law, however, When you have children, that changes (or it should )  the selfish instinct changes into something else that makes the children the most important priority.
Even if children side with their mother, they will still need a strong male role model in their lives to give them what they need to be successful adults.
Acting like you suggest is indeed selfish and self centred. 

This "screw you bitch"  type of attitude does  no one any good and teaches the kids that , hey it's okay to act like asses and not have control of yourself and your emotions when things get a little rocky and since you are born by her, I don't have to do anything for you, so go find a father somewhere else.

No one suggested showing weakness.
IMO showing weakness , is a person who can't control himself and get's upset and throws a tantrum when things don't go his way.  Getting upset and yelling and fighting, especially in front of children is weak, irresponsible, and not the way normal adults behave.

He did mention that he loves her son, so I assume her son has a similar feeling in return toward him.
So, a  real man turns his back on his loved ones, just because the son's mother is a moron? Sorry, there is something very backward with that way of thinking.

There  is a big difference between being civil and being Classy and mr. nice guy.
He doesn't have to love her. He doesn't have to even like her, but, he does have to deal with her and
his relationship with her son may be the only positive thing that child has going go his life and future.
He can talk to her, deal with her, and interact with her, without snide remarks, vengeance, and malice. Talking negative about her in front of the kids is uncalled for and no very smart. He doesn't need to smile and kiss her ass. But a little self control goes a long way when you want to shout and yell and talk some sense into her, you simply walk away. When you want to call her names that she probably deserves, you say nothing at all. That is what a real man does.
A weak man, bitches, complains, calls names, tells people how wrong they are, and can't control himself and cares only about himself.

Scott, you don't have children, so I can understand this self preservation concept you speak of. You say being a child of divorce, you saw what happens to a weak man?  I am sorry you were a child and had to live through a divorce. I can not imagine what that would be like.
Being a pushover is one thing, being a real man is quite different than what you describe however.

I have no children of my own, but I have a son from my First marriage whom I love dearly and I would do anything and everything for him to make sure he can find his way in this world. After his mother died we had to stay strong and even though he is not my son, He is half of my wife, and he is my family. If anyone ever suggested what you did, to let a lover or bf take responsibility for him cause he is not really mine, I would question your sanity and then your value system, as it seems very unhealthy and devoid of any kind of loving relationship.
Yea, his real Dad maybe a son of a bitch, but he is his dad and Why would that ever even come up? I am not in competition for anything.  I love him, and I loved her. That can bring a person the greatest joy and the greatest sorrow, but it should not be taken away and should never even be considered.

Just because andalusia246's wife is screwed up, does not mean that he should let that make him act any less of a man.

andalusia246,  I applaud your wanting to make it work, and honour your vows.
I assume that at some point you loved each other, and that has now been obscured by her actions and  attacks. Psychologically damaged women are the most difficult to deal with and I don't envy your situation, but, keep in mind, you love that boy, and she is his mom.  Treat her with respect and neutrality when it comes to him, even when you feel like you can't, do it anyway, you will come out the other side a changed and better man. This is a test, and you are about to ride a roller-coaster that you will sometimes not believe what comes next.  Just be the best Dad you can be, and love your kids, no matter what.  Hang in there, you are not the first one to deal with this, and you won't be the last. Use it as a learning experience, and better your life from it.

When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me. You've made quite a few assumptions in this post.

[newjason]

When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me. You've made quite a few assumptions in this post.

Yes, you are correct. I did. I meant nothing personal toward you Scott.  I know you are a decent man.
I hope your outlook will change if you should ever have children. Forgive my ass, u and me are a lot alike.
Because we have both been with women with traits that the OP's wife posses, and It didn't end well, we know what he might be about to go through. My main point is that If the parents can't be civil about the break up, It leaves little chance for the children to experience any kind of stable home life.

[BC]

Her son will soon be 7 years old. She has a temp job in banking making about 15.00 dollars and hour.

That is a tender age.  Don't know how deep his relationship was with the biological father, but already likely looking at a 'double whammy' as far as feelings of abandonment go.  There are several helpful sites, maybe some physical resources in your area.  Just google children and divorce.  an example here http://www.helpguide.org/mental/children_divorce.htm  It would be well worth it for you all to sit down with a priest or other professional to keep the child's life as normal as possible during this difficult period.

About the divorce itself aside from legal advice I would encourage keeping up communication with your wife to try and sort things out, after all, you both need to be in position to survive financially.  Great to hear she has a job but may need a little more for a determined time so she can settle in her new life.  Keep on the high road regardless of how she reacts.  IMHO offering a bit more for a mutually acceptable period of time is better than a lower amount forever and a day.  Also address your interest in maintaining a relationship with her son.

Something along the lines of 'We can either throw away money with lawyers or sit down and work out a good plan together that will require only minimal filing costs for the actual divorce'.

I am not a lawyer so all this FWIW.

[Muzh]

Newjason, I was really impressed by your statement. You are definitely a man. 

[BC]

Newjason, I was really impressed by your statement. You are definitely a man. 

Just some personal experience...

Have been divorced twice, first married young, had little in the way of assets and no kids.  No brainer, DIY divorce filing and that was that, we went our separate ways.  This was in the US and cost about 50 bucks back then.

Second in Germany after a 10 year relationship.  One bio and two non bio children involved.  Divorce was straightforward, at that time custody was granted to the mother which was standard practice at the time. Judge said 'You may do things differently in the US, but here in Germany the wife gets the kids.. period.  Support was a separate legal issue.  Approached by wife and her haughty lawyer, they said we'll see you at the next hearing for support.  I simply stated that if they are smart they would accept my offer of X amount which added up to rent and a decent number for food and minor expenses and she could have the car.  Take it or leave it, wife was working.  They balked a bit and I told them there was absolutely nothing that says I have to go to work tomorrow.  The amount was quite ok and above that what the law dictated.  Never heard from the lawyer again.  Every payment was on time and in full with the remark 'unverbindliche unterhaltszahlung fuer kinder'  or in english non binding support payment for children. 

I supported my older kids (non bio) until they got out of school and within a year or two our youngest was living with me.  He was 9 at the time.  His grades in school were not good and family life inadequate.  Ex was a mess..  I told her to either sign new custody papers or I would spend every dime fighting.  He flourished after moving here and is now a successful young man making his own way in life.

After many years, each of the kids have thanked me for not being a penny pincher and for being there for them.  Those words and even tears were priceless.  I do not differentiate by genes except to clarify.  The older kids eventually made contact with their biological father (my mother calls him sperm donor).  For a short while the new connection was ok, but quickly wore off when reality set in.  Being a partent is much, much more than genes.  Kids know who their 'dad' is regardless.

I guess bottom line is that in these circumstances there is a high road..and even if priced a bit higher well worth it in the long run.

I agree with newjason 100% when he states:

Just be the best Dad you can be, and love your kids, no matter what.

[noelscot]

Yes, you are correct. I did. I meant nothing personal toward you Scott.  I know you are a decent man.
I hope your outlook will change if you should ever have children. Forgive my ass, u and me are a lot alike.
Because we have both been with women with traits that the OP's wife posses, and It didn't end well, we know what he might be about to go through. My main point is that If the parents can't be civil about the break up, It leaves little chance for the children to experience any kind of stable home life.

I pretty much have an FSUM outlook on how to deal with FSUW. Unfortunately (depends how you look at it, I reckon ), geographical location won't change a FSUW's mentality. I'm really shocked this thread has gone this far without the classic "there's the FSUW's side to the story too". I'll go ahead and lob that one up in the air and maybe one of them can pin a rose on me.

[Ade]

I pretty much have an FSUM outlook on how to deal with FSUW. Unfortunately (depends how you look at it, I reckon ), geographical location won't change a FSUW's mentality. I'm really shocked this thread has gone this far without the classic "there's the FSUW's side to the story too". I'll go ahead and lob that one up in the air and maybe one of them can pin a rose on me.

Of course there's "her side" too. Or do you believe absolutely everything any old stranger on the net tells you? And, irregardless of that, just about everyone is biased by their own perspective and their "truth" will reflect that. It's a fact of human psychology.


None of that is relevant in relation to the kids and how the adults in a train wreck should behave in order to spare them as much as they can.

[GQBlues]

A notation:

In reading back to the OP, at least according to the andalucia's post, while seemingly imminent, a divorce hadn't been mentioned. That's my bad since I saw enough signs in his post that tells me his marriage is on a one way lane to the end of the world. It isn't quite there yet. It is still clinging to the rough edges of the cliff.

Maybe the OP can come back and help us fill in the blanks:

How does he know the gal is/was cheating on him?
Is she pursuing a divorce with him, or discussed it with him?
Was the sleeping arrangement a culmination of repeated arguments, or did it suddenly occurred without much of a feedback from the OP?

The OP calling a permanent resident card (GC) 'visa' numerous times, considering his full exposure to the process, kind of raised more than just a brow with me.

[Gator]

And, irregardless of that...

Incredulous.  Perhaps been away from English natives too long.

[Ade]

Incredulous.  Perhaps been away from English natives too long.

You have? I guess that's what happens when you live in America.

Just for you;

Usage note
Irregardless  is considered nonstandard because of the two negative elements ir-  and -less.  It was probably formed on the analogy of such words as irrespective, irrelevant,  and irreparable.  Those who use it, including on occasion educated speakers, may do so from a desire to add emphasis. Irregardless  first appeared in the early 20th century and was perhaps popularized by its use in a comic radio program of the 1930s

[Gator]

You have? I guess that's what happens when you live in America.

  UK and USA, two countries separated only by a common language and the Atlantic.
 
I should have guessed such, knowing that you spell color as colour, and insist the word aluminum has five syllables rather than three.
 
FYI, "Listing a word as nonstandard is a way that dictionaries concede that a word is in common use, but isn't really a proper word."  So says Grammar Girl, a hot number with her glasses off.   Also, she agrees with me and considers irregardless a double negative. 
 
http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/irregardless.aspx
 
On some issues I can be relentless.  However, on this one I am irrelentless, so I surrender. 

[SANDRO43]

Usage note
Irregardless is considered nonstandard because of the two negative elements ir-  and -less. It was probably formed on the analogy of such words as irrespective, irrelevant, and irreparable. Those who use it, including on occasion educated speakers, may do so from a desire to add emphasis.

A polite way of saying it's fundamentally ungrammatical, on both sides of the Atlantic . Maybe the North Sea can plead irrevocableless attenuating circumstances ?

Irregardless  first appeared in the early 20th century and was perhaps popularized by its use in a comic radio program of the 1930s

I'd be curious to learn when/where .

[SANDRO43]

I should have guessed such, knowing that you spell color as colour, and insist the word aluminum has five syllables rather than three.

Actually it's 4 syllables, not 3 :

American English:  /ˌəlˈuːmɪnəm/ ə-LOO-mi-nəm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aluminium

If it's syllables that you adore,
ALUMINUM irregardless has four.
This poem I've writ
wouldn't stand up a bit
with a different number, for sure .

[noelscot]

Of course there's "her side" too. Or do you believe absolutely everything any old stranger on the net tells you? And, irregardless of that, just about everyone is biased by their own perspective and their "truth" will reflect that. It's a fact of human psychology.


None of that is relevant in relation to the kids and how the adults in a train wreck should behave in order to spare them as much as they can.

Of course I do not believe everything that is written on the internet.
 
All of it is based on self-report, which has to be verified. 
 
However, some people on here fashion themselves as Hamilton Burger or Philip Marlowe, then seek to assassinate a person's character, like it is a game or something. Of course, they do this from behind internet monikers.
 
Usually, a guy will post on here, with something really interesting, and *some* RW will question OP's veracity, articulateness, perception, and memory (as if they are impeaching him on the witness stand), then their mentally-castrated WM spaniels roll over and join in a frenzy to assassinate the OP's character.
 
So, my comment is not about whether or not the OP's story is credible, I'm commenting that I'm surprised that it's taken so long for the usual suspects to run the guy down.
 
I guess when children are involved, it is best to put up the pretense of having class, and also the topic of divorce disturbs the fantasy.
 
If we want to talk psychology. Let's talk about the Stockholm syndrome that's behind advocating that the guy roll over like a spaniel and take all this woman's bad behavior and be civil, classy, etc. Top priority. Must be civil. Divorce is a burning building and chivalry is dead. I'd grab up my blood children and knock down anyone in the way of me getting the hell out.   

[calmissile]

Of course I do not believe everything that is written on the internet.
 
All of it is based on self-report, which has to be verified. 
 
However, some people on here fashion themselves as Hamilton Burger or Philip Marlowe, then seek to assassinate a person's character, like it is a game or something. Of course, they do this from behind internet monikers.
 
Usually, a guy will post on here, with something really interesting, and *some* RW will question OP's veracity, articulateness, perception, and memory (as if they are impeaching him on the witness stand), then their mentally-castrated WM spaniels roll over and join in a frenzy to assassinate the OP's character.
 
So, my comment is not about whether or not the OP's story is credible, I'm commenting that I'm surprised that it's taken so long for the usual suspects to run the guy down.
 
I guess when children are involved, it is best to put up the pretense of having class, and also the topic of divorce disturbs the fantasy.
 
If we want to talk psychology. Let's talk about the Stockholm syndrome that's behind advocating that the guy roll over like a spaniel and take all this woman's bad behavior and be civil, classy, etc. Top priority. Must be civil. Divorce is a burning building and chivalry is dead. I'd grab up my blood children and knock down anyone in the way of me getting the hell out.

+1

[Faux Pas]

Of course I do not believe everything that is written on the internet.
 
All of it is based on self-report, which has to be verified. 
 
However, some people on here fashion themselves as Hamilton Burger or Philip Marlowe, then seek to assassinate a person's character, like it is a game or something. Of course, they do this from behind internet monikers.
 
Usually, a guy will post on here, with something really interesting, and *some* RW will question OP's veracity, articulateness, perception, and memory (as if they are impeaching him on the witness stand), then their mentally-castrated WM spaniels roll over and join in a frenzy to assassinate the OP's character.
 
So, my comment is not about whether or not the OP's story is credible, I'm commenting that I'm surprised that it's taken so long for the usual suspects to run the guy down.
 
I guess when children are involved, it is best to put up the pretense of having class, and also the topic of divorce disturbs the fantasy.
 
If we want to talk psychology. Let's talk about the Stockholm syndrome that's behind advocating that the guy roll over like a spaniel and take all this woman's bad behavior and be civil, classy, etc. Top priority. Must be civil. Divorce is a burning building and chivalry is dead. I'd grab up my blood children and knock down anyone in the way of me getting the hell out.

This statement begs the questions, have you ever been through a divorce and do you have any children affected as a result of one?

No, you don't have to step into a big steamy pile of pooh to know it stinks but, there are somethings about the experience only those who've done it can feel. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Do you really know what you would do when faced with it?

[pitbull]

   Divorce is a burning building and chivalry is dead. I'd grab up my blood children and knock down anyone in the way of me getting the hell out.

This is exactly why own kids are a priority in a second marriage. There is a good chance that should things go awry, the step-daddy (or step-mommy) would "grab up my blood children and knock down anyone in the way of me getting the hell out".  They would definitely knock down those "not-my-blood-kids" and not give a damn.

[noelscot]

This statement begs the questions, have you ever been through a divorce and do you have any children affected as a result of one?

No, you don't have to step into a big steamy pile of pooh to know it stinks but, there are somethings about the experience only those who've done it can feel. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Do you really know what you would do when faced with it?

My parents divorced. I was affected. I can't go back and buy a souvenir and change things, though, so I don't really dwell on it.


But no, I've never been divorced and never had any children.


If it did happen, though, I'd look out for my interests and just move forward.

[noelscot]

This is exactly why own kids are a priority in a second marriage. There is a good chance that should things go awry, the step-daddy (or step-mommy) would "grab up my blood children and knock down anyone in the way of me getting the hell out".  They would definitely knock down those "not-my-blood-kids" and not give a damn.

Oh but remember well the fantasy of many men on here in past threads was that blood isn't thicker than water and own kids in a second marriage are not the priority. In fact, the stepchildren are on equal footing with own kids. Even the fairy tales paint a more accurate picture of this basic trend in second marriages than the guys on here selling some sort of irrationally altruistic FSUW stepmother who's going to put her own children under the bus for her step children. A lot of them want a Stepford wife and are disappointed when their Russkaya turns out to be human.


FSU people are survivors and I like their views on things.

[pitbull]

Oh but remember well the fantasy of many men on here in past threads was that blood isn't thicker than water and own kids in a second marriage are not the priority. In fact, the stepchildren are on equal footing with own kids. Even the fairy tales paint a more accurate picture of this basic trend in second marriages than the guys on here selling some sort of irrationally altruistic FSUW stepmother who's going to put her own children under the bus for her step children. A lot of them want a Stepford wife and are disappointed when their Russkaya turns out to be human.


FSU people are survivors and I like their views on things.

Yep, just like those naive FSUW who think an AM is going to be a great stepdaddy and her kids will be on equal footing with his own kids. Oops, hardly ever happens. And if the marriage dissolves, guess what, most would do just as you would - "grab up my blood children and knock down anyone in the way of me getting the hell out".