Trip to Kharkov

[bruttus]

hi,

Some of you will recognise me by mine previous post about that scam agency yeva4u.com
Well, this time i went for a trip to Kharkov, under guidance from Mila, wherefor mine thanks for the really good times and help

So before i came to Kharkov, things where already failing
First of all, i decided to come with the bus Kyiv_Kharkov, i booked a place for it (i wanted to do something else and the fact that i hate flying), but something went wrong and the buscompany didn't find mine booking
So i decided to take the train, i looked up for reservations, but i saw for booking a place in the train, you have to pay it with a creditcard, witch i do not have anymore
I thought no problem, because before i went to the airport in Brussels to take mine early plane, i saw that there where 40 seats left

On that day itself, i landed in Kyiv, first thing that i was shocked at was the organisation at the passport control, wow, huge different then last year, much better view of the line, and then when i gave mine passport, no questions asked if i was for vacation or business, or where i went, but i think that they thought that i came for EURO 2012, so everything went fine

So i finally arrived at the Kyiv trainstation, i tacked a English speaking volunteer, who worked there, and asked him to help me for ordering a trainticket to Kharkov.
Well, no seats available for the train to Kharkov, so i had to wait for the next morning at 06.15 am
After a time wayting, call me unlucky or just fate, i saw mine scammer, Marina, back at the trainstation in Kyiv, and to bad we recognised each other. with 1 different, she went white, was walking faster and eyes was fixed on me, 15 a 20 min later the police came, asking for mine passport and asking if i had problems with a girl, well, i knew more then enough who did it to me.
But, while i was wayting for to the morning train, i was talking with those volunteers, and they invited me to join with them to go to the fanzone in Kyiv, to watch the match Portugal-Spain, that was already an experience that nobody can take way from me
After a while, i went back to the trainstation for the few houres that i had to wait for mine train to Kharkov.

Then in the morning, a new shock arrived, what i saw, was ultra modern trains with everything on it, i have to admit i tacked first class, because i heard about the trains in Ukraine, and i wanted to travel in a bit luxury, but what i saw, didn't match with what i have heard and read about it
After 5 houres driving with train, i arrived finally at Kharkov, where i was picked up by Mila and here husband
After refreshing and a quick sleep, i had mine first date, well, i had a total of 3 different dates but i always came back to the first girl
Not that because she was young, but she had something what the other woman didn't had, diffcult to explain, but i felt more relaxted with here then with mine other dates, nonethe less, all the 3 woman's where really good looking

So after a couple day's taking a small break of dating, what really tiredsome is, and wayting when mine payment was arrived from work, i went to back to the first girl who i dated first (well, i had already 3 dates with that girl, before i tacked a small break of dating)
I spended the rest of mine time with here, went to bowling with here and Mila, swimming in the indoorswimming pool at Kharkov, and burning myself as red lobster at a spring somewhere near Kharkov, with of course a barbecue that Mila and here husband has prepared
Well, i enjoyed myself much better those day's then going out to restaurants, and from what i saw, the girl enjoyed hereself also with these things
And on the other side, i really saw something from the city, and from what i believe, the park where they are working, i saw maybe 1% of it, but it was more then worth it

so this trip was every penny worth, and Mila if i forget something, just put it in, mine head is still confused after a 7h busrit with no air-co, and a old men next to me who was snoring the whole busrit, and only ended when we reached a bushalte to go to the toilet, witch he had to do every time

[Chemist]

Seems like you had a good time despite a rough beginning.  Keep us updated!

[simila]

Hi I have heard of Mila , although I have had no personal contact with her or her husband.
i know that she doesnt own apartments , she just acts as an agent and earns money on top as a commission.
If you are looking to deal with independant apartment owners , rather than go through an agency , then my advise is to use an English/Ukraine husband and wife business called ; www.kharkov-for-rent.com.ua/en/

Many guys have used this company and have been very pleased with their services. 

[bruttus]

i know that
but still, the apartment where i was, was really nice, and in a good neighborhood, so for that i really don't mind to pay a bit extra for milla

but i don't think i go back to Kharkov, really doubting about it
while i had a really good time there, from the moment that i came back, i have met a girl there that i liked, until yesterday, i saw some signs on mine facebook, that i couldn't ignore

[bruttus]

well, the trip was good, but when i came back, it was totally different
i'm not gonna use mila's agency anymore, not because of mila, but i have mine doubts about it, but because 1 of here genuine lady's
i wonder to start, when i was there, i knew that i had competition about the same girl, but i hoped for a fair chance
i was wrong, just 2 weeks later when i came back, that girl and that guy was writting love poems to each other on to fb, when i asked about it, because that girl didn't do annything to communicate with me, she told me to forgive here, but she likes that guy very mutch

i wonder, why this genuine girl loved that other guy, asked to meet me every time, if she didn't had anny further intrest to knowing me
i taked the blaime on every front, the answer on skype was totaly difrent what that girl told to me earlyer, on the same moment, all the lovepoems and photo's on fb where suddenly deleted, and on the day that we talked tru skype, the same genuine lady deleted mine name on here skypeaccount
i waited a month after the talk with here, to hear what here answer would be

i have respect for the choice that she had made, but not how she did it towards me
the only thing that i asked to them both was honesty, because, since that i was being scammed by those bitches, i have problems to trust people

so goodbye

[CDW]

sorry about the experience you had, but don't give up and best of luck in your future

[Daveman]

Hey Bruttus, 


Hell man, be glad she found her "right" man.. yes, it is unfortunate for your feelings at the moment but it leaves the door open for that "right" woman who will want to be with *you* above all others.


This is dating and *life*, brother Bruttus. You don't choose some, some don't choose you.  It really has little to do with Mila or anyone else other than you and her.  You got along ok, you had some fun, but it seems someone else rocked her world.  You'll rock a great woman's world too.  And she'll rock yours.  Then you can pick out matching rocking chairs together. 


I have no idea why you waited a month for her answer to something.  If you are sure that was her FB page, and she was writing love poems.. that WAS your answer...


People in general avoid confrontation, especially when there is not a relationship already in progress.  Yes, the jilted party generally demands an answer to an unanswerable question.  Certainly not polite, but it is quite common.


Keep things real and stay out of the fantasy land of making every woman you date into a "wife"..  Have fun doing this, interacting with ladies, etc. and before you know that damn flying baby with the bow and arrow will zap you AND a special woman for you..


Stay away from women who would be *settling* for you or you for them.. I would bet she was showing signs during your visit things were OK but not fantabulous.

[bruttus]

i was panicking according to mila
this time i saw it early, but still, because i was working a lot, at that time, it was a vacation period in mine country

the main question is, and i don't get from no1 anny answer, if she loved that guy so mutch, why did she asked to meet me when i was there, why didn't she say it to me that i wasn't intresting enough to go further with
hell no, i have to found out via facebook, that she went 6 weeks later to visit that guy's country

well, aperntly i was good enough to have some fun with

and mila, if you read this, the reason why i don't wanna have a girl from mine country, is not of your bussines, but here it goes
6 years ago, when i was in the army, i lived together with a girl, after 3 weeks of military practice, i came home in to a empty apartment, with a sorry note from that girl
it taked me 3 years to gain some money, and building up a own live

[Isthmus]

Bruttus, don't take it too much to heart, Daveman is giving you some good advice. The girl may have thought you were an OK guy but she really clicked with someone else, it happens and you may have done (or will do) something similar to a girl as well ... it is just part and parcel of dating, and you shouldn't get too upset by it   

What did you think of Kharkov as a city? I spent a week there in August and really liked it   

[bruttus]

beautiful city, i wants to see that new park, when it is finished

to be honnest, i have to say, nope, i never did that, or i will do that similar to a other girl
to nice, and to shy to do things like that

well, next year, i have talked with a friend from Zaporozhye (he worked as an agent in yeva4u, but was fired), and he told me to do it his way
first as friends, and I've i meet a genuine girl, and if she don't speak English, i have to pay him as translator

[Mila]

Hi Filip,
I am glad you enjoyed Kharkov and I did my best to help you. But, she met you for several times and you are both young people and both have right to be with a person who is the most suitable for you. She picked another guy and they are happy. It means that you will also meet the right lady and build good and strong relationship. Good luck!

[bruttus]

well, if she was honnest, she met me a couple times, and i went further looking, or i went to zap, to meet a friend where, so i could keep mine promise that i made to that young couple a year ago

[Mila]

She is a nice and honest girl, but you both have the right to choose and she didn't date you for a long time, she dated a few times to be able to decide yes or not. I am sorry she picked the other guy, but it is her choice and you should respect it.
You know, I've noticed one thing, when I introduce people and they got clicked and got married, all is great, but some don't even say thanks for introduction. But when it doesn't work between the people, usually they blame me. Well, it is what it is. Unfortunately, I am not magic

[bruttus]

the question is still the same.
if the girl was in love to that other guy, why did she in sited to meet me, and maybe a other question, if you knew that she left to that guy's country, 6 weeks later when i came back from Kharkov
the decision of here choice, i respect that, but not the way how i have to find out

[CDW]

She is a nice and honest girl, but you both have the right to choose and she didn't date you for a long time, she dated a few times to be able to decide yes or not. I am sorry she picked the other guy, but it is her choice and you should respect it.
You know, I've noticed one thing, when I introduce people and they got clicked and got married, all is great, but some don't even say thanks for introduction. But when it doesn't work between the people, usually they blame me. Well, it is what it is. Unfortunately, I am not magic

Bruttus does have a good point.  If she is in love with the other guy, then why did she meet him.  I'm afraid that she is a very dishonest person.

[Faux Pas]

the question is still the same.
if the girl was in love to that other guy, why did she in sited to meet me, and maybe a other question, if you knew that she left to that guy's country, 6 weeks later when i came back from Kharkov
the decision of here choice, i respect that, but not the way how i have to find out

Geeze Bruttus. You are asking an age old question nobody was been able to answer. "What women want?" Maybe she didn't know she loved the other guy until she met you. Maybe she didn't love the other guy until after she met you, Maybe she doesn't love the other guy and has other plans. What if you were the other guy? What if you were the other guy and found out she went to meet you?

None of that matters. It doesn't mean any  thing that you found out on Facebook or by Carrier Pigeon. She chose him, doesn't mean you are any less a man or a person. All it means is that it isn't going to work out between you and her.

If your shit is together as you stated, you would recognize that this is only a set back, not the end of the world. Quit your sniveling, pull up your bootstraps and get back in the game

[newjason]

Hey bruttus,
Didn't you say you were dating other girls on that trip ?
Did you have sex with that girl?
Why did you expect that she was not dating other guys?
You are single. That is what single people do.
They date.
Forget about her, or if you really care about her , wish her happiness for finding someone who she is happy with.
How is this any different than dating local girls?
Other than it is more expensive and you don't speak their language.

[ML]

The OP's English is not clear enough to determine exactly what he is trying  to say.

However, it seems the basic idea is that a gal had already decided on another guy, and yet she was leading him on.  And he seems to be saying that Mila knew about this.  Don't know  if there were big dinner expenses and fees going to Mila; but if yes, then he has reason to be ticked at both of them.

In any event, this points out the pitfalls of restricting your pool too early in the game, and not keeping your options open long enough.  It is never a done deal until a proposal is made and accepted.  And even then, it may not be a lasting deal.

Others are giving some good advice regarding moving on.  It is good to be highly peeeeed if you are mislead by someone . . . but for your own well being, best to blow off steam good and loud, and then move on with your life and not interfere with your future happiness by harking back.

However, if Mila was truly involved in this misleading, and earning fees from it, then this is a  warning sign to others.

[Hammer2722]

The OP's English is not clear enough to determine exactly what he is trying  to say.

However, it seems the basic idea is that a gal had already decided on another guy, and yet she was leading him on.  And he seems to be saying that Mila knew about this.  Don't know  if there were big dinner expenses and fees going to Mila; but if yes, then he has reason to be ticked at both of them.

In any event, this points out the pitfalls of restricting your pool too early in the game, and not keeping your options open long enough.  It is never a done deal until a proposal is made and accepted.  And even then, it may not be a lasting deal.

Others are giving some good advice regarding moving on.  It is good to be highly peeeeed if you are mislead by someone . . . but for your own well being, best to blow off steam good and loud, and then move on with your life and not interfere with your future happiness by harking back.

However, if Mila was truly involved in this misleading, and earning fees from it, then this is a  warning sign to others.

I agree with ML. I too think this is what Bruttus is upset about and if true, then he has a right to be pissed off. He feels like he was used.

[Mila]

First of all, when I introduced the girl to Filip she wasn't in love with that guy, second, she met Filip for several times, so as he did with other ladies, third, it was only a friendly meeting, no more, fourth, she wanted to get to know him little better and see if he is for her or not. After all she decided he is not for her and decided to be with the guy she was keeping in touch. We all have a choice and she didn't promise anything. Why to blow it out that much, if it is all about people's personal choice. I only introduce people, I was sure that girl was looking for serious relationship and the guy was looking, so that's why they met, but the final result positive or negative has nothing to do with me. I understand it is not pleasant at all for Filip, but I can do nothing about it. I am sorry if he is upset with me, but it is not my fault and I did nothing bad.

[bruttus]

i met 3 girls
the first one, where i have so Mitch trouble with now, was 7 day's,
the second one, she wasn't intrested in knowing me further, end of that, i saw her 1 time
the third one, i didn't feel Anny click between me and that girl, so i ended it, otherwise I'm not Anny better than a ordinary player, i saw her 1 time
so, i think 7 day's are a bit long
i could have done something else, for example to go to Zaporozhye

and if i didn't figured it out, i had money sended to mine paypal account, to pay her a gift for her b-day, for some English lessons for her, and talk with Skype, ready for to transfer to your paypal account

and don't tell me, that she hasn't decided it between me and that guy
i don't know if you need a visum for mexico (if i'm not wrong), but 6 weeks later when i left Kharkov, i have mine questions about it
takes longer then 6 weeks to orgenise this

edit: make it 1 month, because she went to her family in Russia around 15 Aug. until somewhere begin Sept.

[Hammer2722]

Bruttus, at this point it doesn't do you any good to brood about this. I recommend that you just move on. I have been to Ukraine 5 times and met 5 women during this time. The first 4 didn't work out for different reasons ( pro-dater, scammer etc...). I finally found my girl on the fifth try and she will be with me very soon.
 
I say this so that you can take heart that if you move on and continue your search, you will find the one for you.

[jone]

Brutus,

We must have been on the same page.  I, too, went to Kharkov this summer.  I was there later (early August) as most of the rides were already finished at Gorky.  (They did not have the new park open for Independence Day but, according to some friends, it is now open.  I hear that Yellow roller coaster is killer.)  I, also, flew into Kyiv.  I wanted to ride the bus to Kharkov to 'rub elbows' with people before I got there.  It was a long bus trip, but it was well worth it.  If you are in the airport and just go to the bus window (Terminal B) and get a ticket.  I had no problem.

Don't give up on Kharkov.  The number of eligible women there is unbelievable.  Love is not going to bite you in the behind.  It has to land on your shoulder.  And if you go in late summer you can believe that many of the upwardly mobile single women are going to be on vacation.  The last two weeks of August, especially.  It is easier to establish a relationship with a woman in the fall or in the spring.   The summer months are always dotted with family events and obligations that will interfere with your efforts to cement a relationship.

Good luck.

Jon 

[Ranetka]

In any event, this points out the pitfalls of restricting your pool too early in the game, and not keeping your options open long enough.  It is never a done deal until a proposal is made and accepted.  And even then, it may not be a lasting deal.

And that's exactly what this girl did.


Bruttus,


People sometimes break up after months of dating, even after an engagement. It is painful but that's life. You two were not in committed relationship, you can not complain about her seeing someone else.


I would also say date on your own without an agency next time; this way there will be only yourself to blame.


Follow ML's advice and understand women can do the same.










 

[Daveman]

Bruttus is at a disadvantage in this discussion due to his English skills. Not terrible, but still difficult to decipher in places.


It does seem that he feels that something isn't quite right.  It all boils down to "What did Mila know and when did she  know it."   Which, without a confession, is very difficult if not impossible to ascertain.  Mila is correct, absolutely, in one regard.  It was a friendly meeting - nothing more.  That is what all of these meetings are.




Here are some questions which can clarify and probably assist Bruttus with moving on...


How old are the three ladies you met?
How old are you?

Why were there only three?
Why not have 'friendly meetings' with more?
How much money did you spend on this girl and for what? 
Why did you decide to spend all your time with this one lady?