Is it worth it to marry a woman from the FSU and some questions

[yoshiii]

Hello

I have read lots of forums here and on other sites and it seems that marrying someone from the FSU is a big risk move. Are there any happy stories? 

If so much bad things  can and do happen, why do people still look online to find and  marry a FSU women?

I know what some people say about AW and I understand, but don't forget about all of the AW who do love their family and stay with the husband thru good and the bad.  The ones who do keep in shape and have a loving family.

I know a lot of the bad things that guys complain about concerning AW and I know some AW are quick to turn on you and want a divorce but what about the tons  of other good ones?  Do the guys who look for FSU women only want smoking hot women? 

First, I think Americans divorce too easily. Way to easily, over stupid stuff. Remember marriage is supposed t be forever. Good times or bad. Money or no money, bad mood good mood.
It is both parties responsibilities to work at the marriage. It is the husband's job to be the rock and strength no matter what.
I know some men or the women cheat or do certain bad things that can end the marriage.

I know that some American women attitudes are crap, but each country has its good and bad about its women.  I know some men don't like the ones who dress just like one of the guys and are lazy and dress non attractively after the marriage. But I think if the husband and wife would communicate more, things like this can be worked on and changed.  Don't just let your wife blow up, help her out, get her to the gym. Help her feel special about herself. Do something.

I  think international marriage is a great thing. 

But what are the real reasons why many men search for a FSU women? I don't believe the oh they take of the house better than American women. I believe all countries have women who will do that.

If you already have an interest in that country and learned about the country and wanted to meet someone from there that is one thing, but jumping the pond because a man thinks that all or most American women are bad is a bad thing to say about yourself too.  You are American, so what does that say about you? 

Not starting any arguements, but I want people to think and I want to understand more on the topic.

I have my views about AW and think some of the things they do and some of their ways are not cool. But each country is going to have that.

Is it worth it to marry a FSU Women? Are they that different from AW? They will live in American eventually once you marry, so what is to stop them from becoming Americanized? 

I know that not everyone becomes Americanized but it can happen.

If you are taking a big chance of a FSU using you for a green card, why  take that chance?

I am not saying marrying a FSU is bad. I mean if you find someone who loves you and you love them, that is wonderful.

I think that if someone wants to meet someone from the FSU that is cool. I am not judging anyone, I just want to understand more about why guys decide to marry them.



But don't do it just because you have the thought that AW are bad and all are fat and so on.

[Steamer]

I have read lots of forums here and on other sites and it seems that marrying someone from the FSU is a big risk move. Are there any happy stories? 

No greater risk than marrying an AW. This is debatable but is MHO. Yes there are happy stories and I feel that I'm one of them.
 

If so much bad things  can and do happen, why do people still look online to find and  marry a FSU women?

Because it increases the available pool of women. Yes bad things can and do happen which is why we need to exercise due dilligence. If I were to just run down the street and marry the first AW that said yes to me I believe that the potential for problems would be the same if  I did the same in the FSU.

[Gator]

 Do the guys who look for FSU women only want smoking hot women? 

Most men start with that thought.  Many discover that  behind the pretty face is more, much more dependent upon the woman.   Many RW can be interesting and fun.  They can be difficult too.   I rarely have been bored when with a RW, even after the novelty has worn off.

[Turboguy]

There are lots and lots of happy stories.  Sometimes the train wrecks get the attention and the happy stories leave little to talk about.
I do think the effort that it requires to complete the process, the trips, dealing with the governement to get her visa, the effort it takes to get her here and all the things you go through for helping her adapt builds a bond that you don't get in a relationship with an AW.  It's is something you go through together that makes you partners.  It is a little like when I built a house myself, long ago in my first marriage,  I did almost everything myself from laying the block, framing it, the roof, the drywall, etc.  I felt a lot more bond to that house than I would have had I just bought a house.  I think you feel more of a bond because of the work you go through.
Russian women can be very different from each other so it is hard to make generilizations such as they are intelligent, sexy or beautiful.  I am sure there must be some dumb, ugly RW.  In general however they put more emphasis on looking good.  The lifestyle and diet tend to put them in better shape than their American counterparts.  Once you have been married a few years those things are less important that who the person really is that you are married to.  Sorta like the statement I have heard a number of times.  "For every beautiful woman there is a man who is tired of puttting up with her crap."   Beauty is not as important as having someone you can be around for long times and enjoy their company.
There are a lot of very intelligent well educated women if the FSU.   Having an intelligent wife can make life more interesting.  I have been married for 4 1/2 years and never get bored around my wife.  I enjoy every second of the time we are together. 
There are risks.  I think if someone does not chase a fantasy and spends time getting to know the woman they are interested in marrying the odds of success are increased greatly.   
 
 

[CDW]

I am not saying marrying a FSU is bad. I mean if you find someone who loves you and you love them, that is wonderful.

You could easily love someone who is from USA or anywhere else in the world.   Not all AW / British girls are bad.   

When you find a FSU woman, you still play game of Russian Roulette.  It is still not guarantee that you will live happily for the rest of your life.   You did marry an AW in the 1st place, thinking it was a "forever" for you.

[CDW]

Do the guys who look for FSU women only want smoking hot women? 

Unfortunately many men are still looking for "smoking hot" women especially newbies. 

If you want to take a chance by looking for a "smoking hot" women, you will find yourself into a huge competition with many of other men.  Even if you look like Brad Pitt, these "smoking hot" women might choose to the one man who has more money than you, especially if they think "looks" aren't important.

Money will always play part of the dating game by many women.

On the important side, outer beauty fade, but inner beauty does not.   "Smoking hot" women who have very bad attitude, b*tchy  OR normal women with less competition chance and very good personality?  TAKE YOUR PICK!

The real question is that, are you prepared to look for a "smoking hot" woman? 

[roykirk]

Lots of happy stories around here!  Some bad ones too.  Mine turned out happy despite the fact that some warned I could be heading for a train wreck.      It could have turned out completely different.  You're taking a big risk.  If you're willing to a big gamble on finding love, then give it a shot.  While I understand the comparison to the risk of marrying an AW, personally I think people in this process are taking an even bigger risk.  Just a "normal" marriage in the US has a 50% chance of failing.  When you marry a FSU woman, you're mixing in huge cultural issues, home sickness, and women from countries and lives that are often much worse off than the quality of life they can have here (thus increasing the gold digging aspect). 

[BC]

Men have always been attracted to the exotic, whether it be women or cars.

It's a 'because I can' thing IMHO.

Kinda funny though.. We know quite a few FSUW / IT couples down here.  Out of 10 couples two of the women I would consider hot.  The rest are quite normal at least for here. Most seem happy except for the two hotties, who just happen to be married to men with large age differences.

[Jumper]

Hello
I have read lots of forums here and on other sites and it seems that marrying someone from the FSU is a big risk move. Are there any happy stories? 

yes!

Do something.

I did!
I dint just wait around to see if i'd run into the person for me.I actively looked, here.
This included also looking elsewhere.

But what are the real reasons why many men search for a FSU women? I don't believe the oh they take of the house better than American women. I believe all countries have women who will do that.

Sorry not everyone  is looking for a cook or maid, that's a bit insulting?
I was looking for the same things anyone looks for in a marriage,and that seldom has much to do with domestic chores.

I was open to many nationalities,I don't see in the modern world a significant reason to intentionally limit my choices or chances.

Not starting any arguements, but I want people to think and I want to understand more on the topic.

You want people to think? about what??
about the increased risks?
I'm not trying to start an debate either ,   but I'm not sure you are qualified to understand  those risks.
It seems most of your data is from reading lots on the  internet.While a good source of info at times, its also full of a boat load of garbage information?

Is it worth it to marry a FSU Women?

Your question assumes some great trial or tribulation to be *worth* the herculean effort.
lol sorry it just isn't always like that, and if it is run!!!

so we have to determine if its worth *what*?
More risk?
I dint find it any more risk than other relationships,or resultant marriage.
The risks are real, but highly over rated in my experience.
More trouble? more time and effort?
Lets see? I normally travel anyway, I enjoy it. I normally meet women anyway, I like them !
So, really I had a grand adventure, a wonderful time while doing so, and will always be glad we went through those experiences together.

So you see? My wife (while truly amazing) doesn't have to be anything more than I would have met in my own country, she just needs to be herself, the woman I love!

[Are they that different from AW?

yes! and no! afterall, humans are far more alike ,than different.

They will live in American eventually once you marry, so what is to stop them from becoming Americanized?

nothing at all? and I wouldn't want to? Your question  assumes that posters see something wrong in being somehow americanized. Thats not the case.  She's fairly western anyway, but if she assimilates more that's fine too.I dint marry her country or culture I married an individual. I like her culture and her country, what she retains is great!! what changes is fine as well?

If you are taking a big chance of a FSU using you for a green card, why  take that chance?

I have a lot of experience,and this is not a risk to me.at all.
Again i'll repeat, while it can ,and does  happen ,I think that risk is overstated.

I am not saying marrying a FSU is bad. I mean if you find someone who loves you and you love them, that is wonderful.

lol gee thanks! we are happy!

I think that if someone wants to meet someone from the FSU that is cool. I am not judging anyone, I just want to understand more about why guys decide to marry them.

Well that's confusing to me?You state that you think its cool to meet someone from the FSU.
Well if its cool.. then why not?and if the couple hits it off,and continues to, whats further to understand that they would then eventually marry?
boy meets girl,  and then settle down - is a fairly common tale in all countries?

This is no different, you're thinking the added risks make it different.Which is true in some ways.
Yet the divorce rate domestically is 50% .Flip a coin for those odds?

Isn't it better to ask..just how much riskier is it?

[Jumper]

You could easily love someone who is from USA or anywhere else in the world.   Not all AW / British girls are bad.   

When you find a FSU woman, you still play game of Russian Roulette.  It is still not guarantee that you will live happily for the rest of your life.   You did marry an AW in the 1st place, thinking it was a "forever" for you.

How about this?

When you find and marry any  woman, you still play a game of Russian Roulette.
(sometimes without the accent,which is not nearly as entertaining)
  It is still not guarantee that you will live happily for the rest of your life.


   You did marry a *insert nationality * in the 1st place, thinking it was a "forever" for you.
if divorced then, it only  proves divorce happens domestically too?

[Jumper]

Unfortunately many men are still looking for "smoking hot" women especially newbies. 

If you want to take a chance by looking for a "smoking hot" women, you will find yourself into a huge competition with many of other men. 

That's just life, play or sit on the bench and watch?

Even if you look like Brad Pitt, these "smoking hot" women might choose to the one man who has more money than you, especially if they think "looks" aren't important.

And in what world does the less attractive woman also not have this possibilty?


On the important side, outer beauty fade, but inner beauty does not.   "Smoking hot" women who have very bad attitude, b*tchy  OR normal women with less competition chance and very good personality?  TAKE YOUR PICK!

This is presented as only being possible in one or the other?
while it can be some stereotype.
Its pretty unfair to all the very attractive women who are normal ,sincere, , ethical,  charming ,caring etc.
Its also odd when many unattractive women are not the angels portrayed to be,just because of outward appearances. 

The real question is that, are you prepared to look for a "smoking hot" woman?

While I dint  look only for them, i sure dint exclude them?LOL! 
  Last time i checked I could spot a poor personality pretty far off,
whether she had outward beauty dint disguise it,so it wasn't some big hurdle to avoid those.

[roykirk]

Men have always been attracted to the exotic, whether it be women or cars.

It's a 'because I can' thing IMHO.

Kinda funny though.. We know quite a few FSUW / IT couples down here.  Out of 10 couples two of the women I would consider hot.  The rest are quite normal at least for here. Most seem happy except for the two hotties, who just happen to be married to men with large age differences.

That's funny you should mention that.  Out of the FSUW/AM couples we know, one of them I would consider smoking hot.  Hot to the extent that when I host a barbecue I let the guys know she's coming because then I know I'll have a good turnout sort of hot.      She's also the only one who constantly tells my wife how she's looking for a way out of her several year marriage to her husband.  There's 20 years between them and he's a dumpy overweight dude.  Never saw that coming. 

[mendeleyev]

Some days I feel like the luckiest man in the world. The other days I not only feel it, but know it.

Has more to do with connection of the heart however. Sometimes the nationalities thing can get in the way.

[IAmZon]

Hot to the extent that when I host a barbecue I let the guys know she's coming because then I know I'll have a good turnout sort of hot.      She's also the only one who constantly tells my wife how she's looking for a way out of her several year marriage to her husband.  There's 20 years between them and he's a dumpy overweight dude.  Never saw that coming.

Crowded BBQ's with gawking men LOL

But, I am sorry, I just don't get it - hell, I don't think I have ever seen it!  A older, dumpy guy (as you describe), no matter how "nice" and "successful" with the kind of woman that can insure a good turn out at the BBQ - IN A MULTI-YEAR MARRIAGE?    You see these in Kiev, or Medellin ... with women that are border line hookers "pretending" in the marriage agency / online dating thing. But, in real life?   I must have lived a sheltered life:)

[GQBlues]

Is it worth *it*? What is *it* exactly? Please define *it*...

Normally in the MOB, *it* depicts a man who is well into his twilight years who's uncomfortable with himself and chooses not to be alone who's determined to fill that void regardless of cost and trouble.

*IT* can also describe someone's empty lifestyle having no other social alternative but to dream the type of lifestyle everyone else around him 'seem' to have.

*It* is someone who blames his life's deficiency and emptiness unto someone else and/or his society at large and vainly tries to replace it with delusions as his personal justification.

So from these POV, is *it* worth the trouble to import a wife from the FSU? Well, it isn't dependent upon the woman, it never was....it's always been dependent upon *it*.

[TheTraveler]

I do think the effort that it requires to complete the process, the trips, dealing with the governement to get her visa, the effort it takes to get her here and all the things you go through for helping her adapt builds a bond that you don't get in a relationship with an AW.  It's is something you go through together that makes you partners.  It is a little like when I built a house myself, long ago in my first marriage,  I did almost everything myself from laying the block, framing it, the roof, the drywall, etc.  I felt a lot more bond to that house than I would have had I just bought a house.  I think you feel more of a bond because of the work you go through.

you described one of the most wonderful aspects of our relationship (that can be unique to successful am/rw relationships), too!

i would add the first couple years of marriage to that 'build', too.  helping my wife to learn english, to drive, and to assimilate in general.  being business owners, we were able to spend almost every hour together.  helping my wife thru what had to be a difficult challenge helped to forge a special bond and foundation that we have built upon ever since.

thanks, turbo, for the great post!

[roykirk]

Crowded BBQ's with gawking men LOL

But, I am sorry, I just don't get it - hell, I don't think I have ever seen it!  A older, dumpy guy (as you describe), no matter how "nice" and "successful" with the kind of woman that can insure a good turn out at the BBQ - IN A MULTI-YEAR MARRIAGE?    You see these in Kiev, or Medellin ... with women that are border line hookers "pretending" in the marriage agency / online dating thing. But, in real life?   I must have lived a sheltered life:)

I agree, it's bizarre.  She's almost a 6 foot tall blonde and he's about 5' 8".  They also have a kid together, which I think has kept them together for the multi-year.  He dotes on her constantly and I get the sense he might have been sort of handsome when he was younger.  Couple that with an old boyfriend that she's said knocked her around back home, and I suppose it's not entirely unbelievable.  But still, the mismatch seems to be catching up.

[ML]

  But still, the mismatch seems to be catching up.

But aren't these matches 'made in heaven' supposed to be based on  more than just physical looks? 

How shallow can the woman be . . . if she is thinking about the man's physical appearance?

He 'dotes on her constantly.'  Isn't that enough?
That and a vibrator should be enough for any woman.

[Faux Pas]

I agree, it's bizarre.  She's almost a 6 foot tall blonde and he's about 5' 8".  They also have a kid together, which I think has kept them together for the multi-year.  He dotes on her constantly and I get the sense he might have been sort of handsome when he was younger.  Couple that with an old boyfriend that she's said knocked her around back home, and I suppose it's not entirely unbelievable.  But still, the mismatch seems to be catching up.

Quite likely, the older you get the more of these marriages you'll run across. I've known a number of them, all American couples and mismatches from both perspectives of the man and woman. Some have even stood the test of time, others didn't. However, it doesn't sound like this one you mentioned will make it as vocal as she apparently is about it.

One never knows completely from the outside looking in what draws two people together or what makes them stay together. Sure, there are the obvious outward appearances but often they are deceiving. The comfort of beauty or money is generally just the surface.

[I/O]

Are there any happy stories?

Lotsa people tell 'happy stories' - whether or not they're true is another question. 

[Faux Pas]

Lotsa people tell 'happy stories' - whether or not they're true is another question. 

And, most of the train wrecks are from only one POV 

[Turboguy]

Lotsa people tell 'happy stories' - whether or not they're true is another question. 

Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, happiness is in the mind of the beholder.  Of course there may be a few who don't want to admit they made a mistake.  There are probably a few blind fools who incorrectly think their mate is the happiest person in the world while miserable.

And, most of the train wrecks are from only one POV 

I am not a big believer in "There are two sides to every story and the truth lies somewhere in between."  I tend to think in most train wrecks the one who splits has a POV that is pretty accurate and the one who is dumped has a POV that is pure fantasy.   In cases where a marriage just disintegrates then the truth may lie in between but there usually isn't much of a story or much truth except they grew apart.

[jb]

Why do I get the impression you are Chinese?

I've been with my Russian wife for over 11 years and we are pretty happy,,,on average,,,several days a week,,, most months,,, sometimes twice a week.

[Shadow]

We have this weekend celebrated out 4 year wedding anniversary, and will be together for 7 years at the end of August (liberal Dutch laws ).
Is it worth it? I do not have any comparison material, and do not have reason to find it.

[Gator]

 we are pretty happy,,,on average,,,several days a week,,, most months,,, sometimes twice a week.