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Author Topic: Am I in over my head  (Read 16371 times)

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Online Faux Pas

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #25 on: August 09, 2012, 06:51:19 PM »
Im inclined to say look for a girl first and then if you find someome you like figure out the money later, but I'm a little crazy

A fair amount of luck can offset a great deal of expense true but, everybody isn't lucky in love. In fact the stats tell us only less than half of us are. Even for many of those that are in the East/West game it usually still requires much expense. IIRC remeil, you hit a grandslam your first time at bat. While you might have had a hand in making that happen, keep in mind there are a lot of people who strike out and hit bunt singles in the same time span you were rounding the bases  ;D

Offline remiel6

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #26 on: August 09, 2012, 07:00:44 PM »
I would agree with that, but in life in general I have struck out a lot and hit a lot of two out singles only to get caught stealing second. So at least at something in life I hit a grandslam on my first at bat. I am very lucky, very lucky indeed. Still without a willingness to look like a total fool I would not have been lucky at all.
 

Offline I/O

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #27 on: August 09, 2012, 07:33:19 PM »
Guys, how did you come up with $20,000 or $50,000?
Ya see Doll, you're not as cheap as you thought you were............. :P

Offline GunayH

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #28 on: August 09, 2012, 08:46:04 PM »
Good luck for you.
« Last Edit: August 09, 2012, 09:02:05 PM by GunayH »

Offline remiel6

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #29 on: August 09, 2012, 08:53:08 PM »
I think on this site this is a loaded question  :deadhorse: :cluebat: :popcorn:

Offline Brianinaz

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #30 on: August 09, 2012, 08:54:10 PM »
Yea, it can be done for 10k and someone wins the lottery every week. Realistically 50k over several years is a reasonable median figure. A flight there and back from Texas is going to to cost you $1500-$2000. You can figure $80-$100 a day for lodging and expenses at a minimum. If you're a lottery winner and you find her on the first or second trip well you can do the math. Then there's the expense of finding her. How much that runs depends on how you go about it. There are people who have dropped 20-30k on pay per letter/encounter sites and agencies and come up empty. Unless you stick with English speaking women (which I think is a mistake but others differ on that)  in there are interpreter fees to go along. Now having said that it's not like you have to go up to the counter and plop down 50k. I don't know what the average would be between first trip and meeting "the one" but I'll guess at 2-3 yrs. So you're spreading it out over time. Another thing to factor in is how much are you spending chasing women here. Are you subscribing to a dating service? Are you taking women out to dinner at a hundred dollars a pop? How much is happiness worth to you? What I would leave you with is a suggestion. Have someone help you with some accommodations, make a few contacts (translator, transportation) in your city of choice and take a vacation, check it out. Don't go on a crusade, check out the architecture enjoy some really good food, experience the culture, see what you think.
 Brian
« Last Edit: August 09, 2012, 08:57:24 PM by Brianinaz »

Offline GunayH

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #31 on: August 09, 2012, 09:01:02 PM »
I think on this site this is a loaded question  :deadhorse: :cluebat: :popcorn:

Yes, my friend laughed too.

Sorry.

Online Faux Pas

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #32 on: August 09, 2012, 09:23:07 PM »
I would agree with that, but in life in general I have struck out a lot and hit a lot of two out singles only to get caught stealing second. So at least at something in life I hit a grandslam on my first at bat. I am very lucky, very lucky indeed. Still without a willingness to look like a total fool I would not have been lucky at all.

LOL, you came through in the clutch. That was good fortune. I needn't remind you that you easily could have struck out on strike three and again gotten thrown out running to first on a dropped ball. You didn't. You remeil, are a man of good fortune. It should be noted many, and I do mean MANY in this pursuit are not  :D

Offline I/O

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #33 on: August 10, 2012, 12:21:57 AM »
Dan: Have you considered central America?

Offline sund

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #34 on: August 10, 2012, 12:54:16 AM »
Hello Dan,

Sorry for your loss.  I wish you well for your future.

You did the right thing by stopping by here and asking your question.  Anyone on this site married to an FSU woman will tell you how happy they are.  The Eastern European woman is a culture undefined by no other, except for perhaps a Latina. 

If you want to learn more about their culture, personalities, and concepts and you are serious about finding your wife from outside of America, I recommend that you look up eduard on this site.  I have read his many posts and I have looked at his website.  He seems like he would be able to coach you through your journey.  My second recommendation is to visit Europeandreamconnections.com   They have a weekly Thurs night webinar and you can ask all the questions you would like interactively and there are lots of educational videos.

I have never been on a tour, but if it was me and I was new like you, I would take a trip with the most honest folks out there and my radar tells me that eduard and europeandreamconnections will take you in the direction you desire.  Good luck brother.

Sun

Offline Spoon

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #35 on: August 10, 2012, 01:25:22 AM »
Yea, it can be done for 10k and someone wins the lottery every week. Realistically 50k over several years is a reasonable median figure. A flight there and back from Texas is going to to cost you $1500-$2000. You can figure $80-$100 a day for lodging and expenses at a minimum. If you're a lottery winner and you find her on the first or second trip well you can do the math. Then there's the expense of finding her. How much that runs depends on how you go about it. There are people who have dropped 20-30k on pay per letter/encounter sites and agencies and come up empty. Unless you stick with English speaking women (which I think is a mistake but others differ on that)  in there are interpreter fees to go along. Now having said that it's not like you have to go up to the counter and plop down 50k. I don't know what the average would be between first trip and meeting "the one" but I'll guess at 2-3 yrs. So you're spreading it out over time. Another thing to factor in is how much are you spending chasing women here. Are you subscribing to a dating service? Are you taking women out to dinner at a hundred dollars a pop? How much is happiness worth to you? What I would leave you with is a suggestion. Have someone help you with some accommodations, make a few contacts (translator, transportation) in your city of choice and take a vacation, check it out. Don't go on a crusade, check out the architecture enjoy some really good food, experience the culture, see what you think.
 Brian

Pretty much agree with your post Brian, but am interested as to why you think it's a mistake to choose English speakers? Let's face it, they are not really 'English speakers' they will be 'bi-lingual' There are a lot of reasonably good english speakers in the FSU pool of women and with 'good communication' being up there as one of the keys to a successful relationship - why make it harder than it already is?
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Offline Doll

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #36 on: August 10, 2012, 03:01:39 AM »
No English, blind and deaf :D

Offline GunayH

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #37 on: August 10, 2012, 03:23:37 AM »
If a woman is serious how could she be comfortable that no English would be okay? Who knows
the other?

I speak English regular but still thinking my friend would not understand me and that I not understand him. We laugh about jokes and translation. How a translator might be with us to do that all time?

Offline Shadow

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #38 on: August 10, 2012, 03:32:38 AM »
Dan,

On one hand the amounts mentioned can be lowered, even if a trip from the USA is much more expensive as one from Europe where I live.
On the other hand, it would take you determination, some experience in travel and some luck in choosing correctly.
While you have promised to move on fast, do not make haste as that would be a bad advisor. Do not exclude anything and just search wherever interesting contacts lead you.

No it is not a dog. Its really how I look.  ;)

Offline Brianinaz

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #39 on: August 10, 2012, 07:29:45 AM »
Pretty much agree with your post Brian, but am interested as to why you think it's a mistake to choose English speakers? Let's face it, they are not really 'English speakers' they will be 'bi-lingual' There are a lot of reasonably good english speakers in the FSU pool of women and with 'good communication' being up there as one of the keys to a successful relationship - why make it harder than it already is?
Hi Spoon, I didn't say it's a mistake to choose English speakers. I said I think (IMHO) it's a mistake to just stick with English speakers ie exclude all women who don't speak English. To me "English speaking" means you can easily converse without the need for assistance. Personaly I didn't meet that many women that were truly fluent (then again I wasn't looking for just fluent English speakers).  You just exclude an enormous number of people. I just never found it to be a huge stumbling block. Like many things here, people advocate for what worked for them. Depending on how you look at it there may be a bit of an advantage to a non-English speaker. I spent numerous hours in apartments sitting next to a lady in front of a laptop using an online translation program to suplement limited English skills. It was very interactive. Much better than sitting on the couch watching a movie or something. If the relationship goes anywhere I think it actually improves the communication between the two of you because you have to really focus on communicating and making sure the other person understands you. That carries over into your relationship later. If language skills were exclusionary I would have never met my wife. In the first communication we had (I was already in the country) she sent me an SMS in Russian saying "I will meet you if you speak Russian". Well at the time I had about a 50-100 word Russian vocabulary so I replied (through a translator of coarse) I speak some Russian (didn't lie) and as they say the rest is history.

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #40 on: August 10, 2012, 07:50:49 AM »
Hi Spoon, I didn't say it's a mistake to choose English speakers. I said I think (IMHO) it's a mistake to just stick with English speakers ie exclude all women who don't speak English. To me "English speaking" means you can easily converse without the need for assistance. Personaly I didn't meet that many women that were truly fluent (then again I wasn't looking for just fluent English speakers).  You just exclude an enormous number of people. I just never found it to be a huge stumbling block. Like many things here, people advocate for what worked for them. Depending on how you look at it there may be a bit of an advantage to a non-English speaker. I spent numerous hours in apartments sitting next to a lady in front of a laptop using an online translation program to suplement limited English skills. It was very interactive. Much better than sitting on the couch watching a movie or something. If the relationship goes anywhere I think it actually improves the communication between the two of you because you have to really focus on communicating and making sure the other person understands you. That carries over into your relationship later. If language skills were exclusionary I would have never met my wife. In the first communication we had (I was already in the country) she sent me an SMS in Russian saying "I will meet you if you speak Russian". Well at the time I had about a 50-100 word Russian vocabulary so I replied (through a translator of coarse) I speak some Russian (didn't lie) and as they say the rest is history.
I agree with this. You may find a woman who speaks English but have nothing in common with her, no chemistry, no mental connection. There is only a very tiny percentage of women who are truly fluent. The rest, who say they speak English generally have very limited skills and you can get into a lot more trouble by thinking that you understand each other when in fact you completely misunderstand.  In my experience it's a mistake to limit your pool of eligible women to such a small number of possibilities.
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Offline Spoon

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #41 on: August 10, 2012, 08:08:06 AM »
Hi Spoon, I didn't say it's a mistake to choose English speakers. I said I think (IMHO) it's a mistake to just stick with English speakers ie exclude all women who don't speak English. To me "English speaking" means you can easily converse without the need for assistance. Personaly I didn't meet that many women that were truly fluent (then again I wasn't looking for just fluent English speakers).  You just exclude an enormous number of people. I just never found it to be a huge stumbling block. Like many things here, people advocate for what worked for them. Depending on how you look at it there may be a bit of an advantage to a non-English speaker. I spent numerous hours in apartments sitting next to a lady in front of a laptop using an online translation program to suplement limited English skills. It was very interactive. Much better than sitting on the couch watching a movie or something. If the relationship goes anywhere I think it actually improves the communication between the two of you because you have to really focus on communicating and making sure the other person understands you. That carries over into your relationship later. If language skills were exclusionary I would have never met my wife. In the first communication we had (I was already in the country) she sent me an SMS in Russian saying "I will meet you if you speak Russian". Well at the time I had about a 50-100 word Russian vocabulary so I replied (through a translator of coarse) I speak some Russian (didn't lie) and as they say the rest is history.

Thanks for your reply Brian :) The reason I asked is that I met and married a truly fluent english speaker (by chance, not pre-meditated) and it certainly made for easy communication and of course having my personal translator on holidays etc was an added bonus. I agree, you will be narrowing your chances by making it one of your pre-requisites, and I do think a lot of FSU women overestimate their english skills in their profiles.

My one regret is that as we now communicate solely in English, I have virtually given up any hope of learning the Russian language :(
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Offline Manny

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #42 on: August 10, 2012, 08:19:18 AM »
The thing about money, is this isn't always a one shot deal.

You might visit a woman a few times and then either of you may decide that the relationship isn't going to move forward. That means you starting over. What price is two or three false starts? Say $10k each if you are frugal?

Many guys use agencies or pay sites of some kind. Not everyone uses ML's fabled sites. Its easy to dump a couple of thousand dollars with an agency.

Some guys go on tours like Jacks. I am not up to date with Jacks prices, but they must cost a few thousand. Some people use blokes like Ed. Topics suggest a guy can spend $10k+ easily with Ed.

With each woman, there are likely to be translation fees, three way calls, language lessons and all kinds of stuff soon adds up. Then all the sneaky stuff, notaries, apostilles, government fees,  etc.

What price a wedding? Everyone differs.

Back home she needs a car, a drivers licence, if you are American probably a new set of teeth  ;D  and what if she has a kid? More expenses.

Really, this isn't an endeavour for the impecunious, although I admit that *some* men have done it very cheaply.

Offline Gator

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #43 on: August 10, 2012, 09:54:06 AM »

The thing about money, is this isn't always a one shot deal.

For sure!   Most of the expense occurs after she arrives.   FSUW are more expensive than AW to date (including travel costs) and to marry (in most cases, but some FSUW have done well as income producers).   If money will be tight, my recommendation is not to pursue this venture.
 

Quote
Some guys go on tours like Jacks. I am not up to date with Jacks prices, but they must cost a few thousand. Some people use blokes like Ed. Topics suggest a guy can spend $10k+ easily with Ed.


Perhaps a caveat is appropriate considering that you have no direct experience with tours or blokes.  Neither do I.   Each man must decide how best to find the ideal woman.  Hopefully cost is not an issue.
 

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #44 on: August 10, 2012, 10:36:42 AM »
Gator, I kept my comments neutral; I simply mentioned those two avenues as alternatives men may choose to use which also cost money.

I purposely made no comment about the effectiveness or otherwise of either option.

The individual chooses the pathway that works for him. Point being, they all cost money!

Online Faux Pas

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #45 on: August 10, 2012, 10:58:07 AM »
Gator, I kept my comments neutral; I simply mentioned those two avenues as alternatives men may choose to use which also cost money.

I purposely made no comment about the effectiveness or otherwise of either option.

The individual chooses the pathway that works for him. Point being, they all cost money!

And that was an excellent point to the discussion

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #46 on: August 10, 2012, 01:54:06 PM »
Some people use blokes like Ed. Topics suggest a guy can spend $10k  easily with Ed.

I should point out that a guy can also spend as little as $45 dollars using my services. It depends on how much time I have to spend working for him.
I recently had a guy contact me from Chicago and I was able to help him find a Russian woman (whom he is now dating) right in the city of Chicago. The cost for my time? Under $500.
So to say that  "a guy can spend $10k+ easily with Ed" which insinuates that "Ed will cost any guy $10K+ " doesn't reflect the reality and is misleading.


PS.
I'm only posting the above to clarify the misleading information about my services posted by another commercial member. I was under the impression that commercial members were not allowed to talk about each other or about each other's business. Has this rule changed?


« Last Edit: August 10, 2012, 01:59:47 PM by Eduard »
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Offline Manny

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #47 on: August 10, 2012, 02:09:02 PM »
Ed, maybe you'll go make a fresh topic and show us the married photos of the guys who paid you $45 to get there (I can link you to one who paid you over $10k if you forgot). Until then, quit griping and being a victim and stick to the topic in hand eh? My comments were purposely neutral; read them that way.

I am sure we agree that this process costs many thousands of dollars. It matters not so much for these purposes where that money actually goes. Point being, it will need to be spent whether it being by ferrying you across the FSU on a jolly, or on visas and dentists.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2012, 02:12:55 PM by Manny »

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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #48 on: August 10, 2012, 02:39:50 PM »
I came back from Russia a few days ago. I could not believe my own eyes seeing that all my single girl-friends are now dating guys 5-7 years younger than themselves. In my circle of friends, two marriages  have occurred during last year; both marriages involve younger guys (4-5 years younger). Nobody in my circle dates or marries guys their own age or older. Seven years ago situation was to the contrary. Dating younger guys seems to be a new trend among good looking women in their 30+.    So, I am not sure how realistic it is now for 56 y.o men to find a good looking 35 y.o woman who, in addition, would be craving for a simple life.
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Re: Am I in over my head
« Reply #49 on: August 10, 2012, 02:47:07 PM »
I came back from Russia a few days ago. I could not believe my own eyes seeing that all my single girl-friends are now dating guys 5-7 years younger than themselves. In my circle of friends, two marriages  have occurred during last year; both marriages involve younger guys (4-5 years younger). Nobody in my circle dates or marries guys their own age or older. Seven years ago situation was to the contrary. Dating younger guys seems to be a new trend among good looking women in their 30+.    So, I am not sure how realistic it is now for 56 y.o men to find a good looking 35 y.o woman who, in addition, would be craving for a simple life.

Grass is always greener... Glad to see it go both ways now..

 

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