Should I bother?

[noelscot]

That's basically how it was, except turn e-mails into 6-10 paragraphs long of your life story. Talked on skype, talked on phone (yes, I had her number.) I felt confident and trusted enough to meet her and we discussed it and made plans, set dates, etc. (weeks ago FYI before you naysayers try to spin it).

Then suddenly *poof*, disappearing act. Completely out of character. Kind of like dating flaky people, but flaky people don't correspond daily / weekly (remember, big emails) for 2 months straight. No, it wasn't a Kenyan copying and pasting messages  -- stop it.

Not a problem with me so I've moved on, deleted skype/contacts, etc. blah blah blah. Just looking for another website now to start the game up again.

Sorry, man. There are a lot of roads leading to nowhere in life. There are lots of good links in ML's post in the "starting out" section.


www.luckylovers.net
www.freepersonals.ru
vkontakte
mamba.ru


those are just a few that come to mind for contacting women. i would use all free sites, though. because you'll be bleeding money, as you know, on all this stuff. and that's just the beginning.


my personal choice is to go the expat route and teach English abroad, because i think time is not on your side in a "trip scenario," but to each his own.


for fun, you might look at Winston Wu's www.happierabroad.com


people here might bust your chops. they did mine, and still do quite often, but most mean well, and have some great information and tips to offer. so hope you have fun traveling and whatnot.

[GoodOlBoy]

Comeandsee, take a look here:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

Good Luck!

 
GOB

[GoodOlBoy]

I know it sounds stupid, but I am testing her now.

Don't waste your time.

Move on!

GOB

[Muzh]

Phones don't work in this village either?

Manny, my wife spent a four days at her friends dacha. No communications, period.

You guys are jumping into conclusions too fast. Best way to destroy a budding relationship.

Comeandsee, you are making the mistake of taking what is said here as the law. Keep in mind most of these guys will not deal with the situation after everything is said and done. IOW, they have nothing to lose.

[Muzh]

These emails were like 6-10 paragraphs. I forgot to add. She speaks fluent English.

I mean, if she's a player than what would she be gaining? I mean, I've been off that website for 2 months. No revenue for them. Not a dollar to her.

Also, she had VK, Facebook, etc. the whole works. Tons of photos. Trust me, I'm not naive.

Me messaging her friend was either dumb luck or something sinister like you said because I recognized her after in group photos.

Also, keep in mind the basic rule of scammers. If no money flows to her in a really short time, SHE will dump you.

[Muzh]

Then suddenly *poof*, disappearing act. Completely out of character. Kind of like dating flaky people, but flaky people don't correspond daily / weekly (remember, big emails) for 2 months straight. No, it wasn't a Kenyan copying and pasting messages  -- stop it.

Not a problem with me so I've moved on, deleted skype/contacts, etc. blah blah blah. Just looking for another website now to start the game up again.

A simple question before I waste any more of my time. Are you always this insecure?

The majority, if not all the FSU women seriously looking for a mate will only do so with a real man.

This bullshevism about insecurities is a killer for all of them.

What is it going to be?

Between you and me, there are NO scammers. Just crybabies.

[Jumper]

Muzh,
I'm actually generally on the side of things where-
yeah, she may very well *go to the village* ,or visit another man, or whatever,
and not contact a guy  for a week, so what ? big deal.
until you meet , there isn't anything anyway, so why not see where it goes.

What i posted earlier in the thread was sarcasm as i do think guys often get goofy about this stuff way way too early in many cases.

That said:
In this case there seems to have been regular email and phone contact, then *poof*
gone until he is speaking with her friend..lol
It isn't the absence itself that is causing concerns really ,
its the fact if she was speaking with him regularly, planning visits,
and disappears a week or two without mentioning it to  him prior.


That just speaks volumes about her actual level of interest.
Its not something someone very interested in a man would do.
He doesn't want to plan a visit around someone only mildly interested, most men don't.

When i was speaking with my wife i could have bailed over a million red flags,
i dint, so its not like i'm some kind of paranoid person.
But I dint go on a vacation , or off with work in some remote area,
without telling her that--  hey I will be gone for a week , because.....---
They dont need tyour life story, but it's just common  courtesy to someone you have interest in and are regularly communicating,or planning to meet.
Doesn't mean my wife  entirely believed me.? lol
but the fact you spoke about things prior is different than just *poof* and coming back later to try and explain your absence?.
I guarantee you my wife would have not believed a word I said had I pulled something similar.
she would have thought it rude and likely lost interest in  meeting.
At the beginning you are naturally building trust by your actions or in-actions, his romantic interest undermined what he may have had.

[Faux Pas]

Muzh

I'm more of the sort that if it looks like shit and smells like shit, it's probably shit. At the very least this ole gal is playing some games with comeandsee, at the most, setting him up for a vacation or some prodating. If a woman is interested, she doesn't disappear as Jumper pointed out, for a week at a time without something stirring amiss IMHO. Then contact immediately after he contacts her friend for interest. I'm all for giving a woman the benefit of the doubt when she's earned it. This woman wasn't earning it, her account is heavily in the deficit

[Muzh]

Guys, I used strong words. Mea Culpa.
 
However, we know very little of what she's doing except the Cliff Notes version being published here.
 
There are places in UA that will get no phone reception unless you have a landline, and that costs about your first born SON to have it installed.
 
What I don't like was the knee jerk reaction "Scammer, Scammer" by this guy. And now he is testing her instead of taking the high road and moving on. If he is done with her, fine. Move on. What's the purpose of asking for validation here.

[Shadow]

People from Kiev will usually spend some summer time in their (parents) dacha, which might not have land lines or internet connections.
However GSM coverage would probably be available. Can not be certain, but I know our MIL has her GSM working at the dacha near Moscow.

And never pick women from cities like Moscow or Kiev. They might get spoiled if those guys hunting in villages would give them attention.

[comeandsee]

Guys, I used strong words. Mea Culpa.
 
However, we know very little of what she's doing except the Cliff Notes version being published here.
 
There are places in UA that will get no phone reception unless you have a landline, and that costs about your first born SON to have it installed.

Well aware.
 

What I don't like was the knee jerk reaction "Scammer, Scammer" by this guy. And now he is testing her instead of taking the high road and moving on. If he is done with her, fine. Move on. What's the purpose of asking for validation here.

The first time she disappeared for a week -- without telling me -- I was about done with her and I went back on Ukrainedate and had a 1 out of a 1000% chance I happened to e-mailed her friend who took a screenshot and sent it to her. I mean, it was either a scam like you guys said or REALLY bad luck because I looked back at old group pictures and I saw them together. Man, talk about embarrassing and I was surprised I was able to talk myself out of it. LOL

So after a few days she sends me a message saying shes going to be gone 7-10 days again. I was like fine, okay. Well, 13 days later and no answering phone calls (called twice in 13 days) or e-mail replies that was my final draw. I haven't said anything to her about being through so she can resurface in 2 months for all I know.

[CDW]

That's basically how it was, except turn e-mails into 6-10 paragraphs long of your life story. Talked on skype, talked on phone (yes, I had her number.) I felt confident and trusted enough to meet her and we discussed it and made plans, set dates, etc. (weeks ago FYI before you naysayers try to spin it).

Then suddenly *poof*, disappearing act. Completely out of character. Kind of like dating flaky people, but flaky people don't correspond daily / weekly (remember, big emails) for 2 months straight. No, it wasn't a Kenyan copying and pasting messages  -- stop it.

Not a problem with me so I've moved on, deleted skype/contacts, etc. blah blah blah. Just looking for another website now to start the game up again.

check if she is the great granddaughter of Houdini 

[Muzh]

Well aware.
 
The first time she disappeared for a week -- without telling me -- I was about done with her and I went back on Ukrainedate and had a 1 out of a 1000% chance I happened to e-mailed her friend who took a screenshot and sent it to her. I mean, it was either a scam like you guys said or REALLY bad luck because I looked back at old group pictures and I saw them together. Man, talk about embarrassing and I was surprised I was able to talk myself out of it. LOL

So after a few days she sends me a message saying shes going to be gone 7-10 days again. I was like fine, okay. Well, 13 days later and no answering phone calls (called twice in 13 days) or e-mail replies that was my final draw. I haven't said anything to her about being through so she can resurface in 2 months for all I know.

Here's a hint for you.

These ladies like to be chased. You show your interest, period.

My know wife used to "disappear" and I would send her an email telling I was ticked off. Of course, she had a staff of 13 doctors and nurses to deal with too.

Eventually, she went to her sister looking for support and her sister replied to her, "What do you expect?" So she gave me the phone number at the hospital she worked and the days she would have her 36 hour rotation so I could call her during her wee hours in the morning to chat.

That was 13 years ago. She still makes me to wait.

[DKMM]

I tend to side more with Muzh on this one.  1st of all, you never met her so she isn't your Gf and you aren't her BF so both of you don't have any right to be angry.  Some Ukrainians do feel its their right to disappear for a while esp if you are still just a virtual friend.  They are not as considerate about timeliness as you expect a normal person to be.
I'm curious about your travel arrangements.  That's only a month away, do you have tickets and such?  She should be aware of your itinerary by now.  Did you tell her how much time you will spend with her?  Were you planning to meet more than just her or have some backups?  Using an agency?  etc. etc.
This isn't like any kind of dating you've ever had.  Different rules apply.

[Olly]

vkontakte and mamba.ru are not good way to look for.

[Misha]

vkontakte and mamba.ru are not good way to look for.

I agree with regards to vkontakte, but disagree when it comes to mamba. It served me well and I found my wife thanks to the mamba network 

[Shadow]

I agree with regards to vkontakte, but disagree when it comes to mamba. It served me well and I found my wife thanks to the mamba network 

Times change.

[Olly]

I agree with regards to vkontakte, but disagree when it comes to mamba. It served me well and I found my wife thanks to the mamba network 

Misha, sorry I don't know your history. Are you russian?

Times change.

Yes thats right.

[Misha]

Times change.

Some things remain the same. Boy wants to meet girl, girl looks for girl, girl decides yea or nay....

[Misha]

Misha, sorry I don't know your history. Are you russian?

No.

Yes thats right.

The thing with online dating, and this never changes, is that you need time, patience and have to put some effort into it. Does not matter if you are a man or a woman. If you expect to find the "One" in five minutes or not to have to do a lot of triage, then you will be disappointed. Such is life.

[Olly]

Misha, you found your wife 5-10 years ago. Now mamba in 90% is the place for men (who want to get sex for one night) and prostitutes in general. Sorry, but it is true.

[Muzh]

Can't even find a truffle?

[ML]

Misha, you found your wife 5-10 years ago. Now mamba in 90% is the place for men (who want to get sex for one night) and prostitutes in general. Sorry, but it is true.

I used Mamba a year ago.  Made initial contact with around 100 women. None gave any indication of prostitution.  Had ongoing messages with about 12 and met with 4.  Very good women.  If they were prostitutes, they certainly didn't know how to operate this business.

And, I didn't want sex for one night.  I require a three night minimum.

[Olly]

I used Mamba a year ago.  Made initial contact with around 100 women. None gave any indication of prostitution.  Had ongoing messages with about 12 and met with 4.  Very good women.  If they were prostitutes, they certainly didn't know how to operate this business.

Ok, maybe I exaggerate.

And, I didn't want sex for one night.  I require a three night minimum.

[Misha]

Misha, you found your wife 5-10 years ago. Now mamba in 90% is the place for men (who want to get sex for one night) and prostitutes in general. Sorry, but it is true.

People said the same thing when I was on Mamba 6.5 years ago    Again, plus ça change...