Should I bother?

[comeandsee]

Hello,

For the last two 1/2 months I've been exchanging emails + occasional video chat with a woman from Kiev whom I planned to meet at the end of September. We exchanged emails usually every 2-4 days and our conversations were deep and we shared a lot of common goals and views.

Early last month she didn't reply to my email for over a week. I thought it was odd and assumed she had lost interest so I went back into the dating website I used and started speaking to other people. Out of pure dumb luck I got an email from her the next day because she was upset I sent a message to her own friend. What are the odds of that? I actually recognized her from a group photo.

Well, after explaining why I did it (hello, no response in a week?) she started profusely apologizing and she just wanted to make sure I was only going to see her. She said she was at a village and didn't have access to internet so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I mean, all I said was a greetings to her.

Now, 13 days ago she told me she was going to the village again and would be gone 7-10 days and she wanted me to promise her I wouldn't talk to anyone on the website. Well, as you can tell, it's been almost 2 weeks and I honored my side.

Honestly, I'm kind of in a lose-lose situation. What do you advise I do?

[GoodOlBoy]

....a woman from Kiev.....

Welcome to RWD Comeandsee. 

There is a very good chance that this girl from Kiev is going on holidays with other men.

Can you tell us what site you met her on?

GOB

PS..... My wife has an old friend back in Russia that does this for a living. We call her "holiday whore".

Rick: "Where's the holiday whore going this month?"
Marina: "Pattaya Beach, Thailand".
 

[comeandsee]

Welcome to RWD Comeandsee. 

There is a very good chance that this girl from Kiev is going on holidays with other men.

Can you tell us what site you met her on?

GOB

That thought briefly came to mind. I mean, like they said. When there's silence, there's only silence.

ukrainedate.com

[Hammer2722]

Why is she even demanding that you not talk to other girls? You two haven't even met yet. Its not like you have a relationship yet.

[Faux Pas]

comeandsee

Quite frankly, it don't look good. I suspect you already know deep inside, don't you?

2-4 emails/skype a week isn't setting the woods on fire as far as a budding romance goes. With as little information as you've provided, I'd say this woman/agency is a player. Chances are quite remote that she can't get internet of some sort even in the village. You can bet your sweet bippy even in the village, she wouldn't be caught dead without a phone.

The one week absences and responding as soon as you sent a message to her "friend" (wink,wink) really indicates something sinister.

Not what you want to hear I'm sure and there isn't enough info to make a decent judgment call but, there is a lot wrong in the little bit you provided

[comeandsee]

Why is she even demanding that you not talk to other girls? You two haven't even met yet. Its not like you have a relationship yet.

I know it sounds stupid, but I am testing her now.

She disappeared, I went back on the site, she came back, got upset and told me she would be gone for a week. I was like fine, nobody replied to me anyway so if she comes back this time than maybe she's serious enough to meet.

I mean, like you said. We're not committed so why should I devote myself 100% to her?

[Manny]

Phones don't work in this village either?

[comeandsee]

2-4 emails/skype a week isn't setting the woods on fire as far as a budding romance goes. With as little information as you've provided, I'd say this woman/agency is a player.

These emails were like 6-10 paragraphs. I forgot to add. She speaks fluent English.

Chances are quite remote that she can't get internet of some sort even in the village. You can bet your sweet bippy even in the village, she wouldn't be caught dead without a phone.

The one week absences and responding as soon as you sent a message to her "friend" (wink,wink) really indicates something sinister.

Not what you want to hear I'm sure and there isn't enough info to make a decent judgment call but, there is a lot wrong in the little bit you provided

I mean, if she's a player than what would she be gaining? I mean, I've been off that website for 2 months. No revenue for them. Not a dollar to her.

Also, she had VK, Facebook, etc. the whole works. Tons of photos. Trust me, I'm not naive.

Me messaging her friend was either dumb luck or something sinister like you said because I recognized her after in group photos.

[GoodOlBoy]

Trust me, I'm not naive.

This will be decided by the "congregation" after your first TR (trip report) is posted here on RWD.

If you make one.

GOB

[comeandsee]

This will be decided by the "congregation" after your first TR (trip report) is posted here on RWD.

If you make one.

GOB

Already been there, done that.

The power of the internet.

[comeandsee]

Meh, not sure why I made a post. I already knew what I was doing

She's getting the axe bat. 

Thanks for replying guys. I'll let you know if I find anyone else.

[Hammer2722]

I met my fiance on the same site. Just be aware that there are lots of pro-daters and Nigerians/Ghanans on this site. Good luck.

[ML]

It is far too early in the game for you to be focusing in on one woman.

Read FSUW 101 in Starting Out section.

[Faux Pas]

These emails were like 6-10 paragraphs. I forgot to add. She speaks fluent English.

Yeah, like I said, not really setting the woods on fire. Have you Googled any part of those emails?

I mean, if she's a player than what would she be gaining?

That would be anybody's guess. But, in the 1-2 months you've been in contact with her she's taken two one week sabbaticals from you yet, she has a problem you are contacting other women. Something stinks to high heaven here. It would appear she is meeting other men. Nothing really wrong with that as the two of you have no relationship other than pen pals but, is that the way you wish to start out a new romance?

[missAmeno]

Few questions: Do you have her phone number? If No then Why? Never asked or she refused to give one? If Yes then How often you talk with her on phone/sms? Did she asked you not to call/sms while she is away?

Did I understood right that both of you removed profiles from dating site? If Yes then Whose idea it was: yours or hers? Even if it was her idea but you agreed to it, how can you blame her for asking not to chat with other girls?

[Doll]

comeandsee, why did you call her?

[TheTraveler]

go ahead and talk to other women, but next time pick girls from somewhere else besides kiev.
 
(...as for your promise or pledge or whatever it was... i wouldn't have made that.  but since you did, just lie to her about the other women.)
 
good luck!
 

[GoodOlBoy]

She said she was at a village and didn't have access to internet........ 13 days ago she told me she was going to the village again.....

Comeandsee, next time she says she is going to "granny's house" in the woods (village), make sure to tell her to give a shout out to the big bad wolf. 
 
GOB

[Doll]

go ahead and talk to other women, but next time pick girls from somewhere else besides kiev.
 
 

Why?

[Jumper]

Doll, because you can't lie to her about not seeing other women ,
if you keep looking in her home city..


come on! get with this program!!!


 

(and that's written in sarcasm font,  if you can't tell with your internet browser)






Ok ok, I'll be a bit serious..

 My guess is traveler suggested to avoid Kiev,
because of those uppity big city attitudes.. like Moscovitchka's  are known for?
heh!  you know how those Moscow women are  real pains!!

or perhaps
the perception  more foreigners are coming to Kyiv,  so the local women are both more likely to be jaded , or players ..

[comeandsee]

You guys have any recommended sites besides ukrainedate? Want to start fresh somewhere else.

[Faux Pas]

You guys have any recommended sites besides ukrainedate? Want to start fresh somewhere else.

There's a dozen or so recommendations coming your way probably. My advice is to try Elenamodels.com and pay the 100-200 bucks and go with the gold membership. It might sound like a lot of money but, it's really not comparably. Peruse and contact the ladies there. A gold membership is a lot of contact and will help you determine if this is something you really want to do. Good luck to you guy!

[noelscot]

Hello,

For the last two 1/2 months I've been exchanging emails + occasional video chat with a woman from Kiev whom I planned to meet at the end of September. We exchanged emails usually every 2-4 days and our conversations were deep and we shared a lot of common goals and views.

Early last month she didn't reply to my email for over a week. I thought it was odd and assumed she had lost interest so I went back into the dating website I used and started speaking to other people. Out of pure dumb luck I got an email from her the next day because she was upset I sent a message to her own friend. What are the odds of that? I actually recognized her from a group photo.

Well, after explaining why I did it (hello, no response in a week?) she started profusely apologizing and she just wanted to make sure I was only going to see her. She said she was at a village and didn't have access to internet so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I mean, all I said was a greetings to her.

Now, 13 days ago she told me she was going to the village again and would be gone 7-10 days and she wanted me to promise her I wouldn't talk to anyone on the website. Well, as you can tell, it's been almost 2 weeks and I honored my side.

Honestly, I'm kind of in a lose-lose situation. What do you advise I do?

My experience has been that foreign women who are serious about meeting, dating, and getting to know you will respond to your letters (at least daily) and pick up the phone when you call them. How things go in real life meeting are another matter entirely....
 
 

[Olly]

comeandsee, don't believe the words! Only acts tell the truth.

My experience has been that foreign women who are serious about meeting, dating, and getting to know you will respond to your letters (at least daily) and pick up the phone when you call them. How things go in real life meeting are another matter entirely....

Very true.

[comeandsee]

My experience has been that foreign women who are serious about meeting, dating, and getting to know you will respond to your letters (at least daily) and pick up the phone when you call them. How things go in real life meeting are another matter entirely....

That's basically how it was, except turn e-mails into 6-10 paragraphs long of your life story. Talked on skype, talked on phone (yes, I had her number.) I felt confident and trusted enough to meet her and we discussed it and made plans, set dates, etc. (weeks ago FYI before you naysayers try to spin it).

Then suddenly *poof*, disappearing act. Completely out of character. Kind of like dating flaky people, but flaky people don't correspond daily / weekly (remember, big emails) for 2 months straight. No, it wasn't a Kenyan copying and pasting messages  -- stop it.

Not a problem with me so I've moved on, deleted skype/contacts, etc. blah blah blah. Just looking for another website now to start the game up again.