Friendship ended with a Russian lady

[lakecreek]

I known this Russian woman for a while seem to have things going well between us. Things slightly slowed but not a huge issue. We were suppose to go out and eat and she was down with the idea, and me bringing a friend. I got caught up in a few things because I met a lady who I got interested in at a club and took her out for a couple of dates, soon found we no compatible so no going further. Some weeks ago I sent her a Facebook message explaining why plans changed and after I told her about the going on a date with this girl twice, I haven't heard a single world from her. All phone calls and text are being ignored and I'm wonder was there anything I did wrong or what I said?

Have you guys experience this from women that are from the FSU?

BTW this woman is from Russia but she living here in the US and attending school.

[Eduard]

were you just friends with her or were you romantically involved?

[Ranetka]

I known this Russian woman for a while seem to have things going well between us. Things slightly slowed but not a huge issue. We were suppose to go out and eat and she was down with the idea, and me bringing a friend. I got caught up in a few things because I met a lady who I got interested in at a club and took her out for a couple of dates, soon found we no compatible so no going further. Some weeks ago I sent her a Facebook message explaining why plans changed and after I told her about the going on a date with this girl twice, I haven't heard a single world from her. All phone calls and text are being ignored and I'm wonder was there anything I did wrong or what I said?

Have you guys experience this from women that are from the FSU?

BTW this woman is from Russia but she living here in the US and attending school.

she had a romantic interest in you or saw a possibility of a romantic interest. By not having enough time for her because you found someone else for a couple of dates you showed her she is a second best for you. IMHO she did the right thing. She will invest time and emotion in you  and you then find someone else again? Obviously you do not like her enough.

[lakecreek]

I'm beginning to see that but she never told me she had any kind of romance for me. We were friends and I would like to keep the friendship but that does not look like its going to happen.

[Eduard]

I'm beginning to see that but she never told me she had any kind of romance for me. We were friends and I would like to keep the friendship but that does not look like its going to happen.

I agree with Ranetka, the girl probably was hoping for more than friendship and you hurt her by going out with another girl even if not on purpose.

[Ranetka]

I'm beginning to see that but she never told me she had any kind of romance for me. We were friends and I would like to keep the friendship but that does not look like its going to happen.

What happens when/if you fall for someone? Is she only going to be a friend when you're single?

[Jumper]

were you just friends with her or were you romantically involved?

doesnt seem to matter ?lol


what seems to matter is she thought there was reasonable chance of romance,
and doesnt want to be second string or what he settled for,,


In my experience few women,regardless nationality  would appreciate his explanation of why he dint take them to dinner..


pretty much any excuse,like my cat died,  would be recognized as exactly that,
but better than hearing you wanted to spend time with someone else,that dint work out, but now you want to see them.

[lakecreek]

pretty much any excuse,like my cat died,  would be recognized as exactly that,
but better than hearing you wanted to spend time with someone else,that dint work out, but now you want to see them.

In my mind I thought of us as a friendship so I would never thought this would happen. Regardless if worked or not, I wanted to retain our friendship. Right now she probably upset and if we do talk I guess she will have to tell me how she feel toward me. As for myself I was and still never good figuring out when a girl is interested in being more than friends.

[GoodOlBoy]

...... plans changed and after I told her about the going on a date with this girl twice, 

Ahhh, the old DMLO (Date Many Lose One) RW.
 
Your toast Lakecreek.
 
The same "ground rules" apply here in the GoodOl' USA as they do in the FSU when dating a RW.

Live and learn.
 
GOB

[Ranetka]

I'd suggest not asking her how she feels but rather say that you appreciate her friendship, would like to remain friends and will try to be a better friend in future meaning even  if you find someone you will still try to find time for her. If it's what you want.

[Jumper]

I'd suggest not asking her how she feels but rather say that you appreciate her friendship, would like to remain friends and will try to be a better friend in future meaning even  if you find someone you will still try to find time for her. If it's what you want.

exactly

[Ludmila]

Have you guys experience this from women that are from the FSU?"
lakecreek, if you're wondering whether you did anything wrong by dating another lady while (quoting you)  "I known this Russian woman for a while seem to have things going well between us" , you are from another planet for that RW ( as well as for any decent lady I know, including myself). You are free to do whatever you deem necessary and whatever you wish, but don't be surprised that the ladies, at least RW ( may be hispanics are different), will throw you under the bus without hesitation. And rightly so.
I hope you have learnt a lesson. Best to you.

[Gator]

Lakecreek,
 
 
No woman wants to hear about other women.  Russian women have a lot of pride, and you perhaps have wounded her pride.   If so, you screwed up really bad, and it probably can not be resurrected.
 
I am confused.  Did you not write months ago about your RW friend who is a lipstick lesbian?  Is this the same woman?  If so, perhaps she was not a lesbian but only experimenting.   That could be your opening to renew the relationship.  You could explain that you thought she was a lesbian.  Then add if she is not a lesbian your dreams come true because she has always been your dream woman.

[ML]

You could explain that you thought she was a lesbian.

Maybe this can be a new pick-up line to use.

e.g.  You see two girls in bar, Susan and Judy.  You use some other standard pick-up line on Susan and get a date.

Next week you are back  in bar and see Judy.  You start to chat her up but she shuts you down throwing the fact that you chose Susan over her last week.

You respond by saying:  I chose Susan because I thought you were a lesbian.  Now that it seems you are not . . . let's get it on.

I like this new avenue.   

Oh wait . . . maybe some women don't want to be taken for a lesbian.

[GunayH]

Sorry if I do not understand right.

Would woman friend in US let you "stand her up" for dinner to be with some other (maybe even other man friend) and you would not think she would believe you said she was not as important as other?

If she only friend she would still be mad. You are not as good a friend as she thinks so she disappointed, This is all about friends even not lovers.

Others maybe right that she waits for romance from you too.

[lakecreek]

Lakecreek,
 
 
No woman wants to hear about other women.  Russian women have a lot of pride, and you perhaps have wounded her pride.   If so, you screwed up really bad, and it probably can not be resurrected.
 
I am confused.  Did you not write months ago about your RW friend who is a lipstick lesbian?  Is this the same woman?  If so, perhaps she was not a lesbian but only experimenting.   That could be your opening to renew the relationship.  You could explain that you thought she was a lesbian.  Then add if she is not a lesbian your dreams come true because she has always been your dream woman.

Exactly I thought she was in a relationship with another woman because she said she had a girlfriend so I thought things would not turn out like this.  I can't but help thinking she could be a lesbian when she mention girlfriend. Not my fault she did not express her feelings in words.

[GunayH]

Exactly I thought she was in a relationship with another woman because she said she had a girlfriend so I thought things would not turn out like this.  I can't but help thinking she could be a lesbian when she mention girlfriend. Not my fault she did not express her feelings in words.

You should not be dating if you think saying girlfriend means woman might be lesbian.

[lakecreek]

Have you guys experience this from women that are from the FSU?"
lakecreek, if you're wondering whether you did anything wrong by dating another lady while (quoting you)  "I known this Russian woman for a while seem to have things going well between us" , you are from another planet for that RW ( as well as for any decent lady I know, including myself). You are free to do whatever you deem necessary and whatever you wish, but don't be surprised that the ladies, at least RW ( may be hispanics are different), will throw you under the bus without hesitation. And rightly so.
I hope you have learnt a lesson. Best to you.

I have learned it now. Be a mixed Asian descent and living in America this is the first Russian I met. However, she never mention any feelings for me. Maybe cancelling out for hanging in favor a date may have blown her off.

[GQBlues]

I known this Russian woman for a while seem to have things going well between us.

Define *well between us*....

You were occasionally going out to hang-out? Chat? Dine?...or rabidly fornicating every minute you're together, or intensely discussing names of your future children?

Bottom line is, if 'well' means you were platonic and lacking intimacy before - then nothing's change and her recent actions mean nothing more than a casual amnesia attitude. You're yesterday's chum.

If you're intimate before and it fizzled out - then nothing's change and her recent action means nothing more than the fact someone else is rabidly thumping her. You're yesterday's chum.

Regardless of any possible scenario - why are you even beating yourself wondering about the basic mysteries of life with *one* gal? There are billions of them out there and likely at least thousands and thousands within 10 miles of you.

Live to date, not date to live, I say...

[lakecreek]

There was no intimacy between us, it was just a ordinary friendship we had. I only saw as a friend because I never seen any connection we could have. However, I do value her as a friend.

[GQBlues]

There was no intimacy between us, it was just a ordinary friendship we had. I only saw as a friend because I never seen any connection we could have. However, I do value her as a friend.

Then worry no more. You're about as much friend (or not) to her now as you were then apparently...the only thing I can see here is your over-reaction is the one that's bizarre.

[I/O]

Clueless.

[newjason]

Define *well between us*....

You were occasionally going out to hang-out? Chat? Dine?...or rabidly fornicating every minute you're together, or intensely discussing names of your future children?

GQBlues   
Anyone who asks this kind and this many questions about women has not been involved in rabid fornication or Coitus of any sort.
Sex is not going to happen if a guy is afraid of girls.

It's like when you watch a dog run after a car..
you know  even If he did catch it,
he would have no clue what to do with it or to it.


lakecreek,  has no one explained to you what empathy is  and how it is beneficial to you?
put yourself in her shoes and imagine how you would feel in her position.
You can't switch friendships and relationships off and on at will when it suits  you.
You tried to upgrade and then changed your mind. 
Then you go back and explain how much of a rat you are and she blocks you.
If you are going to be playing the field, use some discretion and know when to keep your mouth shut.
You had desires to hook up with two girls, but you did not seal the deal with either one.
This is how girls do you if you do them wrong. even if you never did anything , you might as well have because it's the same intents far as she is concerned.
A friend is a truely wonderful person who you never let down, and you never cross the line with. Once the line is crossed,  you can never go back.

[GoodOlBoy]

..... I do value her as a friend.

Friends you say?
 
Maybe friends with "benefits". 
 
Either way, she is done with you Lakecreek.
 
If you ever want to get on a RW's sh!t list, just behave like a RM.
 
RM do this kind of crap to them all the time.
 
GOB

[Gator]

 
RM do this kind of crap to them all the time.
 

Beg to differ.  Although many RM do not behave as gentlemen, from what I have been told, RM are skillful at making a woman feel special, especially if he is trying to get her into bed.   You can be sure that RM who want to get laid do not to mention other RW. 
 
The Lakecreek story is a good contrast.  RM are perhaps banging concurrently multiple women yet are smart enough to never mention any of this to their current date.  While the RW may suspect such, she takes comfort in not hearing it.  OTOH, we have an AM who seemingly has never had sex with anyone, and when he mentions a casual date with another woman, the RW is offended. 
 
But who knows the true story here?!  Lakecreek  is not an average guy.