Russian society acceptance of RW who date AM

[GoodOlBoy]

There is a man in my building that forked out $5000. to a RM for his signature on some documents so the FSUW could bring their little girl here (Marina and I saw the documents).

The law has not been changed, last amendment happened in 2003. The application of law has been changed in 2007, when border guard service had issued the interpretation of that law. The permission from an ex-husband will be requested only if he has ventured to submit the special application about his refusal to let kids leave Russia.

Sorry for the  OP.
I just want to make sure that I fully understand this correctly.
The incident (pay off) that I am referring to happened IIRC in 2005 and it was in Russia.
 
Are you saying that a RW (in Russia) can take a child at anytime to anyplace she wants permanently, without the fathers permission?
 
He doesn't have to sign documents giving up his parental rights?
 
GOB
 
 

[Misha]

To answer the question, women leaving to marry husbands overseas in Russia is being portrayed as a dangerous move as she will surely put into the bondage of sex slavery as soon as she steps off the plane    Even before reaching that point, the man is most likely to be understood as a sex tourist and even if she moves overseas and is happily married, there will those who will invariably imply that she somehow betrayed her motherland   

[Muzh]

Jersey guy. If I were you, I'd call INTERPOL and give them her location right now.

[Belvis]

Sorry for the  OP.
I just want to make sure that I fully understand this correctly.
The incident (pay off) that I am referring to happened IIRC in 2005 and it was in Russia.
 
Are you saying that a RW (in Russia) can take a child at anytime to anyplace she wants permanently, without the fathers permission?
 
He doesn't have to sign documents giving up his parental rights?
 
GOB

A RW (in Russia) can take a child at anytime to anyplace she wants without the father permission as far as consulate will issue the visa for a child. No problem  appears at the russian border. However  a consulate can ask the father permission for  of child visa, certainly for permanent residence. So it depends on legislation of the country where RW wants to emigrate.

[Lily]

Thanks for the responses so far
Lily,
She is from a city that was closed to all foreigners until 1991....Saratov. She is a solid professional. She was a practicing physician and her and her ex owned a pharmacy. She is now medical representative for a major western pharmaceutical company. I think she still has some old attitudes. i finally convinced her that it is ok to send an SMS message in Russian and I can translate it on my phone. She likes to translate things to English first. Just in the middle of the day I sent her a message  "I'm having a busy day." She responded quickly in Russian, I also toil, Stakhanovets. I had to research what she meant. When we talked I said that is an old term. She said she still uses it at times.
She is 43. And I'm 57. Do you think a 43 yr old profesional may still have some reservations of making dating a AM public.

This is very individual. IMHO age has nothing to do with personality. Only she knows whether she has reservations in this respect or not.

[Maxx2]

If you get to Saratov check out their circus. The bears riding motorcycles and pedaling bikes is a sight to behold. The circus looks like this one from Ekaterinburg





Only instead of a concert set up the circus is full of acrobats, contortionists and animal acts of bears, dogs and elephants. How 8 bears riding motorcycles weaving in and out of each other and not crash is beyond me.

[Jersey Guy]

a few questions:

1. Does she pay her own way on these trips to Jamaica and to visit you? I mean,  does she buy her own visa, airfare, accommodation, ect.. or do you finance the entire escapade?

2. Does she have many other friends who she talks about?
example: oh , today i was out with Lyuda, we went to resturaunt ...
or
Today Tanya said something to me that made me laugh .. ect..

3. Does she ever call you out of the blue just to say hi, or just to talk?

4. Does she get upset with you if you push her for more information about specific things...
like... what were you doing ?  Where were you ?    Who is so and so?

5. How often does she travel away from her home?
 meaning, how often is she out of town vs how often she is at home?

6. Does anyone on her side know that she is dating you? Can you verify this for sure?

7. What level is the relationship now?  Just friends, travel companions, a lil something on the side,  bf-gf, committed relationship, ect..  ?

With more information , will come a more clear picture of what is going on, or at least a good possibility of what is going on..

Thanks for your input. I just read your 7 yr story. Very interesting.
I'll try to answer the questions as best as I can.
1. She only pays for her visa and train to Moscow. If she flies from Saratov to Moscow. I pay that also. I pay all expenses while on a trip.

2. Very rarely. The last time that I remember was back in February.

3. Almost never. Only time was from Moscow airport on her way to visit me to get my address to write on a document. She would have to pay significantly more than me. She uses her company phone for SMS sometimes.

4. If I ask she is usually very brief. If I ask anythng more she usually sounds annoyed and sometimes answer in tone that let me know she was not happy about asking.

5. Her job requires about 2 to 3 business trips a year. She usually takes the kids on a vacation in the summer.

6. I know that she told one friend about Jamaica. I think she told her Mom. Beyond that I'm not sure. She did mention that some of her friends told that she should sign up for a frequent flyer program recently. I don't know what she told them for them to recommend that.

7. We both made an agreement not see to see anybody else back in February. We agreed to remove our profiles from the site we met on and not make an effort to meet new people. When we are together the sex is great for both. We both gave glowing compliments.

From what I wrote, to me she sounds very cautious, and does not want to share too much about her personal life. Not sure why. I know she is a very busy lady. With two kids and a job that requires alot of time at home also to write reports on her own time.
I'm not too concerned, I actually just think it is a cultural thing ( I hope). All of her clients that she sells to are doctors and pharmacists.

[Doll]

Big RED FLAG guy!!
 
After all of these trips, have you ever met her family and friends?
 
GOB

Come on! Speaking the language that the people around don't understand is rude. Same as I'd  speak Russian in front of Americans.
If I absolutely need to talk- I try to get out of the building or walk away from Americans.
 

[Doll]

JG, it IS a cultural thing.

[Doll]

  . She said very quickly that he is outside and doesn't want him to hear her speaking English. I'm actually not sure what to think.

It is easy- her ex can stop her from taking kids out of the country.

[JayH]

    For the OP!!  I think all the angles are near enough covered here by someone. My view-- you need to go there before the relationship can progress further.You need to understand more of culture and way of life-- and particularly her life. i do not mean to push your way into sensitive areas of her life in a demanding bombastic way --just simply to see it first hand. Go there-- and accept that being discreet is a necessary part  of the deal.
     All of her behaviour can  be explainable and justified-- on the other hand it also leaves a lot of questions--I guess that is why you are asking here.I live in a big city-- and in any relationship I am and would be as discreet as she is and behave in much the same way-- for the simple reason of personal privacy and all the complications of life.When I finalise my decision on my future and a meeting with family,friends , colleagues -who ever-- then I MAY tell them in advance.When FSU lady behaves like that we try and read too much into it.I definitely would not want to parade someone that was not going to be part of my future life.The reasons are covered in other posts very well here-so I will not repeat.
       I think going there with an open mind-- will tell you a lot more.
     

[GoodOlBoy]

It is easy- her ex can stop her from taking kids out of the country.

 
So you disagree with this Doll?
 

A RW (in Russia) can take a child at anytime to anyplace she wants without the father permission as far as consulate will issue the visa for a child. No problem  appears at the russian border. However  a consulate can ask the father permission for  of child visa, certainly for permanent residence. So it depends on legislation of the country where RW wants to emigrate.

GOB
 
 

[Doll]

GOB, ex husbands can "put the kids on a stop- list" (this is how it sounds in Russian).
Mothers can take the kids out of the country without their father's permission unless he is aware of it and doesn't want it.
 

[GoodOlBoy]

  I think going there with an open mind-- will tell you a lot more.

I agree!
 
And for God's sake rent a hotel room in her city JG (unless she offers you her flat).
 
GOB

[Doll]

Guys, what is (in this case) "going there with open mind"?

[GoodOlBoy]

GOB, ex husbands can "put the kids on a stop- list" (this is how it sounds in Russian).
Mothers can take the kids out of the country without their father's permission unless he is aware of it and doesn't want it.

OK, but how would the authorities know he is aware of what is going on?
 
I was also wondering Doll, if let's just say a RW brings/kidnaps her child(ren) to the GoodOl' USA and the father decides to go down to the police station and say "my wife kidnapped my kid(s) and left the country"?
 
Wouldn't the woman be in big trouble if she tries to cross the border back into Russia with the child(ren) to visit Babushka (for example)?
 
Also, wouldn't it behoove Mom to have some paperwork with the father's signature on it to prevent all of this possible trouble in the future?
 
GOB

[GoodOlBoy]

Guys, what is (in this case) "going there with open mind"?

open-minded - ready to entertain new ideas; "an open-minded curiosity"; "open-minded impartiality"
 broad-minded - inclined to respect views and beliefs that differ from your own; "a judge who is broad-minded but even-handed"     

GOB

[Doll]

OK, but how would the authorities know he is aware of what is going on?

He can let the "Border Service " know he doesn't want his kids to leave the country (by filing his protest)

[Doll]

open-minded - ready to entertain new ideas; "an open-minded curiosity"; "open-minded impartiality"
 broad-minded - inclined to respect views and beliefs that differ from your own; "a judge who is broad-minded but even-handed"     GOB

I do know what it means in English. My question was about what exactly it means in the topic starter's case.

[Faux Pas]

From what I wrote, to me she sounds very cautious, and does not want to share too much about her personal life. Not sure why. I know she is a very busy lady. With two kids and a job that requires alot of time at home also to write reports on her own time.
I'm not too concerned, I actually just think it is a cultural thing ( I hope). All of her clients that she sells to are doctors and pharmacists.

It's not a "cultural" thing. It's quite different. It is an individual thing. She is keeping you in the dark and away from her family and friends. Is it for a nefarious reason? Who knows? Few women, especially RW  (culturally speaking) IMHO will treat a man that way that has the strong possibility of being her husband or the man she loves. Quite the opposite , she would be showing you off, that's a "woman" thing.

She may just be to busy. She may just be using you as a friend with benefits+ but, it's not a cultural difference. Her behavior would lead some to believe she has no long term plan with you. IMHO, she should not only not be evasive with your questions, she should be offering you that information and also want you to meet the people in her life. If you are happy with the relationship as it stands now, enjoy it as long as you wish. It doesn't appear it will progress (at this point) much beyond what you have now.

Of course I could be wrong and I hope that I am. If you like it, enjoy it. If you are looking for something long term, it doesn't appear that she is thinking the same, with you anyway.

Good Luck

[Doll]

OMG! 
Faux Pas, it is "Questions to Russian Ladies" thread.
I am afraid, by posting what you've just written you are actually misleading JG.
The woman is cautious because she has to! It has nothing to do with her "not thinking of JG seriously" at all! IMHO. I was in her shoes.

[GoodOlBoy]

When we are together the sex is great for both.

I can honestly tell you that NO member on this forum has ever complained about having bad sex with an FSUW. 
 
 
JG every woman is different.
 
I have to tell you that after reading what you have written and thinking about this since last night, I just have a bad vibe.
 
I sincerely hope I am wrong.
 
My wife "showed me off" when I arrived in Omsk to visit her.
 
It really was a very humbling experience for me. No joke.
 
I have heard others on this forum state categorically the same thing.
 
I am really baffled and a little taken aback about her secretive behavior with you.
 
I hope you find a solution to all of this and true happiness in your life.
 
GOB
 
 

[ML]

I can honestly tell you that NO member on this forum has ever complained about having bad sex with an FSUW. 

I have had bad sex with some FSUW.
In general, they are mostly not all that great initially.
Remember, before the arrival of Americans . . . there was no sex in SU.
But also, they mostly are willing participants and learners.

Strange, now that I think of it.
Before, there was no sex in SU, yet a lot of children being born.
Now, there is sex in FSU, yet the population is declining.
I need to re-read that Biology 101 textbook.

[Chicagoguy]

I have had bad sex with some FSUW.
In general, they are mostly not all that great initially.
Remember, before the arrival of Americans . . . there was no sex in SU.
But also, they mostly are willing participants and learners.

Strange, now that I think of it.
Before, there was no sex in SU, yet a lot of children being born.
Now, there is sex in FSU, yet the population is declining.
I need to re-read that Biology 101 textbook.

  I agree about the sex and also find it strange about children. Maybe the Russian women have an angle on this.

[Faux Pas]

OMG! 
Faux Pas, it is "Questions to Russian Ladies" thread.

Well please excuse the intrusion. I'm feeling a little in touch with my feminine side at the moment 

I am afraid, by posting what you've just written you are actually misleading JG.
The woman is cautious because she has to! It has nothing to do with her "not thinking of JG seriously" at all! IMHO.

A clear difference of opinions, you and I. After 3 trips together and she's even visited him (at his expense of course  ) seriously, how cautious, need she be at this time? Honestly, reading his story, my thoughts are she has something with a local man going on or maybe another foreigner that does visit her town. He needs to explore these possibilities. Perhaps she isn't even divorced. JG has virtually zero in the way of information about this lady's personal life. This makes no sense IMHO for two people considering a future together.

I was in her shoes.

Okay then, fess up.  How long did you avoid info on your personal life to your now hubby?