Russian society acceptance of RW who date AM

[Olly]

So in Russian a fly in the frying pan on the table would be SITTING there ?

Yes 

A boot with no bottom (sole?) must be quite uncomfortable to walk about in

You know what "bottom" I mean 

[SANDRO43]

Yes  You know what "bottom" I mean 

 

[Olly]

My GOD! Somebody tell SANDRO that with his ass something wrong! Why it yellow? SANDRO, are you ok? 

[ghost of moon goddess]

In English, the bird would be SITTING on the table only if squatting down...on its bottom ?

So in Russian a fly in the frying pan on the table would be SITTING there ?

it would be sitting unless it was a busy fly   

[Ranetka]

It will be easier as it both are Germanic languages, and will even share some words and expressions that are identical at least in sound, but once you get past the superficial, it still won't be easy. Do you really think that Russian would be any harder for an English-speaker to learn thatn Hungarian or Mandarin or Navajo or any other language that is not closely related to English? I would say no, though Russians do have this largely mistaken belief that Russian is the most difficult language, occasionally noting the exception of Mandarin 

Misha,


I never said Russian is harder to master for an English speaker than say, Mandarin or Navajo. I'd say any language not from Indo-European group (google it if you like) would be harder.
I am in total agreement with you so what are you arguing about?

[ML]

I am in total agreement with you so what are you arguing about?

But . . . we need to keep these threads going . . . so assume he meant something else.

[Ranetka]

But . . . we need to keep these threads going . . . so assume he meant something else.

Good idea. Any suggestions?

[ML]

Good idea. Any suggestions?

Well, maybe he was insinuating that Canadian men can learn any language easier than FSUW can learn any language.

And throw in something Freudian also.

Maybe suggest his post infers that he hates his mother.

[Muzh]

Boy, that was a very elegant segue to hijacking a topic.

[Anotherkiwi]

Normal programming will resume shortly.  We apologise to the viewers for this break in transmission, and trust that you have suffered no inconvenience as a result of missing your favourite cooking show...
 
Now, back to the original topic...

[Olly]

and trust that you have suffered no inconvenience as a result of missing your favourite cooking show...

[Misha]

I am in total agreement with you so what are you arguing about?

Two people in total agreement on a forum    Is that even possible 

[SANDRO43]

My GOD! Somebody tell SANDRO that with his ass something wrong! Why it yellow? SANDRO, are you ok? 

It's a borrowed STANDING bottom, not mine at all - I'm not LYING .

There once was a bottom all yellow,
Endowing an exhibitionist fellow.
He'd lower his pants,
To get rid of some ants,
And it would quiver like a spoonful of jello.

[Jersey Guy]

Hey everyone thanks for some of the nuisances of the Russian language. I do appreciate everyone's input on the topic and I have read them all and the information was assimilated.
I would like to respond to many posts individually, but that would take too much time. I haven't been watching the responses close enough to do that.

 Probably about the best I can say is that we are talking more serious now and her primary concern is the willingness of her ex to sign anything that would allow the kids to go anywhere for more than a short vacation. Almost all her "secretiveness" is that she does not want to alert any of the in-laws to what she is doing. When she is here next month we will just do some brainstorming and see what we can come up with.  At worst we will have a very good time and learn about each other. That we do well.

[ML]

  At worst we will have a very good time and learn about each other.

The most pleasant situation of all would be to have a very good time with each other . . . and learn nothing about each other.  Too much info can ruin a good dreamland romance.  Good food; good drink; good sex; good music; good talks about world affairs, art, philosophy, scientific discoveries, etc.  Avoid anything controversial . . . like about family and the future.  Leave that sort of stuff to her regular boyfriend or husband to talk with her about.  Be the male mistress . . . it is a more fun position.

[Jersey Guy]

Yes ML there are times that I feel like the male mistress. But, our talks are also about family. When she was here she met my son in Washington DC, my daughter in the Atlantic City area and my brother. She was here for my grand-daughter's birthday party and she even brought her a great gift from Saratov. A bear on a skateboard that went across the floor. It was cute. She brought some local Saratov caviar for us to have on our toast in the mornings that we were here at my place. She is very worried about if she would be able to get the father's permission to leave Russia to come to the US even for a visit. She had to get his signature even to take the kids to visit Sweden this summer. I don't think she thinks it is a good idea to make the fact that she is seriously seeing an American very public. At least not to where there may be an intent to relocate the kids. Like I said we are just starting to talk about what some of the problems would be and what is possible. I just seen an Immigration Lawyer last week to talk about some things. We are just starting to find out what is possible and real.

As a side note I decided to post a photo of us in New York in my avatar just for a few days. I would like anyone's opinion if they think we look like there may be too much of an age difference. There is 14 years between us.

[Chicagoguy]

You two look fine. Don't worry. 
15 years between us and past 3 year mark now. Never a problem.
She loves the grandchildren and her daughter has been here twice now to visit us. And my daughters are crazy happy about her being in my life.

[newjason]

Yes ML there are times that I feel like the male mistress. But, our talks are also about family. When she was here she met my son in Washington DC, my daughter in the Atlantic City area and my brother. She was here for my grand-daughter's birthday party and she even brought her a great gift from Saratov. A bear on a skateboard that went across the floor. It was cute. She brought some local Saratov caviar for us to have on our toast in the mornings that we were here at my place. She is very worried about if she would be able to get the father's permission to leave Russia to come to the US even for a visit. She had to get his signature even to take the kids to visit Sweden this summer. I don't think she thinks it is a good idea to make the fact that she is seriously seeing an American very public. At least not to where there may be an intent to relocate the kids. Like I said we are just starting to talk about what some of the problems would be and what is possible. I just seen an Immigration Lawyer last week to talk about some things. We are just starting to find out what is possible and real.

As a side note I decided to post a photo of us in New York in my avatar just for a few days. I would like anyone's opinion if they think we look like there may be too much of an age difference. There is 14 years between us.

JG
I did not get to see the photo   but Chi Guy seems to think everything is cool  and I trust his judgement.

Maybe ML is right in this situation.
How will you overcome the logistics of your proximity (lack of proximity). I am sure you are brainstorming endlessly about it.
It may come down to (and I hate to say this ) her ex having the final say in your relationship.
It doesn't seem very fair, but life rarely ever is.

I hope you never have to be kept apart, and I hope you can impress the ex with your abilities and demonstate to him that you can provide a stable, loving, and nurturing envionrment for your lady and the kids.
You know something...
love is a mysterious beautiful magical beast with no common sense and no way to be tamed.
Enjoy it.  Understand, that you are lucky to have it find you.
Sometimes it slips away from us just like it was never there, and Sometimes this seems cruel and unfair. But, sometimes it's not up to us to decide.
Real love is putting your wants and desires aside (even when you really really don't want to) so that children will be in the best possible situation and they are raised well.
Sometimes in a love relationship, there is nothing we can do but just let her be free and love them no matter what.
Always remember that.

Especially if the moments should turn dark for you.
 
Let's hope they never do, and that this is meant to be.

I am pulling for you JG 
Enjoy her visit, she is coming very soon yes?

[newjason]

This difficult Russian.

Look at the table. On the table a glass and a fork.
What do they do? The glass is STANDING, and the fork is LYING.
If we thrust a fork in a table-top, the fork will STAND.

I.e. there are vertical subjects are STANDING and the horizontal are LYING?

We add  a plate and a frying pan on a table .
They are seems as horizontal subjects, but  they are STANDING on a table .
Now we put a plate in a frying pan. The plate is LYING in the frying pan.
Perhaps, there are subjects ready to use?
No, the fork was ready, when it was LAID.

Now the cat jumps on a table.
The cat can STAND, SIT and LIE DOWN.
New option - SIT. The cat sits on a bottom.

Now the bird jumps on a table.
The bird is SITTING on a table, but SITTING on legs, instead of on a bottom. Though, it seems, should STAND. But stand it can't at all.
But if we kill a poor bird and will mummify it, the bird  will STAND on a table.

Can seem that SITTING – attribute of live subjects, but a boot on a foot is SITS too , though boot is not alive and has no bottom.
_____________________
I hope i translated correct 
and sorry if it offtopic

holy cow!
I bet dinner at your house is A kick in the pants!

(kick in the pants = a very good time)

 

[Jersey Guy]

Yes Jason we are both aware that we have some significant challenges ahead, and ML has a significant point that I am aware of. We have discussed  some alternate ideas that involve time in both countries and what it would take. We are still in the brainstorming phase without a real plan yet.

Yes she will be here in late October. All reservations are in place and tickets purchased. It should be a good trip with plenty of time to talk and brainstorm and still have a very good and interesting time. We will spend the first night at my place in the Philly area before we head to Las Vegas.  We have Elton John tickets for the first night in Vegas. Then its  9 days and nights in 4 National Parks. Zion, Bryce, Arches, and the Grand Canyon. We will have about 20 hrs of drive time and many nights in canyon lodges to talk and maybe come up with some desirable options. Then we will have 2 free days and nights that we reserved in the Vegas / Grand Canyon area to do something unplanned before we head back East.

I suggested we walk around Vegas one night and find a show to see the next night that we would both enjoy.  If anybody has any suggestions I would consider them. Remember, she is an ex-doctor from Saratov that gave up being a doctor to be medical representative for a major western pharmaceutical company and I'm an engineer. I sent her some youtube links to Cirque du Soleil and her response was "That's a circus"... she wasn't impressed she said we have a circus in Saratov. In New York we saw an Opera at the Met, Chicago, and Jersey Boys. She did not understand Jersey Boys, but she loved the Opera and enjoyed Chicago.  I may just convince her that she would enjoy "O".

Again, any suggestions would be appreciated.

[newjason]

Yes Jason we are both aware that we have some significant challenges ahead, and ML has a significant point that I am aware of. We have discussed  some alternate ideas that involve time in both countries and what it would take. We are still in the brainstorming phase without a real plan yet.

Yes she will be here in late October. All reservations are in place and tickets purchased. It should be a good trip with plenty of time to talk and brainstorm and still have a very good and interesting time. We will spend the first night at my place in the Philly area before we head to Las Vegas.  We have Elton John tickets for the first night in Vegas. Then its  9 days and nights in 4 National Parks. Zion, Bryce, Arches, and the Grand Canyon. We will have about 20 hrs of drive time and many nights in canyon lodges to talk and maybe come up with some desirable options. Then we will have 2 free days and nights that we reserved in the Vegas / Grand Canyon area to do something unplanned before we head back East.

I suggested we walk around Vegas one night and find a show to see the next night that we would both enjoy.  If anybody has any suggestions I would consider them. Remember, she is an ex-doctor from Saratov that gave up being a doctor to be medical representative for a major western pharmaceutical company and I'm an engineer. I sent her some youtube links to Cirque du Soleil and her response was "That's a circus"... she wasn't impressed she said we have a circus in Saratov. In New York we saw an Opera at the Met, Chicago, and Jersey Boys. She did not understand Jersey Boys, but she loved the Opera and enjoyed Chicago.  I may just convince her that she would enjoy "O".

Again, any suggestions would be appreciated.

LMAO

you gotta love that FSU charm 

I really doubt  that she would appreciate the same things as I do, but you never know, so ..

Not sure if they are still playing  now but...

Cirque Du Soleil  and Criss Angel -  This show kicked ass.  The illusions were surreal and of course the performers were some of the best in the world.
If you can get into a magic show - this is the one to see.
A treat  for the senses.  I am one who appreciates death defying and things like that , so I was in heaven.

Of course David Copperfeild is always a great performer and has some amazingly cool illusions, and mystery and drama.

BMG
they are playing in vegas now.  This is something you need to see and should be on everyones bucket list. You will laugh, you will cry, and  you will rock



If she doesn't like this
well   
good luck 

[newjason]

I was thinking how can she say Cirque du Soleil  is just a circus?

Comparing Cirque du Soleil  to a circus in Saratov,

Is like comparing a blow jog to sword swallowing.

[jone]

Jersey,

Couldn't watch the debates tonight.  Too much mishmash.  So I read most of this post.  Couldn't help but thinking that I am the only one who gets it.  Maybe I'm off base but I think the title of the post should be Children's Opinion and Acceptance of RW who date AM. 

If I were a mother living on the Volga, and I know many women who live in the Golden Ring, my first and foremost concern would be the opinion of my children.  Not my ex.  Not my former inlaws.  And breaking it to my children that I am considering a man from America would be very difficult.  It would dominate my thoughts.  I would do everything possible to minimize the impact of my ongoing relationship in their lives.  That might include resisting the desire to introduce you to them, or if you are introduced, to playing down the relationship.

How do you see this situation resolving itself?  That they are all going to move to the US?  Time to smell the petunias.  Those kids are at the age where uprooting them, in any fashion, would be the most difficult accomplishment in the best of circumstances.  And if it comes down to her relationship with you vs. the happiness of the kids, YOU LOSE!  I would be willing to bet that every time she chose not to speak English it was when the children were present.

Their father is an influence in their lives.  Unless he does or has done something to alienate them, they will NOT want to move to the US.  And all she has to do is declare her love for you to her children and they run straight into their father's arms, for protection, if nothing else.

So if this thing is to move forward, plan on spending lots of time in the Volga.  That will be your new home.  (Is it so bad?)  Why is the preconception that women must move to the West?  I can honestly say that I would be happy to live in an FSU country with the right woman.  Sure we would make trips here to the US, but by and large, we would live there. 

Learn Russian!  If she is really that important to you, then you better be able to speak Russian to her children. 

Now I tell you all, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, but the best age to bring a child to the US is when they are 10 and younger.  Don't you all know your own kids in high school?  Would they ever entertain moving to another city, much less another country?  New friends, new culture.  Talk about culture shock coupled with loneliness!

If you really love this woman it is time to put yourself in her children's shoes.  Because that is the only way that you come out ahead - with empathy for them.

Now I have known many Russian couples who have gone through multiple divorces.  The story is always the same.  They do whatever they can to minimize the impact on the children.  And for that reason they are still living in the same city that their children grew up in. 

Picture yourself totally in love with this woman.  Can you actually imagine her life with you if you have impacted her relationship with her children in any way?

I may be out of line in this post, but I think this is the line of thinking that most good mothers would take.  She has to balance her own wishes and desires over the need to mother and take care of her children in a crucial period in their lives.  You present an unknown.  That is a risk I am willing to bet she cannot accept.  While she may enjoy your company, your acceptance by her children represent a hurdle only you can overcome - and it may defy convention what you will need to do.

Good luck.

[newjason]

I posted the wrong video



this one is what I meant

[Vasilisa]

I have a couple of questions. How are Russian Women treated by Russian society if they date American men? Is it something that a Russian woman would try to keep secret?
I am dating a RW from the Volga region. She is divorced with 2 children. We have been to Jamaica on our first date in January '12 for 8 days. She has visited me in the Philadelphia area in April/May and we are planning a trip to the Grand Canyon in October.
The reason I ask is that we usually talk once a day almost everyday. Only 3 or 4 times a month we do not talk. There have been times when she said she could not talk because she did not want to be heard speaking English if she was not home. She especially does not want to talk if she is visiting family. I can understand she may not want other people to know her personal business. But, I was always wondering if it is something most RW women try to keep secret.

I am the same, I don't like publicity, personal conversations in any language in  front of other people and showing personal emotions in public. I also don't like talking on the phone for a long time, so if someone was dating me in Russia I would probably be one big red flag for many people here.

http://www.wikihow.com/Practice-Cell-Phone-Etiquette
"Do not talk about personal details in public. Personal is just that: personal. If callers want to talk about personal details, tell them that you will call them back later, move someplace where you can have a little privacy, or switch to text messaging.""

Stay away from others while talking on the phone. If possible, keep a 10-foot (3 meter) distance between you and anyone else whenever you talk on your phone. No exceptions. No one wants to hear what you're talking about, really. Don't talk on the phone in any enclosed spaces, even if you're more than 10 feet away from anyone. They can still hear you (because it's an enclosed space) and usually, they're forced to just sit there and listen"