Should you discuss your spouse on the Web?

[noelscot]

I am not married, but if I was, I would not discuss my personal life with my wife on the Web for various reasons. Mainly because it is an issue of privacy. It is not the business of others. Thoughts.

[GoodOlBoy]

I would not discuss my personal life ....... Thoughts.

How "personal" are we talking?!?!
 
There are guy's on RWD that talk about their personal lives and the use of dildos.
 
GOB

[Doll]

I don't discuss my personal life (or my husband) "on web". I would hate if my husband does it.
RWD members do it, but I know their Russian wives would not like it if they knew.
I don't consider these private stories "American openness"- it is something else.

[newjason]

I think when another person is involved, it's a no no. 
When you share experiences from the past, I see no harm in it.
As long as the names and places are changed to protect the guilty.

I recall a thread by an american boy where in he detailed WAY too much onfo  IMO.

There are a few other active threads that get pretty personal,  and those involved seem to catch a lot of  crap, but at the end of the day, they are the ones who have to decide what is ok to share and what it ok not to share.

There are lots of different people with lots of different points of view here. Of course some people will want to tell all, others won't.
I see nothing harmful about posting your past experiences.
I do see harm in posting your current experiences with another person with who you are actively involved without their knowledge or consent.

There are several couples who are active here and both are involved, I think that's really  cool.
The one's here who are married, I think their sharing experiences is vital to the discussions. If they choose to post personal details, I would imagine their spouse knows about their participation here and between them, they have a clear understanding about the ramifications of doing such.

I think there is a balance between wanting to share details, and TMI.
That's what facedbook and vk are for 

[newjason]

How "personal" are we talking?!?!
 
There are guy's on RWD that talk about their personal lives and the use of dildos.
 
GOB

lol.
I wonder how you could possibly know this GOB?  lolol   i am just playing with you. 

[Gator]

I am not married, but if I was, I would not discuss my personal life with my wife on the Web for various reasons. Mainly because it is an issue of privacy. It is not the business of others. Thoughts.

Not just your wife, but any woman you care about.   
 
Years ago we could discuss much more.   Men could characterize a dilemma, examining the pros and cons of both sides.   
 
I have learned firsthand that this is no longer the case.  There are a few people who seem highly critical of almost everything.    They will take minimal information and extrapolate it to something negative.  Or they will take an ambiguous statement and see only the negative.  It does no good to correct them with additional information.    So best to limit any personal situation to PMs
 
My wife and stepdaughter have seen one RWD discussion about them, and they asked that I never mention anything personal about them other than the simplest, polite comment.  Too bad, because I have some interesting new stories.  For example one indirectly involves Russian celebrities (tennis star, Russian oligarch, and political leader).   The story is secondhand and reveals nothing derogatory about these celebrities.  To the contrary, it was so respectfully polite as to be boring. 

[Faux Pas]

It's all about perspective I suppose. I don't share anything personal about my wife. It's not my place to do so IMHO. I will pick and choose what I reveal about me. I am a private person by nature and I don't share much more if any here, than I do in real life.

However, I do share experiences of mine and if my wife is included, I don't see that as her personal information. My experiences are mine. If it happens to be one I shared with her, it's still mine.

Noelscot, it is interesting to know that you hang out here looking for information but admitting not willing to share any. Did you mean it in that vein?

[noelscot]

It's all about perspective I suppose. I don't share anything personal about my wife. It's not my place to do so IMHO. I will pick and choose what I reveal about me. I am a private person by nature and I don't share much more if any here, than I do in real life.

However, I do share experiences of mine and if my wife is included, I don't see that as her personal information. My experiences are mine. If it happens to be one I shared with her, it's still mine.

Noelscot, it is interesting to know that you hang out here looking for information but admitting not willing to share any. Did you mean it in that vein?

It's not about reciprocity. I am generally a giving person. It is about privacy and precaution. At one point in time I felt comfortable talking about just about anything on here, but I have read about how some posters internet stalked other posters, for whatever reasons, and tried to ruin their lives. Such actions have a chilling effect upon posters' freedom to post, whether justified or unjustified. I've never been associated with any other forum where that occurred. It's sort of creepy.




 

[Ade]

Not just your wife, but any woman you care about.   
 
Years ago we could discuss much more.   Men could characterize a dilemma, examining the pros and cons of both sides.   
 
I have learned firsthand that this is no longer the case.  There are a few people who seem highly critical of almost everything.    They will take minimal information and extrapolate it to something negative.  Or they will take an ambiguous statement and see only the negative.  It does no good to correct them with additional information.    So best to limit any personal situation to PMs
 
My wife and stepdaughter have seen one RWD discussion about them, and they asked that I never mention anything personal about them other than the simplest, polite comment.  Too bad, because I have some interesting new stories.  For example one indirectly involves Russian celebrities (tennis star, Russian oligarch, and political leader).   The story is secondhand and reveals nothing derogatory about these celebrities.  To the contrary, it was so respectfully polite as to be boring.

You know, sometimes, no matter how much more information is revealed about something, the original conclusions remain unchanged because a fact is what it is no matter how much some people would like it to interpret it differently. 


Reveal how much you wish to on the internet but be aware that intelligent people know that doing so is a license for others to question and be critical. If you can't handle that, don't post, if you do post, don't moan about it later. 

[Ade]

It's not about reciprocity. I am generally a giving person. It is about privacy and precaution. At one point in time I felt comfortable talking about just about anything on here, but I have read about how some posters internet stalked other posters, for whatever reasons, and tried to ruin their lives. Such actions have a chilling effect upon posters' freedom to post, whether justified or unjustified. I've never been associated with any other forum where that occurred. It's sort of creepy.

Interesting. Why not let us all in on this internet stalker's story? I can't remember anything like that here or are you just being a little melodramatic?

[GQBlues]

I am not married, but if I was, I would not discuss my personal life with my wife on the Web for various reasons. Mainly because it is an issue of privacy. It is not the business of others. Thoughts.

I'm afraid in this day and age, there's really not that much of a distinction between what most talk about here (with the exception of dildos etc...) from the offering people put out on Facebook and the like. Some folks' FB pages oozes with personal (sometimes private) details e.g. where they live, where they work, what they did and with whom, how they did what they did, where they hang out and with whom, daily activities, thoughts, journals, whereabouts, families, friends, etc.

...and all accompanied by colorful pictures...

[Belvis]

I am not married, but if I was, I would not discuss my personal life with my wife on the Web for various reasons. Mainly because it is an issue of privacy.

I see no reason to avoid talk about personal life as far as the anonymity is preserved. An issue of privacy relates to a person with the real name, not to an abstract nick personage. However some of the RWD members must keep caution, for example Mendeleev, who could be easily  deciphered because of his public activity.

[noelscot]

Interesting. Why not let us all in on this internet stalker's story? I can't remember anything like that here or are you just being a little melodramatic?

It's public record. Interested parties could read the many bitch-fights on here if they wanted specifics. I don't have a dog in any of those fights.

[Muzh]

It's public record. Interested parties could read the many bitch-fights on here if they wanted specifics. I don't have a dog in any of those fights.

You know what? I spent a good time searching for "stalker" and couldn't find anything. Mind sharing?

[GoodOlBoy]

Interesting. Why not let us all in on this internet stalker's story? I can't remember anything like that here or are you just being a little melodramatic?

It's public record. Interested parties could read the many bitch-fights on here if they wanted specifics. I don't have a dog in any of those fights.

Translation SJ & Muzh: Member's of RWD (particularly the powers that be) choose to throw the term "stalking" around here quite loosely, along with other terms like "mentally unstable", "drunk", "drug user", etc. etc. I probably missed a few others.
 
GOB

[Jumper]

I understand personal situations /events not being discussed.
and certainly avoid TMI,


Yet, I have no idea the paranoia that surrounds some people about the internet.(particularly photos)
you do go outside don't you?
exactly what would be so secret here in some forum that most people dont see about you or your spouse everyday?


what exactly is the difference if   *randomlogin1234* ,
 sees a photo of you, or as a couple,  or some comment you might make  about a
AM/RW relationship?




It seems to come down to the aversion to anonymous pot shots?




Facebook is generally far more civil.
why?
quite easy, it's people real names.


I would be all for that here to be perfectly candid,and the only reason i don't use my name here is the oft over the top sillyness of anonymous posters.

[noelscot]

I don't discuss my personal life (or my husband) "on web". I would hate if my husband does it.
RWD members do it, but I know their Russian wives would not like it if they knew.
I don't consider these private stories "American openness"- it is something else.

If I was married, I would let my wife have the passwords to all my internet doings, and I would only talk about her or post pictures of us together if we mutually agreed upon it. These actions would not be taken out of paranoia or jealousy, but rather because i believe if i was married, there would no longer be me, there would be us. this is my personal philosophy and what other people do is their business.

[noelscot]

I understand personal situations /events not being discussed.
and certainly avoid TMI,


Yet, I have no idea the paranoia that surrounds some people about the internet.(particularly photos)
you do go outside don't you?
exactly what would be so secret here in some forum that most people dont see about you or your spouse everyday?


what exactly is the difference if   *randomlogin1234* ,
 sees a photo of you, or as a couple,  or some comment you might make  about a
AM/RW relationship?




It seems to come down to the aversion to anonymous pot shots?




Facebook is generally far more civil.
why?
quite easy, it's people real names.


I would be all for that here to be perfectly candid,and the only reason i don't use my name here is the oft over the top sillyness of anonymous posters.

i am not one of the paranoid folks. i use my real name on here. some people remain anonymous for various reasons. some anonymous folks on here have laid claim to what is "good" and "evil" and gone on little holy crusades. methinks it wise to be leary of such people.
 

W.B. Yeats' poem "The Second Coming" describes these folks well:The ceremony of innocence is drowned;/The best lack all conviction, while the worst/Are full of passionate intensity.

 

[ML]

If I was married, I would let my wife have the passwords to all my internet doings, and I would only talk about her or post pictures of us together if we mutually agreed upon it. These actions would not be taken out of paranoia or jealousy, but rather because i believe if i was married, there would no longer be me, there would be us. this is my personal philosophy and what other people do is their business.

When are the application deadlines for this year's crop of saints?   

[GQBlues]

...If I was married, I would let my wife have the passwords to all my internet doings, and I would only talk about her or post pictures of us together if we mutually agreed upon it. These actions would not be taken out of paranoia or jealousy, but rather because i believe if i was married, there would no longer be me, there would be us. this is my personal philosophy and what other people do is their business.

...so then what's all the fuss about?

Besides, if you won't do what other people does when you get married, then why do you think it'll even matter one iota to others since you haven't done anything to talk about much less care?

Your statement above, coupled with the gist of your original post, makes about as much sense as the Invisible Man telling people he have the power to be invisible as long as no one is looking...

[Faux Pas]

...so then what's all the fuss about?

Besides, if you won't do what other people does when you get married, then why do you think it'll even matter one iota to others since you haven't done anything to talk about much less care?

Your statement above, coupled with the gist of your original post, makes about as much sense as the Invisible Man telling people he have the power to be invisible as long as no one is looking...

 

True

[Faux Pas]

If I was married, I would let my wife have the passwords to all my internet doings, and I would only talk about her or post pictures of us together if we mutually agreed upon it. These actions would not be taken out of paranoia or jealousy, but rather because i believe if i was married, there would no longer be me, there would be us. this is my personal philosophy and what other people do is their business.

Get married then, come back and re-visit this post

[newjason]

...so then what's all the fuss about?

Besides, if you won't do what other people does when you get married, then why do you think it'll even matter one iota to others since you haven't done anything to talk about much less care?

Your statement above, coupled with the gist of your original post, makes about as much sense as the Invisible Man telling people he have the power to be invisible as long as no one is looking...

Omg. My abs hurt a little from laughing so hard. whoa ...  ahh  thanks GQ  lolol

[Manny]

There are guy's on RWD that talk about their personal lives and the use of dildos.

Worse still, there are some on RWD who think it acceptable to discuss dildos with the teenage daughters of women they are visiting during a sex tour roving multi stop visit.

This subject matter does attract a slice of people for whom the usual personal filters and social boundaries that normal people might employ are somewhat hazy; if there at all. Some of those will divulge more about personal stuff than regular folk might. They will be unaware that doing so is considered unusual or abnormal by others.

For me, I never discuss anything on these types of forums that I am not happy for my wife to read. Indeed, my log ins on all such sites are automatic in the browser. She does read the forums herself occasionally anyway.

[GoodOlBoy]

 
 
I am curious Manny, using ML's criteria in the link below, which category would you put yourself in (Manly Man or...  ) ?
 

... Link...

GOB