Traveling to Sumy solo.

[van1970]

I been on Elana's Models for awhile as a silver member and went gold three months ago. I talked to several woman and found one I very much like. I was planning a vacation to Ukraine for October and that was the reason I was on the site. Now the lady I have found lives in Sumy. I plan to fly into Kiev and take a bus to Sumy. I thought about the train but I didn't like the time on it. I have spend maybe a year doing Rosetta Stone for Russian. Until very recently I didn't spend much time on it. I can understand a very little Russian and I can speak even less. Three weeks from today I should be in Sumy. The lady is going to meet me at the bus station. She has found an apartment for me. We have been talking for around two months. I send her an email everyday and I get maybe two or three a week from her. She says her English is poor.


 I don't think this is a scam. I might wonder if a 29 year old would be that interested in a 42 year old but I think she is a real woman. If she just want to spend her vacation with me on her dime that is great with me. If we happen to really like one another and it moves on to another level I would very much like that to happen as well.


How safe am I going to be doing this? When people say something like you might get Kidnapped and held for ransom I laugh. When they say you might get knocked in the head for your watch or don't show your money in public, I also laugh. When they say Ukraine is Russia and Russia is scary. I ask for details and I don't get any. The last was from someone born in German before she moved here so I thought maybe. I am not scared but when my dad says he wants me to have a translator with me as much as a bodyguard as translator. I wonder what to say.


I guess I really like to totally go into the culture. I don't want to take needless risks but struggling to talk now seems better than struggling to talk if we every go to the next level. I guess what I am really concerned with is that I want to know if Sumy is like London or Berlin in the law and order department. I don't think of it as a third world country.


In case we don't hit it off in the first few days, what would be a good back up plan? Are there places to meet women interested in
American men in Sumy or should I head back to Kiev?

[GoodOlBoy]

Welcome back Van, good to see you.
 
Have you been able to Skype any with the lady (away from the agency)?
 
GOB

[van1970]

I don't know if she is using an agency. We started email on Elana's models. We move to regular email. She says she has very limited computer access and I think she need a translator to read and write english. I talked about Google translate. I don't know how good that really is. She has given me her full name, her address, and her phone number. I haven't called her yet. I guess I should. It would answer they question if we need a translator or not. I guess the contact could be by an agency but I don't know.
I assume it was a friend and I know what that makes me;)


Btw you remember me from a past post?

[Eduard]

my dad says he wants me to have a translator with me as much as a bodyguard as translator. I wonder what to say.

sounds like your dad was talking about me!  He is a wise man!
To be serious, you don't need to be worried about your safety. Just exercise your common sense as you would going to any city in the States you haven't been to. In regard to being kidnapped you can hope that some gorgeous thing will kidnap you and keep you at her place for the length of your vacation 
Your biggest worry should be the mail order bride (MOB) industry in Ukraine. Too many prodaters, and everything else that goes along with them to exploit foreign men seeking Ukrainian brides. That's going to be your biggest task at hand - separating a beautiful fantasy from reality. And the other big one off course is overcoming the language and cultural barriers.
Have a great trip and good luck!

[Patagonie]

I been on Elana's Models for awhile as a silver member and went gold three months ago. I talked to several woman and found one I very much like. I was planning a vacation to Ukraine for October and that was the reason I was on the site. Now the lady I have found lives in Sumy. I plan to fly into Kiev and take a bus to Sumy. I thought about the train but I didn't like the time on it. I have spend maybe a year doing Rosetta Stone for Russian. Until very recently I didn't spend much time on it. I can understand a very little Russian and I can speak even less. Three weeks from today I should be in Sumy. The lady is going to meet me at the bus station. She has found an apartment for me. We have been talking for around two months. I send her an email everyday and I get maybe two or three a week from her. She says her English is poor.


 I don't think this is a scam. I might wonder if a 29 year old would be that interested in a 42 year old but I think she is a real woman. If she just want to spend her vacation with me on her dime that is great with me. If we happen to really like one another and it moves on to another level I would very much like that to happen as well.


How safe am I going to be doing this? When people say something like you might get Kidnapped and held for ransom I laugh. When they say you might get knocked in the head for your watch or don't show your money in public, I also laugh. When they say Ukraine is Russia and Russia is scary. I ask for details and I don't get any. The last was from someone born in German before she moved here so I thought maybe. I am not scared but when my dad says he wants me to have a translator with me as much as a bodyguard as translator. I wonder what to say.


I guess I really like to totally go into the culture. I don't want to take needless risks but struggling to talk now seems better than struggling to talk if we every go to the next level. I guess what I am really concerned with is that I want to know if Sumy is like London or Berlin in the law and order department. I don't think of it as a third world country.


In case we don't hit it off in the first few days, what would be a good back up plan? Are there places to meet women interested in
American men in Sumy or should I head back to Kiev?

Tell us what will be the price of the appartement/per night.
And also check the distance between the bus station and the appartement (good opportunity to ask her the adress of the flat and the price).
You will know quickly by the reaction of OP's here if she is genuine or not.

Ask her the price of the appartement and tell us.

[GoodOlBoy]

She has given me her full name, her address, and her phone number. I haven't called her yet.

Dude, call her now!!
She gave you her telephone number so you will call her.
She wants to hear your voice.
Don't you want to hear her's?
I just checked and it is 4:00PM in Sumy.
Call her now!!
 
If you need a phone card, try these people:
http://www.nobelcom.com/phone-cards/calling-Ukraine-from-United-States-1-287.html
 
Don't worry if her English is poor.
It doesn't matter now at this point.
Try not to get frustrated if the conversation is slow.
Good Luck!
 
GOB

[Eduard]

When you call her listen carefully to how she sounds on the phone. If she is for real, she should sound excited, her voice should be shaky with nervousness. If she sounds totally calm and a bit bored that would be a red flag. I've done many calls like this and believe me there is a distinct difference.

[CDW]

When you call her listen carefully to how she sounds on the phone. If she is for real, she should sound excited, her voice should be shaky with nervousness. If she sounds totally calm and a bit bored that would be a red flag. I've done many calls like this and believe me there is a distinct difference.

What about webcam?  I would need to see her in webcam before meeting, so that I can read her facial expressions.   I am very good at reading body language (part of my job I used to work). 

[Eduard]

What about webcam?  I would need to see her in webcam before meeting, so that I can read her facial expressions.   I am very good at reading body language (part of my job I used to work).

yes, skyping with her would even be better. But either way, if she looks totally relaxed and calm that would be a red flag. A woman who is sincerely interested in a man will be noticeably nervous and excited when he calls her the first few times.

[ML]

yes, skyping with her would even be better. But either way, if she looks totally relaxed and calm that would be a red flag. A woman who is sincerely interested in a man will be noticeably nervous and excited when he calls her the first few times.

There could be some truth to your point Ed, but depending on the woman's education, professional status, work experience, etc., (not to mention dating experience) . . .

A completely  honest and sincere woman doesn't necessarily have to be nervous and excited during a first phone call or Skype session.

[Daveman]

Dude, call her now!!
She gave you her telephone number so you will call her.
She wants to hear your voice.
Don't you want to hear her's?
I just checked and it is 4:00PM in Sumy.
Call her now!!
 
If you need a phone card, try these people:
http://www.nobelcom.com/phone-cards/calling-Ukraine-from-United-States-1-287.html
 
Don't worry if her English is poor.
It doesn't matter now at this point.
Try not to get frustrated if the conversation is slow.
Good Luck!
 
GOB

Definitely agree here... and kinda scratching my head...  well, yeah, it's a habit from a recurring dandruff issue, but aside from that -- why have you not called her already?




As far as crime goes... stay smart, avoid the same situations you'd avoid here.. etc.. and you'll be fine.  I've prowled all over the place, alone, often even at night...  don't have the illusion of invincibility but no need to fear your shadow either.  Confident yet cautious and you'll have no real problems.  Random crime can find anyone who is convenient, here or there. 

[van1970]

50 dollars a night which seems reasonable to me. I didn't ask how far from the bus station. It is near to where she lives. I do have her address I will ask what the address for the apartment is and how far. She seems to think we will do much walking. I walk over 2 miles everyday as exercise anyway so I don't might. I walk 6 miles sometimes on my weekends if I don't have anything going on.

[Eduard]

There could be some truth to your point Ed, but depending on the woman's education, professional status, work experience, etc., (not to mention dating experience) . . .

A completely  honest and sincere woman doesn't necessarily have to be nervous and excited during a first phone call or Skype session.

There could be some truth to your point, ML but depending on the woman's education, professional status, work experience, etc., (not to mention dating experience) . . .

A completely  honest and sincere woman doesn't necessarily have to be nervous and excited during a first phone call or Skype session if a man doesn't excite her.
On the other hand if a man is able to make her feel like she may finally have met the special person who may be her potential "second half" I guarantee that most women will sound nervous and excited during the first call. This has been my experience 

[Eduard]

50 dollars a night which seems reasonable to me. I didn't ask how far from the bus station. It is near to where she lives. I do have her address I will ask what the address for the apartment is and how far. She seems to think we will do much walking. I walk over 2 miles everyday as exercise anyway so I don't might. I walk 6 miles sometimes on my weekends if I don't have anything going on.

Taxi is very cheap in Ukraine, so you won't get killed moneywise even if you take a taxi everywhere you go instead of a bus. Keep in mind that taxi can be 2 to 4 times cheaper if you order one by phone versus flagging one down on the street.

[Hammer2722]

Taxi is very cheap in Ukraine, so you won't get killed moneywise even if you take a taxi everywhere you go instead of a bus. Keep in mind that taxi can be 2 to 4 times cheaper if you order one by phone versus flagging one down on the street.

Definitely agree with this. My gal always calls a taxi service rather than using the nearest taxi. Its always much cheaper especially when the guy sees that your a foreigner.

[Jumper]

For what it's  worth-

You are better off avoiding the police alltogether
As far as general safety, use the same tools you would if traveling to any big city, especially an unknown one to you.
Time of day or evening is important and no need to sray down isolated street or alleys.
or flash cash around. laugh or not, thats a bad idea anywhere.Even more so asa stranger
and yes you will be a stranger in a strange land
(but thats the fun of adventures like this)
You are correct, its not some third world country so you'll be fine if you keep your wits about you and eyes open. you're more likely to have trouble with a bad agency, or a bad women than anything else.I dont want to sound negative as you should have a great trip,but a few things you might expect..The russian you've learned may help a few words here or there, but dont expect you'll understand really anything spoken to you at first in a natural situation by a native speaker.It is just much faster and just sounds different than any of the pimslar or rosetta stone type learning exercises and you are likely only to catch the very most basic hello, thank you, welcome etc. if lucky.
Don't let that discourage learning though! as its good you've started and it will help once your ears and mind adapt to the pace and exact pronunciation.
Its just many people learn some, then are astounded that they cant understand a single thing spoken (at first )  
Listen to some russian songs and see if you can follow some of  the lyrics (its easier than spoken)
or to a few russian TV shows, that will give you a good idea of what you can expect to understand on the ground in real time

as far as your romantic interest,
do yourself a HUGE favor and call her, there is no reason not too.
There are several members here that offer three way interpreter calling for very reasonable rates if English is  an issue.
Also Skype with her if at all possible, surly one of her friends has access?

Eduard- thats  amusing.

I called my (now) wife when we were speaking in chat/vid (without audio)Even though she knew i had said I was going to call right then,  she still jumped in her chair as the phone rang and was pretty blushed and flustered when we spoke (nervous and laughing) and dint believe i'd really call.
My voice caught her off guard as well as it dint fit her mental image of what i would sound like (it was more strong than she expected  and scared her a little at first)
but her beaming smile ,and general actions, really helped understand her level of interest in me at the time. It dint hurt that she talked a long time and at 100  miles per minute,  and i couldn't get  word in edge wise, despite neither of us really understanding the other well over the phone. We still both laugh about that first conversation   
(ever notice a second language is twice as hard over the phone than in person?)


Anyway  i wouldn't go across town to date someone that I hadn't spoken to at least on the phone ,so i certainly advise van to call his romantic interest before travel  
And for as  many times as is reasonably comfortably and possible for both before the trip!

[Jumper]

Dude, call her now!!
She gave you her telephone number so you will call her.
She wants to hear your voice.
Don't you want to hear her's?
I just checked and it is 4:00PM in Sumy.
Call her now!!
 
If you need a phone card, try these people:
http://www.nobelcom.com/phone-cards/calling-Ukraine-from-United-States-1-287.html
 
Don't worry if her English is poor.
It doesn't matter now at this point.
Try not to get frustrated if the conversation is slow.
Good Luck!
 
GOB

x2!!

[Daveman]

Who are you? and what the heck did you do with Jumper?

  

[Jumper]

I edited it about 500 times.

 

[Patagonie]

50 dollars a night which seems reasonable to me. I didn't ask how far from the bus station. It is near to where she lives. I do have her address I will ask what the address for the apartment is and how far. She seems to think we will do much walking. I walk over 2 miles everyday as exercise anyway so I don't might. I walk 6 miles sometimes on my weekends if I don't have anything going on.

It seems to be ok. But in the future try to use a rental agency, they can often also pick up you. You will avoid many potential problems. It is also more the job of the man in FSU to manage logisitic.

[Vaughn]

It seems to be ok. But in the future try to use a rental agency, they can often also pick up you. You will avoid many potential problems. It is also more the job of the man in FSU to manage logisitic.

What problems? He's visiting one lady. Logistics? He's arranged his own transportation practically to her doorstep, and has her complete contact information with a couple of months of communication under his belt. A back-up plan seens to be only of mild concern to Van, as he's there to take in Ukraine culture as well.
 
How will some rental agency look after his interest better than this lady?

[Shadow]

Taxi is very cheap in Ukraine, so you won't get killed moneywise even if you take a taxi everywhere you go instead of a bus. Keep in mind that taxi can be 2 to 4 times cheaper if you order one by phone versus flagging one down on the street.

That depends if you flag a taxi or a 'private transport' in the street. The latter should be a lot cheaper as any taxi, provided you will pay the local rate and not the 'international' one.

[newjason]

hey Van
These guys are giving good advice.
One more thing I would do, is write her  and email telling her when you are going to call.
And tell her the time you will call where she is , not where you are.

This can be a real pain figuring the time diff

I finally came up with an easy way.  I was calling Ukraine. I am in the USA  Pacific standard time zone.
so they are +10 hours ahead. so, using the 12 hour clock I would  subtract 2 hours from my time and reverse the am/pm

So, if it's 8am here Tuesday morning
It's 6 pm there  tuesday evening   

8-2 = 6 + switch am with pm = 6pm

I was never good with the 24 hour clock and the 12 hour am pm works for me hope it helps you too.

[Patagonie]

What problems? He's visiting one lady. Logistics? He's arranged his own transportation practically to her doorstep, and has her complete contact information with a couple of months of communication under his belt. A back-up plan seens to be only of mild concern to Van, as he's there to take in Ukraine culture as well.
 
How will some rental agency look after his interest better than this lady?

I had met two prodaters in my past, from EM, i was also having all details from one and phone number of the other. Both were confirmed, one in a WMVO and the other during a WMVM transformed in VO (i moved in her city the day after).
By setting that you are managing transport and rental there are no stakes, you avoid any tentation and all is simpler.
You can have others meetings if it doesn't work and no problems of how to give back the key and no need to call the first lady.
You will pay more for transportation but you don't need to rely on someone if things don't work for the return trip.

In general for newbie i consider this is the way to go. Just my 2 cents.

[Eduard]

hey Van
These guys are giving good advice.
One more thing I would do, is write her  and email telling her when you are going to call.
And tell her the time you will call where she is , not where you are.

This can be a real pain figuring the time diff

I finally came up with an easy way.  I was calling Ukraine. I am in the USA  Pacific standard time zone.
so they are +10 hours ahead. so, using the 12 hour clock I would  subtract 2 hours from my time and reverse the am/pm

So, if it's 8am here Tuesday morning
It's 6 pm there  tuesday evening   

8-2 = 6 + switch am with pm = 6pm

I was never good with the 24 hour clock and the 12 hour am pm works for me hope it helps you too.

this is a little like scratching your right ear with your left hand    Why not just add the difference and you will know the time there.
For example if the time difference is 7 hours and  it's 12PM here it means that it's 7PM in Ukraine. If the time difference is 10 hours, that would mean that the time in Ukraine is 10PM. Simple really.