RW here versus RW there

[viking]

My brother owns a hair salon in Seattle. Many of his customers are RW's either recently transplanted or been here for awhile. When he mentioned to them my interest in RW's some of them said to come over to his place and meet them!

Question, does anyone have any experience in meeting RWs who live here versus meeting them in the FSU?

Do the ones available here have the same, how shall I say this, mindset, as those over there? Or is the thrill of bringing over a new person part of the allure?

[al-c]

Hi Greg,

Personally, I would not mind skipping the $8,000.00 or so it takes to bring one here.

But Elena Petrova, who I find to be a credible source, despite the misgivings some people here have about her, wrote that RW livng here and being single tend to become Americanized and spoiled, just like the AW who have fallen into disfavor with us.

I can't verify any of this personally since I don't know any RW living in the U.S.

 

[viking]

Al,

 

I can agree. But once Olga comes over, would not the same thing happen to her as well, after a few years? Live here, become a member of the tribe?

[al-c]

Well yes, and that applies to any RW.  But if she is going to get Americanized, at least she will be doing it with me, while I get "Russianized".

[Oosik]

I was very serious for a while with a UW who had lived in Toronto for a few years.

After her, I swore off AW, even thought this UW had some issues, like:

She was "Kiev Proud". Add "Toronto Proud" to it, and more than a touch  of the current Canadian fashion of US bashing. She had the attitude  that mega-cities are the only place worth living, and that people who  lived elsewhere were inferior in education, culture and intelligence.

I would tell you to check these ladies out, but ideally they are more  modest and humble than my Kiev Queen was. At least a guy could spend  more time in the "getting to know you" phase.

[Albert]

Do the ones available here have the same, how shall I say this, mindset, as those over there? Or is the thrill of bringing over a new person part of the allure?

The mindset is something that distinguishes the average RW from the average AW.

But, it is logical that once here, the mindset begins to change.  Assume a mindset spectrum that goes from one extreme that most men do not like to the opposite extreme that most men adore.

The variables are 1) where on the spectrum was the particular RW placed to begin with, 2) how quickly the particular RW begins to move on the spectrum, and 3) how far on the spectrum she moves in total.

The odds are that a RW who is already here will have moved farther on the spectrum than the average guy would wish.  But it also depends on where on the spectrum she started.

As with most such variables, we just really do not know.

The safer bet seems to prefer RW who are not here to RW who are here.  But as with any bet, even going with the odds, the opposite outcome may result.

[ronin308]

I agree with Oosik on parts of his post, what can it hurt?  Every one is different so you'll probably see both good and bad in the batch.

 

[jb]

They adapt to life in their new home very quickly.  You should expect a full blown American on your hands within a couple years.  She won't lose her accent, but she won't be thinking like a RW anymore.  If she has marketable skills and moves into the American workplace, the process of adaptation accelerates exponentially.

[Jay Patches]

I've met a lot of them here, and dated some, even green card girls.  However, given the quality of some of the men, I don't always blame them.  It's not always the guy who gets the surprise on arrival, sometimes it's the girl.

If she does date you, it's not because she wants you to be her mule, it's because she's interested in you.

And, for what it's worth: yes, I have met the money grubbing scammer here too.  They're easy to spot and easy to avoid.

JP

[Jet]

They adapt to life in their new home very quickly.  You should expect a full blown American on your hands within a couple years.  She won't lose her accent, but she won't be thinking like a RW anymore.  If she has marketable skills and moves into the American workplace, the process of adaptation accelerates exponentially.

Heh heh, don't give away all the secrets, you'll blow the fantasy .

[rose]

[size="3"]It just happen that I keep meeting one of the RW living here for several years when I look at myself in the mirrow.
Do I like what I see there? Do I see an Americanized version of me? Yes.

So, guys, you are looking for that special person with a mindset ... Well, explain me please more what kind of a mindset you are looking?

Who are those single women living here? There are many ways how they've got here: some came on a student or work visa, some got married and stayed here after their divorces, some came as refugees. They all are different, but all of them despite of their diversive mindsets have the major quality: they are strong fighters in this life. Because to come here and to try to make the best from it requires a lot of strength. Americanization is a part of their adjustment to their new life.
Yes, they differ a lot from those naive women who come here on K1 visas, and who look at you, guys, as their Gods, because you are everything for them. Those women who left behind thier lives in Russia/Ukraine just to be with you. I assume that all of you on this forum are not jerks who are looking for a RW just to gain a control over RW, people who will support their wives in a long and difficult process of adjustment to their new lives. Wait, in a couple of years they will adjust to their lives here and will become the same Americanazed women, and their mindset will change, too. What will you do then? Divorce and look for a new wife with a non-Americanized mindset?

And returning to the words of Elena Petrova about "spoiledness"... What does she mean? Does this mean that RW here probably will not settle for a man who tells her BS and she will not buy it? Or does spoildness mean that I wouldn't settle for a guy who makes twice less than I? Or does spoldness mean that we learned how to be indipendent the hard way?
No matter when we came here, several years or just a day ago, we still are the same women who want the family, who will give a lot in order to be happy and to make happier the man we are with.

Please, describe what kind of a mindset exactly you are looking in RW there that is so different from the mindset of RW here, which will not be changed after your RW will get some experience here and will adjust to her new American life.

I think it might be a very productive discussion, because it can help you better understand yourselves and define the reasons  of your search  for someone who lives half-globe from you.  Maybe you know it already, I'll be glad to find out why I am not a "marriage" material for such guys like you, what will be also productive for me and such  "spoiled" women like I am.

[/size]

[Elen]

Are you sure that you yourself want that "marriage material" which is represented in this business ( I mean seaching for wife in the FSU?)

[Jet]

And returning to the words of Elena Petrova about "spoiledness"... What does she mean? Does this mean that RW here probably will not settle for a man who tells her BS and she will not buy it? Or does spoildness mean that I wouldn't settle for a guy who makes twice less than I? Or does spoldness mean that we learned how to be indipendent the hard way?
No matter when we came here, several years or just a day ago, we still are the same women who want the family, who will give a lot in order to be happy and to make happier the man we are with.[/size]

My wife wasn't willing to put up with those things before she got here, so I guess she's spoiled too . She had a pretty decent life in Russia compared to her friends and neighbors, and certainly wasn't interested in moving "half a globe" away for something WORSE than she'd already achieved on her own. She did her best to try to understand the difficulties she was going to face before she got here and I think that helped with the speed of her adjustment to American life. (Although the difficult times were no less intense than anyone else's.)

[55North]

The UW of my interest, whom I met through Elena Petrova's agency, is not alone amongst her friends, all of which have been, or are with the same agency.  Those that have left the agency, have found European men, with varying degrees of long term success.  They are all aged mid 30s, early 40s.  These are not innocents abroad, or nearly abroad.  They are tough, self-assured beings looking for some sort of peaceful, and hopefully, loving co-existance with a man who is cultured, kind, and able to provide (albeit just able).  Although they love their country (as I am beginning to), they know that things are not going to get a whole lot better for their declining years, no matter who the next Prime minister is.  They can also fly home within 2 hours.
   
Yes, I have had the opportunity to 'court' someone 20+ years my junior, English speaking, attractive, etc., etc.. but as you say in the States, it's a no-brainer.  I am attracted to a soulmate, with a certain amount of shared 'experience' (the Cold War, the Beatles, etc.) whom is no different in aspiration to women of her (maturer) age in North America or Western Europe.
 
So, what do we know?  Are there differences between AW and EW, AM and EM, RW and UW, Moscow and the regions, Kyiv and the regions?  The answers must be YES, and also NO.  
   
Maybe Viking has got something, about the allure of foreign.  I think I must be one, since my last relationship was with a Peruvian, and my first, in the 60s with a Dane.  That's for starters.  What's my problem?  Whatever it is, I would hate myself if it was something to do with a woman's (undeveloped) mindset, a concept so eloquently rubbished by Rosa.  Thank heavens for Rosa here to bash a few heads together occasionally, so to speak, a bit like my mum used to!

[Taz]

I think Rose had some good points here. However one thing I that has been touched on in this thread but not fully explored is that you have a better idea of what you are actually getting into. You will see what the end product is more likely to be. There is less risk to that but at the same time you have less input in guiding the outcome.

This may sound crass but if you meet your RW over there and then bring her here; she will be more customized to your specific situation. You will have a great responsibility on your hands as well. The people who bring up the cost issue here are, well I shouldn't use this but they come across as idiots? If you are worried about the price you shouldn't be in this it at all. Why would a woman want to leave her poverty (or better) to come live in your poverty and misery? If you can't afford to bring her here you are going to have a hard time providing for her once she is here.

Often the RW here have been through difficult relationships or even just difficult divorces. You end up with an RW/AW hybrid that can be even harder to pin down. Of course your RW will mutate into this strange version of what she was before. The longer she is here the less she will be like she was when you met her. Sometimes this can be an improvement sometimes the opposite. Again this is the risk you take. Keep in mind the old adage; Men marry women expecting them to never change and women marry men expecting them TO CHANGE! Women often look at men as "fixer-uppers" or "projects" or someone they can "reform". They look at you as a carpenter would access his stock of would before making a cabinet or countertop. She/he will assess if the base stock they have to work with can turn out to be the finished product they want and if so how much effort will it take to take care of any defects it might have.

As mentioned previously existing RW here may come from all kinds of less than desirable situations and may have some serious emotional baggage from then but then again so do many of you. This of course applies to the one still residing in their motherland but I've seen a lot of messed up RW here. Then again I've seen ones that have been emotionally kicked in the teeth a few times become a lot less proud and arrogant and more willing to compromise with their man.

Also keep in mind another age old axiom; a man (or woman) is only as faithful as they have options. Once here a lot of women have options to cheat on their husband that they never enjoyed before. So some of them take advantage of this new found freedom when it wouldn't have been a viable option in their home country. I am not making any moral judgments here. Of course if she is 25 and totally hot she can easily find a suitor anywhere but most of you here aren't chasing that type of chick.

So you must decided for yourself and based upon the individual woman and her situation. Have I dated RW here? Yes. Would I do it again? Definitely! Is it a different experience? Without a doubt but I adapted quite quickly to it. There are definite pluses like you can spend more time getting to know them. You don't have to waste time traveling a long way. You can call her and see her frequently. You see them in what will be their home environment for the future. In some ways it may take the thrill of the hunt out of it for some of you. You can always give it a try locally and then if it doesn't work out expand your search. What have you got to lose? Only downside is you need to be a little more understanding and be a good listener as they have often been through a lot. In return you might end up with a very appreciative RW. If you are worried about losing a little time but you could always write one over there if you were really concerned about it.

[PeeWee]

I think Rose had some good points here. However one thing I that has been touched on in this thread but not fully explored is that you have a better idea of what you are actually getting into. You will see what the end product is more likely to be. There is less risk to that but at the same time you have less input in guiding the outcome.

This may sound crass but if you meet your RW over there and then bring her here; she will be more customized to your specific situation. You will have a great responsibility on your hands as well. The people who bring up the cost issue here are, well I shouldn't use this but they come across as idiots? If you are worried about the price you shouldn't be in this it at all. Why would a woman want to leave her poverty (or better) to come live in your poverty and misery? If you can't afford to bring her here you are going to have a hard time providing for her once she is here.

Often the RW here have been through difficult relationships or even just difficult divorces. You end up with an RW/AW hybrid that can be even harder to pin down. Of course your RW will mutate into this strange version of what she was before. The longer she is here the less she will be like she was when you met her. Sometimes this can be an improvement sometimes the opposite. Again this is the risk you take. Keep in mind the old adage; Men marry women expecting them to never change and women marry men expecting them TO CHANGE! Women often look at men as "fixer-uppers" or "projects" or someone they can "reform". They look at you as a carpenter would access his stock of would before making a cabinet or countertop. She/he will assess if the base stock they have to work with can turn out to be the finished product they want and if so how much effort will it take to take care of any defects it might have.

As mentioned previously existing RW here may come from all kinds of less than desirable situations and may have some serious emotional baggage from then but then again so do many of you. This of course applies to the one still residing in their motherland but I've seen a lot of messed up RW here. Then again I've seen ones that have been emotionally kicked in the teeth a few times become a lot less proud and arrogant and more willing to compromise with their man.

Also keep in mind another age old axiom; a man (or woman) is only as faithful as they have options. Once here a lot of women have options to cheat on their husband that they never enjoyed before. So some of them take advantage of this new found freedom when it wouldn't have been a viable option in their home country. I am not making any moral judgments here. Of course if she is 25 and totally hot she can easily find a suitor anywhere but most of you here aren't chasing that type of chick.

So you must decided for yourself and based upon the individual woman and her situation. Have I dated RW here? Yes. Would I do it again? Definitely! Is it a different experience? Without a doubt but I adapted quite quickly to it. There are definite pluses like you can spend more time getting to know them. You don't have to waste time traveling a long way. You can call her and see her frequently. You see them in what will be their home environment for the future. In some ways it may take the thrill of the hunt out of it for some of you. You can always give it a try locally and then if it doesn't work out expand your search. What have you got to lose? Only downside is you need to be a little more understanding and be a good listener as they have often been through a lot. In return you might end up with a very appreciative RW. If you are worried about losing a little time but you could always write one over there if you were really concerned about it.

It's true. Some of these lads tend to believe that these FSU ladies are akin to Steppford Wives. In their inexperience with women they tend to forget that they are indeed women. Creatures that are capable of acting as sweet as a kitten one day and then a tiger the next. The PMS still happens, and all of the other reactions to their enviroment still occur. They are not pets and they do not magicly arrive on our soil with blank minds. They drag everything with them and they are capable of doing anything that any other woman is capable if doing. Be it bad or be it good.

I take a cautious approach and I sometimes wonder if I can afford this adventure. With a son in college and an income that can swing into the six figures at times I am still at odds with myself as to whether or not this is financially feasable for me or not. For some reason I trudge on.

Peewee

[tim 360]

An excellent post Rose. 

[rose]

Thank you, Tim

[Tim7]

[user=527]al-c[/user] wrote:

Hi Greg,

Personally, I would not mind skipping the $8,000.00 or so it takes to bring one here.

But Elena Petrova, who I find to be a credible source, despite the misgivings some people here have about her, wrote that RW livng here and being single tend to become Americanized and spoiled, just like the AW who have fallen into disfavor with us.

I can't verify any of this personally since I don't know any RW living in the U.S.

 

 

SOLID ADVICE-- Stay away from RW, try other FSU countries!!! Better women!

[groovlstk]

I've got a busy week ahead of me as I'm planning to meet a number of  Russian women living locally. It seems that most arrived here on K1s  and ultimately divorced. After talking to these women, I see time and  again that the reason they left their husbands is that the men tried to  control every aspect of their lives. One girl had 2 university degrees  and her husband insisted she work at the local Walmart instead, so that  she'd never achieve self-sufficiency. Another was forbidden from  working, although before the marriage they were assured they could have  their own career.

I take these explanations with a grain of salt, of course, since I'm  sure they're embellished. However, I'm seeing the same story again and  again, and there must be some truth behind it. I mean, if a girl's  going to lie and put herself in a sympathetic light, why not say that  her husband was cheating on her?

Food for thought for you guys who think you can choose your wife's  friends and keep her under a magnifying glass... eventually she'll  rebel.

[Taz]

I mean, if a girl's going to lie and put herself in a sympathetic light, why not say that her husband was cheating on her?

If I heard this from a RW here I would think that she wasn't giving any loving to her man. I can see the RM cheating on RW in Russia. If her man said she was cheating on her here it would be in incredible insult to her sensual/sexual prowess so to speak. If some hot RW can't hold you attention here than obviously there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with her (and possibly of course the guy but I'd bet on the woman).

I met a RW and she told me her husband cheated on her all the time. It actually seemed more so than most. I found out why is she was how you say... a dead fish. This woman has no, zero, zip, nada, nothing remotely resembling any sex drive. According to her, hubby tried for a long time to get her interested but it wasn't to be. After a while he just jumped on did a few push ups and left. A bit later he totally gave up and found comfort or at least minyet in the orifices of another woman.

[2tallbill]

Yes, resuscitating another thread.

This cartoon belongs to cartoon stock

Does anybody search for FSUW who live locally?

[ML]

My UW has been here nine and half years.  USA citizen now for several years.

We were watching a TV mystery show recently and I paused the recording playback because I didn't understand the meaning of something that was said (or maybe inferred).

Wife explained it to me.

Then I said (jokingly) that I didn't like for someone else to figure something out before me because I was the American watching an American TV show.

Wife replied:  I am an American also !!

[japtats]

Am i the only one who actually prefers western women? I mean physically speaking i love FSUW, but that is about it, you can find love in both countries, but you do find a better bang for your buck in FSU if you are after looks. FSU in the west just have options, men begin to realise if a woman has options she isn't oging to be happy with visit many approach (Not a dig at people who do this), the woman now has standards, she won't tolerate a lot of stuff you got away with prior to marrying.

It is not about culture , it is about options .

[Grumpy]

Does anybody search for FSUW who live locally?

I have been guilty.
Some were nice. Others were not my type.
Still looking, location is not one of my criteria.