First Kiss

[van1970]

I know this was covered in another thread kind of but I just wanted an some input for my case. I have emailed my Lady everyday for 2 months. Now I have come to visit her. We have had five dates. Every time I go to kiss her she turns her cheek to me. I asked my sister the other day about it and she told me it was odd and I should ask about it. She said she likes dating me but wants to wait. Does this seem odd to anyone elses? I have read before if your gut tells you it is wrong you should go with it. I also know there are cultural differences.


Thanks
Van

[GoodOlBoy]

Every time I go to kiss her she turns her cheek to me.

Are you in a public or private setting?
 
GOB

[van1970]

The times I tried we were inside my apartment but with the female translator.

[Daveman]

The times I tried we were inside my apartment but with the female translator.

Well, of course she doesn't want you to kiss the female translator... sheesh...


Yeah, if someone else is there in the room, she will probably be a bit hesitant to go for it..  why is the terp there five days into it? 

[Patagonie]

We need additionals details : .
Who provide the flat ?.
Who provide the transportation ?.
In which city are you ?.
What were the fee you have paid for taxis ?.
Which have you done to this lady ?.
What did you ask to bring ?.
Where do this translator comes from ?.
What is the price of the translator per hour ? .
What about is body language ?.
Are you experimented with women ?.
What was the price of the restaurant you have gone ?

[van1970]

I speak very little Russian and no Ukrainian. She seems to speak no English. Once in awhile I will understand a word. How are we suppose to get to know one another with a translator.

[GoodOlBoy]

Age difference Van? ... no flaming (from me). 
 
GOB

[van1970]

We need additionals details : .
Who provide the flat ?.
Who provide the transportation ?.
In which city are you ?. Sumy
What were the fee you have paid for taxis ?. I give them 100 for a ride home. We picked her up today and it is a far way.
Which have you done to this lady ?. Don't understand the question. I have held her hand and I have hugged her. I don't think outside the first night has she hugged me. She is starting to go to hold my hand now.
What did you ask to bring ?.  Perfume.
Where do this translator comes from ?. she found the translator. My buddy had a translator I could have used but it wouldn't work for me as he didn't know me and was worried about new clients being smugglers or something.
What is the price of the translator per hour ? . 15 dollars an hour.
What about is body language ?. She seemed very happy to see me this afternoon.
Are you experimented with women ?. no
What was the price of the restaurant you have gone ?for the 3 of us it has been as low as 300 and as high as 600. They seem to like 2 places and don't really want to go elsewhere.

[Ranetka]

I speak very little Russian and no Ukrainian. She seems to speak no English. Once in awhile I will understand a word. How are we suppose to get to know one another with a translator.

She might be into you, she might not.



Are you expecting her to go for a full blown French kiss with a translator present? Are you eventually going to have a threesome with a translator too?


Get rid of a translator, you have to at some point.

[van1970]

I am 42 she is 29.

[GoodOlBoy]

I am 42 she is 29.

You are looking good on this front Van!
 
You might just want to ask her straight up what the deal is.
Take no offense Van, maybe she's just shy, maybe it's a breath/yellow teeth thingy or not into you thingy.... it could be a million thingy's.
 
Just ask her.
 
Preferably without the translator present.
 
 
GOB

[GoodOlBoy]

Do you have an Ectaco or something like that with you?
 
http://www.ectaco.com/ECTACO-Partner-ER900/
 
They work really well.
 
My wife still uses hers today, almost 8 years later.

I also use it sometimes to talk to some of the Russian ladies here in Sunny Isles Beach.
 
GOB

PS... Be warned, my wife grabbed mine from me when I was leaving at the airport after our first meeting in Greece.

[Daveman]

We need additionals details : .
Who provide the flat ?.
Who provide the transportation ?.
In which city are you ?. Sumy
What were the fee you have paid for taxis ?. I give them 100 for a ride home. We picked her up today and it is a far way.
Which have you done to this lady ?. Don't understand the question. I have held her hand and I have hugged her. I don't think outside the first night has she hugged me. She is starting to go to hold my hand now.
What did you ask to bring ?.  Perfume.
Where do this translator comes from ?. she found the translator. My buddy had a translator I could have used but it wouldn't work for me as he didn't know me and was worried about new clients being smugglers or something.
What is the price of the translator per hour ? . 15 dollars an hour.
What about is body language ?. She seemed very happy to see me this afternoon.
Are you experimented with women ?. no
What was the price of the restaurant you have gone ?for the 3 of us it has been as low as 300 and as high as 600. They seem to like 2 places and don't really want to go elsewhere.

Other than the "15 dollars an hour", the rest of the values are in UAH, correct?  Even 100UAH for a taxi ride for locals completely across town is about double what it probably costs.  300 to 600 UAH is not overly expensive but definitely indicates that she's also not overly concerned about what you have to spend.


Overall, it seems a little off to me...  even a woman who cannot speak English would want to be alone with you and 'figure it out' as you go, e.g., buy a dictionary, use computer translator, etc.. but wouldn't want the third wheel there after the first one or two, but certainly not every date.  That's off kilter.  Not necessarily a 'scam' but could just be using the terp as a buffer.


"Afraid of new clients being smugglers" is either the largest crock of BS I've heard to date, or that terp is a completely certifiable idiot. 

[calmissile]

Van,

Don't be alarmed by this behavior.  I ran into this with my present G/F also.  I took over a week and a romantic setting before the behavior changed.  It seems that there are as many different personalities in FSU women as women anywhere.

My gal was raised in a very strict environment and was shy to boot!  It is said that once the gal decides you are the man for her, you will have trouble scraping her off you.  Some of the women were raised differently and are very reserved until they know you well enough to let themselves go so to speak.

If you like her, just hang in there and don't push the intimacy thing.  She will respect you for that and in fact I was told that by her.

[Aditya]

Well, out of the situation you described. All i can figure out is she is uncomfortable with the translator, maybe ask the translator to excuse you both for a moment ?

[Shadow]

Time for kitchen table conversation.

[I/O]

Why am I yet again reminded of
 

 

[Vaughn]

Time for kitchen table conversation.

 
Absolutely. Without the translator. Van, at some point you two are going to have to struggle through the barrier together, even if it means keeping phrase books/dictionaries nearby. It can be a bonding thing even with its challenges.
 
You haven't revealed when she turns her cheek if you follow through and kiss that cheek. Regardless, time alone might change her body language in a positive way. Seems like right now the wheels are spinning.

[ML]

Some good advice here but . . . I don't think anyone has addressed it from this angle yet.

Are you a kissy - huggy guy??

If you are, then you are in trouble with this gal and will be unhappy with her long term.

Yes, of course I understand the interpreter present, some shyness, etc.

But if a gal is the kissy - huggy type, then she would have already initiated it herself . . . starting with hugs, kiss on your cheek, your hair, etc.

So what type of guy are you regarding the need for affection?

Even if a shy gal finally comes around regarding the kissing; I still wouldn't stay with her if I were a kissy - huggy guy and she were not a kissy - huggy gal.

[GoodOlBoy]

Not to pry Van, but how much longer are you going to be there?
Is this a VO (visit one)?
 
GOB

[van1970]

I don't think I am overly huggy touchy.
I will be here til 6 am Nov 6.

[IAmZon]

Well, well ...  It just so happens I have just completed my course on this exact subject:)

Even the best pick-up artists get iced in Ukraine - I WOULD NEVER GO TO UKRAINE JUST FOR PARTY GIRLS; wrong place for that.

Now, for serious men that are marriage minded ... Yes, it is true that fast gestures of affection comes slow with Ukrainian women. In most cases, they are presuming the absolute worst - plus in some areas it is very conservative - plus, if people in their small city witness anything, she may as well be a hooker.  So, it is an uphill climb.

HOWEVER, a man leads.  Do not be emotionally needy.  But be firm in everything it is better to know the truth: 1, does she like you, or just measuring options.  2, is she cold, and not acceptable to you in the long run.   It is best to be as direct as Russians are.  And do not try to put a square peg into a round whole.

Do not be quick to reach a conclusion, but do not be weak, soft, or make excuses. 

[Manny]

You are seeking a 10+ year age gap.

You tell us you are inexperienced with women.

You are paying western rates for a translator.

You have only just started to ask yourself how you and she are going to communicate now that you are on the ground.

Going abroad is not a get-out-of-jail-free card for those who cannot relate to local women. Going abroad is overall way harder than staying at home. I suspect this endeavour isn't for you, Van.

The answer to your question is she just isn't that into you. Women there are the same as women anywhere. Don't believe all this claptrap about 'women wanting to wait' - its baloney.

[IAmZon]

You are seeking a 10  year age gap. You tell us you are inexperienced with women. You are paying western rates for a translator. You have only just started to ask yourself how you and she are going to communicate now that you are on the ground. Going abroad is not a get-out-of-jail-free card for those who cannot relate to local women. Going abroad is overall way harder than staying at home. I suspect this endeavour isn't for you, Van. The answer to your question is she just isn't that into you. Women there are the same as women anywhere. Don't believe all this claptrap about 'women wanting to wait' - its baloney.

Agreed as this relates to Van.

Disagree that woman are the same everywhere.   Take an attractive 29 year old, educated woman from a normal  middle class family in China; USA; Colombia; Argentina; Israel; Russia/Ukraine ... and you have a very different person in each case, with a very different set of "norms" and expectations.  I'm just saying ...

[GoodOlBoy]

The answer to your question is she just isn't that into you. Women there are the same as women anywhere. Don't believe all this claptrap about 'women wanting to wait' - its baloney.

Manny may be right Van.
 
I hope not.
 
My marriage has a 10.5 year age gap. When we met in Greece, I was 47 and Marina was 36 1/2.
We talked (telephoned), snail mailed and e-mailed each other for almost 3 months (no Skype back then).
Of course, since we had never met in person, we booked separate hotel rooms in Glyfada (beachside resort), but long story short.... Marina and I both started sparking the minute she arrived at the airport in Athens.
"Sparking" is a term us mountain folk use to describe different levels of intimacy.
She left no doubts in my mind about her serious intentions.
 
Get rid of the terp Van, ASAP.
 
I believe that everything will become clear to you after that.
 
Best of luck to you!

GOB