Intimacy..any rules existing?

[Faux Pas]

Sex is one of many components borne out of a desired and meaningful destination - the relationship. When it happens should be as inconsequential as it is variable from one individual/couple to another.
 

When sex becomes the greater focus than the intented destination, or the time it is consumated to any of the individual involved, then the relationship is questionable to begin with.

+1

[Patagonie]

Yes, but the problem is . . . 'most' women don't want to talk about anything related to sex before a first meeting . . . and has been posted here several times; they will immediately drop a man who mentions anything about sex in their correspondence.

+1
Only loosers want to talk sex on internet, before any first meeting.
Reals men practice sex, they don't talk about.
You will know about with the lady, if there is interest, when you meet.

[Patagonie]

Sorry about quoting my own post, but I'm a little surprised that no one took note/commented on this issue.
I had a Canadian client 2 or 3 years ago who didn't believe in sex before marriage which was OK. What wasn't OK was the fact that he decided not to share this information with me or the women he was going to see until we were already on the ground in Russia meeting them. The first woman he met he had a particularly strong connection with on line and there was chemistry when they met and dated for a couple of days, but then she wanted intimacy and he explained to her about his views on sex before marriage... it was downhill from that point on.
For those of you who have a dirty mind and wondering if I was in the room with them when he had to explain - no I wasn't. She happened to be a professional English translator and her English was excellent for some one who had never lived in an English-speaking country.


The moral of this story is - please disclose any kind of personal preferences or religious beliefs you might have to the women you are chatting with as soon as it starts getting serious enough to the point where you are talking about visiting them. Your preferences may be unacceptable to some women so you can save yourself and a woman a lot of time and money by discussing these things before visiting and finding out how she feels.

Yeah if you are a swapper or a SM, or you have other exotic sexuality, better to tell her in advance +1.

[ML]

Yeah if you are a swapper or a SM, or you have other exotic sexuality, better to tell her in advance +1.

What about on back deck of secluded house (with deer, squirrels, turkeys, etc., watching); bent (preferably her) over breakfast bar (good for neither of you  missing anything during football game); on rug in front of active fireplace (be sure to have a screen to avoid those nasty poppers); on large flat rock in middle of woods overlooking fairly deep gorge with stream at bottom (one or both should wear knee pads)?

[Eduard]

Yeah if you are a swapper or a SM, or you have other exotic sexuality, better to tell her in advance  1.

I was thinking more in terms of some one's religious beliefs that prohibit sex before marriage... 
But you are right, if some one's sexual preferences are way outside what most would consider "normal" it might be a good idea to have a discussion.
This reminds me - I did some translation work for a guy who was searching on his own but just used me whenever he needed advice or translation. So this guy was chatting with this RW and she was the one initiating conversations about sex. He didn't share this with me at the time so I had no idea what was going on. He did visit her and afterwords he told me tat she was a beautiful nymphomaniac, who was thinking about sex all the time and wanted a husband who would be into swinging. This wasn't what he had in mind so needless to say he ended that relationship.
It is unusual for a woman to initiate all that sex talk before  they have even met so if he had told me about this I would have given him a fair warning, but he had not. Well, he enjoyed the visit, but she wasn't what he was looking for.  But there are all kinds of men and women out there and sometimes it's good to learn to read between the lines. It may help in some situations.

Generally I would stay away from talking about sex with a woman before the meeting, but if you do have something out of the ordinary to share (like no sex before marriage or that you want to swing with your future wife) it might be a good idea to bring this up at some point before the trip IMO.

[Daveman]

What about on back deck of secluded house (with deer, squirrels, turkeys, etc., watching); bent (preferably her) over breakfast bar (good for neither of you  missing anything during football game); on rug in front of active fireplace (be sure to have a screen to avoid those nasty poppers); on large flat rock in middle of woods overlooking fairly deep gorge with stream at bottom (one or both should wear knee pads)?

Ah, but you left out the ceiling fan twirl!

[Turboguy]

What about on back deck of secluded house (with deer, squirrels, turkeys, etc., watching); bent (preferably her) over breakfast bar (good for neither of you  missing anything during football game); on rug in front of active fireplace (be sure to have a screen to avoid those nasty poppers); on large flat rock in middle of woods overlooking fairly deep gorge with stream at bottom (one or both should wear knee pads)?

That's actually pretty conservative ML.  It does bring back memories of the 21 YO I lived with for 3 1/2 years when I was 45 but that's all a lot tamer than the things she thought of.

[ML]

Ah, but you left out the ceiling fan twirl!

Hanging by hands or feet?

[ML]

That's actually pretty conservative ML.  It does bring back memories of the 21 YO I lived with for 3 1/2 years when I was 45 but that's all a lot tamer than the things she thought of.

Yes, I know.  But many (mostly guys) here go bezerk when even the word sex is mentioned, so I thought I would help prevent heart attacks just before  Christmas.

When Gal and I were watching 'Birthday Girl' there were some minor scenes where the gal and guy were tying each other up for sexual encounters, etc.

I said: "I don't understand such and am not interested in doing it."
She said: "Good thing; because I wouldn't be here with you if you wanted such."

[Eduard]

Yes, I know.  But many (mostly guys) here go bezerk when even the word sex is mentioned, so I thought I would help prevent heart attacks just before  Christmas.

When Gal and I were watching 'Birthday Girl' there were some minor scenes where the gal and guy were tying each other up for sexual encounters, etc.

I said: "I don't understand such and am not interested in doing it."
She said: "Good thing; because I wouldn't be here with you if you wanted such."

on the other hand lots of women love to be restrained... so you two might be in the minority 

[ML]

Could be; but I haven't come across any women who wanted to be restrained; at least they didn't tell me such.

I did find one who wanted me to spank her on ass.  I did medium spank, and then she said:  "More strict!"  I wouldn't do it.

A few women did want me to pinch or squeeze their nipples harder than I thought was safe.  I wouldn't do that either.

I will do a lot of stuff; but not anything that I think will be too painful or dangerous to the gal . . . even if they ask for it.

[Bee Farmer]

Others aggressively deny this, claiming that if woman agrees to have sex with a man during the first meeting(talking about the first meeting i mean not first day,but the whole first meeting in general,the terms vary).man will have negative opinion of her as abroad all decent women have a rule of 3 dates, meaning intimacy can be not earlier than 3 dates.
So, what REALLY men think as to this?

but what i was asking is if the evaluation of a woman in man's eyes suffer if this happens too soon?Considering the woman is regarded for serious.

I think it depends on the social class of the guy.  The responses guys have been sharing are the kind of responses you would receive from drunken customers in a topless bar. 

A low class guy will have little respect for himself, and little respect for a lady.  He will see nothing wrong with treating a woman as a sex object.  He is only interested in immediate satisfaction of his selfish urges.  if he can get sex on the first meeting, he will view the girl as a being cheaper than a prostitute.  he is just looking for an easy girl with loose morals.

A man of higher class will view a prostitute or a girl who has sex on the first meeting as being in similar social classes.  A respectable man will not have serious intentions for a girl of such low class. 

I find it interesting that no one has bothered to ask the most important question.  So far, men have talked about their own selfish desires, but no one has stopped to think about the woman's feelings.  How will a woman feel about herself if she has sex on the first meeting?  If a man is serious about a girl, he will respect how she feels.

Do you know what a sex tourist is?  Does a girl want to feel like she was just a moment of fun for a sex tourist?

The moral of this story is - please disclose any kind of personal preferences or religious beliefs you might have to the women you are chatting with as soon as it starts getting serious enough to the point where you are talking about visiting them. Your preferences may be unacceptable to some women so you can save yourself and a woman a lot of time and money by discussing these things before visiting and finding out how she feels.

It all depends on the context and how you talk about it. If you say to a woman something like: "You know, I really like you and I have lots of respect for you as a person. My intentions are serious and if we like each other when we meet I'd like to move forward toward a real relationship. But I feel that it's important that I share my views on premarital sex with you before I take any more of your valuable time."

Eduard, I agree with you completely.
When I was in my late 20's, I entertained the idea of finding a FSU wife.  I corresponded with a couple girls at separate times.  They were in the 22-24 year old age range.  I was respectful and told them that it was very important to me to know that she had not had many sexual partners, and asking her was the only way I had to find out since I do not know her personal reputation.
Olga from Berdyansk was still a virgin. Anna from Odessa had had sex with one guy during a relationship.  They did not share any more details and I did not ask.  I thanked them for their honesty in the next letter and said that I could tell they had serious intentions and left it at that.
Neither one stopped corresponding with me for bringing it up.  In both situations, it was later that we decided we were not the right one for each other for different reasons and had nothing to do with mentioning sexual history.
If it is important to you, don't be afraid to ask.  They will respect you for being honest with them.  They don't want a guy to lead them on if there is an important issue that is unacceptable to the guy.

[ML]

He is only interested in immediate satisfaction of his selfish urges.

Not me . . . I am interested  mostly in the woman's satisfaction.

A man of higher class will view a prostitute or a girl who has sex on the first meeting as being in similar social classes.  A respectable man will not have serious intentions for a girl of such low class. 

I am the highest class guy here.  And, as I  wrote, my view of a gal has nothing to do with how early she has sex with me.

I was respectful and told them that it was very important to me to know that she had not had many sexual partners, and asking her was the only way I had to find out since I do not know her personal reputation.

Yes, asking a woman (or man) is the sure way to find out how many sexual partners they have had.  You can take it to the bank.

Olga from Berdyansk was still a virgin. Anna from Odessa had had sex with one guy during a relationship. 

And the women who say they don't smoke or drink are telling the truth.  However wait;  now that I remember, there is a law requiring virginity in Berdyansk, so it's probably true for Olga.  But only if she never left the city limits.  So you have to ascertain travel history also.

Bee Farmer; I would like to do some business deals with you.

[Bee Farmer]

Next you are going to tell me you don't lie either.   

Because I don't believe a word you just wrote.  I can recognize condescending sarcasm.

Good Luck find a happy stable marriage - because you need all the luck you can get.

[Noch1]

Bee

If you think most women in the beginning of conversations, via e-mail and skype will tell you of their sexual past and experince and more important you believe it. Bet you believe when she tells you your, the best she ever had to

[Eduard]

Bee Farmer,
although I don't agree with ML's delivery of the message (mean and insensitive IMO) his message does have certain value. Seems to me like you bought into MOB agency hype and have unrealistic expectations in regard to FSU women. I doubt it very much that you were told the truth by the 2 girls you were chatting with but off course it's up to you whether you want to believe them or not. I think that it's good that you want to share your views on sex with the women early on so that no one is mislead and disappointed later. But you should know that finding a virgin in her 20s in Ukraine or Russia would be as difficult as winning a lottery. 
 

[Noch1]

Finding a virgin in most countries in their 20's would be like winning big on the lottery ( low odds)

I asked a FSU women once how many partners she had, she told me 8, I asked again 2 months later she told me 6, I asked again 4 months later and she told me 12 

Point is she couldn't remember what she told me, I doubt any of those numbers were real.
Oh and she was 31, so you figure out how many and let me know

[Shadow]

Finding a virgin in most countries in their 20's would be like winning big on the lottery ( low odds)

I asked a FSU women once how many partners she had, she told me 8, I asked again 2 months later she told me 6, I asked again 4 months later and she told me 12 

Point is she couldn't remember what she told me, I doubt any of those numbers were real.
Oh and she was 31, so you figure out how many and let me know

She told you the right answer every time. Problem was you never asked the time frame.

[Noch1]

She told you the right answer every time. Problem was you never asked the time frame.

Good point, next time we are talking I will ask.
We are friends now, so maybe she will tell the truth, LOL

[Belvis]

I corresponded with a couple girls at separate times.  They were in the 22-24 year old age range.  I was respectful and told them that it was very important to me to know that she had not had many sexual partners, and asking her was the only way I had to find out since I do not know her personal reputation.
Olga from Berdyansk was still a virgin. Anna from Odessa had had sex with one guy during a relationship. 

The situation resembles me the old russian joke:
Personages: Chapaev -  a hero from the Russian Civil War (1917-1923), commander in Red Army. Petka - his orderly.

Chapaev has visited England and broght back a bag full of British pounds. Petka asked him, how he managed to get so much money.  Chapaev's story:
- Well, once  I found myself in a very good company, all were respectable people. We had decided to play poker. I have on hands  a flush and another gamer said he has quads. OK, I said open your cards. He replied that they have the agreement between gentlemen to trust  words. And now I've got a lucky break.

[Chicagoguy]

I hinted one time to a Russian woman I was seriously dating about her sexual history. Her reply was "did I ask you yours ?" We left it at that.

[Faux Pas]

I hinted one time to a Russian woman I was seriously dating about her sexual history. Her reply was "did I ask you yours ?" We left it at that.

Any woman that asks for mine certainly isn't going to like the answer.  I would tell all to any woman that thought she did. I don't say that boasting or bragging, it's just reality. Many people, male and female have a lot of sexual history they will never reveal, much less admit to. Then there are the others who have little to no sexual history. It is my estimation that they are much fewer in number.

I think it is a fair question to ask a potential partner if there is anything in their sexual history that you should be aware of specifically, sans the details. Unprotected sex, bi-sexual or homosexual relationships would certainly fall into the category of history a potential partner should know.

[Noch1]

Any woman that asks for mine certainly isn't going to like the answer.  I would tell all to any woman that thought she did. I don't say that boasting or bragging, it's just reality. Many people, male and female have a lot of sexual history they will never reveal, much less admit to. Then there are the others who have little to no sexual history. It is my estimation that they are much fewer in number.

I think it is a fair question to ask a potential partner if there is anything in their sexual history that you should be aware of specifically, sans the details. Unprotected sex, bi-sexual or homosexual relationships would certainly fall into the category of history a potential partner should know.

 I tend to agree, asking this question is much different than trying to learn the amount of partners or who they had sex with. Questions of what and what you have done is different.

Most people are never going to tell all, Of course there is that rare person who has little to say.
they might lie and say they had more partners

[ML]

Most people are never going to tell all, Of course there is that rare person who has little to say.  they might lie and say they had more partners

Men yes; women unlikely.

= = = = = = = =

Once . . . and I can't remember for sure the beginning part of the conversation . . . I think  I was congratulating her on her excellent techniques and skills.

She said, well I have been with a lot of men.

I said, yes, I understand; a beautiful woman like you.

She reflected a moment on what she had just said (probably appalled at what  she had let slip;  or perhaps realizing that her idea of 'a lot' could be different than mine); and quickly added . . . well actually not that many.

I think  she really just wanted to puff up a bit, and brag about how many men had  been attracted to her; and not realized that this wasn't perhaps the best way to bring my attention to her sway over men.

[Eduard]

. . . I think  I was congratulating her on her excellent techniques and skills.

LOL, is that what you do?  Dear Natasha, please allow me to congratulate you on your excellent skills and techniques.... did you shake her hand and presented her with an award?
This is truly funny!