My new life with FSU woman

[goleta2sin]

I will share some of my experiences with my new FSU wife and child in hopes that it may be helpful for others to hear our experiences. I met my wife over a year ago while vacationing in Berlin so I have no agency experience. Nonetheless, after two trips to Ukraine I filed the K-1 last August and she arrived with my new five year-old daughter, Iryna on 1-19-06.

I am fortunate to own a large home in Nevada that was basically family ready so before they arrived I made changes to make my home inviting to a five year old. I created a princess bedroom, a Finding Nemo bathroom, amd a playroom. I also purchased a trampoline so that she would feel that I was expecting her and that this is HER home. She did love her new surroundings and this helped us bond as a family. Iryna started Kindergarten one week after her arrival and has embraced the challenge of learning a new language and culture with exuberance and optimism. I can honestly say that after two months, I have not one complaint about this ukrainian angel. I am so fortunate to have opportunity to have Iryna as my step-daughter. I must say that this is a great age for a child to make such a huge transition. I have been so lucky, because , of course, I think I have the best step-daughter in the world.

My wife is 30 years old and was a university trained accountant in Ukraine. The transition has not been so smooth for her, but I am content with her progress thus far. Fortunately, her English skills are quite good. She was an independent professional woman in Ukraine so being unable to work currently has posed psychological challenges. My hope before she arrived was that she become completely autonomous as rapidly as possible and she is making great strides in that area. As soon as she arrived we married and then applied for EAD/AOS. She acquired her ss# and driver license within the forst month as well. Most importantly, she has established many relationships with AW and FSU women. I think this is essential that she feel she has her own social network completely outside our relationship. She will receive her 1 year EAD next week and she has found many job opportunities on her own that she can explore. I am actually surprised how quickly she has been able to adjust and create her own life. I feel this has been easy for her because she is intelligent and also not wafraid of new situations and challenges.

The biggest adjustment for us a couple is lifestyle. I am a fitness zealot which emcompasses my entire existence. She was well-aware of the role health and fitness plays in my life, yet her immersion in this has not been easy. She has no problem going to the gym 6 days a week, but the Ukrainian diet is not completely congruent with a health and fitness lifestyle. I have to remind myself to be patient in this area. In fact, I do not lecture or preach about diet, rather I just try to show her by example which, I believe is most effective. I think she goes to the gym habitually because she sees that I am passionate about the gym based on my actions. I am happy that as a couple we are begining to share fitness as a lifestyle.

I do not want to be a pollyanna and say that all has been perfect, beacuse we have our heated arguments. It is ironic, the better her English the wider range of issues you can find to fight over. I do not want to speak for all FSU women, but my wife is focused on our family and it is clear that this is her utmost priority. She thinks of Iryna and myself first and I am very happy with the family life that we have established. I do think it is essential that if you are involved with a FSU woman with a child that you truly embrace this new addition to your life. My new child has bonded with me and I appreciate the great responsibility that I now own. My relationship and my life is about both of them. I believe I have been so lucly to have my situatuion, inspite of the various challenges. I do not regret my decision at all. I love what I have gained. I have a beautiful wife and child and they have become the most important aspects of my life. Thus, inspite of the hardships in getting to this point, it has been worth it.

[tim 360]

Sounds great.  I am sure you and your new family will do well.  Foods, diet?  Well,  we all have to bend a little in the breeze.  And seems like you have a warm breeze to bend in.   And yes,  child and husband should be her #1 priority for a good Ukrainian girl.   You are a lucky man.   Thank you for posting, Cheerio, Tim

[KenC]

It is very nice to hear from a guy with his head on straight.  You have a great outlook and a beautiful family.  Best of luck to you in the future.

KenC

[Jet]

Congradulations

I absolutely agree with you about 5 being th perfect age for transition to a new culture. Niko was also 5 upon his arrival to the US and has adapted beautifully. Your wife seems to have the same drive and tenacity that will insure her success both inside and outside the family here. The road will have some more bumps for sure, but you seem to have a great handle on it .

Good luck to the three of you!

[jb]

A very lovely family, an absolutely beautiful child.

[BC]

goleta,

Welcome to the board.

Really nice family, congrats.

Your statement:

It is ironic, the better her English [gets] the wider range of issues you can find to fight over.

is a real gem.. almost tablet material.

[tm33398]

good luck to you and your wife and child. it is definitely an adjustment and my wife is still getting used to living here. I am sort of a fitness nit too, but my wife wants healthy lifestyle too, its just that she does not know healthy ways for her to eat that she might like. The food tastes are defintely an adjustment, and most of all, finding her place in our society and everything is a challenge to her and to me!

tm33398

[Captmonk1]

Get a haircut and you will look like that guy from the first Terminator movie. Same guy was in Aliens. I forget his name. Good bit part actor. 

Great looking family!

Brad

[dwfunk]

. . . but the Ukrainian diet is not completely congruent with a health and fitness lifestyle.

I don't get it.  If the Russian or Ukrainian diets were so "unhealthy" then why are they so slender and beautiful??  I have yet to see any thing remotely like the fat cows I see flopping down USA streets over there.

As to them gaining weight on the "same" diet over here, it ain't the same diet.  All of our foods are processed and as such have been severely adulterated.

Raw foods, prepared yourself, best way to go.
--
David & Natalia
Republic of Texas/Moscow, Russia
http://www.davidandnataliafunk.org/
http://www.russianwomanwiki.net/

.

[Goombah]

Exercise has a LOT to do with it.  Over there, walking is common.  Here people drive to opposite sides of the mall...  Seriously.  Side walks here are an afterthought or "feature" of a sub-division.  Mine is road-locked - there is no safe way to leave the sub-division on foot.  The roads leading to the sub-division have no shoulders, no walkways, and people are pissed if you they have to slow down to share the road with anyone that dares walk on their edges.

Kevin

[moloko]

[David1963]

. . . but the Ukrainian diet is not completely congruent with a health and fitness lifestyle.

I don't get it.  If the Russian or Ukrainian diets were so "unhealthy" then why are they so slender and beautiful??  I have yet to see any thing remotely like the fat cows I see flopping down USA streets over there.

As to them gaining weight on the "same" diet over here, it ain't the same diet.  All of our foods are processed and as such have been severely adulterated.

Raw foods, prepared yourself, best way to go.
--
David & Natalia
Republic of Texas/Moscow, Russia
http://www.davidandnataliafunk.org/
http://www.russianwomanwiki.net/

.

[/quote]
They are so thin because they can not afford the quantity of food that we can here.  Potatoes and mayonaise is not a healthy diet, not in the quantity that they eat. 

That is just like us eating at McDonalds everyday.  If she parks her but on the sofa and drives everywhere she will just like an AW no different.  There is no different RW gene or anything.

I agree that processed foods contribute to making you fat, it is your choice to eat them or not.  They don't have them in the quantiites that we do here and they couldn't afford them like we can so they don't eat them.  If they had them adn could afford them they would eat them as we do.

 

[Wild Orchid*]

[user=681]David1963[/user] wrote:

They are so thin because they can not afford the quantity of food that we can here.  Potatoes and mayonaise is not a healthy diet, not in the quantity that they eat. 

For the umpteen time, please don't say THEY, just say SHE and you'll be right, otherwise... We are not like your wife, we all are different.

[KenC]

[user=807]Wild Orchid*[/user] wrote:

[user=681]David1963[/user] wrote:

They are so thin because they can not afford the quantity of food that we can here.  Potatoes and mayonaise is not a healthy diet, not in the quantity that they eat. 

For the umpteen time, please don't say THEY, just say SHE and you'll be right, otherwise... We are not like your wife, we all are different.

Good point Orchid,

My wife never lacked food in her life because of money problems.  In fact, she was kind of forced fed by her Babushka for a time and became a chubby little girl.  It was only through her own determination that she slimmed down.  Yes, there is a lot to be said about how natural foods are more healthy for you, and that Russians walk a tremendous amount compared to us, but in her case, I give her all the credit for having the self control to regulate her own body.  She has now lived here for over seven years and still maintains a perfect figure.  I marvel at the control she has over her body.  If she were to gain a few pounds, she ups her exercise routine and cuts back her intake until they disappear.  She looks like she does because she has the self control to look that way not because of some cultural or economical difference.

However, I do think there is a cultural difference in how Russians/Americans observe overweight people.  Here we are nice and PC and accept that people are overweight.  Russians are usually more blunt about the issue.  They tell it like it is.  Even the to the point of asking someone how come they are so fat?  Being fat in Russia is a lot less acceptable than it is here.  Especially for the women.  If it is difficult for a good looking woman to find a mate in Russia, what are the odds for a fat chick?

KenC

[BC]

Actually the food issue was the first of my misconceptions blown out the window during my first trip.

Between freezer and cellar I have never seen so much food stocked for a family.  Most of it bought/processed/stored at home.  A lot of healthy veggies straight from the dacha.

Every bit tasty, of quality and fullfilling quantity.. and yes we walked most of it off. Blisters were the only side effects.

We're not talking wealthy folks and I am absolutely amazed what a little planning and elbow grease can add up to. 

If I were stranded on a remote island alone I would not survive.. with my inlaws it would probably be paradise..

[dwfunk]

[user=681]David1963[/user] wrote:

They are so thin because they can not afford the quantity of food that we can here.  Potatoes and mayonaise is not a healthy diet, not in the quantity that they eat.

uhh, I can't believe you actually said that.  Have you ever been there?  I have never seen so much food served nor have I seen so much food stored since the bomb shelter days.  Oh, yes, and this is all fresh foods, canned and preserved as well.  And the harvest my in-laws are getting from the garden at the dacha is unbelievable.

It's my generation and down that are having the health issues.  My parents, grandparents, the rest of all my older relatives are in their late 80's up through the late 90's.  They eat potatoes, potatoes and gravy, red beef, raw milk, eggs, cheese, home made mayonnaise, and non of them are dying from strokes, heart attacks, or diabetes.  It ain't the taters that are bad for ya . . .



--
David & Natalia
Republic of Texas/Moscow, Russia
http://www.davidandnataliafunk.org/
http://www.russianwomanwiki.net/

.

[PeeWee]

They are so thin because they can not afford the quantity of food that we can here.  Potatoes and mayonaise is not a healthy diet, not in the quantity that they eat.

uhh, I can't believe you actually said that.  Have you ever been there?  I have never seen so much food served nor have I seen so much food stored since the bomb shelter days.  Oh, yes, and this is all fresh foods, canned and preserved as well.  And the harvest my in-laws are getting from the garden at the dacha is unbelievable.

It's my generation and down that are having the health issues.  My parents, grandparents, the rest of all my older relatives are in their late 80's up through the late 90's.  They eat potatoes, potatoes and gravy, red beef, raw milk, eggs, cheese, home made mayonnaise, and non of them are dying from strokes, heart attacks, or diabetes.  It ain't the taters that are bad for ya . . .



--
David & Natalia
Republic of Texas/Moscow, Russia
http://www.davidandnataliafunk.org/
http://www.russianwomanwiki.net/

.

[/quote]
I don't like Eastern European food so they can have my share. I had read somewhere within the past two weeks that 60% of all Americans are over weight. Our fast food soceity is causing us to be  unhealthy and my first finger points squarely that redheaded geeky clown...that would be Ronald McDonald.

Peewee  

[BC]

I recently visited a friend who has lost a great amount of weight.  He was describing the method his doctor prescribed.. little red meat, lots of fish, veggies and fruit, limited alcohol consumption and at least 30 mins of excercise three times a week(even brisk walking ok)... then the grand finale: 

EAT 5 TIMES A DAY!.. now where had I heard that one before? - my skinny wife!

I think in general the huge problem is not so much what you eat but 'binge' type eating instead of smaller, more frequent meals.  Feeding your body what it needs as it needs instead of making the body store energy for the long haul.

Regime.. a 'foreign' word often heard around here..

[Bruno]

I recently visited a friend who has lost a great amount of weight.  He was describing the method his doctor prescribed.. little red meat, lots of fish, veggies and fruit, limited alcohol consumption and at least 30 mins of excercise three times a week(even brisk walking ok)... then the grand finale: 

EAT 5 TIMES A DAY!.. now where had I heard that one before? - my skinny wife!

Not sure that food have something to make with weight... when i have meet my wife, i was a little over 100 kg... one year after, i was 20 lighter... after the divorce, i have win again the 20 kg...

Since i was cooking, nothing was changed about food... but my lifestyle was changed... finish the long sitting in cafe with beer, eating pizza or hamburger... replace by long walking in park, take care of child ( gaming with them ask a lot of energy ), daily sport ( in bedroom )... in short, i have change from a passive life to a active one...

So, if you wish loose weight, marry a russian women...

PS: About skinny wife, my ex-wife was 43 kg... she can eat chip, chocolate and candy in big quantity but she have win maybe 500 gr in 5 year...

[BC]

Bruno,

Hate to disagree but this guy has put on 10kg since being married to a RW.

OTOH I am not following wife's suggestion of eating 5 times a day.. LOL

[Bruno]

Bruno, Hate to disagree but this guy has put on 10kg since being married to a RW.

I was speaking of my case... and i was overweight before be married... for some, they go say that 80 kg is to much too, specialy for my short height ( 1m76 )... but during marriage, my kilo have move from the stomach to the trunk, from fat to muscle...

Your 10kg are nothing if they are good placed and from the right material

[BC]

Wishful thinking Bruno.. wrong material, wrong area :?


         

[PeeWee]

I recently visited a friend who has lost a great amount of weight.  He was describing the method his doctor prescribed.. little red meat, lots of fish, veggies and fruit, limited alcohol consumption and at least 30 mins of excercise three times a week(even brisk walking ok)... then the grand finale: 

EAT 5 TIMES A DAY!.. now where had I heard that one before? - my skinny wife!

I think in general the huge problem is not so much what you eat but 'binge' type eating instead of smaller, more frequent meals.  Feeding your body what it needs as it needs instead of making the body store energy for the long haul.

Regime.. a 'foreign' word often heard around here..

Yes, once again, I had read that the human body was actually designed to eat smaller amounts of food more often. We have modified our consumtion down from 5 small amounts to two or 3 large amounts. Other than humans and reptiles most other animals eat constantly through out their waking hours. It makes sense to me. Our stomach is elastic but it has its normal capacity. By adding extra food we stretch its limits and by doing this over a prolonged period of time we get the big belly and add stored fat. Blend in to that a setimentary life style and you got overweight.

Peewee

[Michelangelo]

All true.  You can read why in the Jorge Cruise book THE THREE HOUR DIET.  I lost 20 pounds doing this program, which has you eat small meals every 3 hours all day long.

[Michelangelo]

Wishful thinking Bruno.. wrong material, wrong area :?

Actually, BC, adding 10 kg of muscle is EXACTLY what you need to do to lower your body fat and lose weight.  See BODY FOR LIFE book for how to do this...