New and ready for the grand adventure!

[Baffin]

Hi all!

I've been lurking around for a little while but only decided to jump in the action now. Actually, I've got a new work schedule that will allow me to have plenty of free time this year, so I decided to tempt my luck and try to find my second half. And as I always had a thing for the east-european charms, I think I'm at the right address.

[calmissile]

Hi all!

I've been lurking around for a little while but only decided to jump in the action now. Actually, I've got a new work schedule that will allow me to have plenty of free time this year, so I decided to tempt my luck and try to find my second half. And as I always had a thing for the east-european charms, I think I'm at the right address.

Welcome to the forum.  Yes, you found the right address.  LOL
Now you will be immersed in doing a lot of reading and research.

Good luck and no reason to rush anything before you are prepared.

[Eduard]

Welcome!

[cc3]

Welcome, Baffin!

Where are you from and have you begun communicating with likely second half prospects?

[Brillynt]

 

There is plenty of good information here, read and enjoy the journey.

[I/O]

I always had a thing for the east-european charms

They exist? 

[jone]

They exist? 

Oh, you are SO busted!

[Shadow]

Welcome, and I think you have found the lists by now.
If you are serious, it is time to prepare yourself for the near future.
Be sure your passport is valid (get one if you have not yet), and prepare whatever you need to apply for visa should the destination need it.

Now look in the mirror and make a picture. Then look at the picture, and understand that is how others see you. Do not worry, you have to be looking slightly better as a monkey to find someone, but it helps to be realistic.

Determine what kind of a person you are. Sure while making the first contact there is nothing wrong with writing as many women as possible, after all you need a selection of a few to get better contact with.
But if you are used to devoting all your time to one woman only, do not try to become a player. It will not work as your emotions are going to get in your way.

Want to have a great example of a one-woman man visiting with a backup plan working out? Read the trip report of Lonedrake. And notice that for him too emotions got mixed up.

Now you got that done, time to start making contact. Try to remind yourself frequently that even if you write daily, or even better are on Skype daily, a real-life meeting is going to decide and until that time you have to be ready for things turning cold. Keep some emotional distance, consider it having fun but do not get engaged in your mind.

Within 3 months after having found someone you have a 'click' with take the trip to visit her (and the others in a VM case). And do not consider the trip a vacation. Your object is not to see the sights, but to form an idea of her personality and life.

Do take the time to know where you are visiting and find places of interest you may want to see if asked for plans. Do not make a rigid program but let her arrange things other than where you will stay and how you travel from and to the airport. If she asks you to meet friends, agree. If she asks you to meet family, agree. The more she lets you in to her life, the more she is in to you.
If meetings with friends that are planned suddenly get canceled, it might be her not having interest. If you feel there is no chemistry, do not hesitate to take charge and tell her, even if you would find her a great wife.

If the first trip does not work out, do not give up. If it would work out you would need to make trips the rest of your life, so what is the difference. Continue to make contact and visit until you got what you wanted.

While you are doing this, also consider your life. Remember you will have to take care for someone with limited language skills and undetermined job skills. While she may wish to get a job, it should not be required of her. Your personal sitution should allow to care for a family without her contribution.

I hope to have given you some food for thought you may not find in the general lists, and wish you good luck.

[I/O]

Oh, you are SO busted!

Trust me on this, more than a decade of visiting Russia and surrounds now and more than half of that time married to one - 'charm' is not a word I find synonymous with Russians or most other Eastern Europeans.

[cc3]

Trust me on this, more than a decade of visiting Russia and surrounds now and more than half of that time married to one - 'charm' is not a word I find synonymous with Russians or most other Eastern Europeans.

Life in UA can be rather brutish, however , just like anywhere, there are wonderful people, with civilized and gentle hearts living in UA...my fiancee is one of them. She has more charm in her little fingernail than the AW with whom I have had relationships have in their entire beings; her friends, as well, are charming and considerate. Can't speak of Russia; haven't been. Can speak of Eastern Europe, having lived as a semi-resident for a year in Bulgaria...the edges of the inhabitants there are much softer than of FSU inhabitants. If I had to choose, I would much prefer to live in BG rather than UA.

[GQBlues]

...And as I always had a thing for the east-european charms,....

Welcome Baffin! What/which exactly are the *east-european charms* that you always had a *thing* with? Please tell...

Trust me on this, more than a decade of visiting Russia and surrounds now and more than half of that time married to one - 'charm' is not a word I find synonymous with Russians or most other Eastern Europeans.

Concur. Hence, curiously mystified with Baffin's experiences so far.

[jone]

Welcome, and I think you have found the lists by now.
If you are serious, it is time to prepare yourself for the near future.
Be sure your passport is valid (get one if you have not yet), and prepare whatever you need to apply for visa should the destination need it.

Now look in the mirror and make a picture. Then look at the picture, and understand that is how others see you. Do not worry, you have to be looking slightly better as a monkey to find someone, but it helps to be realistic.

Determine what kind of a person you are. Sure while making the first contact there is nothing wrong with writing as many women as possible, after all you need a selection of a few to get better contact with.
But if you are used to devoting all your time to one woman only, do not try to become a player. It will not work as your emotions are going to get in your way.

Want to have a great example of a one-woman man visiting with a backup plan working out? Read the trip report of Lonedrake. And notice that for him too emotions got mixed up.

Now you got that done, time to start making contact. Try to remind yourself frequently that even if you write daily, or even better are on Skype daily, a real-life meeting is going to decide and until that time you have to be ready for things turning cold. Keep some emotional distance, consider it having fun but do not get engaged in your mind.

Within 3 months after having found someone you have a 'click' with take the trip to visit her (and the others in a VM case). And do not consider the trip a vacation. Your object is not to see the sights, but to form an idea of her personality and life.

Do take the time to know where you are visiting and find places of interest you may want to see if asked for plans. Do not make a rigid program but let her arrange things other than where you will stay and how you travel from and to the airport. If she asks you to meet friends, agree. If she asks you to meet family, agree. The more she lets you in to her life, the more she is in to you.
If meetings with friends that are planned suddenly get canceled, it might be her not having interest. If you feel there is no chemistry, do not hesitate to take charge and tell her, even if you would find her a great wife.

If the first trip does not work out, do not give up. If it would work out you would need to make trips the rest of your life, so what is the difference. Continue to make contact and visit until you got what you wanted.

While you are doing this, also consider your life. Remember you will have to take care for someone with limited language skills and undetermined job skills. While she may wish to get a job, it should not be required of her. Your personal sitution should allow to care for a family without her contribution.

I hope to have given you some food for thought you may not find in the general lists, and wish you good luck.

I agree with all Shadow has said.  (He is a wise man.  Almost like Yoda.  With glasses.)

But I would add a couple of easy items to take care of while you are in your country:

1.  Learn the Cyrillic characters.  This can be fun.  Use the website www.masterrussian.com.

It has a neat little quiz on there that will make you repeat your letters until you get them in order.  If you know what they are and what sounds are associated, it will take you a long way to understanding signs, which can help you in-country.

2.  Biki has a basic language course that you can download for free off of the web.  It will give you basic knowledge of verbs and nouns.  No, it will not teach you to speak the language.  That requires both interaction and months to years of experience.  But knowing 100-200 words may get some basic communication done if you are  needing it.  Moreover, if you have at least tried to learn, you future squeeze will be appreciative.

3.  Shadow has said many things, but when he said that this is not a vacation, he didn't mean that you  shouldn't enjoy yourself.  Have fun.  This is about the great adventure.  Even if you don't find your wife, you should still have a great time.

That's my three cents worth.

Welcome aboard.

-j

[GQBlues]

Blasphemy!

Yoda wouldn't dream of going to a 3rd world planet in a galaxy far, far away and boink/marry women the likes of, and as young as, Padme Abigale or Princess Leia of Organa.

Nope no siree Bob!

[jone]

Blasphemy!

Yoda wouldn't dream of going to a 3rd world planet in a galaxy far, far away and boink/marry women the likes of, and as young as, Padme Abigale or Princess Leia of Organa.

Nope no siree Bob!

What do you think he was doing on Dagoba?  He had hurried off there because at 800 he was looking for a 200 year old Dagoba slave girl.  It never said where Yoda really came from.  He was 'species unknown' in the Star Wars lexicon.  I really think he came from the Netherlands.

[GQBlues]

No no no....

 This is the MOB. The galactic character reference you had in mind, in parallel dimensions - and no pun intended - is Jabba the Hut. He even had the hits for young Prncess Leia.

[Baffin]

Thanks for the welcome all. I didn't expect 14 replies   

I started to lurk here a while ago, so I probably already read a third of the board so far. 

I/O: if you don't know, what are you doing here then? 

It's kinda hard to explain. But long story short: Some of the best girls in my life (either GF or just plain friends) happened to be east-europeans (either meet here or online, never been to FSU tho). Not that I love all FSUW or that I dislike AW, it just seem to happen that there's proportionnally more girls that are to my tastes among FSUW than here lol (and I'm picky  ). As I said, hard to explain tastes 

I didn't decide yesterday like that to be here. I put a lot of thoughts into my decision. I have the opportunity now and will try my chance.

I wouldn't call myself a seasoned traveller, but I did a few trips on different continents. My passport is all ready to go.  And with my awesome work schedule, I can go anywhere on a really short notice. 

Also, years ago, I knew some russian, but looks like I forgot most of it now It's already in my plan to re-learn it again.

It certainly won't be easy and the outcome might be unexpected, but if I do my homework seriously, I think the rewards of this adventure can be worth it. 

[Daveman]

As I've stated before, this is all about risk management.  Even with sincere ladies. The risk -- not counting time and money, is that most communication, meetings, dates, or months of skype conversations will not lead to a relationship and any relationship you develop will most likely not lead to marriage.  There are some things which can increase your risk not surviving to marriage such as language barrier and age gap. 


Keep your wits about you and be patient.  It also takes a bit of luck (right place, right time, etc) to meet a very compatible woman.  Don't merely settle for the hot babe.



I still think even doing all the 'right things' it boils down to:


1) get lucky
2) don't give up until you get lucky..   




Good luck and welcome to the Asylum...

[ML]

Keep your wits about you . . .

Doesn't sound like much fun!! 

[I/O]

I/O: if you don't know, what are you doing here then?

Grasshopper, there is a big difference between perky tits, long legs, cute arse etc and charm. Russians and their surrounding neighbours aren't famous for being 'charming' - sure, they too can piss in the pocket of a newcomer just as the next nationality can but.............go there sometime and you'll understand.
 
As an example, go into a decent shoe shop, try 3 or 4 pairs and decide to walk out without buying, the local 'charm' will be on display. Oddly, it's only slightly better if you do actually buy.

[calmissile]

Grasshopper, there is a big difference between perky tits, long legs, cute arse etc and charm. Russians and their surrounding neighbours aren't famous for being 'charming' - sure, they too can piss in the pocket of a newcomer just as the next nationality can but.............go there sometime and you'll understand.
 
As an example, go into a decent shoe shop, try 3 or 4 pairs and deicde to walk out without buying, the local 'charm' will be on display. Oddly, it's only slightly better if you do actually buy.

LOL    Your right, you have to go there and deal with the merchants before you understand the lack of charm while waiting on you.  However, at least trying to leave without buying can often result in instant price reductions particularily in the small independent shops.

[calmissile]

Grasshopper, there is a big difference between perky tits, long legs, cute arse etc and charm. Russians and their surrounding neighbours aren't famous for being 'charming' - sure, they too can piss in the pocket of a newcomer just as the next nationality can but.............go there sometime and you'll understand.
 
As an example, go into a decent shoe shop, try 3 or 4 pairs and decide to walk out without buying, the local 'charm' will be on display. Oddly, it's only slightly better if you do actually buy.

This is such a great line, I just had to repeat it.   LOL

[Baffin]

I don't idealize russian people of course. I know they can be harsh, rude, direct, stubborn blah blah blah. But I'm not looking to marry the whole russian population!  :p I'm looking for someone I get chemistry with and with qualities I enjoy and default I can live with. If I meet that special sweetheart here, so be it, but if you had some russian sexiness, then you get a happier camper. 

[JayH]

They exist? 

I was going to say you have been married to long !! 

[CanadaMan]

I was going to say you have been married to long !! 

I'll take it you meant to say:

"I was going to say you have been married to Miss long legs !!

rather than

"I was going to say you have been married too long !!"    right?   

[jazztropy]

Nice save