What is an MOB'er?

[calmissile]

Actually, I am an MOH  ...Mail Order Husband. My fiancee initiated contact on one of the more up and up PPL sites. We wrote intensely, frequently; we met; we fell in love; we will marry in UA and I will take up residence with her and my future stepdaughter in Luhansk, until she completes her final university studies. 

A great love story.  Keep us informed.

[lonedrake]

[Mind sharing who the sots are?/quote]


Yes!

[Muzh]

Mind sharing who the sots are?/quote]

Yes!

So if you mind, then why make such comment?

[lonedrake]

So if you mind, then why make such comment?

         

[Ade]

So if you mind, then why make such comment?

There are some very bizarre men on these here boards Muzh.

[Muzh]

There are some very bizarre men on these here boards Muzh.

Indeed. It is as if they unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension -a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. They move into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. They've crossed over into the Twilight Zone.

[Jumper]

What a thread.. lol
 

1. Returns to the FSU seeking another wife if the first marriage fails.

Yeap check!
I'm tryig to figure out if after my first wife passed away, since she was Irish, would I have been a MOBer to marry another Irish lass though? or only if i concentrated primarly on Irish lassies?

2. Believes FSUW are the cat's meow.
personal cats meow?
Some are! some arnt! just like every nationality or individual

3. Claims all AW are fat.
Nope.A lot of attractive AW..

4. Feels threatened by a woman's personal success and aspiration for personal growth.
Hardly, I find that appealing, and would encourage it in everyway.
 
5. Falls in love with a woman's photos before meeting her.
No.

6. Sends hundreds/thousands of dollars to a woman he just met.
Nope.

7. Considers a foreign woman his GF after meeting just once.
Nope, but you'd have to truly  define *meeting*, and the scenareo?
If they had been corresponding a long time and had a multi  month *meeting*,both decided they were in a mutually exclusive relationship.. it would seemingly define umm girlfriend.She would certianly think so?
 

8. Thinks women sign up at marriage agencies to marry them specifically.
 
No

9. Believes it's not necessary to lay all his cards on the table, when dating.
I'm confident enough to know I can lay it all out there.
Win some ,lose some, their choice.
The flip of that is I had  nothing to hide, I was looking,
found someone i felt worthy going on a date with, and went to see her for one date, if it progeressed great, if it dint .It dint. Whats to hide?

10. Spends years and thousands of dollars traveling to MOB regions searching for a wife.
Hmm, interesting..I never searched long.Not sure I would have, something else would likely catch my attention.
That wouldn't make me superior, just ADD.
 
11. Is more interested in 'what she is' rather than 'who she is'.
umm no, who she is, is all of it.
 

12. Hides how he and his wife met, when asked by someone.

Not on my part,if she's uncomfortable in some specific situations with it, i'd respect that.

13. Believes that a MOB's/MOB hunting is all that matters in life.
Heaven's no.
 
14. Kisses his wife's ass and expects her to return the favor.
again interesting.. I think couples that care for each other deeply, a certain amont of reciprocal ass kissing is a bit natural,yet not expected by either party.
 

15. Flashes his money around during courtship because he has nothing else to offer the woman.
That would be a challenge i'm not up to.
 

16. Goes to the FSU with one aim in mind, 'find a wife' and tells this to each woman he meets.
The wife subject wouldnt come up until a serious continuing  relationship had developed.
 

17. Was dishonest to the women he met in the FSU, doing whatever was necessary to 'check out the goods' while abroad.
Wait,  wasnt this covered in number 9? i get easily confused in these Cosmo style polls.


18. Encouraged women to be just as dishonest as he was.
no.
but I dint expect them to be living in a vacuum either!!
They hopefully were well adjusted and had active social lives, if single and dating then if i fit in their dance schedule ,and they in mine, well..cool.we'd see where it led.

19. Believes that his wife paid the ultimate sacrifice by deciding to marry him (leaving country, family, friends, job etc. etc.)
YES!!!!!! lol if she can tolerate me for more than a month, thats aproaching sainthood and cdertainly self sacrificial.
 
Ok, in more seriosness, I'd think each case a bit different.

So if one ,and done , then i'm a MOB'er!!
and of coure i am !
 I got on a plane ,met a women in a foriegn country
,one known for the dreadful MOB, 
and eventually married her.
 
The key isnt about intial attitudes ,intent,  perspectuive, or any of the stuff being bantered about here..
 
If the seedy industry dint exist, I would have been very unlikely to have met my wife, despite my years traveling and living in many countries,or any disclaimers i may have in my initial search attitude, my openess to other nationalities etc..
 
That's it, that's the definition.
Would you , or would you not have met your spouse ,
if the MOB industry(and those socio- economic drivers that inspried it)  had never existed in the FSU?
 
game over, not one  disclaimer matters.
 
This same case is true for most all of you who are married (men), or for your husbands (women)
 
With only one or two notable exceptions?
 
Sorry all this slice and dicing of the topic amuses me to no end.Always has.
 Lets cut to the chase after pages and pages?
 
Please list the usernames of men here who arnt MOBers.
That list, would seem to most easily  define the term in a form we could all relate to?
 
Step up gents who think you arnt!!
Or wives who think your husband wasnt.
 
Beo, you can't play!! 
 
The MOB'ers? well  state that clearly as well, disclaimers do not apply.Just like you  cant be sort of pregnant
 
 

[CanadaMan]

There are some very bizarre men on these here boards Muzh.

Oh?

Mind sharing who these men are?

[AnonMod]

Or don't.

[CanadaMan]

  Please list the usernames of men here who arnt MOBers.
That list, would seem to most easily  define the term in a form we could all relate to?
 
Step up gents who think you arnt!!
Or wives who think your husband wasnt.
 

So far, GQ has been the only one here who claimed he isn't a MOBer (a typical one that is).

[Ade]

Oh?

Mind sharing who these men are?

Well, I tried and it was removed. It's not my fault the sensibilities of the forum don't extend to naming and shaming. But one thing I'm not is deliberately passive aggressive unless the forum forces me to be so.

[Ade]

So far, GQ has been the only one here who claimed he isn't a MOBer (a typical one that is).

I thought it was fairly damn obvious that I'm not.

[CanadaMan]

Well, I tried and it was removed.
 

My post was completely tongue in cheek. 
I was just completing the circle started by Muzh:

Oh?

Mind sharing who the sots are?

[Mind sharing who the sots are?/quote]

Yes!

So if you mind, then why make such comment?

There are some very bizarre men on these here boards Muzh.

Oh?

Mind sharing who these men are?

[Jumper]

So far, GQ has been the only one here who claimed he isn't a MOBer (a typical one that is).

I agree, and why i find any fuss amusing..
 
 
and actually,  I did not see GQ claim that.
 
 
He went to the FSU, not to Germany, not to France, not to Canada.
He took a trip, with pre-scheduled meetings with many in Moscow and attending from other cities.Just like many before or since.
 

[CanadaMan]

I agree, and why i find any fuss amusing..
 
and actually,  I did not see GQ claim that.
 

How about this in the second post:

So, aside from being so darn sexy, let me count other ways I KNOW I'm not a typical MOBer.....

He went to the FSU, not to Germany, not to France, not to Canada.
He took a trip, with pre-scheduled meetings with many in Moscow and attending from other cities.Just like many before or since.

I agree, sounds like a typical MOB'er to me.
But GQ has different views about this.   

[Boethius]

He posted he is not your average/typical MOB'r.

[Gator]

 

There are some very bizarre men on these here boards Muzh

Indeed.....They've crossed over into the Twilight Zone.

 
Maybe.  Bizarre is not a "black and white" term.  My impression is that most of us are somewhere along the bizarre continuum.   In fact, I have always been attracted to the bizarre, as someone who marches to a different drum.
 
What do I dislike?  I have mentioned the sanctimonious and the arrogant.  However, this thread brought out a guttersnipe and one from the MSU college.  MSU does not stand for Michigan State University nor even Mississippi State U.  It is an acronym for "Make Shit Up."   I question the ethics of MSU people.

[Jumper]

I thought it was fairly damn obvious that I'm not.

Yet it depends on ones difinition wouldn't it?
So not in your mind, and you understandably  like to distance yourself,and  you can.
 
For my difinition you are perhaps an  outlier,sure!
but odds are still great if the drivers behind the MOB industry, and if the MOB industry had never existed,  your wife would have been far less likely to be contacting  a foregn man on an international dating website.
You might not have been looking, she was.You met a foreign women from the FSU online and met and married her.
Then all the most typical  disclaimers are started, you wernt even looking, she wasn't really looking for a foregner etc.
But she knew you were when she wrote ..
so  you'll counter if she was from France it wouldnt apply right?
 
Ade i've always valued your insight and advice..
and understood the natural  distancing ..
but I've equally never understood the disdain or interest here,
 if its all *so* bad to be even slightly associated with.
 
I don't know everyones story or motivations,
 its doubtful anyone here does.
 
Those who met thru work,or country of residence
at the time. seem the candidates for non MOB label.
but thats my difinition.
 
BC
jb
Beo
 some outliers like you would be there as well
 
feel better?
you do,and to me that's the weird part.
 
 I don't feel the least bit odd or guilty,  or any less of a person because i happened to email,chat .call  and then meet my wife because the MOB industry existed or the underlying economic factors that drive it. I know quite well she wouyldnt have met me if they did not exist.
Still, I sleep well at night, my ethics and morals intact.
You can ask her if her situation was taken advantage of..expoitive, or if she feels i'm a SRM from my life choices,
because isnt that what this debate boils down to?
 
Whether we are going to define MOB as guys who did this because they chose to, or did because they had to?
 
Then leave out that the KEY point, that the women likely wouldnt be invoved at all with either man, if the economics dint drive the MOB industry to exist.
 
Why do we all keep side stepping the actual point?
 
 
I'm not thrilled the world has various ecomomic and cultural drivers that make many ,women in particular, more prone to look for more equal footing than where they reside.
isnt that a huge factor that defines MOB?
 
but I'm certainly not going to apologize for something I did not create,and have no ability to change.Nor will I apologize for utilizing easily available resources,like dating sites and email,  to look in multiple countries,my own and others. 
 
Is this going to come down to defining who was knowingly taking advantage of ecomomic disparity?
Nefarious ,or sincere, intentions actually  apply in such cases?
Or only when the ecomomic disparity isnt great enough?
Sliding scale anyone?
Pretty slippery slope.
 

[Jumper]

He posted he is not your average/typical MOB'r.

I'm sorry Beo,
 but the term
 Average Mail Order Brider,,just cracks most anyone up!
no?
So some people  somehow feel better to be called
not your average mail order brider?
 
I can see it,  right up until you peel the onion.
 
Above average Mail Order Brider!!
 

 
 
<< For the record, i'd like my hero member status
changed to reflect  *slightly above average MOBer*
 
Unless a poll is taken and shows i'm a bit below average, and i could live with that designation too.
 
 

 
 

[Saltheart]

I'm not sure I fit any of the specific criteria on GQ's list yet I consider myself a MoB'r.  How couldn't I be?  Despite never having been to Russia, or Ukraine, etc., I met my wife after a couple of weeks on EM.  She came to the states on a visa 2 months later and after spending 6 months together here we got married.


I think this is just semantics....GQ is a pretty brilliant guy even if he can be disagreeable occasionally.  If someone had knowledge of this foreign wife process, if even loosely, and they have pursued it - you're a MoB'r.  The details, the content, doesn't really matter.


For me, I knew a guy who had been to the Ukraine and during a low point I signed onto EM - never in my wildest dreams did I think or plan I would go to Russia (not willing to share why, it just wasn't an option) to meet a woman - it was solely mental masturbation and quite frankly, pretty selfish of me to waste peoples time - but, like a good dog, I responded to positive reinforcement and stuck around until I corresponded with my now wife and suddenly it all changed and it all became very real for me.  I'm a MoB'r whether I like the label (I don't) or not.


Off Topic - if my posts lately seem screwy or even incoherent, my apologies, I blame my IPad.   I'm finding it difficult to use with the site and have about given up on fixing grammar etc - not sure why it acts so weird here. 

[Boethius]

I'm sorry Beo,
 but the term
 Average Mail Order Brider,,just cracks most anyone up!
no?
So some people  somehow feel better to be called
not your average mail order brider?
 
I can see it,  right up until you peel the onion.
 
Above average Mail Order Brider!!
 

 
 
<< For the record, i'd like my hero member status
changed to reflect  *slightly above average MOBer*
 
Unless a poll is taken and shows i'm a bit below average, and i could live with that designation too.
 

I make a lot of money peeling those onions, Jumper.

[GQBlues]

LOL. This thread really riled some people up, eh? I think it's great!

I already laid out what *I* defined as a typical MOBer...The social rejects and the old geezers. The list highlighted actions exercised by your typical MOBer. I really didn't think that required too much elaboration, but sadly....it apparently does. 

What I defined a typical MOBers are what the Dean from the School of Smooth used to describe as the *SRMs* - the Second-Rate Muthas...The butt-ugly ones, the fat ones and the very-very old.

Now, I'm not saying ALL of the people in this venture are either ugly, fat or the very old. Just most of them. For those who aren't, *like me for instance*, we are but a few in numbers comparatively. Again, if you don't believe me, go and attend one or two AM/FSUW couple parties and look at the hubbies and literally count how many of them fall within the 3 defined MOBer groups vs those who are not. That's about as telling* as it's ever going to get. Matter of fact, don't be surprised to see one, two, maybe more that will fit all 3 definitions MOBers/SRMs.

Heck, in this thread alone it's very easy to spot the ones who fall in either of these three groups. The more hostile the reaction, the likelier the guy fits at least two of the description, if not all three - your bonafide SRMs - LOL.

Yeah in a way you feel sorry for these blokes (not), I mean it must be so tough for some of them to dupe a woman even in places like the FSU, no? They have to resort into drastic measures just to try and mask their MOBer/SRM nature. Some likely just end up buying a wife when all is said and done. I mean, can any of you imagine speaking with someone who doesn't speak English? Isn't communication the very basic element when starting any form of an association with another, much less 'marriage'? It amuses me to no end when they cite how they find compatibility with a woman they just met but can't talk to beyond:

"Me, buy you fur...you, no speak - show tits...we, chaka-chaka...! Yes?".

"Ah..Harasho! Da! You fur...buy, buy, buy!"

...as both party nod their heads in unison like the silly bobble-head figure.

I mean...what's the point of that at all? You can't talk to your wife so you find yourself constantly talking to strangers in places like the elevators instead and because of it and actually brag about it? WTF! How stupid is that?

[Ade]

Yet it depends on ones difinition wouldn't it?

Of course, you can redefine anything any way you like. "Reject your reality and substitute my own" kinda thing.

So not in your mind, and you understandably  like to distance yourself,and  you can.
 
For my difinition you are perhaps an  outlier,sure!
but odds are still great if the drivers behind the MOB industry, and if the MOB industry had never existed,  your wife would have been far less likely to be contacting  a foregn man on an international dating website.

Given that she'd worked and travelled in France, Belgium and Germany I'd say that the chances of her falling for a foreigner was higher than average - just like my ex Norwegian wife. Or are you saying she was a MOB too? 


I think GQ makes some good points. There are reasons why many start sniffing around the FSU for women to marry and they aren't usually flattering. Why you did so is beyond me though; you're relatively young, good looking and successful as far as I understand and not too weird as far as I can tell. The type of guy that should have had a line of good looking girls wanting to date him at home. So why did you go hunting around in the FSU?


Do I "feel better" disassociating myself from the typical MOBer mindset? Well, I can't say I care enough about what others think to feel better about it really. Just call it an intellectual exercise. 

[fathertime]

I guess i'm a typical mob'er, whatever that means!






Fathertime! 

[Gylden]

.......and it is nothing new.
 
The concept of mail-order brides was first seen on the American frontier during the mid-1800s. Men from the East were migrating West in hopes of claiming land, farming, establishing businesses, and finding gold. Most of these men found financial success in the migration West, but the one thing that was missing was the company of a wife. Very few women lived in the West at this time, so it was hard for these men to settle down and start a family. Their only choice was to attract women living back East; the men wrote letters to churches and published personal advertisements in magazines and newspapers. In return, the women would write to the men and send them photographs of themselves.
 
http://listverse.com/2010/02/17/top-10-facts-about-mail-order-brides/