One woman at a time?

[YoungBuck]

Hi everyone,

New to the site and new to this international online dating. I've browsed through the ads and I see many beautiful women but very few who would complement my personality. I'm 30, educated but a little quirky. I am essentially looking for an attractive nerd which is absolutely difficult to find in the US.
I made a profile on Elenasmodels, and I have found 1 woman who fits that description. I am in the process of writing back and forth and it seems like any other online dating relationship (except I have to remind myself that she is 16hours away). I am not rich but I make a good living so visiting back and forth is not a big deal. I'm also an immigrant to the US so I can empathize with the adjustment it will take on her behalf. I am REALLY picky, I know, but I also go out to alumni events and here and there in the US but I am also realistic and I know that my youth is passing me by. I've been looking seriously for over 1 year now, and I've had girlfriends before but I think I'm not meeting marriage-minded women of my target age group (21-25). Anyhow, my dad had closed the baby factory at my age, so I feel like I should use youth and looks to land the best wife, irrespective of location.

For the question I had and I was hoping answered, why is there such a strong emphasis placed on talking with many girls?  If we talk, Facebook friend each other, and Skype, is it sensible to plan a trip to just visit ONE girl? She lives near Moscow so even if she was a no-show, I have college friends in Russia that I can hang out with.

Any insight or opinions are appreciated.

[Doll]

What country are you from? I mean what country have you immigrated from?

[Larry1]

You've raised one of the oft-debated questions on the FSUW-search forums.  There seem to be three options for visits:

1. Visit a number of girls.  This is generally called WMVM (write many, visit many).  Its proponents assert that a) you are better able to make a good decision if you are exposed to a number of girls, and b) it's less risky than visiting one girl because one often finds that one girl is not right.

2. Visit one girl.  This is generally called WOVO (write one, visit one).  Its proponents assert that if you talk to a number of girls then narrow the field down to one you would like to visit then your chances for making a great connection are best.

3. Visit one girl but have some backup plans in case things don't work out with that one.  The backup plans may include other girls you have talked to, or agencies who can introduce you to new girls if things don't work out with your primary girl.

There are many threads discussing which method is best.  The decision will rest mainly on you and the girl(s) that you talk to.

[CanadaMan]

Hi YB.
Welcome to RWD!

It would be very helpful to you if you did a search here for WOVO
and WMVM.
You'll find there are dozens and dozens of threads on the subject you are inquiring about.

[YoungBuck]

Mexico, when I was little. Parents are well-read and educated, so I've always had problems associating with most Mexicans even. Usually get taunted as "Mexican elite" by other Latinos.

[jone]

YB,

Glad you are from Mexico.  You could have been from Canada.  Then all bets would be off and you would be cast into a pit of burning brimstone.

Each relationship, each person is their own book.  No one else can write it.  We can match similarities.  But if you think someone is going to point you to the road of instant perfect relationships, you will be waiting a long time.

Go out.  Try out your wings.  Don't worry if she is not the girl for you.  I went to Ukraine thinking one girl was the one and found out another girl more closely matched who I was and what I was looking for.

Good luck.

-j 

[Doll]

YB, swear to God- my second and last question))) Why Russia and not Mexico? I would make sense if you go to your country to find a wife.

[JohnDearGreen]

One or many?  It doesn't have to be one or the other.  It can be both.  3-way plane tickets don't cost much more.  Fly to Moscow and VO visit the one lady.  Moscow is a poor place to do a VM trip anyway, as Moscow ladies are somewhat jaded about this whole ordeal.  On the 2nd hop of your 3-way trip,  fly from Moscow to Kyiv.   In Kyiv, plan a VM visit, and meet as many ladies as you can arrange, with little or no emails in advance.   If your  lady in Moscow works out great, you can always change the plane tickets and stay in Moscow.   If  your Moscow lady flops, you can also leave early. 

On my first trip, I flew into Kyiv for 11 days.  Then flew to Moscow for 8 days.  It was great to visit both capital cities.   If you are the right guy, most any method will work.   If not, nothing will work.  If she has to pluck the petals on a daisy to make a decision about you...then keep your Kyiv ticket.
http://blog.seattlepi.com/singleout/2008/05/04/she-loves-me-she-loves-me-not-iii-roses-daisies-or-tulips/

[YoungBuck]

Doll:

Believe me, I dont mind the country or culture, but mainly the personality and to a certain degree attractiveness (I'm a guy!).
I've seen this discussed a lot before, the difference between Latin and FSU women, and I believe education is the deciding factor. At my university, there were 8% Hispanics (say 3% women) and those 100 or so Latinas were snapped up pretty fast. The numbers in Latin America are not encouraging either. I read a post somewhere that 80% of Russians attend college so we are looking 5-10X more nerdy Russians than nerdy Latinas.
If you dont believe me, do a quick search through plentyoffish, or okcupid for college-educated Latinas 21-25. It is slim-pickings indeed. How many educated women with model looks will you find there?

[Larry1]

One or many?  It doesn't have to be one or the other.  It can be both.  3-way plane tickets don't cost much more.  Fly to Moscow and VO visit the one lady.  Moscow is a poor place to do a VM trip anyway, as Moscow ladies are somewhat jaded about this whole ordeal.  On the 2nd hop of your 3-way trip,  fly from Moscow to Kyiv.   In Kyiv, plan a VM visit, and meet as many ladies as you can arrange, with little or no emails in advance.   If your  lady in Moscow works out great, you can always change the plane tickets and stay in Moscow.   If  your Moscow lady flops, you can also leave early. 

I'm not taking a position as to whether "visit-one" or "visit-many" (WMVM) trips are best, but I believe most FSUW will consider the approach described above to be a WMVM trip even though the different girls live in different cities or countries.  Girls who really dislike the idea of WMVM trips will dislike this arrangement.

Several years ago I suggested a visit to a RW I had been talking to for some time.  I didn't have a great feeling about her and did not want to make a trip to visit only her.  But I had been talking to another RW in a different city and had a  better feeling about her.  So I thought I could fly to see the first girl and then go to the second girl's city.   The first girl (who had been in this game for years) asked me point blank whether I was also visiting any other girl on the trip.  When I replied "yes" she said no.

Don't take this as a suggestion that you should try one or the other approach. I just want you to be forewarned of the girls' possible reactions so you can react optimally.

[Doll]

If you dont believe me, do a quick search

I believe you- lived in Russia for 43 years)) I am not doing any search because I don't care for Mexican girls ( with all my respect to them).

[CDW]

YB, swear to God- my second and last question))) Why Russia and not Mexico? I would make sense if you go to your country to find a wife.

and why not Roswell, New MEXICO

[Doll]

and why not Roswell, New MEXICO

This too, but since YB is looking outside the USA, then it would make sense to go back to Mexico.
I would.

[Vaughn]

..... is it sensible to plan a trip to just visit ONE girl? She lives near Moscow so even if she was a no-show, I have college friends in Russia that I can hang out with.

At last - a "back up plan" that doesn't involve the usual chorus line. My own Plan Two involved a late summer fishing trip in Arkhangelsk. As it turned out, Plan One worked out very nicely. If your normal comfort zone is dating one girl at a time, stick with it.
 
So many Westerners allow the trip cost to dictate a VM journey as if that somehow will maximize results. If you like this lady, visit her. Let her know she's exclusive in your travel plan. No sparks in person as it seemed online? I bet your college pals know a few other girls you might fancy.
 
That's just my take. It's not a popular message around here.

[lonedrake]

his too, but since YB is looking outside the USA, then it would make sense to go back to Mexico.
I would.

Mexicans don't like him. Why would he want to go there?

I've always had problems associating with most Mexicans even. Usually get taunted as "Mexican elite" by other Latinos.

[BillyB]

I'm 30, educated but a little quirky.

What's your definition of quirky? Unpredictable? Weird? Had a guy here called Prince Alfie. He created artwork with his own sperm. In over a year of posting, he never had any luck with the ladies. not too hard for most people to figure it out yet for him he may never get it.


Because of your quirkiness you may have an uphill battle to find you a good match and it may be easier to change any strange behaviors you have. You may date 20 women at home and be lucky to find a good match. Each date you go on may cost $50-$100. You may date 20 women in the FSU and be lucky to find a good match. Each time you visit a woman, it will costs you thousands.


Do lots of letters, skype, and phone calls with the ladies to get a good read on them but things can still go bad when you finally meet face to face

[YoungBuck]

Billy B:
Thanks for all the help. What I mean by quirky, is essentially nerdy. I am not Dungeons and Dragons or LARPing nerdy, but I definitely fall in the Big Bang Theory type nerdy. The one good thing though, is that although a nerd, I grew up with machismo so that balances it out. Most Russians I met at school were nerdy, so that's why I'm here.

Well, I'll stop now and will continue to browse for more information. 

[Patagonie]

More you spend time on internet with a lady and more she is expecting a VO.

[Anechka]

Mexicans don't like him. Why would he want to go there?

What makes you think Russians are going to like him?

[Muzh]

Billy B:
Thanks for all the help. What I mean by quirky, is essentially nerdy. I am not Dungeons and Dragons or LARPing nerdy, but I definitely fall in the Big Bang Theory type nerdy. The one good thing though, is that although a nerd, I grew up with machismo so that balances it out. Most Russians I met at school were nerdy, so that's why I'm here.

Well, I'll stop now and will continue to browse for more information.

Dejame saber cuando estes listo y entonce hablamos.

[Gator]

I read a post somewhere that 80% of Russians attend college so we are looking 5-10X more nerdy Russians than nerdy Latinas......If you dont believe me, do a quick search through plentyoffish, or okcupid for college-educated Latinas 21-25. It is slim-pickings indeed. How many educated women with model looks will you find there?

First point, "college" in Russia is not equivalent to "college" in the US.  In the US it is the same as "university."  In Russia, it means vocational school such as cosmetology, fashion design, or.....  So a college RW will probably not be nerdy.

Regarding your question of VO or VM, you must do what feels best for you.  It seems you are a VO man, so go VO.  I advise that you do this only after long and frequent Skype talks where everything has been discussed.

[Gator]

Youngbuck,
 
Why a nerd?     
 
 A real nerd tends to be intense and single minded.  Are you sure that is what you want?   

I also am attracted to "brains and beauty," and I met several attractive RW interested in technology, science, etc.    You could call them nerds, but I really relish 1)  their high level of intellectual curiosity, 2)  their disregard for conformity, and their intensity. 
 
If that is what you seek, you can find such RW.  I met several, older than what you seek but they were the same when younger.     None were what I would call model quality, drop dead gorgeous,  etc.  The "10s" tend to choose a different path.   
 
The best was a professor but too sexual for me.    To give you some idea, she could not ride the train when young because the movement would turn her on too much, making her crazy.    She now rides trains because she has learned how to masturbate in public without being obvious.   I will not disclose some other facets of her sexuality as they may disturb some readers.   

[Gator]

Another question.  You can find nerdy women in the US.    What's wrong with them?  Let me guess, you want a pretty one, especially a blond, and nerds tend not to be blond (no blond jokes).  Of course, Mexican senoritas are not blond except for a few within the elite class.     
 
That's okay because there are a couple of members who married someone well outside their ethnicity.  One has Asian blood and wanted a blond woman much taller than him.

[ML]

The best was a professor but too sexual for me.    To give you some idea, she could not ride the train when young because the movement would turn her on too much, making her crazy.    She now rides trains because she has learned how to masturbate in public without being obvious.   I will not disclose some other facets of her sexuality as they may disturb some readers.

She likely had the PGAD I noted in another thread.

To further the idea, which will also disturb some readers . . . females that are that sensitive (or even considerably less) can have orgasms by squeezing the appropriate muscles (I know this as an absolute fact); thus eliminating even the need for manual actions.

[Gator]

She likely had the PGAD I noted in another thread.

To further the idea, which will also disturb some readers . . . females that are that sensitive (or even considerably less) can have orgasms by squeezing the appropriate muscles (I know this as an absolute fact); thus eliminating even the need for manual actions.

 
You got it.  A more scientific term is "contracting," and over the years they have highly toned those muscles, making coitus something incredible.   The female sexual anatomy is much more complicate than the male's, and highly intelligent women who are attuned with their bodies do make for great lovers.