My DV trial recomendations

[Maxx]

Hello "John":
 
I will keep this brief as I know you have little time and allot on your mind right now. I have to keep my advice generalized as I have little information about your case. I don't know for example if tomorrow is a hearing as you said or a civil trial for a restraining order. Either way I will give you my layman's advice on how to conduct yourself during this hearing or trial. Please though run everything I write here past your attorney first. It is very important that you work together in all things. I regret that I couldn't get this done sooner for you.
 
1) This is basic but I will state it. Make sure you present yourself in a clean cut respectable manner in regard to your clothing and grooming. Unfortunately you will be examined with the negative thought of the stereotypical man who married a mail order bride.
 
2) Get a copy of your attorney's questions he is going to ask you. You should read these and know exactly what you are going to say. This should be gone over with your attorney today or right before the trial. Preferable today with a review tomorrow morning. You need to rehearse this with your attorney before the trial. BTW he should show up well before you are asked to enter the courtroom. Having your attorney coming in late or last minute (as mine did) makes for a nervous time and you don't need that. Also keep in mind although your case maybe scheduled for say 10:30 AM, you maybe required to be seated quietly waiting when the court opens at 9:00 AM. Check this out with your attorney.     
 
3) Make a list of things you want to be made known during the trial. Many times important details one needs to explain are not mentioned. It is up to you to make sure that what needs to be known is either stated by you or by your lawyer with his questions. As example, if you found out your wife had taken her child out of her country without her ex-husband knowledge and your recently learning this caused you to be suspicious of her character then find a way to get this into your testimony. Be careful about adding things that may be perceived as giving you reason to go into a jealous rage such as her adultery and e-mail contact with other men etc. Avoid any mention of conversations about her going back to Russia. This can be twisted as you threatening her with deportation. This is considered as emotional abuse and possible blackmail used by you to control (abuse) her. Overall you want the judge or jury to get the impression that your wife is not truthful and that she has a conniving nature. This can be done with very quickly told anecdotal stories. The judges and prosecutors are much more restrictive with what your attorney can say than what you can say. So you are given more leeway than your attorney about saying certain things and you are given more time to say them. Your answers do not need to be "Yes" or "No" or short sentences or even limited to just one or two sentences. That is why I say that the respondent/defendant can be his own best lawyer if he takes advantage of this situation with his attorney feeding him the right questions to expound on.
 
4) Be prepared to defend yourself on why you married a woman from another country or someone you met over the internet. No, you will not be badgered by pointed questions in this regard. After all your accuser was part of that also. But how you met will come up. The negative stereotype of men who marry "mail order brides" (do NOT ever use that term in court) will come up in people's minds. It is best to soften this image with your own brief tender love story. If you went to Russia several times to visit her or got to know her over a year(s) mention that. I would avoid mention of marriage agencies as it seems too "mail order bride-ish". If they come up at all they were just someone you used to translate your letters that's all. 
 
5) Make sure you are at your cognitive best. Get a good night's sleep. If you need to take something to get those 8 hours then do so. Just make sure it does not leave you sluggish the next day. So control the amount taken. You will need your wits about you. Caffeine or other taken in the morning may give you the needed edge. However you do not want to appear jumpy or high-strung during your testimony.  Again control the amount taken. Six cups of coffee maybe too much.
 
6) If you have a spotless record in regard to criminal and civil matters make sure that is made known. If you have lived a life without ever having the police called on you or ever being arrested or accused of a crime then why is this happening to you now?    
 
7) The judges and prosecutors need to be educated as to certain particulars of the INS spousal abuse petition. Most everyone in the courts know that abused immigrant woman are allowed stay in the US. What they don't know (usually) is that the INS requires "proof of official evidence of abuse" or "primary evidence" for this. What this exactly is has been defined by the INS on it's website,
 
Quote:
[indent]
Evidence of the abuse, such as reports and affidavits from police, judges and other officials, medical personnel, school officials, clergy, social workers, and other social service agency personnel. If you have an order of protection or have taken other legal steps to end the abuse, you should submit copies of those court documents.

[line]

Form I -360 Instructions (Rev 10/26/05 ) Page 2 
http://uscis.gov/graphics/formsfee/forms/I-360.htm[/indent]There is precious little time during a trial to educate the judge and jury as to her need to get "official evidence of abuse" for the INS. But how long does it take to rattle off the above in bold? About 10 seconds... Effort should be made to impress upon the court that they are being used. In other words that she is pulling a fast one. That if they give her what she wants (official evidence of abuse) they are aiding her in her continuing crime... Mention that by her getting "official evidence of abuse" she will be given by the INS, United States Citizenship at an accelerated rate.
 
Also be prepared for the statement that your wife knows little about immigration matters and certainly nothing about this abuse petition. The prosecutor may even ask you if you have discussed using an abuse charge. This is a trap! If you have discussed abuse for a greencard with her that would indicate that you did abuse her. Explain that your wife has had many conversations some that last for hours about immigration matters. That her status to legally stay in America is by either "by living with you in a boni fide marriage for two years or claim to the INS that she is abused by you"  23 words... Isn't logical that she would know about these only two options the INS gives (BTW always say INS not USCIS as few people know the other) during her hours of conversation with her immigration savvy Russian friends?   
 
Your demeanor is very important during your trial. No matter how much you are pushed or provoked by the prosecution or by your wife's testimony do not react. Your irritation of what you see and hear will not be seen as righteous indignation but rather your inability to control yourself. Avoid shaking your head, rolling your eyes or groining no matter how outrageous the statements or questions are. Never cope an attitude with the prosecutor. Purport yourself like Mr. Rogers. 
 
9) Be prepared to hear some outrageous lies. If your wife told you stories about her previous husband's abuse expect to rehear them in court. Only this time with your name attached to them. Every effort will be made to portray you as a monster. Expect to hear about your insults to her as a woman or belittling her country as "Third World". Threats towards her, her children, her pets and yourself. Forced sex (spousal rape) and during menstruation or by anal. Expect even innocent sweet  things that happened during your marriage to be twisted and made to appear obscene. She will say she was afraid to go to the police and didn't know where else to go to escape you. All this will be very well rehearsed. The prosecutor will say in his or her summation that her details prove that these things really happened. You will need to correct several of these details to show that the other details also have rational explanations. It would be a mistake to point by point correct everything she said if it involves many accusations.  
 
10) Portray yourself for what you are, an innocent duped victim.  It was you who got scammed (don't use this word) and deceived. Don't worry about appearing foolish. You had good intentions but she didn't.
 
11) Never admit to be depressed. Depression can be twisted to make it seem possible that you changed somehow, that when you become depressed you become violent. If asked admit only to your sadness that your marriage was ending and nothing more.   
 
12) Get any firearms out of your house. Perhaps it is too late for you to do this but I would turn over any guns, rifles or swords over for safe keeping to a third party under a legal contract to keep them from you for a certain period of time, say two years. Having an easily obtainable gun by you and this coming out during trial practically guarantees that the judge will issue a restraining (protective) order. By Federal law the ownership of firearms or swords is prohibited. From the website http://www.DVmen.org
 
From the time the protection order is imposed until it is cleared from all databases it is a violation of Federal[/b] law 18 U.S.C. § 922(g)(8 and 9) to purchase, acquire, or be in possession of firearms or other dangerous weapons, e.g., swords, grenades, explosives, ammunition, etc. This is a felony with a[/i] mandatory[/b] minimum of 5 years in federal prison if convicted.[/i]
Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives (BATFE) approved method of storage after issuance of a protection order or being charged with domestic violence is with an attorney, with the police or sheriff, or with an approved firearms dealer. Have a friend or relative collect them for you and remove them to an approved storage location until after you are sure the protection order has been lifted and[/i] your name removed from the state and federal databases. That will usually require a separate motion to the court or personally carrying a certified copy of the court order of dismissal

 
I hope this helps. Let me know how it went.
 
Maxx