Coming down after first trip. 15/2 to 6/3

[vivefrancais]

Hello forum members.

I'm now on the way back from Moscow to Heathrow. Where to start, it's been unlike any 'holiday' I've had before but it has been a good experience, mostly. 

I'll write an outline here & if anyone wants to ask questions, make comments or suggestions then that's fine. I'm not sure there'll be a next time, l hope so but I just need to gather my thoughts first.

I got the idea from my workmate who married a lady from Astrakhan 10 years ago. So late Nov I started emailing & asked my workmate if his wife had any single friends out there. Some photos came back of a lady hiding behind a fruit bowl (not very successfully) so l continued writing.

 Fast forward to early Jan  & I was writing & skyping to 5 ladies, 3 from Moscow(aged 36,37,38), one from Yoshkar Ola(41) & one from Kazan(37), I'm nearly 49. They seemed genuine & they had all said they'd like to meet. One in Moscow & the one in YO seemed very promising. I was honest with them & said I'd be meeting others. This put a couple of them out slightly & the tone of their emails changed a little. I'm not sure there's any way round this, I would back off too. What are the alternatives, to lie or just visit one.

Visa, flights to  Moscow & YO & a return flight from Kazan to Moscow had been booked. With those & all the accommodation & transfers the trip was starting to look a touch complicated.

10 days before departure Kazan lady said her plans had changed & wished me luck! Great. I had skyped with her many times, even with her son, she had invited me to see her & I had asked her to confirm that she really wanted to. We'd discussed what we might do on the visit. I had thought she seemed a little flakey but we'd chatted easily, she had a nice smile & an easy laugh. She'd said she liked the man to make the running, even initiate each skyping, so that's what I'd done. There could be more of a cultural difference in Kazan as it's the capital of Tartastan so mostly Muslim I think. She had said she was not religious.

Whatever, I decided to press ahead & visit Kazan as my workmates wife said it was an interesting place. Another lady from Moscow (39) had started writing to me again after an interlude & seemed nice, wanted to meet so I was back up to 5.

I'd kept the first w/e free for the promising one in Moscow 36, but she wasn't able to meet me on the Fri when I landed( maybe not that promising) so I was able to meet with 37 that evening. We went for coffee then an Italian. She sounded a bit husky then I realised she had a serious smoking habit. What with a few other things I decided not to pursue things further 

Spent the sat with 36, we got on really well visiting Novodevichy convent - good if you like religious things, then a huge church recently rebuilt (like a lot of things in Moscow) over Russia's largest swimming pool & a fabulous classic car museum filling 5 large halls. Something told me that 36 wasn't going to be the one though. We did meet up a few more times as we'd built a kind of relationship over the computer & it wouldn't have seemed right to end it there. Besides sometimes a spark can ignite a little way down the line.

Sun I met up with the late comer 39. She was a human dynamo, very chatty & energetic. We walked all round Moscow having a tour as she was very knowledgeable. She gave me some confidence on the metro as I have to admit I struggled a little on the Friday. All the signs are in Cyrillic (surprisingly) so I'd got pretty confused & had to ask some people who kindly helped me out. The ladies & my workmate had taught me about 6 words so I was pretty green as I had neglected my homework.
Unfortunately no connection with 39 but as she was so nice, cheerful (sometimes a rarity in Moscow I've found) & such good company we decided we'd meet again.

Monday met the 4th lady 38 for a coffee in the evening. Didn't get off to a great start as I inadvisedly started talking about politics. Some Russians are quite sensitive about their past, the hardships that they have had to endure & are still very unhappy about what is going on now. I have & have had some tough times, most of us have. I do take her point though. I can't begin to understand what it has been like living in Russia in a few short days. The conversation relaxed, I was quite attracted to her so I invited her to my favourite Moscow Italian. I think she was impressed that I knew this place. I was just hoping that the staff didn't say anything about Fri night. It went well, she laughed, but she seemed a little stern (some people like this) , serious & a touch too earnestly arty, ballet, opera, that kind of thing. We emailed & she said she'd be happy to meet when I returned after YO & Kazan.

Tue eve I met 36 again for a quick coffee in the evening. A tenner for 2 coffees, Moscow isn't cheap but I like the atmospheric eateries & cafes. I thought she would have made an effort to see me more but she has a young daughter & she possibly felt the same as me about there not being a spark, maybe she felt it more than me.
Thu I saw cheerful 39 for a coffee. She really lifts me as it's not all fun, games & dating on this trip. At times it's felt a little uncomfortable & depressing, especially as I can't talk to anyone, the service with a grimace is miserable, it's freezing & I've met 4 out of 5 ladies & not one has given me a yesss moment yet. This is not how my friend said it would be. He said they'd be falling over me & the problem would be deciding which one. Maybe a lot has changed in 10 years but I didn't believe him entirely.

Flew to Yoshkar Ola Thu eve & after skidding sideways on a snow covered runway my first thoughts were 'thank god I'm alive'. 41, the most promising of all met me at the airport' Shorter than I thought 5'4" was but very pretty. We chatted easily in the hotel bar & her advice to me walking round YO the next day was to try not to speak to anyone & if someone spoke to me just say niet.

Fri I went to the gym she'd told me about. I was picked up by Dennis, a really friendly taxi driver(the 1st) who just happened to be going to work out as well. He showed me the ropes & insisted on giving me tuition in the gym. I guess it's a mistake a lot of us make in thinking people who don't speak the language are slightly stupid. He introduced me to Anne, a young student who spoke good English & we said we'd meet after for lunch. Dennis dropped us off at the lunch stop for no charge. I wanted to use him again but he said as it was Russian men's day Sat he was going on a 5 day bender. Anne said even the on duty police join in so I was wondering if YO was going to turn into the wild west. But no it didn't, or maybe I just went to the wrong places.
In the evening I met 41 & her friend Olga for a great time at a lively Mexican restaurant. It was a special occasion of hers & she insisted on picking up the bill.

Had a fabulous w/e. Watched some tennis at a tournament being played in the city. Top ranking would have been about 600-700 in the world so very good standard & got friendly with 2 of the Russian players staying at my hotel. Went for the coldest picnic I've ever had, the tomato was freezing to my hand, but it was a beautiful setting by a frozen lake. Cooked her a Jalfrezi with sauce I'd brought Sat eve. Sun with her & Olga we went x country skiing then visited a banya. All free as they had the equipment & knew the banya owner. The evening was good too with another meal & a few drinks after in my hotel room.

Mon I went to the gym & met Anne again for lunch. It really helped that I found other people to meet up with during the day. Andrev, a mixed(kicking & punching) fighter introduced himself at the gym & we said we'd meet Tue for lunch. That night 41 & me went for a meal. It went well but then she became 'tired'. We had a discussion where I was accused of not being suitable material to settle down as I'd had my chances but had never chosen to. I thought that was a bit rich coming from someone who'd never lived with anyone. I guess it was a sign that she wanted to back off.  I told her in an email the next day to try not to pick holes in anyone else's life. Perhaps I'm a bit sensitive these days. She apologised in an email, also telling me sometimes she thought we were a good match & sometimes she didn't. 

Tue met 41 for lunchtime coffee then Andrev for lunch with his friend Nadya who spoke much better English. He's a great guy, wants to improve his English, bought me lunch & wants a contact in England as he's thinking of investing in property here. Offered to drive me to Kazan the next day which was very lucky as the bus would have been hassle. Saw some more tennis that afternoon. One of the lads at the hotel beat a player ranked 800 places above him, a great win. I had a quick chat with him as I was going out for the evening & he was beaming. I was really pleased for him. That evening 41 cooked me a great Russian meal in her flat. We'd bought some Putinka vodka & a good imitation French red. We had cucumbers, a garlic dip, caviar, unleavened brown bread all preceded by a shot of the vodka. She then cooked chicken, mushrooms & garlic wrapped in cabbage. I caught a taxi to my hotel.

Andrev & Nadya took me to Kazan on Wed. I'd explained to the hotel that I'd just met them & could they take a note of his car number just in case. I thought they'd be more discreet but the security made a big show of scrutinising him. He found it quite funny & hopefully thought they'd done it of their own accord. I tried but he insisted on buying me lunch again in Kazan.

Kazan old centre & Kremlin is very picturesque & well worth a visit, even in blizzard conditions. There's a lot of water (ice) there & I'm sure it would be great when warmer too. I didn't know anyone in Kazan so tried badoo & sent a quick email to Kazan lady(I'm not too proud). Had a couple of chats on badoo but no meetings materialised.

Fri flew back to Moscow. Sat went to a ski area an hours north of Moscow with 36 & her daughter. We had a great time doing x country skiing. I impressed with my new found skills from YO ( the first ever time for x country, usually do downhill) by going slightly faster than an old person walking. We got on really well again but still no spark.

Sun, stern 38 drove me around Moscow showing me a few of her favourite places. Frozen parks, treacherous streets covered in ice. I really feel for the infirm in these conditions. It would be almost like a comedy show out there with people slipping & sliding if it wasn't so dangerous. And yet I've only seen one person fall. We had lunch & I showed her some photos back in my hotel room. Decided we really have nothing in common, we haven't been in touch since.
Went to Swan Lake ballet in the Kremlin theatre in the evening with 36. She'd arranged this before I flew to YO. It was great, very graceful, athletic & they didn't fall over once.

The last 2 full days were spent walking round some nice parks & a metro tour with cheerful 39. I also met a cute lady on badoo who insisted on giving me a metro tour as well. I even have photos with each of the ladies standing by the same statues.

So here I am back home now. Nothing went badly wrong on the trip, unless you include the fact that  it totally failed in it's primary objective. All the ladies I got on well with say they are happy to stay in touch, even badoo lady & 41 in YO,  but I can't see anything coming from it. I don't think I made any big mistakes. I brought gifts, paid for all meals, taxis etc. except where they insisted. But in reality there was only one I would have liked to try & develop things further with.

Hopefully I can use this experience as a springboard for the next trip. I'll ask Andrev if he knows any suitable ladies in YO but if none then perhaps I should target a city further east & try & make the next trip a little simpler. Obviously I'd like to try & improve my chances of success for the next time. The build up to this trip took a lot of time & effort, especially emailing as I took a personal approach to each lady. Any helpful suggestions appreciated.

Thanks.

[tfcrew]

 Nothing went badly wrong on the trip, unless you include the fact that  it totally failed in it's primary objective. All the ladies I got on well with say they are happy to stay in touch, even badoo lady & 41 in YO,  but I can't see anything coming from it. I don't think I made any big mistakes.

Are you sure you would want a lady w/kids? It is something to consider.
I would say that if you don't hit it off...why "stay in touch"?
This stuff takes time.
Good luck there..............................................

[calmissile]

Nice trip report.  I can't see any major flaws you made.  The only one that might have made a difference is telling them that you are there to interview many ladies.  That for sure pisses them off.

Can't really make a recommendation as to tell them or lie to them.  One thing I did sense when telling them you are meeting others, is that they all seem to clam up and appear to want to wait until your done looking to establish a relationship with them.  Don't know if it was a fluke or expected behavior.

My last trip to Ukraine was an extended vacation.  I did not have any particular gal picked out although I had about a dozen that I had been chatting with on Skype and emails.  When asked about seeing other women, I explained I am on vacation and am going to visit numerous sites whether I date or not.  Also told them I was seeing a family I was close friends with from previous trips (true).  Two of the gals tracked me all over Ukraine wanting to know who I was seeing and how I  knew them.  For the most part I ignored the questions, but did get pinned down on meeting a gal I had promissed a gift to a year earlier and wanted to drop it off.

I really don't think it is much different than dating women in the US.  They have exhibited the same jealousy behavior after I think about it.  All the same questions.       The difference here is that we spend a lot of money traveling half way around the world and don't want to take a chance of blowing a vacation if one gal does not work out.

At least you got your feet on the ground and a feel for the culture and food.  I can't say that I would recommend going to Russia or Ukraine in the middle of winter.

[Belvis]

This is not how my friend said it would be. He said they'd be falling over me & the problem would be deciding which one.

 

[Vaughn]

Flew to Yoshkar Ola Thu eve & after skidding sideways on a snow covered runway my first thoughts were 'thank god I'm alive'.

The snow might have saved you. Beneath that is a crumbled excuse for a runway. In my 12 years of familiarity with Yoshkar Ola, you're the first Western man I've heard of who actually flew in directly. For many of those years that aerodrom was closed to passenger travel, but, HEY, you made it !!
 

She apologised in an email, also telling me sometimes she thought we were a good match & sometimes she didn't. 

I have to wonder aloud why you spent Friday with 41, and then apparently didn't see her again until Monday. Was she not available to spend time with you? Did it ever cross your mind to invite her along for the trek to Kazan? Could "sometimes she didn't" possibly imply that she felt you were too willingly distracted by sports and others?
 
Overall, nice trip report. There's so much more to the FSU than just its ladies, and you really enjoyed your time there, with few if any "what to do"  moments.

[Gator]

Vive Francais,
 
Interesting read.  You did okay, much as I would expect for any man venturing to Russia and particularly Moscow today.  I would say that you should have spent more time skyping before meeting.  If so, you would have eliminated a couple before the meeting.
 

He said they'd be falling over me & the problem would be deciding which one.
Maybe a lot has changed in 10 years

A lot has changed.  The economy has improved.  RM are not so bad and once again have jingle in their pocket.   RW are also earning money and able to be independent.    And that is good, i. e. they Will marry for the ideal reasons.  So you must win their heart, and that takes time for which there is no substitute.
 
Please elaborate some so that we might help you with your deliberations about what to do next.
 
37 - She smokes.  Deal killer for me too.   You need to ask these questions in the correspondence period before meeting.
 
36 - "Something told me that 36 wasn't going to be the one though."  What exactly was the something?  Personality?  Appearance?  Lack of chemistry?   Knowing this, why did you spend more time with her?
[later on return to Moscow] "We got on really well again but still no spark."  Fair enough.
 
39 - "Unfortunately no connection..."   Can you be more specific.  She did not like you, or vice verso, or mutual?
 
38 - "It went well, she laughed, but she seemed a little stern (some people like this) , serious & a touch too earnestly arty, ballet, opera, that kind of thing. We emailed & she said she'd be happy to meet when I returned after YO & Kazan"   Sounds like a Moscow woman, and Moscow women had a reputation for being difficult 10 years ago such that many AM advised to never go to Moscow.     You seem sophisticated (worldly) so what's wrong with her.  I doubt she was upset about your politics - smart RW enjoy such conversations but they are not diplomatic in expressing points.
 
[later on return to Moscow] - "Decided we really have nothing in common, we haven't been in touch since."  I too would not be happy with a "stern" demeanor.  I prefer someone with whom I smile and laugh, yet still challenges my intellect.
 
 "I've met 4 out of 5 ladies & not one has given me a yesss moment yet."  What is a yesss moment?  Do you get "yessss moments " when dating local women in your home city?
 
41 - "the most promising of all"  Why?   This is the only one you describe as pretty.  Were you disappointed in the appearance of the others?

We had a discussion where I was accused of not being suitable material to
settle down as I'd had my chances but had never chosen to.

RW have a rule to be leery of men who are over 40 and never been married.  The general opinion is, "Something is wrong with him."
 

I thought that was a bit rich coming from someone who'd never lived with anyone.

Remember that RW do not hold themselves to the same standards that they expect you to meet.    

I guess it was a sign that she wanted to back off.  I told her in an
email the next day to try not to pick holes in anyone else's life. Perhaps I'm a
bit sensitive these days. She apologised in an email, also telling me sometimes
she thought we were a good match & sometimes she didn't.

Don't discuss critical points via emails.  Talk.  The fact that she showed some flexibility is good IMO.
 
cute lady on badoo - And?

[Muzh]

So here I am back home now. Nothing went badly wrong on the trip, unless you include the fact that  it totally failed in it's primary objective. All the ladies I got on well with say they are happy to stay in touch, even badoo lady & 41 in YO,  but I can't see anything coming from it. I don't think I made any big mistakes. I brought gifts, paid for all meals, taxis etc. except where they insisted. But in reality there was only one I would have liked to try & develop things further with.

Hopefully I can use this experience as a springboard for the next trip. I'll ask Andrev if he knows any suitable ladies in YO but if none then perhaps I should target a city further east & try & make the next trip a little simpler. Obviously I'd like to try & improve my chances of success for the next time. The build up to this trip took a lot of time & effort, especially emailing as I took a personal approach to each lady. Any helpful suggestions appreciated.

Thanks.

Frenchie:


So your first trip didn't bring any results. It is very difficult to establish any kind of business on a first trip after a round of cold calls. At least you have seen the market and based on your comments there is some possibility of success in a future venture.


Now you have to do some homework and follow up calls. Do some cross-reference when targeting certain markets there. That would be helpful. And above all, make sure your future clients make some time in earnest for you on your next trip.


Good luck.

[ML]

Nice write-up.  Thanks for spending the time  writing and posting.

Telling or not telling  is always a topic for big arguments here on this board.

I am one of the 'not tellers' and it has not hurt me except with one  out  of a hundred women.

I very strongly tell them early on in a series of emails that I will not discuss other women past, (imagined, by them) present or (imagined) future.  It has saved me tons of grief.

You might give some thought to my approach your next time around.
Check out my posting "FSUW 101" in the Starting Out section.

And I have an extensive Trip Report in that section.

I never experienced the 'falling all over you' that some guys like to brag about, but I did get plenty of romantic interest from many gals in the age range 35 - 50.

Best to you.

[vivefrancais]

Thanks for your replies & interest guys. I'll go through them.

tfcrew
I wouldn't mind if she had kids. I know there'd be added complications but I think kids add a lot to a relationship too. The age range I'm looking at 35-42, I'd be ruling out a lot of nice women if I specified no kids. Besides, you could argue that women of that age with no kids may be a little suspect.
I also would me more than ok if my future partner wanted a/more kids.
I take your point about why stay in touch if we don't hit it off. Perhaps I need to be more clinical. I wasn't thinking of writing with the same frequency but it might be nice to meet up if I'm passing through Moscow. The 3 I've written to since returning haven't replied yet anyway so perhaps they're taking the decision for me.

calmissile
No I didn't fancy winter either but I wanted to get cracking & it would let them know I'm serious but I think some of them thought I was a little crazy too.
I don't think telling them I was visiting others made a difference to the eventual outcome, but yes some were a bit put out. 

Vaughn
That's nice to know about the runway. They just started passenger flights last year.
I don't think I explained it properly, I spent that whole weekend with her & did all the things I described, with her. Watching a little tennis, picnic,cooked her jalfrezi at her flat, x country skiing, banya, bowling, evening meal then drinks in my room. It was a great weekend but I think she just decided I wasn't the one. She was talking about coming over to visit, then was thinking about where else to go. Mixed messages all the way. She avoided discussing things face to face. It may have been a close decision with her about me but I don't think she knows what she wants. If she's still interested she can let me know but I'd be wary.

Gator
With 36, 38 & 39 I guess I just didn't find them attractive enough, yes I was disappointed. 36 & 38 looked stunners in the photos. I skyped with 36 & she looked ok then. Stern 38 avoided skyping, didn't look too bad in the flesh but her whole demeanour turned me off. She did laugh & smile but was very serious underneath & I think she would have been extremely demanding. 39 was a latecomer so I didn't get a chance to skype but I'm glad I met her as she showed me a lot of nice places & her cheerfulness & enthusiasm were infectious. I would have spent many more hours in my hotel room not venturing out into that weather if it wasn't for her.
If I get the same type of ladies next time then I'll have to asses what quality of girl I'm capable of attracting & set my sights lower.
I have had yesss moments dating here but not so many recently as most of them are near my age. I don't make my mind up immediately but most of us can tell within a short while if we find someone attractive. I thought 36 may be a slow burn but I didn't feel anything more when returning to Moscow & she didn't either.
41 was the prettiest & great fun too.
"RW have a rule to be leery of men who are over 40 and never been married.  The general opinion is, "Something is wrong with him."
I'm very aware of this. This probably goes for all women & vice versa. In my profile I stated I had been married. In fact when I had my son I lived with a lady for a few years, but we were never actually married. It used to be called "common law husband & wife" in England so I thought of myself as being married. I think if you meet someone & there's an attraction then this wouldn't be such a big deal if explained this way & when I explained it to a few of the girls it wasn't a big deal, maybe as only one of them was married before. I know this is risky & could backfire but I think it's a chance worth taking.
badoo lady?  This started out as initially talking to her for the first time that day which led to a metro tour & coffee after in a great little cafe near Pushkin sq. in which she said she wasn't looking for a man as she needed to concentrate on her 17 yo son, making sure he completes his studies-weak excuse I thought.  Since then we've exchanged a couple of just friendly emails, some of it about our love of France & in an email from her this morning she's wondering if I'll be in France in July as she needs someone to drink wine with. I'll see where this goes.

Muzh
"make sure your future clients make some time in earnest for you on your next trip."
You're right, I need to ask some clear questions about our time together but I also think it's good to be flexible if you want to spend more or less time. I don't want to upset people as I know how I'd feel if I'd made arrangements, maybe time off work, for a visit that didn't materialise so it could be quite a balancing act. I think if I found someone who I thought there was really a good chance I would have to be hard edged enough to go with that to the detriment of others.

ML
I have looked at your approach & based mine loosely around it. I do like to make a personal approach as I think a standard letter could 'waste' some ladies but of course this takes much more time. For this trip I did want to set a time for the visit & put it on my Elenas Models profile. Things got a little rushed towards the trip & maybe I should have skyped more & that would have weeded  some out so I would have had to be writing to more to keep the numbers up. I should also be asking specific questions & not pussy footing around. 
I think most of them assume you'll be writing & visiting others unless it's made very clear you're not. I might adopt your approach about just not discussing others.
Can I ask if you're still looking or do you do it for different reasons such as the buzz of the trip? I'm hoping that I won't have to do endless trips to get what I want from this.

Appreciate the advice & questions. I find this forum gives me inspiration & is a great place to mull things over. 

[ML]

ML
I have looked at your approach & based mine loosely around it. I do like to make a personal approach as I think a standard letter could 'waste' some ladies but of course this takes much more time.
I think most of them assume you'll be writing & visiting others unless it's made very clear you're not. I might adopt your approach about just not discussing others.
Can I ask if you're still looking or do you do it for different reasons such as the buzz of the trip?

Re-read my "FSUW 101" a bit.  Although I send the same basic letter to all the gals, I do personalize each one somewhat to answer their questions and to comment on their jobs, family, living situation, etc.

The standard part of the messages just covers the part where you describe your background, family, education, work experiences, where you have lived, where you have traveled, the women you have had sex with previously (joking), etc.  These are things the women all want to know anyway.

Not one woman ever commented they felt my message was 'standard, boiler plate, form, or whatever.'  It does take some writing skills however, to pull this off . . . i.e. make a standard message look non-standard.

I have seen messages written to the women by other men who fail to answer questions asked, who fail to put each woman's name at the top of a message, who cut and paste and screw up the proper sequences,  different type face is even used in different sections, etc.  They were dead meat.

And you are right . . . these women know you are visiting other women.  But you don't want to slap them in the face with it by telling them.  Saying (in a strong manner) you will not discuss it does the trick.  And at the same time, say you will not ask anything about their men, past or current. Those that have some minimum of desireability will have a man or two in their current life; whether serious or not.

As for the 'buzz of the trip' you mention . . . my trips to FSU to meet with the women were great.  What couldn't be great about going on a date with a different woman every day for 10-14 days?  The 'Bachelor' had nothing on me.   

In my thread in TR section 'ML and Ukrainian Women', I tell that I have spent the last year and three quarters (and counting) with only one UW.  You can read the details there.  Using someone else's words I recently read:  "If we were any happier, it would be illegal."  At least for the current . . . . . I am well aware these relationships can turn on a dime. Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.

[newjason]

hi francais.

I'm glad you enjoyed Moscow this time of year.

If your primary objective was to go bag a wife and bring her back with you,  be glad that did not happen.
You seem to have your head screwed on straight and are actually dating women within your age/class.
It will be no different than dating at home. It's best just to go make some friends , have a good time and enjoy yourself.  If mrs francais should cross your path, well then you know what to do.
It seems that most men who go overseas do have lots of women fighting for their attention, yet they ignore the fact that they are a generation or two (or 3) apart in age and then it turns into something else.

Don't put a time limit on finding a wife. You have waited this long, so just be patient and have some fun until you meet her.

You are going to need some new alais' for your next trip report though

[Vasilisa]

Resume: (let's put the country issue away and imagine he is a Russian):
A 49 divorced guy with a kid from a previous marriage, goes to a different country without learning some language and is upset about the fact that not many people speak his language, at the same time thinks that everyone who doesn't speak his language is slightly stupid, is obviously saying something stupid about the Russian history to the locals. (this attitude  reminds me of  low-class Russians who go to Turkey for drunk vacations) Expecting for the women to fall over him. (to show  his attitude and expectations)

Dates several women and tells them about that (means any of them knows she is not that special one), looking for stunning-looking girls 10+years younger and is upset that they didn't make 10 on the scale. Lets men pay for him. Expects yesss moments after a cup of coffee. 

That is what I saw only from what he tells to us. I have no idea what he was telling to the women that one of them (a 41 yo one from the poorest city of all  that he has visited) called him "not  a marriage material"  and another one cancelled the meeting at all and didn't respond his emails even when he came to the city (she could have had a cup of coffee at least but no).

Why would you date that unless you want to escape from the country asap?!
PS: even if this car in the picture is his one!!!

Frenchie, you are obviously doing something wrong. I can't imagine it being that bad with all women and it's in Russia, not Ukraine, btw.

[jone]

I am somewhat amazed by some of the stories that I read on this site.  Faux Pas always calls me a "glass half full" type guy.  So I advise you to chalk this trip up to experience.

But I have to agree with Vasilisa on some points.  She spells out a harsh reality.  Simply because you made the trip does not mean that a woman will be willing to mate with you.  In most cases, it is just the opposite.  I have found that, upon initial contact, women are more than skeptical.  You can smile and talk nice but, in most situations, that just makes them more skeptical.  Until you break through the initial barrier that holds you apart, you are simply an oddity.

A couple of pointers for any future trips you might make:

1.  Show some appreciation for Russian or Kazan history.   Make sure that a woman knows that you appreciate her heritage and her culture.  Regularly you see quizzes on this site from Larry or Mendy.  One of the reasons that they are there is that most of the readers truly have a love for Eastern Europe. 

2.  Imagine that you are going door to door to try and sell vacuum cleaners.  You finally get in front of someone and you don't know a thing about your product.  This is the image that comes to my mind upon seeing you sitting there with your prospective bride.  There are plenty of Russian Language sites that give a basic understanding of Cyrillic and and of many nouns, greetings and verbs.  I remember meeting a Polish gal one time when I was much younger.  I was reading some of the Cyrillic words on a map she had.  She was absolutely enthralled with a Western Man interested enough to have that knowledge.  She promptly told me that she was married three years to a WM and he never learned a word of Polish.  (His loss, she was easily an 8 or a 9 by American standards.)

I would recommend www.masterrussian.com and start out with the letters in the Alphabet.  Simply learn them and their order.  Then go on each day and read a street sign that they will have posted and figure out what it means.  In no time, you will look like someone who truly wants to marry someone from Eastern Europe.  We're talking two minutes a day here.  Less time than you would spend on your sports websites.

3.  Finally, set your expectations according to your attributes.  If you are disinterested in the women that are interested in you, maybe you should re-evaluate your take on yourself - or simply elevate your desirability.  (See 1 and 2.)

Now that you've had a chance to get your feet wet, maybe it is time to actually dive in to the water and actually learn to swim.

[vivefrancais]

Well, I thought this was going a bit too smoothly, I'm just glad I haven't mentioned that I don't eat much bread 

Reflecting on this trip after I've had my feet on home soil for a week now I'm able to see it in a slightly different perspective. I'm glad I've got this experience under my belt which, if nothing else, gives me confidence for the next one.
But there is somethinge else. Baddoo lady is still pressing for our meeting in France & a lady I've been skyping from Yekaterinburg wants to visit me here, her Mum lives in England. Obviously these could come to nothing so I think I'll make preparations for my next trip. Learn a little Russian etc.

ML, it's great that you describe the present time as your happiest, I'm pleased. On my trip I was thinking "get me - going on all these dates". It certainly was a fun time but at the same time I experienced a certain amount of anxiety, probably from the stress of juggling dates, keeping options open for the ladies & myself & trying not to hack anyone off.  It's interesting that people may talk of their trips as some of the greatest times of their lives but they really are just a means to an end, for most. And that end is where one is likely to find true fulfilment. 
 
Thanks for the advice & encouragement guys (& gals).

[JohnDearGreen]

This is not how my friend said it would be. He said they'd be falling over me & the problem would be deciding which one. Maybe a lot has changed in 10 years but I didn't believe him entirely....
I don't think I made any big mistakes...Any helpful suggestions appreciated.

If your friend thought things were easy in Moscow 10 years ago, he didn't set his sights high enough.  Things weren't easy in Moscow then either.  But maybe you need to set your sights a little lower.  Not with the ladies you chose, but with the cities.  You chose 3 of the more difficult locations.  You mention Ekat.  That sounds better.  Maybe better luck there.

[Patagonie]

Salut
Les rencontres en WMVM (write many and visit many) sont toujours une source de stress, dans la pré-organisation tout comme dans la gestion dans le pays.
Si tu as massivement utilisé des sites (et pas des agences) de type fdating, Elena Models, je te conseille de pas écrire trop longtemps avant de faire le voyage sinon elles s'attendront à ce que tu ne visites qu'elles.
Une fois dans le pays si tu as une correspondance régulière avec plusieurs filles, prends soin de continuer sinon elle vont se demander ce qui se passe et tu vas perdre de leur intérêt ou leur mettre la puce à l'oreille.
Attention toutes ces femmes sont généralement très expérimentées avec les hommes.
La gestion du planning quand on est dans le pays est difficile surtout que tu ne dois pas prendre de conversation lorsque tu es en train de dater une femme. Le fait d'utiliser une ou des agences a son avantage, tu leur délègues le côté secrétariat en leur donnant des tranches horaires.

Si tu as le temps  tu peux aller lire "Operation White Panther", dans la section trip (mai 2011). Ca te donnera peut être des idées.

Bonne chance

[mendeleyev]

Patagonie, I love to see that French in use!

I'm not a French speaker like yourself, Misha and others, but I do some work for France24 from time to time and while my reports are for their English service, it is fun to get their French bulletins and share them with a daughter who has conversational and reading ability for French.

[mendeleyev]

Well, I thought this was going a bit too smoothly, I'm just glad I haven't mentioned that I don't eat much bread

 

We generally eat at least a small slice as it is set on the table every meal from breakfast to lunch to dinner to an occasional "supper" snack in the evening.  If you'd ever like an easy to make, and healthier than most, Russian black bread recipe, follow this link.

For many in the FSU bread is a symbol of plenty, a sign that the house is not poor and this idea goes back to the days when some foodstuffs were scarce in the earlier Soviet period and obtaining bread was an important aspect of daily life.