Would you rather have a natural discussion or respond to a list?

[YoungBuck]

I am wondering if you would rather answer a list of questions or would prefer a natural discussion about a set of topics. I am referring to serious topics that would gauge compatibility.

It may seem overwhelming to just send a list, but to effectively work a question in would take a lot of time.

Questions such as:

Do you want to pursue a career?

Describe your ideal man...

Any VDs, etc.?

I have a list of deal-breaker questions from my experiences dating.

[cc3]

Are you a professional pollster?

[Faux Pas]

I am wondering if you would rather answer a list of questions or would prefer a natural discussion about a set of topics. I am referring to serious topics that would gauge compatibility.

It may seem overwhelming to just send a list, but to effectively work a question in would take a lot of time.

Questions such as:

Do you want to pursue a career?

Describe your ideal man...

Any VDs, etc.?

I have a list of deal-breaker questions from my experiences dating.

I'm sure that questions is going to be a hit 

[newjason]

I'm sure that questions is going to be a hit 

hahah

no matter how advanced technology gets, I think no one will openly admit to having the ghonno ka ka kakas anytime soon. 

Young Buck,
That is a question that will come much later guy. Like when you are ready to have sex.   Sending this out on a survey to potential women
is bad taste and going to help you to stay single for a very long time to come.

There is a time and place for that sort of thing. Someone should have explained that to you by now.

Find some other areas of compatibility and save " the talk" for when um .. it comes up.    hemmm.

[Lily]

I am wondering if you would rather answer a list of questions or would prefer a natural discussion about a set of topics. I am referring to serious topics that would gauge compatibility.

It may seem overwhelming to just send a list, but to effectively work a question in would take a lot of time.

Questions such as:

Do you want to pursue a career?

Describe your ideal man...

Any VDs, etc.?

I have a list of deal-breaker questions from my experiences dating.

YoungBuck, seriously....Are you kidding us, or what?
Do you really believe that a woman would be ready to answer a list of prepared questions?
Other than that, do you really believe that a reasonable woman would be able to describe her ideal man?    Well, I wouldn't. 
On a more serious note, I'd tell that if a woman targets you as her mule or has set her intentions other than love and devotion to her man, she will be a good actress and will answer any of your crucial questions to your satisfaction. RW are able to do it better than your usual AW.
Additionally, there is one thing to answer your hypothetical deal-breaker, and there is another thing to act in a similar real life situation. In the latter cases, there are surrounding circumstances that would affect the actions of all participants. It depends and it matters.
Last but not least, a personal chemistry often prevails over all questions, answers, views and preferences. May be you come across a girl who falls for you and would do anything for you, although her baggage might have a number of your alleged deal-breakers. Would you decline her?
Hope I made myself more or less clear on this.
Natural discussion and lots of face time together rule.
 
 
 

[YoungBuck]

Haha, thanks for the replies. Of course, the progression of questions just got into the more ridiculous just so I could prove a point. Thank you Lily (in particular) for your feedback.

[BillyB]

Do you want to pursue a career?

Describe your ideal man...

Any VDs, etc.?

These questions are important but asking in the wrong way will lose women.


If a woman likes you and you ask these questions in the proper manner, she will happily answer all you ask.


The one about sexual diseases is tricky to ask but can be done before first meeting and I guarantee you the woman you're visiting will be happy that you brought up the subject because for most women, a man with sexual disease is a deal breaker too.


Out of thousands of RW I communicated with, none asked me about VD. I have visited a few RW before I got married. First through emails and phone calls I develop a connection and then a bond with a lady and that factors into me choosing to visit her.  Shortly after we establish our intentions on the internet is to find a life partner and agree to meet, I tell the lady that if two people decide to marry each other and have a family, it's important to discuss health and I let her know I'm physically healthy and have no diseases. I am clean and hope to find a lady that is clean too. Always the lady that I chose to visit responds that she is happy that I brought up the subject and volunteers her health condition to me.


 There are ways to get answers without asking a question.

[mendeleyev]

Any VDs, etc.?

Please help the older guys like myself on this one.  Are you referring to Valentine Days or Veterinary Degrees?

I'd find the answer to be very important because the first kind of VD could cost you a lot of bling over the years.  The second however could allow you to stay home and babysit the pussycats while she pursued her VD practice.

[CanadaMan]

Please help the older guys like myself on this one.  Are you referring to Valentine Days or Veterinary Degrees?

I believe it's short for Video Discs  (long version DVD). 

I could be wrong though.   

You can catch them if they are thrown short or even long distances!
But it requires a lot of practice.

It's best to avoid catching them though, because you could hurt yourself. 

[ML]

The situation with VD or STD is that you don't know if you or anyone has it unless tested for after the incubation time after your last intercourse.

So anyone can get tested at time X, get a clean bill of health at time X+3 (or how many days it takes to get results).

That can be reported to any and all; but it has no validity for all sex had after time X.

[ML]

I have a list of deal-breaker questions from my experiences dating.

Many has suggested he wait and ask his questions AFTER spending time with a gal.

However, as he wrote, he has some deal breaker questions from prior experience.

Now, if he waits, then he will just be wasting more time, the same as he did the first time around when he discovered these deal breaker variables.

I would suggest trying to work your questions, one at a time,  into your messages prior to first meeting.  The more subtle you can be, the better.

Also, this situation again points to the advantage of the VM approach.  There, you can discover some deal breakers with an individual woman after meeting, but it won't result in a wasted trip because you have others to meet.

[Faux Pas]

Out of thousands of RW I communicated with, none asked me about VD. I have visited a few RW before I got married. First through emails and phone calls I develop a connection and then a bond with a lady and that factors into me choosing to visit her.  Shortly after we establish our intentions on the internet is to find a life partner and agree to meet, I tell the lady that if two people decide to marry each other and have a family, it's important to discuss health and I let her know I'm physically healthy and have no diseases. I am clean and hope to find a lady that is clean too. Always the lady that I chose to visit responds that she is happy that I brought up the subject and volunteers her health condition to me.


 There are ways to get answers without asking a question.

So out of these thousands of women you communicated with and asked if they had any STDs, how many said yes?

[XMan]

Rather than a natural discussion or a list, I would prefer to have a supernatural discussion.

Have you had any experience with the paranormal? 
Would you consider participating in a seance? 
Do you know anyone, or have you been anyone, who is reincarnated? 

Those could be good conversation starters.

[BillyB]

So out of these thousands of women you communicated with and asked if they had any STDs, how many said yes?

I said out of thousand of ladies I communicated with none asked me about STD's to give youngbuck an idea RW don't initiate talk about this. Then I went on to say out of the few ladies I chose to visit, health conditions was talked about but no questions were asked.


One of the ladies I visited admitting to having a broken bone when when she was a child and the rest told me they were completely healthy.

[Faux Pas]

Rather than a natural discussion or a list, I would prefer to have a supernatural discussion.

Have you had any experience with the paranormal? 
Would you consider participating in a seance? 
Do you know anyone, or have you been anyone, who is reincarnated? 

Those could be good conversation starters.

 

[Faux Pas]

I said out of thousand of ladies I communicated with none asked me about STD's to give youngbuck an idea RW don't initiate talk about this. Then I went on to say out of the few ladies I chose to visit, health conditions was talked about but no questions were asked.


One of the ladies I visited admitting to having a broken bone when when she was a child and the rest told me they were completely healthy.

The one about sexual diseases is tricky to ask but can be done before first meeting and I guarantee you the woman you're visiting will be happy that you brought up the subject because for most women, a man with sexual disease is a deal breaker too.

Quit crawfishing Billy. Your post would lead one to believe that you asked the thousands of women you communicated with about their health, i.e. STDs in particular. Did you or did you not ask these thousands of ladies if they had STDs? My question to you was, how many (just a rough estimation would do) answered yes, they have an STD?

Youngbuck, this exercise of mine is to point out to you that there are still loads of bullshit on the forum to be separated from truth and Billy is a purveyor of both. Discussion of STDs while a needed conversation at some point, is a personal area and not a topic to be discussed early into communications with any women no matter where you find her. It is not only worthy but mandatory of discussion with a woman you will most certainly sleep with. It is also an area/issue that requires some measure of tact and decorum. Billy has neither

[CDW]

Victory Day

[GQBlues]

YB-
 
Sometimes it's good getting informed (by reading through sites like RWD for instance) is a good thing. Sometimes. If it entails general travel information, in-country navigation, immigration, etc...RWD is a wonderful site.
 
But when it comes to interacting with women, or any other social disposition - please be wary as there's a point where too much information is not necessarily a good thing considering the overall makeshift of the membership. The-more-you-know-the-less-you-understand syndrome. Especially when the source of your information come from a place saturated with biased and/or deluded *opinion*. Or, and just as bad, advice from folks who are as much green about the subject as the people they're attempting to educate. Sort of like the blind leading the blind scenario.
 
Would you embrace getting dating tips from people who couldnt get a date themself?
 
Exactly.

[BillyB]

Your post would lead one to believe that you asked the thousands of women you communicated with about their health, i.e. STDs in particular.

Out of thousands of RW I communicated with, none asked me about VD.

Anybody else have reading comprehension problems?

this exercise of mine is to point out to you that there are still loads of bullshit on the forum to be separated from truth

You're right about this quote.

[Faux Pas]

These questions are important but asking in the wrong way will lose women.


If a woman likes you and you ask these questions in the proper manner, she will happily answer all you ask.


The one about sexual diseases is tricky to ask but can be done before first meeting and I guarantee you the woman you're visiting will be happy that you brought up the subject because for most women, a man with sexual disease is a deal breaker too.


Out of thousands of RW I communicated with, none asked me about VD. I have visited a few RW before I got married. First through emails and phone calls I develop a connection and then a bond with a lady and that factors into me choosing to visit her.  Shortly after we establish our intentions on the internet is to find a life partner and agree to meet, I tell the lady that if two people decide to marry each other and have a family, it's important to discuss health and I let her know I'm physically healthy and have no diseases. I am clean and hope to find a lady that is clean too. Always the lady that I chose to visit responds that she is happy that I brought up the subject and volunteers her health condition to me.


 There are ways to get answers without asking a question.

Billy, you would be the one out of us two with the reading comprehension problem. Exhibit A and I rest my case. Now please answer, how many among the thousands answered you yes, they have an STD? It was a simple enough question, even for you 

[BillyB]

Billy, you would be the one out of us two with the reading comprehension problem. Exhibit A and I rest my case. Now please answer, how many among the thousands answered you yes, they have an STD? It was a simple enough question, even for you 

Read your signature line.

[Vaughn]

But when it comes to interacting with women, or any other social disposition - please be wary as there's a point where too much information is not necessarily a good thing considering the overall makeshift of the membership. The-more-you-know-the-less-you-understand syndrome. Especially when the source of your information come from a place saturated with biased and/or deluded *opinion*. Or, and just as bad, advice from folks who are as much green about the subject as the people they're attempting to educate. Sort of like the blind leading the blind scenario.

Most interesting. Lately I've sensed a turn of tide in GC's deliveries, so I looked back as far as one click would allow to validate that sense. This observation is by no means discrediting; rather, newbies might well allow it to serve as a sign of things to come. There will be change in your thinking and observations as time in service presses on. Part of that metamorphosis can be attributed (the cynical - for me, anyway) through what I call the "beating down" process as served up by USCIS - but more significantly, seeing present reality through a cleaner plate of glass, hopefully, attributable to "growth". Though I've always directed our marriage, I've developed a far thicker skin with much thanks to my wife.
 
So, let's wind the clock back +/- 4 years and take careful note of the change in style... if only to offer a glimpse of what I consider GC's own growth, though some will take issue with my choice of label.
 
 

Bottom line, every advice and opinions you'll get from venues such as message boards are borne out of good intentions. They all have values and merits in their own right. The more the better. However, they will be as subjective as the women you'll date; and as with dating, understanding who you are - and being honest with your intentions and your limitations - are vital in your decision process. Bad decisions are borne out of people trying to function beyond their means and capability.

Anyway, all the women I sent plane ticket monies to all showed up. As a matter of fact, I am happily married ( approaching 4 years) with one of them. Even if I never got married, or worst, hypothetically none of the women showed up, will I do it again - the answer is 'yes'. For me, trust need to be home before love comes knocking on my door.

While I've sat back and smiled at some of the distancing/denial declarations, accusations and retorts (to and fro)...   I have accepted that one of my own personal convictions exactly matches GC's : that internet discussion boards are no place to hone one's dating skills, period. Until one puts in sufficient time "on the street" - and is able to discern what feels right, what works, what does not, and what skills really define one in an honestly objective way, no modicum of advice offered here is likely to make or break a WM's success - that's entirely in his own hands, based on personal experience and level of confidence.

[Boethius]

I have accepted that one of my own personal convictions exactly matches GC's : that internet discussion boards are no place to hone one's dating skills, period. Until one puts in sufficient time "on the street" - and is able to discern what feels right, what works, what does not, and what skills really define one in an honestly objective way, no modicum of advice offered here is likely to make or break a WM's success - that's entirely in his own hands, based on personal experience and level of confidence.

Absolutely.  Forums may be good for travel tips, perhaps even cultural cues, but the monolithic approach to individuals is useless, be they Western or from the FSU. 


I believe common sense, at times, is missing on this forum, and many seem to believe there is a "magic formula" for the work of a relationship (hence, all that PUA garbage that was posted here as some posters' "Bibles"). 


I believe the realization this common sense is lacking in many men who have come and gone is what may have changed GQ's posting approach.  But, that's just an educated guess.

[Faux Pas]

Read your signature line.

You made the claims Billy. You get called on your bullshit and can't answer a simple question. If that isn't enough you openly admit to being stupid. Does your ignorance know no bounds? 

[BillyB]

 

can't answer a simple question.

So out of these thousands of women you communicated with and asked if they had any STDs, how many said yes?

It's a little slow today so I'll do some charity work and help you out again. Read my first post slowly. I never asked any RW if they had any health problems. I was teaching Youngbuck how to get answers from ladies he never met without asking a question. He's right that the answer needs to be known if people are to get into a serious relationship but it's wrong to ask those questions to people he never met.