zengeek newbie

[zengeek]

Hi all,

I just want to introduce myself and say hi.  I am divorced man in my early thirties.  I have read this forum and the other forum quite a lot and decided to register as a member.  I have decided to take the first long flight to Kiev in April.

I have talked some ladies who are looking for relationship on mamba.ru   They are friendly.  I am going to visit Kiev and also take the express train to Kharkov to meet some of them.  I don't know any Russian so it will be a challenging trip.

This is my first time and I don't know what will happen.  Wish me luck!  Any tips are welcome and I will try to report back what I find     I want to thank many of you to describe your trips, it has been tremendously helpful and was the main reason why I decided to try this

-Z

[Brillynt]

Zengeek,

   Enjoy your trip.  There is a tremendous amount of information on this site, and many good members. I hope that your trip is fruitful, and that you find one lady that interests you to return again.

[zengeek]

I am taking the WMVM approach.  I don't really do long talks online...  I talked to some ladies online and have about 30 phone numbers so far.  However, I have heard that once you are on the ground ladies tend to flake out and the actual number of ladies you get to meet will vary dramatically.  So we will see

Thank you for the warm note Brillynt. 

-z

[ML]

I am taking the WMVM approach.  I don't really do long talks online...  I talked to some ladies online and have about 30 phone numbers so far.  However, I have heard that once you are on the ground ladies tend to flake out and the actual number of ladies you get to meet will vary dramatically.  So we will see

I think if you just do phone calls, it is possible that quite a few will 'flake out' and not actually meet with you.  The reason is that phone calls are relatively easy and don't require much effort on either party which, in turn, leads to less commitment.

I did a few WMVM trips and relied almost exclusively on email correspondence.  With written correspondence (at least the way I write) extensive thought and effort is required of the gals who respond to me.  This tends to weed out the gals with no real interest early in the game.

Hence, when I arrive 'in city,' I had virtually a 100% show rate for the meetings.

[zengeek]

Very good tips.  Thanks ML.  I have read your trip reports with fascination.  Maybe I will talk to some of them more by email before I arrive.  Thanks! -z

[BillyB]

I am taking the WMVM approach.  I don't really do long talks online...  I talked to some ladies online and have about 30 phone numbers so far. 

I don't think you'll have time to visit 30 ladies. Before going to Kiev, do some more phone chats with the ladies and narrow it down to a few that you really click with.

[CDW]

I don't think you'll have time to visit 30 ladies. Before going to Kiev, do some more phone chats with the ladies and narrow it down to a few that you really click with.

+1

Thought the same thing about having to meet all these 30 ladies!   You don't have to eliminate these worst ones.  Just to keep them in your "favourite folder" just in case

[zengeek]

Hi BillyB and CDW,

To be precise it is more like 27 because some now made it clear they want to be my guide in Kiev, but not looking for serious relationship.

As per your advices and ML's advice, I will try to talk to some of them more via email so that hopefully they will show.

I found that I got more responses from Kiev ladies, but a lot less from Kharkov/Kharkiv, maybe this is exactly to BillyB's point that mamba.ru ladies are more interested in meeting local guys.

Thanks!
-Z
PS. so challenging to read Cyrillic alphabets!!

[calmissile]

Hi BillyB and CDW,

To be precise it is more like 27 because some now made it clear they want to be my guide in Kiev, but not looking for serious relationship.
As per your advices and ML's advice, I will try to talk to some of them more via email so that hopefully they will show.

I found that I got more responses from Kiev ladies, but a lot less from Kharkov/Kharkiv, maybe this is exactly to BillyB's point that mamba.ru ladies are more interested in meeting local guys.

Thanks!
-Z
PS. so challenging to read Cyrillic alphabets!!

Not so sure how to take this.  If they tell you that they are not interested in a serious relationship, they may be looking for someone with a fat wallet to wine and dine them as they guide you around the city.
 

Billy gave you some good advice.  One thing he might have elaborated on is the fact that any woman that is looking for a relationship is going to want you to be the only one they are dating and they can be very agressive about quizzing you about who else you are seeing.  Good luck on that one.     

[zengeek]

Thank you calmissile. I have read your entire trip report with much interest.  You brought up a very good point.

I wonder if anyone on this forum has discussed the "wine and dine" situation that they have encountered.  I think if such a thread were to exist I would love to read it and learn from it.  It is very possible that even if I do, I still get trapped though 

Thanks! -z

[ML]

PS. so challenging to read Cyrillic alphabets!!

No, just reading the alphabet is not that difficult. About 10-15 minutes a day for a week or so will do the  trick.

Unfortunately, however, that only gets you 5% of the way there.
Translating each letter into Roman letters gets you a word that still makes no sense to you.  Except for a few cases in which it is similar to  an English word.

Oh . . . but it will help when you are looking for a street or metro stop.

[zengeek]

Hi ML, yes I agree.  the only words that seems to translate directly are the ones that are similar to an English word, like "telephone", or ones that have no translation, such as an iPhone or iPad    -z

[ML]

I wonder if anyone on this forum has discussed the "wine and dine" situation that they have encountered.

As I mentioned, I go mainly the email route when corresponding before the first date.  The woman  has to put in considerable time and effort to do this.  If she doesn't write me decent (considering 'form' letters also) messages, then she is dropped from the group.

In this manner, I weed out most of those who are just  interested in dine and wine because it is too much work for them for that small of a payoff.

Of course many here recommend against email and promote phone calls and skype.

Others say don't do much or any correspondence at all . . . just get on the plane.

Depends on how much time one is willing to waste on unproductive dates and even trips; and how willing one is to grab onto the first gal that shows some interest in you.

Different methods work differently for different folks.

[calmissile]

Thank you calmissile. I have read your entire trip report with much interest.  You brought up a very good point.

I wonder if anyone on this forum has discussed the "wine and dine" situation that they have encountered.  I think if such a thread were to exist I would love to read it and learn from it.  It is very possible that even if I do, I still get trapped though 

Thanks! -z

I am sure there are many here that can relate stories about the 'wine and dine' gals that have no romantic interest in those they date.

It only was tried on me once and it was by a wannabe pro-dater.  She was so bad at it, all she got was a sushi dinner and I was out of there.

Everyone has their own dating styles.  My personal preferences and experience was dating those women that wanted to be together and doing things together rather than a 'dog and pony show' at fancy restaurants or night clubs.  The most rewarding times were when you are invited to their place to have a home cooked meal.  When that happens you know they are serious about knowing you better.  It may not happen until after a few dates, but it is a telltale sign that they are probably not playing games with you.

Good luck!

[zengeek]

Hi calmissile and ML,

Thanks for the comments, very good insight.  I only have a little bit of time before the trip.  With my current job vacation days are hard to come by.  I will try to build more rapport with some of the ladies in the meantime then.

Calmissile, interesting note about the sushi dinner.  I think it requires good instinct to "smell a rat", and instinct I do lack. So we will have to see.

Thanks, -z

[ML]

Hi ML, yes I agree.  the only words that seems to translate directly are the ones that are similar to an English word, like "telephone", or ones that have no translation, such as an iPhone or iPad    -z

One amazing thing also is that FSU has the largest chain of eating  establishments in the entire world.  They are much larger than McDonalds and there are usually several within the same block.

The name of this chain is:   PECTOPAH

[Muzh]

Hi calmissile and ML,

Thanks for the comments, very good insight.  I only have a little bit of time before the trip.  With my current job vacation days are hard to come by.  I will try to build more rapport with some of the ladies in the meantime then.

Calmissile, interesting note about the sushi dinner.  I think it requires good instinct to "smell a rat", and instinct I do lack. So we will have to see.

Thanks, -z

This will rule out the VM part of your trip in search for a wife.

However, if you are planing a fun and hump trip, then all bets are off.

There is nothing wrong with a fun and hump as long as you are straight with them from the beginning. They will appreciate your candidness and it can be very enjoyable. Who knows, maybe some one will try to lasso you.

Still, be careful in Kyiv. Some of the local guys are into embarrassing foreign sex tourists. And they work in cahoots with the local girls. So stay with ladies you have talked to and feel confident with them.

[zengeek]

Hi all,

I am planning to use kievapts.com to book apartment.  I did a search on this forum and only found two posts.  Their tripadvisor reviews do seem OK though:

http://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review-g294474-d1799451-Reviews-KievApts_Apart_Hotel-Kiev.html

Anyone has had specific experience with booking through them?

Thanks! -z
PS. Hi Muzh, thanks for the warning. I don't plan on being a "sex tourist".  Your warnings about folks working in cahoots still apply though   I guess anything can happen in FSU countries...

[zengeek]

Oh also, I am new to this forum.  If my apartment question is in an incorrect area of the forum please let me know.  Thanks! -z

[Brillynt]

I have used this site for my current trip.

http://airbnb.com/

[knighta]

If you are on a budget

http://www.dobovo.com/

[ML]

I don't plan on being a "sex tourist".  Your warnings about folks working in cahoots still apply though

Doesn't matter what your 'plan' is.
Many in FSU label all visiting male foreigners as sex tourists.
(It's OK if you are female).
It's the latest current fad.

Most intelligent single men always carry a condom or two just to be responsible because situations can 'come out of the blue,' and unexpected and unwanted pregnancies are the result of not being responsible.  [Women should also carry condoms; but they are loath to do so because it would be admitting (even to themself) they might have sex.]

But on this forum and others, men who take a condom to FSU are irrevocably labeled sex tourists.

It's OK to have sex within your own city; but if you do so as a male after crossing a city, state or [the ultimate sin] a country border, you are the scum of the earth (it's OK if you are female).

[Muzh]

Doesn't matter what your 'plan' is.
Many in FSU label all visiting male foreigners as sex tourists.
(It's OK if you are female).
It's the latest current fad.

Most intelligent single men always carry a condom or two just to be responsible because situations can 'come out of the blue,' and unexpected and unwanted pregnancies are the result of not being responsible.  [Women should also carry condoms; but they are loath to do so because it would be admitting (even to themself) they might have sex.]

But on this forum and others, men who take a condom to FSU are irrevocably labeled sex tourists.

It's OK to have sex within your own city; but if you do so as a male after crossing a city, state or [the ultimate sin] a country border, you are the scum of the earth (it's OK if you are female).

Are you done?

Z, there are some guys who will use the excuse of finding a wife to go to the former Soyuz just to have sex. I'm not going to get into specifics, let's just say they would be labeled as male scammers.

I think they have to be pretty desperate to spend that kind of money going there when they can easily go to Vegas and do the same much, much safer. AND cheaper.

Now, I can understand some people love to travel and experience a week of romance while traveling. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

It is when you (in general) lie and give some of these ladies any hope of finding a mate that this behavior sucks big time. To me they are scumbags, but I'll reserve my opinion.


Caveat: Not to be confused with men who really put a lot of effort but the relationship does not evolve. Shit happens and everyone is aware of that.

[facetrock]

 One thing you might want to consider since its your first time there is to fly to Kharkov from Kiev instead of taking a train, especially if your by yourself.  Very hard to buy a ticket from someone who cant speak English. The train ride is fun though but can turn into a royal pain the first time trying it. The first time I traveled by train over there the woman I was with was confused. If I would have been by myself I would still be at the train station or ended up in China.

[zengeek]

thanks all for the tips about apartment and train.