Perplexed about the five year visa

[mendeleyev]

Same for Ukraine as if it were Russia. Anyone traveling to many countries would know that. That is why we have an Embassy in Ukraine. A sovereign country doesn't allow another country to make it's immigration decisions. If she has a visa, it was issued by an American Embassy.

How are her language skills? That is something easy to mix up if language is an obstacle and either one of you is struggling to describe an Embassy located in Kyiv.

[calmissile]

Same for Ukraine as if it were Russia. Anyone traveling to many countries would know that. That is why we have an Embassy in Ukraine. A sovereign country doesn't allow another country to make it's immigration decisions. If she has a visa, it was issued by an American Embassy.

How are her language skills? That is something easy to mix up if language is an obstacle and either one of you is struggling to describe an Embassy located in Kyiv.

Agree.  I could have been as simple as her meaning to say the American embassy in Ukriane.

[mendeleyev]

You seem way too paranoid. Either she has a visa or she doesn't and either way, you'll find out soon enough if planning for her to visit. Either she'll move forward to travel, or she won't appear. It takes faith on both sides...for all she knows you could be a convicted axe murderer.  Relax and get to know the lady.  Enjoy the journey and if she isn't the real deal, move on.

Personally I wouldn't ask her to travel first. I'd be headed to her because it is just as reasonable for you to spend time getting to know her personally, her lifestyle and habits, and observe her family in her natural environment.  Then I'd speak to her about the costs and procedures of coming to me after learning all I could about her and whether or not we might be compatible in my home country.

[Judges]

Same for Ukraine as if it were Russia. Anyone traveling to many countries would know that. That is why we have an Embassy in Ukraine. A sovereign country doesn't allow another country to make it's immigration decisions. If she has a visa, it was issued by an American Embassy.

How are her language skills? That is something easy to mix up if language is an obstacle and either one of you is struggling to describe an Embassy located in Kyiv.

Her English is better than most Americans.  Probably a Freudian slip. 

[Judges]

You seem way too paranoid. Either she has a visa or she doesn't and either way, you'll find out soon enough if planning for her to visit. Either she'll move forward to travel, or she won't appear. It takes faith on both sides...for all she knows you could be a convicted axe murderer.  Relax and get to know the lady.  Enjoy the journey and if she isn't the real deal, move on.

Personally I wouldn't ask her to travel first. I'd be headed to her because it is just as reasonable for you to spend time getting to know her personally, her lifestyle and habits, and observe her family in her natural environment.  Then I'd speak to her about the costs and procedures of coming to me after learning all I could about her and whether or not we might be compatible in my home country.

Not paranoid; just cautious. 

[YoungBuck]

What type of PhD? If she is a serious researcher, then it is easy to get a visa. I know of researchers who are constantly traveling to different conferences all over the world, so I would not doubt that she legitimately received her visa this way.

I'm also with others here, I don't think I would date or talk to anyone who gives me the impression that she's capable of whoring herself for a visa. Even if it's unfounded, I couldn't trust that person so a relationship wouldn't work.

[ML]

Interesting.  She told me the Visa was granted by the Ukraine Embassy.

Regardless of what she said or what you thought she said . . .  YOU should know that visas to enter USA are only issued by American Embassies in Ukraine, Russia, Belarus and, etc.   

Hate to be a wet blanket here; but in your second post in this thread you said:  "I have visited over 40 countries in my career."

Based on your 40 country claim and your initial buying of idea who issued her visa . . . I have to comment . . . REALLY ?!
 

[Anotherkiwi]

Not paranoid; just cautious.

No - you ARE paranoid!  Relax - you've only met once, and presumably the sparks flowed at least a little bit if you're contemplating taking the relationship further.  I agree that you want to know somebody extremely well before committing yourself to a proper relationship, but you have to remember that you're really still only at the third or fourth date level.  You have to make time to learn more about her, and you have to do that in HER territory, not yours (unless she has already booked to attend a conference in the USA).  You know all about yourself - she doesn't.  You have to be able to convince her that you are the one for her, and she's going to be much more impressed if you can do that half-way around the world from your comfort zone.
 
Stop thinking the worst about how she got the visa - as others have posted, it's not that unusual.
 
Good luck with whatever you decide.

[CanadaMan]

I'm also with others here, I don't think I would date or talk to anyone who gives me the impression that she's capable of whoring herself for a visa. Even if it's unfounded, I couldn't trust that person so a relationship wouldn't work.

YB, you need to go back and re-read all 55 posts before yours. 
The OP did not say his woman gave him the impression she would "whore" herself.

Nor did anyone here state they wouldn't date or talk to this woman (except for Boe, but nothing to do with "whoring").

If anything, people here are questioning the OP rather than the woman!

[Boethius]

Yeah, I'd date a whore before I'd date a (former) commie.

[Vaughn]

It is very possible that the woman is under the impression that her Visa was issued by the Ukrainian authorities, as the same misunderstanding befell our Russian student visitor back in 2007. She arrived Atlanta on a United States Embassy issued J-1 (work/travel) but had never submitted to an Embassy interview. The entire deal, from her perspective, was handled by an organization within her university. She returned to the USA in 2008 and again in 2009, on the same Visa.
 
I agree with Mendeleyev ~ getting to know the lady best happens in her own kitchen.

[ML]

It is very possible that the woman is under the impression that her Visa was issued by the Ukrainian authorities,

Yes, I understand that completely from the woman's standpoint. 

But I was questioning the man's acceptance of her impression.  He said he traveled to 40 countries.  Presumably many of them required a visa.  So how many of those visas were issued by USA authorities?

[Vaughn]

But I was questioning the man's acceptance of her impression. 

ML, I wasn't addressing your reaction at all. FWIW, I am in total accord - most world travellers are aware that host nations hold the trump card in a visa game.

[ML]

ML, I wasn't addressing your reaction at all. FWIW, I am in total accord - most world travellers are aware that host nations hold the trump card in a visa game.

Yeah, I know.  I wasn't questioning your questioning of my question but rather just posting a new question to be (probably) questioned by other questioners!   

[Judges]

Yeah, I know.  I wasn't questioning your questioning of my question but rather just posting a new question to be (probably) questioned by other questioners!   

 

[Judges]

Yeah, I'd date a whore before I'd date a (former) commie.

Why???

[Judges]

 

Like Boethius, I'm a little baffled on the idea that most Soviet women and female children supposedly had to sell their bodies in order to make a living.

Also like Boethius and several others, I have experience in the region during the Soviet period. Full employment was guaranteed. That included finding ways to make work, just one example being traffic officers in little stalls manually changing traffic lights, something long automated in the West. I would agree that in reality that there was unemployment for some, but you had to be a "non-person" and enemy of the state to accomplish as much and and at some point thereafter find yourself building roads or harvesting timber as a prisoner in Siberia. There, a lot of bad things could happen to a female to be sure.

If you were a Union member, a requirement for most, everyone got a summer vacation usually somewhere along the seaside in a "sanatorium" (health spa) or dacha provided by their factory or their Union.

My MIL has a Soviet era PhD and studied both inside and outside the country. She was not forced into prostitution in order to survive.

Not many women are forced into prostitution; it is a personal choice.  Remember, it is legal in Nevada.  A man or a woman's status quo has nothing to do with choosing to be a prostitute for an income or personal gain.  Just because your MIL wasn't a prostitute, doesn't mean that other women with her status quo won't engage in prostitution to earn money, or personal gain.  I want to say, that men prostitutes do the same all over this world. 

Your outlook is narrowminded and you have no clue what takes place in our modern day world.  You should study the Anthroplogy of, "Women in post soviet society."  You will be enlightened at what you read that the old cliche, "sex sells" is even more profound in all modern societies as compared to pre-modern eras of time.   

[Judges]

What type of PhD? If she is a serious researcher, then it is easy to get a visa. I know of researchers who are constantly traveling to different conferences all over the world, so I would not doubt that she legitimately received her visa this way.

I'm also with others here, I don't think I would date or talk to anyone who gives me the impression that she's capable of whoring herself for a visa. Even if it's unfounded, I couldn't trust that person so a relationship wouldn't work.

You my friend are an idiot in the highest form of the word.  You think that a woman or man who sells their bodies to make money, pay for a service , or get ahead, is a whore???  You are a fool in the highest sense of the word.  What stone age cave did you come from???  More like, what rock have you lived your life under???

[lonedrake]

 There you go....making friends left and right

 You do realize they are trying to help you.

[Vaughn]

More drama and entertainment. How did we get so lucky ?

[Judges]

You got lucky with a few fools on this forum that are children and write trash about Russian women. 

[Judges]

Judge (no of a High Court, I hope)

Has it ever occurred to you that she may have her daughter or son in the US and she came to visit them?

My mother-in-law has a 5 year multi-entry visa.

Are you this quick to jump to conclusions? You must be in really good shape.

Hey Hzum, who concluded anything?  Look the word up; you might learn something tonight that will teach you not to open your pie hole without thinking first.   

[mendeleyev]

Your outlook is narrowminded and you have no clue what takes place in our modern day world. 

 

You should study the Anthroplogy of, "Women in post soviet society"

Judges I'm not trying to make fun of you however I need your assistance.  It would appear that the title is still available so unless I did something wrong in the search, neither Google or Amazon have ranked/listed that book or online publication as of yet.

For what its worth, I get to study post Soviet Union women every day. I have a wife, many extended relatives, am blessed with lots of friends, and post Soviet co-workers. My life's work in journalism is focused on Russia, Ukraine and the various CIS countries. I'd love to take a glance at that study, or book, or whatever it is.  Do you have a link?

[mendeleyev]

Hey Hzum

His name is Muzh (муж) short for male/man or more specifically for "husband." Given that his wife of many years undoubtedly considers him to be good in each of those titles, I'd politely ask that even if you don't like his advice, at least honour his experience. When it comes to successfully courting a "post Soviet" woman, there are many members here who could be of assistance but as the old saying goes, "you attract more bees with honey."

[YoungBuck]

You my friend are an idiot in the highest form of the word.  You think that a woman or man who sells their bodies to make money, pay for a service , or get ahead, is a whore???  You are a fool in the highest sense of the word.  What stone age cave did you come from???  More like, what rock have you lived your life under???

Straight out of Webster's Dictionary:

1whore
noun \ˈhȯr, ˈhu̇r\
Definition of WHORE
1
: a woman who engages in sexual acts for money : prostitute; also : a promiscuous or immoral woman
2
: a male who engages in sexual acts for money


I didn't make the definition and frankly don't know if you are just trolling or if you are not a native speaker, but I'll stay out of this thread from now on, so don't bother replying.