Russian Bear - The Missing Source of Insightful Information about RW

[calmissile]

So if the gal was casually dating 3 different men, she's supposed to bring them all home for introduction? I don't think so...

I think so!   

It depends on how much the parents want to know who their kids are hanging out with.
Considering our current problems with teeage drug use, unwanted pregnancies, and the like; it appears some parents just let the kids roam free.

[GQBlues]

I think so!

I don't.   

...It depends on how much the parents want to know who their kids are hanging out with.
Considering our current problems with teeage drug use, unwanted pregnancies, and the like; it appears some parents just let the kids roam free.

Then you missed my qualifiers about teenagers....
 

....But anyway, in the US a girl normally introduces her BF to her parents when it's determined the relationship had taken into something more than casual. Another reason is when the gal is still in her teens and is still living at home...

In all likelihood, an adult AW, one who is no longer living in the same town or state, much less at home; would not 'bring' a man she's dating casually home to meet her parents...anymore, and apparently so, a FSUW would bring someone she's dating casually home to meet her parents.

[calmissile]

I don't.   
 
Then you missed my qualifiers about teenagers....
 
In all likelihood, an adult AW, one who is no longer living in the same town or state, much less at home; would not 'bring' a man she's dating casually home to meet her parents...anymore, and apparently so, a FSUW would bring someone she's dating casually home to meet her parents.

We can then agree as to the qualifier.

What you have overlooked is that that many WM are dating FSUW that are no longer teenagers and still live with their parents.  In fact, I think this is the age range where WM get confused about why they are  not introduced to the parents early on.

I agree that FSUW that are not living at home, are less likely to introduce their dates to her parents.  Probably for the same reasons they do not introduce them to her friends.

It is amazing the number of FSUW that live with their parents up to their 30's and 40's.  Both never married and divorced women.

[CanadaMan]

 As a RM, Russian Bear represent a third source, namely the "local" competition ...

I also greatly appreciate RB's posts here at RWD!

I would however adjust the above quote (competition), considering that RB has been married for over 10 years.

Probably a single RM would be able to represent the "local" competition a little better.   

[Anotherkiwi]

IMO not common for RW to date casually  (sex) three different men, or even two.

Maybe not common, but I met one when flying from Kyiv to Moscow at the end of my last trip.  The pretty young (I guessed mid to late 20s) woman in the seat next to me was working on an iPad (the first one I had seen in the FSU) and I asked her some questions about it.  The conversation gradually drifted around to where and why I had been in Ukraine and Russia, and ended up with us discussing relationships, at which point she admitted to having seven or eight boyfriends on the go at the same time, none of whom knew that the others existed  .
 
She managed this because she had a terrific job in television which paid hugely well and involved travelling all over the FSU and overseas, so she basically had a boyfriend in every "port."  We continued the conversation on the train into Moscow, where (unfortunately) she was met by her mother, and I never saw her again  .
 
However, as with Gator, I would definitely believe her to be the exception, rather than the rule.

[Faux Pas]

I have not read his posts other than quotes in this thread, but he is definitely right about the things he is talking about in the quotes.
I have once "counseled" a female friend (Ukrainian) of mine on her relationship with a foreign boyfriend. Her boyfriend wanted to meet her parents (formally, at the dinner), and he also wanted to be introduced to her colleagues. There was also some additional detail in his request, which I cannot remember at the moment, and this detail in Ukraine happens in "dinner introductions" only on one occasion, when the marriage proposal is made.
I told my friend she should explain to the foreign boyfriend that in Ukraine there is no such custom when girls/women bring the guy over to the dinner and introduce him to her parents with the words "this is the guy I have sex with, his name is Joe." In many cases, "formal dinner with parents" means that the guy will ask girl's parents for her hand. And most parents when such dinners are discussed, ask their daughter "is he a seriously-minded guy? is he going to ask us for your hand?"
The solution I suggested was that she explains the situation to her foreign boyfriend, and agrees to introduce him to her parents, but they skip the detail he was insisting on. The girl talked to the guy, and said: you are welcomed to meet my parents, but this normally means that you are considering marriage. If you want to also have this particular detail in the meeting, you must understand that it is the equivalent of marriage proposal. And if you do not propose - then it will be offense to my family. Maybe you want to think about it and tell me what you want to do.
The guy got instantly very serious - he literally paused for several minutes in the conversation, and said he must think about it and the conversation was over. Two days later he said he has change of schedule (some work-related trip or maybe a visit to the dentist) and he can't meet with girl's parents. He kept dating with my friend for some time, but broke up few months later.


I would be curious to hear men's opinion on this case. What do you think happened? 

He had no idea of the seriousness of his request. He wasn't even close to committing to a marriage and then later discovered when he was committed to marrying, it wouldn't be your friend.

On my second trip to Russia I met the future MIL at her request. We had chai and some kind of finger foods and she filled me up with her relatively potent samagon. I think she decided she liked me then but, she didn't show it. We couldn't communicate but she was not warm at all. By my third trip my wife and I were discussing marriage and future plans. I was invited over for the full spread and met the boyfriend of the MIL. From that moment on the MIL has done nothing but dote on me. One would think she raised me from birth

[GQBlues]

....What you have overlooked is that that many WM are dating FSUW that are no longer teenagers and still live with their parents.  In fact, I think this is the age range where WM get confused about why they are  not introduced to the parents early on....

I didn't overlook it. How can I when this is predominantly a reality in most of the post-soviet nations. Russia/Ukraine aren't the only ones. The same is true in Czech, Slovakia, Hungary, etc...Many of these women live with their parents/grandparents even after getting married, and many still with kids. Some never leaves...

WM gets confused because they only hear what they want to hear. Many gets confused because they drink far too much Kool-Aide. WMs get confused because they do not have the social ware to interact with the opposite gender at home, much less to do so abroad. Lastly, the majority of the WMs in the MOB are just a confused bunch to begin with.

[Russian_Bear]

Gator,
Thank you for supporting. I appreciate your attention to me. If you knew how much I want to comment something here, on the forum, or to discuss something. But, unfortunately, sometimes I can't even get an idea because of my English. I mean, I am always afraid of saying something incorrect because of such wrong understanding. The only cases I could be useful are when someone wants to know something about Ukraine, some custom maybe or something about true life here. As, for example, there is no necessity to have ( to show ) a passport for buying a cell-phone here as well as for buying a SIM-card with a phone-number ( I had read about it before in some topic ). So, unfortunately, I can be useful just for such a kind of information. Not a lot of use But it is always interesting to me to read what members write here. And it helps me with my English

[Russian_Bear]

His posts have been very helpful to me

Lonedrake, you make me blushing
You can always ask me everything simply asking me in PM 

[Muzh]

I will toss out the wet blanket here.

Yes, RB has some interesting and even useful comments.

But, his sentences are also full of 'over the top' statements that tend to exaggerate in both directions.

For instance, view his frequent use of 'all' or 'none' and other such synonyms when referring to FSUW, AW, RM, WM, etc.

At times, he almost sounds like 'Agency Hype' in reverse form, or some such.

Well, not everybody can be so erudite like you.

Let's see you offering your comments in Russian. I hope they don't come out too under the top.

[Muzh]

Gator,
Thank you for supporting. I appreciate your attention to me. If you knew how much I want to comment something here, on the forum, or to discuss something. But, unfortunately, sometimes I can't even get an idea because of my English. I mean, I am always afraid of saying something incorrect because of such wrong understanding. The only cases I could be useful are when someone wants to know something about Ukraine, some custom maybe or something about true life here. As, for example, there is no necessity to have ( to show ) a passport for buying a cell-phone here as well as for buying a SIM-card with a phone-number ( I had read about it before in some topic ). So, unfortunately, I can be useful just for such a kind of information. Not a lot of use But it is always interesting to me to read what members write here. And it helps me with my English

RB

Pay no attention to the only-one-language speakers.

They just plain don't understand. 

[lonedrake]

I am always afraid of saying something incorrect because of such wrong understanding

 Don't worry about it. Your English is fine.

 The only thing I would suggest is to just break up your paragraphs. Makes it easier to read

[Chicagoguy]

Russian_Bear
Correct information is always very appreciated but when you read here you will notice that opinions are also common. Mine are best 

[Fashionista]

I will toss out the wet blanket here.

Yes, RB has some interesting and even useful comments.

But, his sentences are also full of 'over the top' statements that tend to exaggerate in both directions.

For instance, view his frequent use of 'all' or 'none' and other such synonyms when referring to FSUW, AW, RM, WM, etc.

At times, he almost sounds like 'Agency Hype' in reverse form, or some such.

I agree with Boe, he is saying much of what some FSUW have already  said many times.  And it is true that the men here will generally give more credence to what he says that what the females say.  Because we think that the females will often give the 'over the top' opinions.

Now, if RB and the FSUW here would tone down the 'over the top' statements, and more careful in the use of the 'all' and 'none' type of words; then their advice would be taken much more to heart.

And yes, of course the WM here also give these 'over the top' comments . . . but no one gives a sheeeeet what they (we) say, so it's not that much of a distraction.   

I am not sure whether I fall into the "over the top" category, but that's the way it's done in Russia.
I guess one of the way to deal with it is to replace "all" with "many", "huge" with "reasonably sized" and  "sex" with "holding hands" 

Welcome to the board, RB