A long way for BBQ

[Slingerland]

 First, to the mods: if I've put this into the wrong forum, please excuse me.  But it's a trip report, just in reverse, so it seemed like the place to be.
 
I guess I should start out by covering some background.  Two years ago I was approached by my employer to head up a joint American-Russian software project.  My employer has a customer who is creating a financial joint venture with a company in Rostov-on-Don.  In a spirit of cooperation, a technical team from both countries would work together to create the software necessary for this venture to work.  The software would be highly advanced, very specialized, and 100% critical to the success of the joint venture.
 
I have both the technical and business background for this type of work.  The plan was for me to be the project lead/solution architect.  I would travel back and forth between the two countries, two to three weeks on each side of the Atlantic.  I had found this site, and while dating wasn’t foremost on my mind, I read a LOT of threads and stories to gain a little understanding of Russian culture and values.
 
But the plan stumbled.  When my employer’s customer applied for my work visa, it was rejected by Russia.  It seems my entire CV was forwarded and the Russian ministry balked at my previous employment with the Department of Defense.  I guess they were afraid I was a NSA/CIA operative.
 
So I continued in my role, but just from my office in Arkansas.  The Rostov customer assigned four Russian programming contractors with high-end skill sets.  One of them was very similar to me, with a wide range of business and technical experience, so I made her the “technical lead” in Rostov.  In other words, she was my backup.  Marina and I spent a LOT of hours on the phone together!
 
So jump forward two years.  Two years of frequent conference calls, video conferences, gazillions of emails.  During that time we all learned a lot about each other, and shared family stories, jokes, opinions, and a lot of laughter.  Even an office betting pool on the Olympics!  I’ve lead other multi-location teams, and this time was no different.  We learned each other’s’ strengths and weaknesses, learned to respect each other, and developed some friendships.
 
In two days (Wednesday), the new software will go live.  The customer wanted the development team all in one location, and so my Russian team flew to Arkansas.  They arrived in Atlanta Sunday morning, and took the day to start adjusting their biological clocks.  This morning (Monday) they took the commuter flight to Little Rock, and I met them at the airport.
 
Even though I had talked to them on the phone for two years, and had seen them on computer monitors, meeting them in person was still a new experience.  I had read on this site that Russians would be reserved in public, but I’m not Russian; I saw them walking down the exit ramp, I had a big, silly grin on my face.  They knew immediately who I was, and came over to greet me with smiles and Russian hugs.
 
First to me was Yulia.  Yulia is my age (50) with 30 years in databases and Unix/Solaris servers.  She has been to the US many times for technical conferences with Oracle and Solaris.  She’s never been to Arkansas, though.  She’s married with two teenage girls at home.  She also has an international driver’s license, which is VERY important in Little Rock.  Our public transit is lacking.  Her English is fluent.
 
Next I met Boris and Pavel.  Both are single men in their upper 20s.  They are Microsoft ASP developers, so given the time zone differences I had assigned them the web front end coding.  Boris definitely makes an impression: he is a short man (maybe 5-5) with large brown eyes, black hair and a Clark Cable moustache.  He is very quiet and reserved.  Boris’ English is probably the weakest of them, but he speaks slowly and distinctly, and with practice is easy to understand.
 
Pavel on the other hand is over 6 feet tall, like a gangly basketball player.  Red-headed and clean shaven.  Pavel is highly animated, almost ADHD at times.  Pavel’s English is the “speak it fast so they don’t catch the mistakes” variety.
 
Last was Marina.  Marina is the woman I made technical lead.  Like me, she has a wide range of experience, both technical and in business.  Of all of them, I had spent at least twice as much time on the phone with her, and many times more emails.  But I was not prepared for the physical sight of her.
 
Marina is about 40 years old, divorced with no kids.  She’s barely 5 feet in height.  Her body is not a trim, athletic smokinghotkova… she has a well-endowed bust, and curvy hips.  Her stomach has a few extra pounds, but she’s certainly not a frumpy AW either.  She’s in good physical shape, just “curvy”… maybe a petite size 10.
 
But her face and eyes… what can I say… her family is from the Kazakh region, and she has an incredible mix of Asian and Slav features.  Long black hair and slightly round face, but her most impressive feature was her eyes: Asiatic shape with the epicanthic eye fold, but her irises were electric green!  When we stood next to each other, my breath caught for a second.  My voice actually stumbled a bit when I said hello.
 
But this is a business trip, not a dating hookup.  We all spoke for a moment, then I guided them down to luggage pickup; Yulia went to Hertz for the rental car.  I gave them a map to their hotel, and they followed me over.  My company booked them in a hotel in the “River Market” district, which has several restaurants and tourist attractions within walking distance.
 
The plan for today was to get them checked into the hotel, and let them continue to relax and adjust to the time zone.  Tomorrow, we have a meeting with the customer, and then on Wednesday the hard work begins.  I’m back in my office for now, and I’ll meet them tomorrow morning and show them to their temp offices.

[Gator]

When do you fire up the cooker?

[Slingerland]

Saturday.  I thought I might kinda give a narrative leading up to it... Russians come to Arkansas... maybe tell the trip report from the reverse perspective. 

[Slingerland]

 This morning I met the Russians in the lobby and took them to the security desk where their badges were waiting.  They were VERY complimentary of our building; they could not believe a company would spend so much money on the appearance.  And once upstairs, they LOVED the 27” computer monitors I had “procured” for them!  (We programmer/nerds love toys!)
 
While they were settling in, I called over the American half of the team.  Gwen, the business analyst, and programmers Brad and Dana.  Gwen is an expert in multi-national finance, married with grown kids.  Brad and Dana are married to each other, with pre-teen kids at home. 
 
Of course once you get tech folks together, national distinctions tend to fade away.  I had assigned the workload solely based on time zone: the Russians had the website and UI front end, while the Americans had the “black box” business functions.  I always encouraged the sub-teams to share knowledge and to ask each other for help.  After the introductions, the programmers reassembled around a monitor to share knowledge with each other (iow, goof off.)  Programmers are the same, regardless of national origin!
 
Gwen left for an early lunch, and would meet us at the customer’s offices afterwards.  Marina and I went to my office to map out the work assignments for the week.  Reading the board here, I was under the impression that Russians were reserved people.  Marina is not as reserved as I had imagined she would be. 
 
I rolled a spare chair behind my desk, and pulled up the agenda I had started.  Marina rolled the chair right in next to me.  Psychologically, we all need “space” separating us from other people.  When you get two people sitting together behind a crowded desk, “space” becomes very intimate.  Normally I need that “space” to feel comfortable, but I was surprisingly relaxed with Marina almost touching. 
 
I guess that even though I had only met her yesterday, Marina wasn’t a stranger.  She was a co-worker, a peer, a friend.  We had always spoken by phone for many hours, so I was “used” to her voice being “right next to me.”  (But a telephone can’t carry the scent of her perfume.)
 
After a quick lunch, we drove to the customer’s offices for a kick-off meeting (two cars.)  I introduced everybody to the customer, and each one of them said a little something.  Boris said the least, of course, while Marina was more eloquent.  Pavel spoke simply, clearly controlling his hyper energy.  Yulia spoke the most, charming the clients with a story about being arrested years ago when driving through Texas.
 
Once the meeting was over, Gwen, Marina and I stayed with the customer for an additional meeting.  After the second meeting, Gwen needed to leave early again, so Marina rode with me back to the office.  I was raised in the South, and taught Southern manners by my mother and grandmother.  So as Marina and I are leaving the building, out of habit I opened the car door for her.  She was surprised for a moment, then smiled shyly and said “thank you.”  I don’t drive a fancy car (Chevy HHR.)  Marina liked it, and was fascinated by the Sirius/XM radio.
 
At the office, the programmers were pretending to be busy looking through each other’s code, perfectly happy.  Marina and I went over our lists to see if anything had been forgotten before the big day tomorrow.  It was too late for programming changes of course, but I always get a feeling of stage fright and jitters the day before.
 
After work, the American team went home, but I went out to eat with the Russian team.  We found a food/drink tavern in walking distance of their hotel for burgers, fries, wings and beer accompanied by lots of small talk, family talk, thoughts about “going live” in the morning.  The young waitress flirted A LOT with Pavel.  After a bit he went to the bar, SUPPOSEDLY to get some more drinks, but in reality he bailed on us to chase the waitress.  We watched him from the table and shared a chuckle.  Marina drew the task of ordering the drinks that Pavel forgot about.
 
After a few minutes, Yulia nudged me and nodded to the bar.  A man was talking to Marina and she was trying to get our attention to rescue her.  (What can I say?  I’m brain dead sometimes.)  I quickly went to the bar; she looked at the man and said, “Thank you, but boyfriend is here now.”  She put her arm around my waist and hugged me.
 
Day-um!… with the touch of her arm around me, my hormones lit off like gasoline on a fire.  To play the part, I reached back around her.  My arm around her, my hand resting on her upper hip felt… well… fantastic!  She pressed against me as we walked across the room; once back at the table, she left her hand resting on my arm in full view of the guy at the bar.
 
Our drinks arrived: Coke for me (driving home), beers for Boris and Yulia, and amaretto for Marina.  We had a new waitress, however.  Looking across the room, Pavel was deep in conversation with our first waitress.  The others followed my line of sight, and Boris said something obviously sarcastic in Russian.  Yulia laughed, Marina snickered but a bit embarrassed.  I looked at Boris with a question in my eyes.
 
“Pavel likes scoring waitress,” Boris explained in his short English.  “Everywhere we go, Pavel goes for waitress.”  Yulia said something else to him in Russian, which I think was mildly admonishing.  So to make sure Boris knew he wasn’t in trouble, I asked in a gossipy tone: “What’s his success rate?”
 
Boris shrugged again, and rocked his hand in the air: 50-50.  Hell, that’s better than me the past few years.
 
I haven’t been on a date for a while… don’t get me wrong, I’ve been dating on and off since I first found this site a couple of years ago.  I just haven’t found the right woman.  I’m not a typical Arkansas redneck; hunting and fishing don’t mean much to me.  I enjoy being outdoors, but I prefer a B&B to a pup tent.  I enjoy technology, I enjoy photography, I love reading and I love classic rock and jazz.  Finding a single woman in Arkansas with matching and complimentary interests has been hard.  And to be honest, I’m much more attracted by Asian than Caucasian women.
 
My eyes looked into Marina’s beautiful green eyes, my heart felt the warmth of her smile, my arm felt the tingle of her touch; and now that I’m home for the night, in the back of my mind, part of me wished we weren’t pretending.
 

[Gator]

Excellent and unusual trip report.  Entertaining, interesting and well written.   You are not the typical Razorback.
 

Psychologically, we all need “space” separating us from other people.  When you get two people sitting together behind a crowded desk, “space” becomes very intimate.  Normally I need that “space” to feel comfortable, but I was surprisingly relaxed with Marina almost touching.     

Russian sense of space differs from ours.  If you lived in a crowded high rise, shared a small flat with your family, and rode a jammed bus to work, your "space" needs would diminish.  But wait.......there is more.  RW are not shy (reserved)when around someone they like, and they want to be near that someone.
 

      My eyes looked into Marina’s beautiful green eyes, my heart felt the warmth of her smile, my arm felt the tingle of her touch; and now that I’m home for the night, in the back of my mind, part of me wished we weren’t pretending.   

No one is pretending.  RW are direct and do not play games, especially if 40-yo.   
 
A fire is building in her.  It became larger when you placed your hand on her upper hip.   She pressed against you and placed her arm on you not to dissuade the man at the bar, but to show her affection for you. 
 
All these special thoughts that you are expressing to us, well say them to her, not us.  When you do, I expect you to not have time to write the next installment of this report.
 
Finally,  for the BBQ Saturday at your place, make sure you have cleaned your home, really cleaned it.   That includes fresh towels and bed linens.  In fact, today is Wednesday, at this rate you will need those clean sheets well before Saturday.
 
Also, don't ask about boyfriends, husbands, etc. (unless she brings it up).  Who cares at this moment!

[Faux Pas]

Slinger
Take them so Sonny Williams. At least feed them a big piece of good dead cow before they leave. Sounds like you took them to the Flying Saucer?

[Vaughn]

It wouldn't hurt when in a moment alone together, to address her as Marinochka, with the stress on the second syllable. It's affectionate, but not over the top.
 
Great read. Don't disappear on us.

[Slingerland]

 Today is go-live.  Faux Pas, you are right, we were at the Saucer last night.  Pavel looks sleepy… I left early last night; the team said he was still trying to pick up the waitress after they left.  I’m guessing Pavel added another waitress to his score card.  Hopefully a good memory of his American visit!
 
Sonny Williams is tempting, but my boss says it is too expensive to take the team  . 
 
I’m reminded of Milton’s quote: “They also serve who only stand and wait.”  Today Marina and I were back and forth to the customer site.  The programmers stayed back in the bullpen and waited for the users to report any problems with the new software.  And so far, that’s what’s happening.  The software appears to be working correctly. 
 
We’re all going to stay at my office through the evening and watch the nighttime batch processing run.  Tomorrow Marina and I have meetings most of the day at the customer site, to discuss the next phase of software enhancements.  Right now Marina and the Russians are looking through Pei Wei’s menu; I’m going to order a big take out dinner when she comes back with their list.
 
Looks like hard weather tonight.  Tornado warnings north of Russellville, and I can hear some rubles outside.  The Russians have never seen tornadoes, and they’re understandably worried.
 
Gator and Vaughn, your insights are priceless.  With so much pressure on this project, and with my tendencies to be obtuse, I’m unsure how to proceed.  Normally I make the first move, but Marina is not being reticent about showing interest.  Maybe she just is a natural flirt?
 
I know that under normal circumstances I would absolutely make the next move.  But this isn’t a normal time; we have to keep working together the rest of the week.  If I’m wrong and she’s not really interested, then our working relationship could go sour.
 
Phone call from the bullpen… software issue… back to work…
 

[Faux Pas]

Slinger
Your boss is a cheap bastid. Sometimes it's better to ask forgiveness than permission. I have a plate on the wall at Saucer. Just as you enter the front door, slightly left and 8-9 ft high. It will say Tuck Fech.

Don't expect Marina ask you, she won't. Invite her out alone after work and see where it goes. My bet is, you'll be surprised. 

[Belvis]

No one is pretending.

Yeah, agree. I can't  believe 40-yo RW would let touching her just to avoid attention of a stranger. Have you told her already you're struck by her eyes? Consider it as the next move.  Btw, you'll never offend RW showing romantic affection to her, even if she's not interested in you.

[YoungBuck]

For a programmer you have a way with words!

[Larry1]

Looks like hard weather tonight.  Tornado warnings north of Russellville, and I can hear some rubles outside.   

Funny slip.

I agree with the guys above: she is sending you signals.  If you're up for this, don't be shy about pursuing her.

[Faux Pas]

For a programmer you have a way with words!

Using them to his advantage does however, seem a bit problematic for ole Slinger 

Get her alone already. Forget she's Russian, she's a woman

[Slingerland]

 The Russians were really worried about the weather tonight.  Dana rolled a TV into the bullpen and watched the local stations’ weather coverage.  The Russians were fascinated... and maybe horrified by... the way our news media jumped all over the Botkinburg tornado.
 
There is a bug in the software, but not a fatal one.  When it first occurred, Boris (in his soft, taciturn English) said “It interface through TIBCO.”  (TIBCO is a file transport agency infamous for its cheap price and bad support.)  Brad and Dana weren’t convinced, and with huge XLM files, it would take a while for them to analyze and agree.  I put all four of them reviewing the data dump. 
 
While the programmers worked, I called an order for a boatload of take-out from Pei Wei; Marina and I drove to pick it up.  She loves the Sirius/XM radio.  “Robert,” she said, “May I explore through radio stations?”  She found a soft jazz station.  We probably should have listened to a local station due to the weather but I intended to be safely back to the office before the storms hit.
 
Oops…
 
With so much food the order took longer than I expected.  We had to wait a while, and once everything was ready we loaded up… just as the storm broke.  My HHR is a light vehicle, and the wind shears around the downtown buildings shoved us around a bit.  Marina was nervous during the drive, clutching the arm rest. 
 
We got to the office and I parked as close as possible to the front door.  It was raining heavily, I was trying to juggle an umbrella over both of us, and together we were trying to carry the food bags.  The balancing act wasn’t working well and with the wind veering we were getting soaked.  Finally I reached around her waist and pulled her in tight, and she grabbed around mine, and somehow we managed to get inside.  We were soaked, but the food was not harmed! 
 
In the elevator, Marina was shivering from the A/C.  She looked up to me in embarrassment “Is cold!”  I grinned and hugged her close to “warm her up.”  She laughed, leaned against me and I gently stroked her back and side.  We stayed that way through the elevator ride.  She's barely 5 feet tall, and I'm 5-9, so her head fit perfectly in the nook between my neck and shoulder.
 
We walked into the bullpen.  Boris looked up with a smug smile, and simply said “Solved.  TIBCO suck donkey.”  Dana choked back her laughter as she said “I’m writing a patch to compensate for their problem, give me 30 minutes.”  Brad explained the problem in detail to us while we unpacked the buffet.  (Tomorrow I intend to have a bitch slap session with TIBCO.)
 
The fix worked, and I ordered it into production.  We sat back until about 9:30 PM, watching the evening processing run without any more hitches.  Then, the rain past, we dragged our weary selves back to our respective home/hotels.  Starting tomorrow, the customer’s tech support will watch the nighttime processing.
 
Also tomorrow Gwen, Marina and I have meetings most of the day with the customer.  This rollout was phase 1, but there is still maintenance and code upgrades to consider.  During a two-year development project, business needs can change.  But the contract says I roll off this project in three months… this is normal in my job.  I get the heavy development done, and then I go to a new project.  Gwen and Marina stay on indefinitely, so tomorrow they’ll be taking point with the customer.
 
To everybody... consider the elevator my first signal sent… and apparently received well.  I know I'm moving slowly, but getting this project off the launch pad had to be my priority.  Free time will become available the next few days.  I know I'm really interested in her, and she seems to feel the same way.
 
In my other thread, Traveler suggested I try to find some Baltika beer.  I found some in Memphis.  A friend of mine is coming to LR for business on Friday, and he offered to bring me a case.  His price: half the case plus gas.  So I asked him to buy two cases. 
 
FP, don’t forget the boss is approving me to do BBQ.  A brisket point, babyback ribs and chicken, plus sides.  It’s an unusual thing to run pass the bean counters in Accounting.  And there are IRS guidelines to deal with, too.  And I think the BBQ will be more memorable to them.
 
Last to Gator: I have a maid service for my house.  I’m taking off early on Friday to pick up the BBQ supplies and take care of last minute cleaning.

[Patagonie]

It is nice that you are capable to analyze signs of interest, a lot of men miss it (or never write about it).
Good TR.

[mendeleyev]

My eyes looked into Marina’s beautiful green eyes, my heart felt the warmth of her smile, my arm felt the tingle of her touch; and now that I’m home for the night, in the back of my mind, part of me wished we weren’t pretending.

Along with the others, I enjoy your writing style.

My first degree was from John Brown University in NW Arkansas although I didn't grow up in the area, most Arkansans are polite and not as pushy in comparison with other parts of the world. As others have mentioned, this gal is interested but you need to step up your game otherwise she will read your politeness as disinterest.

Understandably you have work protocol to observe at the office but if you have interest for this girl, and you do from your description of your moments together, you should express that the next time you are alone. Get it out in the open and see where it leads. Most RW are not going to lay their heads against your chest in the elevator unless they've seen qualities in you that they like, really like a lot.

Advice at this stage: not only share with her your mutual interest, but also ask when would be a good time to visit her in the near future.

[ML]

As others have mentioned, this gal is interested but you need to step up your game otherwise she will read your politeness as disinterest.

Interesting phenomena I encountered yesterday.

Friend and I went to a University baseball game (my Gal had to stay  home to study).

About half the crowd were University students.  And it seemed that many of them came in mixed groups of guys and gals without pairing up.

In at least two incidents, my friend and I were almost in disbelief at the non-action of the guys when the gals were trying to initiate something  to move beyond the 'group' friendship to something more of a 'pairing' friendship.

Note:  I would rate the guys and gals involved at something like 4-7 on the looks scale.  i.e. No really hot chicks and no stud muffins. 19 - 21 years of age.

Right in front of us was a row of about 5 guys sitting together, and on  the very end was a gal.  The guy beside her mostly kept his head turned from the gal and gabbing to his guy friends about various things.  The gal kept trying to lean into his conversation with others,  but he mostly ignored her.  Sometimes she touched his arm and asked him a direct question.  He would give her a one word answer, and then turn back to the guys.

And in the row below the guys, was a guy sitting by himself.  He also spent a lot of time turned around gabbing with the guys behind him.  Then we observed one gal get up from a group of 5-6 gals and come up to sit beside this guy.  She was all bubbly looking, but he merely gave brief acknowledgement to her presence and went back to talking with  the guys.

My friend said:  Holy sheeeeet . . . just think how we could clean up  with the gals today if we were young enough to hang with them.

Don't know the story about the backgrounds of the guys; but obviously they had zero experience with gals and weren't picking up on any signals at all.

[Slingerland]

 This morning I arrived early at the office and went straight to the “bullpen” where the Russian cubicles are together.  Only Marina and Yulia had arrived so far.  They were quietly discussing something, and didn’t hear me approaching.  I heard my name mentioned, so I scuffed my shoes on the floor so they would hear me.  They abruptly stopped talking to say “Good morning” to me.  Marina had an embarrassed look on her face but quickly covered it up.  Yulia has a better poker face, but still had a “knowing” look.
 
Nighttime processing ran fine, so Boris and Pavel were coming in a bit late.  In fact, Yulia told me that Pavel had arranged a date with his waitress friend for tonight after work!  It’s normal that after a few days in such close company, everybody wants to get a bit of time on their own.
 
I know you guys are pressing me to move forward.  Trust me; I see the interest is there now.  But remember this is corporate America… my company has rules about dating.  Brad and Dana are an exception to the rule, but they had to sign papers covering their relationship.  So after saying my good mornings, I went through the employee handbook in my office.  Bottom line: there is no rule against dating somebody in another company (even a subcontractor), but there is a rule against dating anybody where one has a supervisory role over the other.  Like right now… I’m the solutions architect, and I control Marina’s workload and assignments.  But there are exceptions to this, too.
 
The best one is this: I go to another project in three months.  In three months, no conflict at all.  I’m reminded of another quote: “Slowly, slowly, catchee monkey.”  If this is going to be something other than a one-shot weekend romance, then Marina and I need to take time to let things happen naturally.  After all, it’s not like we can go out casually every Saturday night.
 
Then it was time to go to the customer’s office.  Marina and I spent the entire day with the customer, discussing the next phase of the software enhancements.  Most of this work will be done in Rostov, not here.  Gwen and Dana will stay on the project, Brad is rolling off the month before me.
 
During the meetings, I sat back so it was all Gwen and Marina’s show.  The customer was VERY happy with Marina’s comments and suggestions.  Marina is quite brilliant, and understands commodity and currency trading far better than a person from the former Communist Bloc would be expected to.  Then again, she grew up during the fall and shaky aftermath.
 
After the meetings, Marina called Yulia to check in.  Gwen went straight home, Brad and Dana had a school function for their kids, Pavel was getting ready for his date, and Yulia/Boris were going to grab a sandwich and go relax in their rooms.  So tonight it was just going to be Marina and me.  Alone together for the evening.
 
I looked at her and asked with a warm smile, “Would you like to go someplace nice for dinner?”
 
(to be continued shortly...)

[Slingerland]

 I took Marina to a romantic, Italian hole-in-the-wall restaurant.  I’ve known the owners for almost twenty years, and they are used to my food allergies.  I called ahead to reserve a table and when we arrived, the setting was perfect!  It was a small table for two, off the main path in the restaurant, with a lot of privacy.  The table was candlelit, and the atmosphere was very romantic.  Of course remembering my manners, I held her chair for her, which she liked.
 
We ordered, and after a bit of office talk, started sharing things about ourselves.  Marina’s mother was from St. Petersburg and her father from Almaty.  They met in college at Rostov, fell in love and stayed in the city to work.  Marina’s mother had trouble conceiving children, so Marina ended up an only child.  Marina had married in her late 20s, but like her mother had trouble getting pregnant.  Marina finally conceived a child, but lost it through a very bad miscarriage.  She was never able to get pregnant again, and her husband divorced her.  Marina’s parents died in a car accident the following year.
 
She’s tried to date since, but without success.  The Russian men she met only wanted her for a mistress. She’s travelled some in Europe, but never dated anybody not from Rostov.
 
The food arrived, so we changed gears and I told her more about me.  My divorce, three kids.  My father passed away a number of years ago, but my mother is still very active at 80 years old.  My kids are pretty much grown and on their own, but visit me a lot.  My ex-wife and I get along for our kids’ sake and managed to build a friendship of sorts.
 
Marina and have a lot in common: she is Orthodox (from her mother) and I am Catholic, but we’re both somewhat pragmatic about our churches.  We both like jazz, she is more into classical while I lean more towards classic rock.  She plays piano, and I took lessons as a child (my daughter Lori is VERY talented at piano.)  We both have a cat; we’re both non-smokers, social drinkers.
 
The restaurant owner took great care of us!  It was a slow night, so she kept the tables around us empty, giving us all the privacy we needed.  We took our time over dinner and wine, enjoying each other’s company.  It was well after dark when we ordered dessert.  I suggested she try a chocolate crème brulee, which she LOVED.
 
It was a wonderful evening: comfortable pace, getting to know each other more.  Since yesterday’s storms, the weather has stayed cloudy and cold.  We went from the mid-70s yesterday to the upper-50s today.  After dark, the temperature cratered back into the 40s.  She shivered when we stepped out into the night, so I put my jacket around her shoulders.  As we walked to my car, our hands met and clasped.  At the car I opened her door for her, then went to my side and climbed in.  She looked over at me and said “Thank you for dinner, was perfect!”
 
Our eyes locked and my breath caught; I knew the moment was right.  I leaned over to her and we kissed.  A long, soft, luxurious kiss.  We broke from the kiss and looked at each other.  Her soft, radiant smile told me everything I needed to know, that we’re both in sync. 
 
I was thinking of something to extend the evening: a movie, perhaps, but I didn’t know what was playing.  It was too late to check on the Rep and I didn’t want to go to a bar.  But Marina couldn’t help the BIG yawn that came from her mouth: she was horrified and tried to apologize but I wasn’t offended at all.  The travel, the work hours were catching up to her.  I started the car and we drove back to the hotel.
 
Back at the hotel, we walked into the lobby.  Her hands were wrapped around my arm like a courting couple in the antebellum “old days”, and I was trying to decide whether to press on and go upstairs, or to be patient.  I could see the evening going either way until…
 
I saw Boris and Yulia sitting in the hotel bar.  Fortunately Marina saw them too, and disengaged her hands from me a moment before they saw us and waived us over.  I saw Marina and Yulia sharing “a look”, but Boris jumped in to explain why they were downstairs: “Pavel and waitress too noisy.”
 
I looked over at Yulia and she nodded in frustration.  I had not realized the Russians had adjacent rooms… and suddenly I imagined what could have happened if I had gone upstairs with Marina.  Last thing we needed was the rumor mill going nuts… especially if the rumor was true!  And just then, Marina yawned again.  She needed some rest badly, so I needed to be a gentleman.  We all said our goodnights, and I left for home.

[ML]

Very nice write-up; thanks for sharing.

[Boethius]

 
Boris jumped in to explain why they were downstairs: “Pavel and waitress too noisy.”
 
I looked over at Yulia and she nodded in frustration.  I had not realized the Russians had adjacent rooms…

Say what you will, but it appears Pavel is a good tipper.  

[Hammer2722]

Great write-up Slinger. Enjoying the read!!!! 

[Slingerland]

 I took off the afternoon to get ready for the party tomorrow.  I’ve picked up the brisket point, chicken breasts and baby back ribs.  This evening I’ll prep the brisket.  Tomorrow morning, cooking starts at sunrise! 
 
My daughter Lori is driving down from college this evening.  She’ll stay with her mother tonight, she and my younger son Stuart will be over tomorrow afternoon early to help (middle son is tied up on a project at his college and can’t come down.)  Lori is great at making the sides, especially cornbread muffins.  The brisket point is my “payment” for her help: she loves burnt ends (cubed brisket point with sauce) so I asked my butcher friend to give me a trimmed point.
 
I paid my maid service for an extra cleaning, and they’re here now.  The house is straight and neat.  A bit about my house: I bought it after my divorce years ago.  It’s a 1970s two-level ranch, with 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, formal living room, dining room, den and my office.  It’s just short of 3,000 sq. ft.  It’s a lot more than a single man needs, but my kids visit a lot, and to get the 4 bedrooms, the “extra” rooms just came along.  It was a foreclosure, and the price was very nice. 
 
I bought the house next door as well.  My mother is 80, and although very healthy and active, she lives next door to me.  We have an 8 foot privacy fence between the two houses and respect each other’s privacy.  (This weekend, my mother is visiting her sister out of town.)
 
I’m not sure how the Russians will react to the houses.  Will I suddenly be a “spoiled, rich American” in their eyes?  I’ve worked hard to keep the mutual respect and team spirit up… “comradeship” if you’ll pardon the term… I wonder if I’ve shot myself in the foot by inviting them to my home.  For example, I know Marina has a two bedroom flat in Rostov.  She told me that it’s “very nice” but compared to my house it is tiny.  Will she see my house and have qualms?
 
And speaking of Marina… this morning at work, she came into my office.  She was embarrassed about nearly falling asleep on me last night.  But she appreciated my being a “gentleman” (she pronounced it “shentleman”.  I love her accent!  But I think my Arkansas accent drives her up the wall.)  I reassured her that I was not upset about it, that the travel, stress, hard work made her tired. The good food simply helped her to sleep. 
 
I told her that last night was very, very special to me.  I told her how much I enjoyed the conversation, and learning so much more about her.  And I told her that I wanted to do it again, to spend more time with her.  Her eyes were glowing as she heard this, maybe a little misty.
 
She stood from her chair and came around the desk.  I stood up too, and in the feeling of the moment we did something stupid: we moved into each other’s arms and gently kissed.  At work.  And when we looked up, Dana was standing in my doorway with her eyebrow cocked up in surprise.
 
So the rest of the morning was awkward for me.  Fortunately today was mostly paperwork.  Dana is discrete, but I didn’t get a chance to say anything to her.
 
 Tonight, Gwen and her husband are taking the Russians to the Butcher Shop for dinner.  Gwen has a family wedding out of town tomorrow and can’t come to the BBQ.

[Larry1]

A FSUW, barbecue, romance - this TR has some of my favorite things.  And it's a new twist on a TR because the FSUW comes to the guy's country.  I'm looking forward to the rest of your and Marina's story.  Happily, you and Marina aren't going as low and slow as your barbecue will.

[ML]

I wouldn't worry about your home being larger and more luxurious than any of their homes are.  They pretty much expect it.  The gal would probably be more concerned if it weren't.

The hard part will be convincing any of them that you don't also have a few hundred thousand extra lying around to spend wildly on other things.

I have been in the homes of dozens of FSU people, both for business and romantic purposes.  Some were very, very basic and plain with old appliances, etc.

I don't flaunt my homes and don't even offer to show pictures.  But usually they request to see some pics.  After viewing, a few have said something like . . . oh my, I am shamed that you have seen inside our home.

However, I tell them very forcefully that I actually grew up dirt poor in USA and lived in homes very similar to their homes; and it didn't bother me one whit about what anyone's home looked like.

They found this hard to believe because they, like most of my USA friends, think that anyone who has achieved what I have must have come from a wealthy family.  But I have a few pics of my childhood homes to show that convince most of the true situation.

Anyway, to OP:  Don't sweat it !!      There will be many other things to really worry about !!