Kharkov

[facetrock]

 I will be leaving for Kharkov Ukraine tomorrow. I will also be using Mila when I get there. She will meet me at the airport with some other person who will in the future be identified as SOP

[GoodOlBoy]

Good luck and safe travels guy.
When you see Mila, tell her GOB from RWD says hey.

GOB

[facetrock]

Roger that.

[CDW]

Good luck and hope you find what you are looking for

[facetrock]

I have arrived in Kiev. The weather is nice.

[facetrock]

Mila met me at the Kharkov airport. The SOP is a very beautiful lady, Nice  apartment.

[facetrock]

I said hi to Mila from Good ol Boy. She says hi back. Weather looks nice today.

[Anotherkiwi]

Isn't brevity supposed to be the soul of wit?  I think you've beaten everybody in history with the length of these reports! 
 
Good luck with your SOP.

[GoodOlBoy]

I said hi to Mila from Good ol Boy. She says hi back. Weather looks nice today.

Thanks guy. 
 
I hope you and your SOP have a great time together.
 
Best wishes,
GOB

[facetrock]

America 1973

I remember watching kids go roller skating down the sidewalks and streets back then. No helmets. No knee pads or elbow pads or gloves. You dont see that anymore.

Gorky Park ,Kharkov,Ukraine 2013

People cruise by on their rollerblades at near warp speed. No helmets knee pads elbow pads gloves or signs telling them they are required. Personal freedom and personal accountablity. I love it. Besides how could you possibly look good in that stuff when your wearing skin tight shorts or a mini-skirt

So I'm sitting there on a bench. Watching the show. SOP leans in front of me smiling then takes off my sunglasses and says. "I need to know where your eyes go" then leans back on the bench and giggles. Cool.

Its the little things that make life interesting and enjoyable.

[facetrock]

 ENOUGH WORDS!!!! I WANT ACTIONS!!!!

You say you are great cook!! Prove it today!!

So says SOP.

Today I will cook over a fire to prove myself. Something about skewers. My reputation is on the line. However, I might get lucky and be thrown out of the kitchen for eternity. Always a siver lining.

[facetrock]

Hunting. SOP says she could never do it.
Fishing. Da, great to eat.
Its the Dolphin free tuna theory, Save Flipper. Grill Charlie the Tuna.
Go figure

[facetrock]

So I'm sitting in a cafe yesterday.
 We finished eating and I am gently caressing her back.
 She says be careful I have white shirt on and you might stain it. I show her my hands. "See they are clean"
 I continue making love to her back
 Half hour later I look at her back.
I will never know as long as I live where the chocolate came from.

[Shadow]

I will never know as long as I live where the chocolate came from.

The origin of the black eye however is clear...

[facetrock]

Old Soviet Lada's. I love them!! I want one!!

[facetrock]

Tver,Russia 2003

So I'm going bowling.

 Bowling hadn't been to Tver for very long. I strut in. Interpreter on one side of me. Prodater on the other. I get the shoes on. I start looking for a ball to throw a hook with. The alley was new but the balls looked like they were from the 70's. I searched long and hard and was rewarded with a beat up old purple Rhino. The lanes were dry as a bone.

 Prodater and Interpretor flopped around like fish out of water trying despertely to keep the ball out of the gutter. I had to compensate for dry lanes and a ball that didnt fit my hand perfect.
130 for a first game. Nothing good but still about 40 points higher than anyone else there. Second game 160. I turkeyed out. People were taking notice. They had never seen a hook before.
I had it. My compensation technique was zoned in. The lane was mine. 3rd  game first frame. I release. Trajectory perfect. I turn my back before the wore out Rhino delivers its death blow. That beautiful cracking sound tells me all I need to know. Strike.

 I am zoned.
 Total concentration. People were watching. There were about ten standing around behind me. One man said something to me. Interpretor translated. He wants to know how you make ball curve. I reply. "Hey, I'm an American. This is our game."

  No time for small talk. I am zoned. Oh baby baby baby. This house is mine. I cruise to a 232. The Russians look at me in disbelief then give me a jealous round of applause. I am done here. Nothing more to prove.

We change out our shoes
. I leave with Prodater in one arm interpreter in the other. I stop at the door. I look at Prodater who cant speak a word of English in the eye and with my best Bruce Campbell imitation say " Give me some sugar baby" I give her a wet one on the lips. She recoils like a wounded rattlesnake. Well what did I expect. She is a Prodater

[facetrock]

Kharkov, Ukraine 2013

So I'm going bowling.

I strut in. SOP on one side Mila on the other.

I search for a hook ball. I search some more. No luck. Straight ball it is. My confidence just took a beating.

SOP has only bowled twice in her life. Its not pretty

But Mila... Oh yes Mila... Mila has vast experience because hey, who doesnt make a stop at the bowling alley when in Ukraine or Russia. Its like a tradition. So Mila gets lots of practice.

Her approach is like this... Prance  hop hop stop and release. She hits the pocket consistently. Plus she is a natural athlete with very good hand eye coordination.

The war is on.
 
First game I win with a paltry 132. I fall the second game to Mila. I win third. Mila wins fourth. I challenge her to a final match. The stakes. Nothing less than the Championship of the Civilized World. She accepts. But I have a secret. I have slowly been starting to zone.

I open with a crushing high speed straight ball strike. The pins never had a chance. Mila stays in the game but after 5 frames I am at 100. I have visions of a 200. The Tver Incident flashes through my mind.

 Mila looks concerned.

I line up for the sixth. I am zoned. I start my approach. POP!!! It burns!! It bites!! Its my damn left hamstring!! I limp back. Mila and SOP are concered about my well being. I know I am in deep trouble. I quickly come up with a plan. I will use Mila's motherly instincts and concern for her client against her. Yes, yes. This might work.

I continue as if in great pain. I finish with a measly 140. Oh what could have been. Mila buys into my agony and collapses. She scores 95. I am victorious. I might have used my injury to win but what the hell. A win is a win. I will take it.

 I proudly limp out of the bowling alley. SOP on one side Mila on the other. Before we exit I turn to SOP and whisper in her ear " Give me some sugar baby" I plant one. She eagerly accepts, Her body presses against mine. Reaction. Affirmitive. No Prodater here.

[IAmZon]

good writing style. nice change of pace.

[facetrock]

So I'm sitting in the park across from my flat sucking on a bottle of If You Drink To Much Of That Dont You Know It Will Kill You Pepsi

 Anyone ever heard that line over here?

A guy in a white robe is standing by a table fiddling with a boom box. The music starts. He starts gyrating wildly and then I hear it. I think WTF!!! Have I entered a time warp!!

HARI KRISHNA!!  HARI KRISHNA!!  WTF again I think!! I thought  that died with disco back in the 70's
 

[BillyB]

So I'm sitting in a cafe yesterday.
 We finished eating and I am gently caressing her back.
 She says be careful I have white shirt on and you might stain it. I show her my hands. "See they are clean"
 

I've encountered FSU women that likes her man to wash his hands after eating before touching her. Some FSU women think money is extremely dirty since it passed through a lot of hands. Wash your hands more often and the lady may let you put your hands on her with less protest and more frequency.

[ML]

Some FSU women think money is extremely dirty since it passed through a lot of hands.

They not only 'think' it, but they and every semi-intelligent person 'knows' money has high concentration levels of bacteria due to being touched by so many hands.

[facetrock]

What is that smell?

Have you smelled that smell?

That exotic cant quite identify unique staircase smell that inhabits all FSU staircases in apartment buildings I've ever ventured into.

What is that smell?

[Hammer2722]

What is that smell?

Have you smelled that smell?

That exotic cant quite identify unique staircase smell that inhabits all FSU staircases in apartment buildings I've ever ventured into.

What is that smell?

I'm sure we all know what it is... 

[facetrock]

Ironing.

I hate it and rarely ever do it.
 I've always noticed FSU women iron everything after washing.
 But why?
 What is the reason?
 I've formulated a theory over the years to explain this phenomena.

I remember when few had washing machines. Now it seems they all have them.
Notice how I didnt mention dryers? Bet you didnt notice.

I asked Mila if she had a drying machine. She said she did. I then asked the killer question. "Have you noticed you dont have to hardly ever iron clothes when they come out of the dryer" She bowed her head as if in shame " Da, I hardly ever iron anymore, I could not imagine life without drying machine anymore."

AHA!!! I knew it. I goddamn knew it!! My theory is correct.

[CanadaMan]

What is that smell?

Have you smelled that smell?

That exotic cant quite identify unique staircase smell that inhabits all FSU staircases in apartment buildings I've ever ventured into.

What is that smell?

Given that so many adult children live at home in very close quarters in the FSU, I have often wondered where and when family members find a place to do it.

With this in mind, perhaps that 'exotic' smell is simply a blended scent of culinary delights (apartments) and bodily secretions (staircases)?