3rd trip to Russia

[Milz713]

Its been a while since I have posted here so I will do a quick run down,  after meeting my girl for the first time in Turkey last October we have been in constant Skype contact and I filed for a K1 last December.  As some of you might know the Dream Act really slowed down processing for a lot of people.  I went to Russia again a couple weeks ago and met the parents and the 2 brothers and their families.  This trip was so much different from my last to because I was in her city and went to the village to meet the parents and really got a better understanding to how Russians live in other places besides Peter and Moscow.  While I was there one early morning with insomnia I got a email from the Dept of Homeland Security,  her application was approved!!!  I have just spent the last few nights finishing up all of the final applications and proof of relationship crap and her interview is in 2 weeks.  With a little more luck she will be here around the first week of July and hopefully she will be able to see the rockets red glare over lake Michigan.  I can honestly say that the whole K1 process can really put a strain on a internet relationship when one of the two parties is still learning English.  It has been a struggle to get her to understand the types of information I need from her and why but all in all things are still fantastic and I am very excited that we have made it this far.  After asking her parents for permission to bring her to the USA and seeing the look on her fathers face before he gave me a hug I feel like anything is possible....

[CanadaMan]

... It has been a struggle to get her to understand the types of information I need from her and why but all in all things are still fantastic and I am very excited that we have made it this far.  After asking her parents for permission to bring her to the USA and seeing the look on her fathers face before he gave me a hug I feel like anything is possible....

Congrats Milz it sounds very promising!
Let us know how things progress from here on.
Best of luck!

[mendeleyev]

Best wishes to you both. Where in Russia is she from?

[Milz713]

Thanks,  she lives in Naberezhenye Chelny and grew up in Betki village,,

[Shadow]

Congratulations, now the trouble really begins... at least I hope that everything will go smoothly.

[Hammer2722]

Congratulations Milz!!! I hope everything else goes smoothly for you and your lady.

[Gator]

 
 
Milz, you wrote she is still learning English.  As someone married to a RW who spoke limited English, I suggest that every day you take the following medication  :  2 patience pills at breakfast, lunch and dinner;   4 five-hour energy drinks; 500ml of empathy; and antivenom as needed when bitten by illogical stubbornness (the antivenom allows you to recognize that her perspective  is logical).  I attempted time travel and "do overs" but a RW memory is too strong. 
 
That is just the medication.  There is the hard labor part.  Each day you need for her to prioritize what she wants done.  Then  you must  do her high priority items, and if not done accept that your reasonable explanation is actually not reasonable.    Avoid  arguments by using the words "Yes, darling."   
 
There is more.  You need to facilitate (not control) her introduction to the RW community residing in your area.    It is a good sign if she rejects the unhappy RW and gravitates towards the good RW; nevertheless, her friends are her choice.  Very important, you will need to assure her English lessons continue.  Introduction to AW friends is helpful, but do not be surprised if there is little connection at first due to limited English.   Most important, you need to become both her "wall" and "point man" that defend her from all that is "bad" in America.  Hopefully she drives already, if so make sure her driver's license does not expire soon.
 
If you continue this regimen for about 10-12 months,  one day heaven and peace will magically descend to your home and remain there, producing the dream life. .
 
Each RW is different and some have adjusted much easier than I have described.  And others have not really tried to adjust (I know one RW who has been here two years yet refuses to drive and does not take English lessons).   My wife had a good life in Russia,  highly independent and self-reliant.   At 47-yo she was not too keen about change.   Upon arrival suddenly she became totally dependent without her friends, her job, her contacts, her culture and her language.     Plus for the first time in her life she had some medical problems, and while she recovered quickly, it added to her frustration. 
 
The adjustment is work, hard work for her.  Keep in mind how you would do if you moved to her city.   So you need to praise her for every advance she makes, reassure her when she stumbles, and forget the weak moments.
 
My wife's  high frustration derived in part from her strong desire to make our marriage work.  Thus, take frustration as a positive sign. 

[Milz713]

Thanks Gator,  that is some really good advice!!  As I am sure you already know the whole K1 process can be very challenging,  we have had our only real tense moments when trying to prepare all of the documents.  She doesnt understand why they need all of this information and sometimes to convey the simplest request like getting her work history can be a real challenge.  I honestly do not know how people have done this without skype because it would be impossible for her to fill out all of the applications on her end since they have to all be in English and some of it baffles me on what it is they are asking for from the embassy website.  I just mailed everything to her today covered in sticky notes on where to sign and date.  The only thing left for her to do is get her police record and 4 passport type photos and then its off to the interview.  The interview is set for the 29th of this month and I know she is nervous as hell about it.  Lets keep our fingers crossed that she gets a good interviewer!!

[mendeleyev]

There are generally lots of opportunities to enroll a lady in English classes in her city:

[Anotherkiwi]

Thanks,  she lives in Naberezhenye Chelny and grew up in Betki village,,

My first trip to Russia was to meet a woman who lived in Naberezhnye Chelny.  Very nice lady, but very little English.  We were lucky that a very good friend of hers is a lecturer in English at the local University, so she translated emails for us, as well as a couple of long phone calls.  She also arranged for us to go on an excursion to Raifa Monastery (near Kazan) with the English-language students and lecturers on National Tourism Day (end of September).   From what I've seen on this forum, our interpreter (Lyudmila) was pretty similar to many - early to mid-thirties, divorced with a 10 or 11 year old son (who also spoke some English)...and gorgeous! 
 
Obviously I don't know what your fiancee is doing for English lessons, but I would certainly recommend the English Department at the University as a starting point for locating a good teacher.

[Milz713]

She studied English on her own quite some time ago but now she works very long hours as a hairdresser and then has to clean her flat that she rents out like a hotel (she lives with a older woman in a tiny room and rents out the apartment that she owns to make extra money).  She has a note book that she is always studying and writing down things to practice at a later time.  I have been looking into English lessons where I live and there is a University with tons of foreign exchange students and many Russians and Ukrainians with English lessons.  I have a cousin who is married to a Russian woman who lives 5 mins from me who also took English lessons there.  What did you think of Nab. Chelny Kiwi?  I was not a big fan of the place to be honest,  its like the Russian version of Detroit except the roads in Detroit are much nicer..  I really didnt see much of the place because we were busy with meeting the family and her brother took us to Izhevsk to see the Kalashnakov museum and then it was off to see the Russian Champions on ice which I might add was extremely good.  After that we went to Moscow for 2 days and mother Nature was very good to us.  When I arrived in Nab. Chelny it was snowing but when I left Moscow it was 70 degrees,  It made for a very good stroll through Red Square on my last night..





Here is the classic tale of a mother trying to get her son to stop drinking,, 

[mendeleyev]

Milz, glad the weather was good and that you had the opportunity to stroll along Red Square at night. What did you think of it?

[Anotherkiwi]

... What did you think of Nab. Chelny Kiwi?  I was not a big fan of the place to be honest,  its like the Russian version of Detroit except the roads in Detroit are much nicer.

Obviously I've never been to Detroit, but this is a good comparison because Nab. Chelny is home to the ubiquitous Kamaz truck, the biggest-selling brand in the world (produced in the biggest vehicle factory in the world - approximately five square kilometres).  The factory produces 260 of these monsters every day (93,600 per year, according to Wikipedia), and the 2 millionth rolled off the production line last year.  They have now won 11 Dakar rallies.  The parking area behind the factory is a lot bigger than the building, and can be seen from space!!!  I wanted to visit the factory, but just didn't get time to even make the attempt.
 
The city itself, although originally settled in the 12th century, was redeveloped specifically from 1969 to house Kamaz.  The population was around 513,000 at the last census, and I was told that more than half rely directly or indirectly on the factory for their livelihood.  The staff number in the tens of thousands.
 
My impression of the city was very similar to yours - although not as depressing as the worse parts of Nikolayev or the east end of Odessa, it's still not somewhere that I would want to live.  There are a couple of nice areas, in the centre of the city and the New Precinct beside the river, but still...
 
Of course Tatarstan has a large Muslim population, and it was interesting to see that the main mosque is quite close to the Orthodox Cathedral.  They're just along the road from the racecourse which I, being a racing fan, had to visit.  Churchill Downs, Epsom or Flemington it is not!  It looked as though it had not been used for months.  One unique feature from my point of view is that races are run both clockwise and anti-clockwise, with the winning post halfway along the home straight instead of near one end.