From Russia With Love

[Slingerland]

 Yes, I know… the title is trite and silly.  And maybe two trips reports in a spring is too many, but this is what I have to share with the forum.  All of you have been very helpful to me, so maybe this will at least amuse you and bring a smile to your lips and laughter to your heart. 
 
So settle back... 
   
Right now I’m in Marina’s room.  She arrived in Little Rock about three hours ago.  She hasn’t finished her driver’s ed yet, so she couldn’t get a rental car.  Instead of taking a cab, I met her at the airport.  To my pleasant surprise, I saw her walking down from the terminals wearing the “University of Arkansas Alumni” polo shirt I gave her the morning after the BBQ.  She was dressed like pretty much everybody else: the polo shirt, jeans, sneakers; but to me she still carried her posture a little differently, and her mix of features stood apart from the others.
 
Still, I could see the weariness in her eyes: she was wiped out from 30-something hours of travel.  Her first leg left Rostov at 11-something her time yesterday for Moscow, a six-hour layover before London.  She stayed overnight in London before leaving just after down, eaten brunch in Chicago and even with catnaps on the planes she was obviously exhausted. 
 
We picked up her baggage and drove to the hotel.  It was the same one she stayed at before, but this time the room was a nice suite, with a bedroom area and a separate living area/kitchenette, and a good desk to work at.  I asked her again if she wanted anything to eat, but instead what she wanted was to unpack and take a hot shower for her aches.
 
I watched TV for a few minutes, and then got out my computer to so some paperwork for the office I had brought it with me in case she wanted to prep for tomorrow's session with the customer.  But I really didn't want to "work" on work... instead I caught up on my reading here. 
 
Eventually she came to the living area with me, her hair still damp, and snuggled up to me with her head on my shoulders.  She was wearing a different polo shirt and loose shorts, her hair pulled back into a pony tail.  She smelled wonderful, something floral.  Where we were touching, her skin was soft and incredibly silky.  In other words, she was breathtaking!
 
But even after the shower she was still exhausted and sore.  I sat her up and moved behind her to massage her shoulders.  She loved it, and after a few minutes I convinced her to lay on the bed.  I took my time and massaged her shoulders, back and legs.  And as I was winding down, thinking to dive in for some nice kisses, I looked up into her face:  her eyes were closed and she had the cutest smile ever… followed by her snoring.
 
Loud snoring  .
 
So for now, I’m going to let her sleep a little longer, and then wake her up for a light dinner.  The next few days are mostly about work, although the evenings are ours. 
 

[Phil757]

Glad you are writing again.  I enjoyed your first story.  If you can't visit her in Russia you can meet her in Ukraine. No visa and you can see some of what her country is like.  I go June 8th for two weeks.

[Vasilisa]

Thank you for the romantic story, it's interesting to read:)

[Anotherkiwi]

I've really enjoyed your story, right back to the original part where you hoped to commute to Rostov, and I'm glad that it has developed so well.
 
Seriously, though, you need to get to Rostov as soon as you can, to find out what her life is like.  Hopefully you won't be denied a tourist visa because of your background.  I only had a few days there, but thoroughly enjoyed it.  There are some terrific parks, and the promenade along the River Don seems to go on forever - it seemed a wonderfully romantic place to me, with all the couples that I saw (and so many of them in wedding finery).  Admittedly it does have the ugliest building I saw in Russia (the Stellar Bank), but even St Petersburg must have a bad bit...somewhere!
 
Best wishes for the future. 

[Slingerland]

 Monday and Tuesday were pretty much the same.  Each morning I met Marina at her hotel, and then we would go to have a light breakfast before work.  She would hitch a ride from our offices to the customer location with Gwen (the business analyst) and at the end of the day, hitch another ride back.  I’m still the “consultant” but Marina has moved into my old job role with ease. 
 
After work, she and I would go to dinner and the rest of the evening was ours.  Monday night was simple and slow, lots of conversation.  We walked up and down the River Market and ended up near the USS Razorback (a WWII submarine that’s a tourist attraction.  She wants to come back and see the inside of the sub.) 
 
When we got back to the room, we learned about the tornado in Oklahoma.  Marina never had any children, and the news coverage hypnotized her.   The thoughts of little children being hurt struck her very deeply.  We spent the rest of the evening in her room watching TV.  I didn’t stay over, I went back to my house about 11 and a small storm came through after midnight.  Needless to say, we were on the phone during the storm!  When the weather passed she was able to go to sleep.
 
Tuesday night heavy storms had been forecast in the area.  I think that the spring weather has her worried; Arkansas had tornadoes the last time she was here, too.  So again we had dinner together, and stayed in the hotel.  To be honest I wanted to be at my own home (downstairs basement is the best place to be in a storm) but she didn’t want to be in a car.  But other than some heavy rain, the storms didn’t materialize.
 
Tonight will be more interesting… dinner with my mother… first time they’ve met.

[Belvis]

I like your emphasis on details. Looking forward to read the detailed story about family dinner. Hope Marina will pass the exam

[Slingerland]

 
As I’ve mentioned, my 80-year old mother lives in the house next door to me.  I’m her only child and I bought the house (for her) years ago after my father died.  I know that someday my mother will need assistance from me but for now she’s a 100% independent, hyperactive live wire.  During the BBQ last month, my mother was visiting her sisters in Hot Springs, and didn’t meet any of the Russians.
 
Wednesday night, my mother, my kids and I have dinner together as a “tradition.”  My middle son Michael was home from college and neither he nor my mother had met Marina before; my oldest Lori and my youngest Stuart had.  So Wednesday night’s dinner was special and I was a little nervous.  My mother has been getting more cantankerous in her advancing years!
 
So after work Marina and I arrived, the kids were already there.  And in the deepest part of my heart I KNEW they had been talking… scheming… planning… everything to make me as nervous as a “working girl” at a church social.  But I shouldn’t have worried; like at the BBQ, Marina was sweet and feminine, and offered to help my mother with setting out dinner.  I caught a look from my mother: Marina passed the “gentility test.”
 
The food was American Southern: pork chops, purple-hull peas, cornbread, zucchini, squash and okra.  Marina tried all of it, but she really couldn’t handle the okra (I don’t like it either.)  Based on reading the various stickies on this site, I made sure some mayo was on the table, and Marina used it to dress up her plate!  My mother cocked an eyebrow, and took the mayo as an opportunity to ask Marina some gentle questions about herself.  Marina was happy to talk and the ice was broken!
 
An interesting part of the conversation: Marina mentioned her grandfather who fought in WWII and my mother talked about growing up in the Great Depression.  While Lori and the boys cleaned up the kitchen, my mother guided Marina and me to the den so the conversation wouldn’t end.  And there... unfortunately… my mother dug out the old photos of her uncle who served in Europe during WWII… and the cold war after. 
 
I was TERRIFIED my mother would start going off on the Czech uprising or the Berlin airlift, but all my mother said about the Russians was how nice my uncle said the Russian soldiers were.  He was part of the Allied army that met the Soviets in Berlin.  My uncle… an American farmboy… had shared his pack rations with his Soviet counterpart… also a Soviet farmboy.  I had forgotten about this photo, but as my mother showed it to Marina, I saw Marina’s genuine interest: I wonder how many similar photos she has at her home?
 
It was late and it was very difficult to drive Marina home… my own house was only a few yards away and oh so tempting.  And my kids could stay at my mother’s house.  But Marina’s stuff was still at the hotel, so I reluctantly drove her home.

[Slingerland]

 I have a few minutes to type while Marina is in the shower.
 
Thursday night was another simple night; we went to dinner after work, then to a movie to see “The Great Gatsby.”  She had read the book and was generally pleased with the movie adaptation.  The production values were top-line and this impressed her a lot.
 
Friday at lunch, she came back to the office early, and we went to the hotel to pick up her stuff and check her out.  Her customer’s people were all leaving early for the holiday weekend, and we chose to not dispute their wisdom.  In fact, we decided their wisdom was worth repeating, so we left mid-afternoon and went to my home.  Once there she unpacked for the weekend, and relaxed on the back deck for the afternoon.
 
Friday night was the opening night of Riverfest, Little Rock’s Memorial Day weekend party.  We arrived about sunset and walked up and down the river bank.  I warned her about the mosquitos, and sprayed her down with bug repellant.  She got a case of the giggles, and took the can from me to "spray you, too."  This turned into a laughing, snickering contest of stealing the can to spray each other... until some other patrons started laughing too.  Marina turned red with embarrassment, and we "straightened up" to go into the park.
 
She was amused by the “redneck” foods (deep-fried alligator… at least it claimed to be…) and shared a funnel cake with me.  We took the evening and enjoyed each other’s company, played some games, she looked at the arts and crafts booths, and stayed for the music.
 
Riverfest occupies a LOT of space along Arkansas River, with two stages for live music.  And while I enjoyed listening to Darius Rucker, Marina didn’t really connect to the music.  Her love is classical and jazz, but she likes classic 70s-80s rock, too.  Riverfest is just a little too country for her.
 
We stayed until the festival closed for the night.  My tickets were good for the weekend, but to be honest, we had seen everything she wanted to see.  So Friday wrapped up Riverfest, and we went home to shower off the bug spray.

[Slingerland]

 Saturday we slept late and woke to a slow, lazy day.  A surprise for her is that I stocked a selection of Twinings teas for breakfast.  I found out that she doesn’t really like Earl Grey, but she thought the English Breakfast tea was decent. 
 
I had planned the day for going back to Riverfest, but she had her fill the previous night.  So after a light breakfast, we drove to the older section of Little Rock to see the historic houses, and browse the curio and antique shops that occupy the Heights and Hillcrest areas.
 
Marina is very much a well-cultured, cosmopolitan woman.  And I’m discovering that her tastes are different than mine, but they can be complimentary.  In fact, Marina’s taste in antique furniture is much more like my mother or my daughter… Marina likes the rustic antiques more than the elegant highly decorated European-style antiques.  Maybe the best way to describe her taste is that she leans towards the Amish styles: well built, simple yet elegant.
 
And another commonality between all three women: the higher the $$$ on the price tag, the better they like it!  I guess that’s a universal trait.  Sigh.
 
We ate lunch at a fast-food, and then I needed to go grocery shopping for tomorrow’s cookout.  I couldn’t resist, I went to a Kroger superstore to get her reaction.  This store is Kroger’s answer to the Wal-Mart Supercenter: 100,000 sq ft of food, furniture, supplies, etc., with side businesses like a jewelry store and pharmacy.  Again, Marina is not an ignorant bumpkin, but a 100,000 sq ft grocery store can be overwhelming to a woman used to a corner grocery store. 
 
She was astounded at the selection… and equally astounded at the prices!  $2.19 for a half-gallon of milk, $4.34 for ground round, over $1 for a Vidalia onion… and when feeding 6 people, the prices added up quickly.  I asked her several times (but not in a pushy way) if she way anything that she wanted to have, but other than some anchovies she didn’t pick up anything.  I bought my cookout supplies, and back to the house we went.
 
Saturday night, I cooked a simple dinner at home for her: lemon-butter chicken with pasta, asparagus and some sautéed zucchini with Sauvignon Blanc wine.  I think my cooking impresses her; and she stayed in the kitchen to help.  I felt a soft glow, a warm feeling of domestic bliss and tranquility.  While I was cooking, the kitchen TV was playing the local newscasts, and she asked about some of the local events.
 
This conversation continued through dinner; like most Europeans she is more socially attuned, while like many Americas I am more of an individualist.  Yet we found a lot of common ground in political philosophy… so long as we both agreed to be flexible!  And we both have a sarcastic view of the competence of government!
 
After dinner, Lori called.  She was going to Park Plaza mall to look at clothes, and asked: would Marina like to go with her and have a "girl's night"?  So I gave the phone to Marina, and with a happy grin she agreed.  Lori picked her up about 15 minutes later, and off to the mall they went…

[ML]

I took my time and massaged her shoulders, back and legs.  And as I was winding down, thinking to dive in for some nice kisses, I looked up into her face:

I know this is a little late, as it goes back to your earlier post, which I was just re-reading.

But I have been trying to ascertain  the positions that would allow this sequence and view.

Massaging shoulders . . . I am thinking  she is lying on her stomach.

Then you are thinking about 'diving in.'  To what . . . the back of her head.

Then you 'look up into her face.'  Where were you to be looking up to someone's face lying on a bed?

Not trying to be silly here or prying . . . but just can't determine the positions.   

[Boethius]

Saturday we slept late and woke to a slow, lazy day.  A surprise for her is that I stocked a selection of Twinings teas for breakfast.  I found out that she doesn’t really like Earl Grey, but she thought the English Breakfast tea was decent. 

In my experience, Russians enjoy Indian loose leaf teas the most.  It's funny she would like English Breakfast tea, as it is intended to be a tea blend formulated for the addition of milk, the traditional English way to drink tea (always add milk to the tea, not vice versa).

My husband is a tea connoisseur, with a preference for Darjeelings.  The best teas I have found which can be ordered online are from here -

http://www.mariagefreres.com/


Golden Tip Teas has some very good Darjeelings, and Stash tea also has some good loose black teas, but neither compare to Mariage Freres.

[Slingerland]

I know this is a little late, as it goes back to your earlier post, which I was just re-reading.

But I have been trying to ascertain  the positions that would allow this sequence and view.

Massaging shoulders . . . I am thinking  she is lying on her stomach.

Then you are thinking about 'diving in.'  To what . . . the back of her head.

Then you 'look up into her face.'  Where were you to be looking up to someone's face lying on a bed?

Not trying to be silly here or prying . . . but just can't determine the positions.   

  You're right, I left out some details in my rush to type.  Okay, specifics... she was lying on her stomach, her head turned to the left, resting on her right cheek.  "Diving in" was a bad metaphor... I claim my Arkansas accent as an excuse!... I was planning to lean over, kiss her on her neck, then gently turn her over from her stomach to be on her side or back.
 
But when she didn't respond, I got off the bed to look at her face.  From my angle of view, I was "looking up".  My bad for not being clear.
 
Boethius, there is a loose-leaf tea shop at Park Plaza Mall.  I'm not a tea connoisseur myself, I just bought a Twinings sample hoping Marina would find something she liked until I could find better.  The next day she tried the Irish Breakfast tea, and liked it better than English Breakfast.  (But I'm jumping ahead of the story  ) 

[Ooooops]

Earl Grey is my favorite tea, but only loose leaf one, don't drink baggy style (well, only when in hotels).  But Bo is right - try Ceylon tea, it is closest to common Russian tea.   And Twinings has it in bag version.

[mendeleyev]

Bo, I agree with the tea but in more recent times am finding that mid age to younger Russians are becoming more accepting to tea bags for the convenience factor. I'm can't claim to be a connoisseur but am a tea junkie and love to sample new blends.


SL, her impression on the supermarket size may depend on what section of Rostov Don from which she hails. I think that when you travel to Rostov someday you'll discover a very beautiful part of Russia and one that has many modern conveniences in addition to the links to the part. There are at least 3 large supermarkets of which Auchan (next to IKEA in the centre known as MEGA which is 136,000 square meters), Tikhiy Don and O'Key are good size chain stores but perhaps they aren't near her home.

A typical Auchan supermarket is usually the size of a Walmart SuperCentre but of course we don't have Walmart in Russia. They came, leased Moscow office space and started entering into leases in regional cities but pulled out of Russia before opening any of their stores due to a number of factors.

Tikhiy Don, not to be confused with the epic novel and movie of the same name, is a good sized store no matter which city. O'Key operates a combination of super food stores and somewhat smaller stores they call "hyper markets" which average 5850 sq meters per hyper market. I believe that Rostov has both.





In a good size city it is possible not to come into contact with some of the "big box" centers due to transportation issues.

Thought you might enjoy some photos of the stores.

1- Okey
2- Okey
3- Tikhiy Don

[Slingerland]

Mendeleyev, when I read your post, I made a mental note to ask her about the differences in stores between Little Rock and Rostov on Don.  I had misunderstood her... she was not surprised at the store or selection itself, but that such a "small town" as Little Rock had one.  Thanks for giving me the hint!
 
To the group: I just got a phone call that Marina is safely back home.  I have some catch-up to do, then I'll come back to the trip report and bring all of you up to date...

[mendeleyev]

Good to hear that she had a safe trip home and we're looking forward to someday when you can visit her. I think that you will enjoy spending some time in Russia.

[Slingerland]

 Saturday night, my daughter Lori took Marina shopping and out for some “girl time.”  Marina makes good money, but her salary is for a Rostov cost of living, not an American one.  Even though Lori is independent, she is still a college grad student and perpetually short of cash.  So I gave Lori some money and (with a smile) told them to have a good time.
 
Lori is a born mall rat, and has a genetic mutation allowing her to find name brand, high-end clothing with the highest markdowns. 
 
Lori and Marina came home several hours later, carrying packages.  Lori had purchased a couple of outfits for herself, and Marina had found some clearance clothing she liked as well.  And as I hinted in a previous post, Lori bought a gift for Marina.  In the mall there is a tea shop, carrying loose-leaf teas from around the world.  Lori bought a low-cost, “entry-level” samovar (on sale) plus a loose tea sampler for Marina to have.
 
I was afraid that Lori’s desire to find things on sale would make her look bad and cheap to Marina, but Marina was laughing as she showed me her purchases, bragging on Lori’s discount-location talents!  And looking in Marina’s eyes, I think the gift of the samovar… even being “entry level”… touched her a great deal. 
 
Later, Lori told me she and Marina had sat in the food court for almost an hour, talking about living in Arkansas, travelling and… me.  Hmmm… when I asked Lori for more details, she gave me her impish smile and changed the subject.  So of course I'm paranoid about what Lori said to Marina… I guess I should count my blessings that Lori didn't take Marina to Victoria's Secret!
 
Sunday was a simple family day.  The kids all came to my house, and it was a simple, lazy day.  Mid-afternoon we walked to the neighborhood pool/park area; the kids went swimming while Marina and I strolled along the walking trail.  A lot of other families were doing the same thing, and I know Marina and I were getting sidelong glances from the neighbors! 
 
Back at the house, while the kids showered off the pool chlorine, my mother set up the ice cream freezer and made homemade ice cream.  Dinner was a simple cookout: marinated flank steak, homemade bread, various veggies.  Marina alternated between “helping” me cook (basically handing me things and keeping me company) and visiting with my mother and the kids. 
 
While I was standing over the grill, it struck me how relaxed everybody was becoming.  So far there had not been a lot of culture shock; Marina was adapting to the local foods and was fitting in to my family’s way of life.  I was afraid she would be bored; my pace of life is somewhat slow.  Of course, she’s still dependent upon me for transportation, and the relationship is still very, very young.

[Larry1]

It's always great to read another installment of your TR.  I'm happy that things are going so well for you and Marina.

Dinner was a simple cookout: marinated flank steak

I love this feature of your TR.  I don't think I've ever read another grilling & barbecuing TR.

[ML]

It's always great to read another installment of your TR.  I'm happy that things are going so well for you and Marina.

I love this feature of your TR.  I don't think I've ever read another grilling & barbecuing TR.

Friday night I had a few people over for a BBQ.   Didn't like to do it without the help of Ochka, but I was sort of 'forced' into it due to a number of circumstances.

Had country style, boneless pork ribs covered with Kraft 'Sweet and Spicy Chipolte' sauce.  I furnished the meat, beer and wine, while others brought macaroni salad, potato salad, cole slaw, cheese cake and strawberries.

As for the TR part . . . I went to supermarket to get the pork ribs.   

[Gator]

I was afraid that Lori’s desire to find things on sale would make her look bad and cheap to Marina, but Marina was laughing as she showed me her purchases, bragging on Lori’s discount-location talents!
 

Good sign.  I believe this is RW-thing.   My wife and stepdaughter love to shop the discounts.  They know quality and enjoy going through a thousand items looking for something well made, pretty and inexpensive.  Unlike my experience with AW, upon coming home they proudly show me each item they purchased.  They ask how it looks and they remark about how the same item would cost many, many rubles in Russia. 
 
It makes her happy and does not cost much.    And I can play golf while they shop. 
 
Question for men married longer than me -  Does this continue after the closet is filled?   
 

While I was standing over the grill, it struck me how relaxed everybody was becoming.  ......  I was afraid she would be bored; my pace of life is somewhat slow.

 
Slow?    Russian life on the weekends is much as you described.   A little shopping....a leisurely Sunday with the family...
 
I have heard that some wannabe New Russians may want more fast lane excitement....continuous and intense and late at night.  Your Marina has been around enough to know what is important to her.  I suggest you discuss at length what she likes and wants to do.   I guess her wishes will be as you described for the weekend, but also including (some times but not all the time) going to a place with music and dancing....a restaurant....a concert.....something totally new such as paintball if she not done that in the FSU.
 

So far there had not been a lot of culture shock; Marina was adapting to the local foods and was fitting in to my family’s way of life.........Of course, she’s still dependent upon me for transportation, and the relationship is still very, very young.

The culture shock is just beginning.  Until she can drive herself,  has somehow found surrogates for her favorite Russian foods, understands American healthcare, has her own friends, and has an interesting job, she will experience adjustment pains.  It is important for you to remain patient, attentive, helpful and loving. i. e. empathize with her feelings.

[Larry1]

ML,
It counts as a TR only if there is a FSUW involved.

[Slingerland]

The culture shock is just beginning.  Until she can drive herself,  has somehow found surrogates for her favorite Russian foods, understands American healthcare, has her own friends, and has an interesting job, she will experience adjustment pains.  It is important for you to remain patient, attentive, helpful and loving. i. e. empathize with her feelings.

So far she is making friends through work, and of course she has my old job so she has lots of challenges there.  Driving and healthcare still to be experienced.
 
Something I've noticed is that she hasn't offered to cook for me, and I've also noticed she is not really looking for Russian-ish foods... not sure if that's actually important or not, but I'm wondering if she's not really interested in food.  Or if she's a really bad cook and afraid to embarrass herself  . 
 
The other issue has been the weather.  Her last trip here, we experienced tornadoes in the state.  This trip the same, and heavy, heavy storms as well.  When the warnings were issued,. she became incredibly wound up and nervous.  She asked a LOT of questions about whether this is "normal" for spring. 

[OlgaH]

Good sign.  I believe this is RW-thing.   My wife and stepdaughter love to shop the discounts.

I believe it is a universal thing. Our friends no matter if they are German, Polish, Japanese, Italian... enjoy to shop the discounts as well... except black Fridays.

[Ooooops]

Something I've noticed is that she hasn't offered to cook for me, and I've also noticed she is not really looking for Russian-ish foods... not sure if that's actually important or not, but I'm wondering if she's not really interested in food.  Or if she's a really bad cook and afraid to embarrass herself  . 

Or may be she's not a true believer that "way to man't heart lays through his stomach".        How long Marina was visiting?   I'd be surprise if she got nostalgia for Russian-ish food in such short time...


BTW, what is an "entry level samovar"?   Electric tea cattle?   

[mendeleyev]

Oooops, Slinger may be referring as you suggest to an electric hot water kettle, a chai-nik (чайник). I sometimes call them electric samovars myself although they're not a samovar really. If it is a чайник, that is a very thoughtful gift to make her feel like what most Russian kitchens have back home.