match.com and other websites

[fathertime]

Being a young attractive woman traveling to the usa (Alone?) carries some real risk.  Be sure you have reliable or trustworthy people around you.  If you are going with your husband he would provide the protection, but that would be weird I imagine. 


Fathertime!   

[Boethius]

In this thread, we are seeing the undeniable difference between 'most' men and 'most' women.

Women can truly plan to just meet as friends with absolutely no intention of intimacy.

'Most' men cannot do this.  Even as they tell themselves and others that they can do it . . . the genetics (or whatever) intends something else.

How long to 'organize a relationship?'

Well, let's ask Marlon and Maria.

You mean to tell me my teen aged son was lying to me???  Say it ain't so, teens are always fully truthful with their parents.

Recent conversation -

Mom comes home to find son and his latest girlfriend in his bedroom.  As was the case with previous girlfriend.  Door closed.  Mom knocks, opens door and says "Wouldn't you kids be more comfortable in the living room or family room?" (where, I may add, they have total privacy, albeit in the "open").  Reaction "OMG, Mom, we're NOT f@@@ing."  Big eye roll from said son.

Perhaps I will have to rethink that answer.  My talk on condoms was met with a similar comment and eyeroll.

[ML]

To Boe's latest:

Yes, this is just example of denial by both males and females.

Perhaps there should  be developed a vaccine that is given to all persons at age 10 or so that eliminates development of all sexual desire.  Then after a certain age, extensive education, exams, etc., an anti injection can be received.

And, if certain events occur (name them) the person is forced to receive the vaccine again until they are 're-educated' etc.

Just writing off the top of my head here.

But . . . in 180 degree opposite . . . just saw a news snippet that Obama administration agreed to reverse stand and support court ruling that allows girls of any age to get 'morning after pills' without prescription or parental consent.

Do I know 'correct' answer?  No, I do not.

[Patagonie]

I know a fair number of single women, and most complain about the quality of men they meet.  Most would like to find a stable man and marry.  Most are not looking for casual sex.  Almost every woman I know who engages in casual sex does so thinking that if she sleeps with a man, it will lead to a serious relationship.

WOW THE CLICHE 

[Faux Pas]

Muzh, if you are going to quote me you should quote all of the saying.  I said "lock herself in a bubble when it comes to men."   Yeah, you guys are saying she shouldn't date until she is understands herself.  I am saying it takes time and experiences to understand yourself. 

IMHE, it takes much more than that. Reflection on where one has been is vital if one hopes to steer the course for where they hope to go. Don't you think? Aloe isn't even out of the marriage she is in and contemplating meeting possible new mates. Not a very grown up thing to do IMO  She is not a girl any longer. She is a woman and the decisions she makes right now will have a profound effect on her for the rest of her life. Call me old fashioned but, running around with a mattress tied to her back is hardly the route to take.

[Patagonie]

Many men have casual sex with women, in this exercice it is generally a one to one (except prostitutes, threesomes, bangers, but you will notice that more women than men are involded in this specific case  ),

do you thing they do it on Mars ?

[Vasilisa]

Some people can find a great man a couple of weeks after breaking up, some people give it a break and then can't find the one for years.

[Muzh]

In this thread, we are seeing the undeniable difference between 'most' men and 'most' women.

Women can truly plan to just meet as friends with absolutely no intention of intimacy.

'Most' men cannot do this.  Even as they tell themselves and others that they can do it . . . the genetics (or whatever) intends something else.

How long to 'organize a relationship?'

Well, let's ask Marlon and Maria.

I believe he said 'pass the butter.'

[LiveFromUkraine]

IMHE, it takes much more than that. Reflection on where one has been is vital if one hopes to steer the course for where they hope to go. Don't you think? Aloe isn't even out of the marriage she is in and contemplating meeting possible new mates. Not a very grown up thing to do IMO  She is not a girl any longer. She is a woman and the decisions she makes right now will have a profound on her effect on the rest of her life. Call me old fashioned but, running around with a mattress tied to her back is hardly the route to take.

I do believe reflection plays a big role unless you want to continue making the same mistakes over and over again.  Some people are really good at it. haha


But, I don't see her looking for a new mate.  I just see her wanting to meet up with new people.  Maybe that is where we are disagreeing.


I remember reading some stat that said men typically remarry very fast when divorced.  Me, I took time off from dating altogether and focused on myself.  I would say I did exactly what you guys are telling Aloe to do and it was the right thing for me. 


The big difference is my life experience at the time compared to hers.  From reading her posts, she really doesn't have much while I lived in many different countries, visited many more and had relationships with many different people (all types from friendships to lovers).


I really think she shouldn't even contemplate getting serious until she has some things figured out.  I do think she should meet new people and go on dates when she feels ready.  I don't think she will have things figured out for some time and to forsake dating until such a time would limit her growth. 


I see her just wanting to make the most of her trip to America.  I wouldn't be telling her to start dating if she was looking for something serious. 

[Muzh]

You are not living life if you are not making mistakes and learning from those mistakes.

Can you honestly say "I'm lucky to be alive" more than once?

I can.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Can you honestly say "I'm lucky to be alive" more than once?

I can.

haha Unfortunately a few too many times bud.

[Faux Pas]

I do believe reflection plays a big role unless you want to continue making the same mistakes over and over again.  Some people are really good at it. haha


But, I don't see her looking for a new mate.  I just see her wanting to meet up with new people.  Maybe that is where we are disagreeing.


I remember reading some stat that said men typically remarry very fast when divorced.  Me, I took time off from dating altogether and focused on myself.  I would say I did exactly what you guys are telling Aloe to do and it was the right thing for me. 


The big difference is my life experience at the time compared to hers.  From reading her posts, she really doesn't have much while I lived in many different countries, visited many more and had relationships with many different people (all types from friendships to lovers).


I really think she shouldn't even contemplate getting serious until she has some things figured out.  I do think she should meet new people and go on dates when she feels ready.  I don't think she will have things figured out for some time and to forsake dating until such a time would limit her growth. 


I see her just wanting to make the most of her trip to America.  I wouldn't be telling her to start dating if she was looking for something serious.

I know with me and when I got divorced we are certainly talking about a different era. I suspect yours likely was too. Once divorce was imminent I wasn't looking for new people or possible mates. I already knew plenty. I wasn't stepping out until my divorce was final. If I had to go through it again, I'd take the same approach. I won't say what I did once it was final  Of course this was well before Match.com too but, I don't know anyone looking there to meet new "friends".  Usually those are peeps looking for sex or possibilities

[Boethius]

WOW THE CLICHE 

I can only tell you what single women I know tell me.  Yes, of course there are women who are into threesomes, who are bisexual, who are looking for one night stands.  But they are in the minority. 

[Muzh]

I can only tell you what single women I know tell me.  Yes, of course there are women who are into threesomes, who are bisexual, who are looking for one night stands.  But they are in the minority.

Boe, apparently France is teeming with them skanks. 

[LiveFromUkraine]

I know with me and when I got divorced we are certainly talking about a different era. I suspect yours likely was too. Once divorce was imminent I wasn't looking for new people or possible mates. I already knew plenty. I wasn't stepping out until my divorce was final. If I had to go through it again, I'd take the same approach. I won't say what I did once it was final  Of course this was well before Match.com too but, I don't know anyone looking there to meet new "friends".  Usually those are peeps looking for sex or possibilities

Me, I wanted to concentrate on some personal goals when I got divorced and any type of relationship would take my focus away from it.  I am still surprised at what I have accomplished in such a short time after the divorce.  I have only been divorced for around 3+ years or so.


My ex got into a relationship with another guy right out of the gate.  She may even still be with that guy so hopefully it works out for her.  I don't think she was ever single for very long so maybe she is making another mistake or she just found the right guy that gets her.  It is hard to tell.  Sometimes life is so random.


I don't really do the online dating stuff. I looked at it but it wasn't really something that interested me.  Looks only play so much a role in who we are attracted too.

I think the couchsurfing site would be better for Aloe when it comes to meeting friends.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Boe, apparently France is teeming with them skanks. 

I heard sex is like a hand shake in France.  Pat, is it true?   

[ML]

. . . Yes, of course there are women who are into threesomes, who are bisexual, who are looking for one night stands.  . . . .

Are there any lists available?

[Boethius]

No lists among women I know.  Or at least, not that they tell me.    I don't even know any bi women.  I do know a lot of lesbians, though.

 

 
My ex got into a relationship with another guy right out of the gate.  She may even still be with that guy so hopefully it works out for her.  I don't think she was ever single for very long so maybe she is making another mistake or she just found the right guy that gets her.  It is hard to tell.  Sometimes life is so random.

Many, many women believe they are nothing without a man.  Others want financial support.  I'm not saying this is the case with your ex, but it is very common.

 
 

[Patagonie]

Are there any lists available?

[LiveFromUkraine]

No lists among women I know.  Or at least, not that they tell me.    I don't even know any bi women.  I do know a lot of lesbians, though.Many, many women believe they are nothing without a man.  Others want financial support.  I'm not saying this is the case with your ex, but it is very common.

haha


I have heard women have a tendency to leave when they have another man in place.  I don't really know if that is accurate or not for the majority.  It is unfortunate.  I think men remarrying quickly is more fear based and leads to more divorces as well.

[ML]

I heard sex is like a hand shake in France.  Pat, is it true?   

Don't be talking about sex and hands in same sentence.

This isn't 'that' kind of discussion board.

[Patagonie]

I heard sex is like a hand shake in France.  Pat, is it true?   

In the gay world yes, in the heterosexual no.

[Boethius]

I think that's the case for gay men in most countries, not just France. 

[Patagonie]

I think that's the case for gay men in most countries, not just France.

i would say probably. But we will not have witneses here to testify

[ML]

I think that's the case for gay men in most countries, not just France.

As I understand it (the gay guys here can correct me if I am wrong), gay men have the easiest sex life ever.

After just eye contact, the event is on . . . since both want to do it all the time anyway.  Kind of like Julia said in 'Pretty Woman.'  "I am a sure thing."

But what about gay women?  Do they have to seduce each other??

Anyway everyone (including me), please stop posting anything about sex.  My Ochka does not return for two more weeks.