Russian women that are already living in the u.s.? need advice

[frinkahedron]

Hello,

I have been researching dating a russian woman for many years. A friend advised me to try and pursue someone who was already living in the U.S.
Recently, I was checking my matches on eharmony and I noticed a cute girl. I am 44, unemployed and kind of starting my life anew, btw.
Anywho, my age range for women that I am looking for is 30 to 44. This girl on eharmony is 33, so I took a chance and messaged her. Eventually, she responded and we have been chatting, emailing, talking on the phone and video skype. It turns out that she is from Ukraine, met an American guy who was working in her country, they married and relocated to the U.S. Well, the marriage didn't last long, but she got a job and an apartment and eventually got divorced. She told me she has a green card and has been living here for 7 years.
I have checked out her phone number, apartment and work situation. It all checks out. She told me that she has already applied for citizenship and a lawyer told her she would be approved. Here is the sticking point. I don't want someone who is only looking for citizenship. A friend of mine who married an Indian girl told me what he went through and he says there is no way that she can be a citizen, that it takes 10 years (she would have had to stay married for 10 consecutive years).
I am planning on driving some distance to meet her in person. I'm concerned that she is only looking for citizenship, even though she denies this. Plus, I am older, unemployed. I'm a decent looking guy.....................any advice?

All of my friends think she is real, but only looking for citizenship

[ML]

OK so she gets citizenship and you get a gal who is bringing in some money to support you.

Sounds like  a good deal for both.

[Ooooops]

I'm concerned that she is only looking for citizenship, even though she denies this. Plus, I am older, unemployed.

She will get her citizenship with or without you, so don't worry about it.   But I would still ask myself why would this girl wanna have anything serious with older unemployed guy?..   Oh, and don't take advises from friends who don't know much about UCIS rules and regulations.   

[frinkahedron]

Well, I'm just wondering why a cute (not hot) young girl would want a relationship. I used to have a great job and a lot of money. I will be starting a new career and should be doing well for myself pretty soon.
I never got any negative vibes from her. I contacted her, she has been aloof and wants to take it slow and easy. She isn't model quality looking, but I like her.
another question, i am staying in a hotel when I visit her. Would it be unusual if she asked me, after a couple of days, to stay with her? Once again, a lot of input from friends and family. I am not wanting sex right now, just hoping that she is real and honest

[Lily]

Would you like it if she asked you to stay with her after a while?
 
My cautious guess would be that a number of women may not consider a man who is unemployed...

[Ooooops]

Well, I'm just wondering why a cute (not hot) young girl would want a relationship.

Dunno...   May be she just likes you?      You obviously have nothing to lose here, so go for it and see where it leads to.   

[Faux Pas]

As mentioned, she doesn't need you for citizenship. She's already on that path. Your friends and family obviously know less than you. That is not what interests her in you. Go meet her. You have nothing to lose. I would question her sanity considering an older unemployed guy. We all understand your "prospects" but, you are unemployed now. Unless she is somehow already rich, she can be poor by herself, know whadd'a mean? 

On staying with her, go with the flow but plan not to. If at some point it feels right, then do it.

Good luck

[frinkahedron]

thanks, some good advice here.

I think she is betting on my prospects. She mentioned that she does want marriage and children in the future with someone and I'm open to that. I'm planning on buying a house next year and my job requires travel (she can come along). She knows all of this. Plus, she lives in a miserable city.
 
I will be cautious when I visit her, but I'm hoping that she is a diamond in the rough and that everything she is saying is true. I have known lots of attractive, younger American women who have dated older, weird dudes........lol   
So, anything is possible.

[Ooooops]

I will be cautious when I visit her...

BTW, if she was not Russian would you still run a background check on her?

I have checked out her phone number, apartment and work situation. It all checks out.

[frinkahedron]

Yes, I would.

I'm a former corporate investigator, so I'm always cautious about online dating and such. It used to be my job to catch scammers, lol

I'm not worried about if she is a legitimate girl............I do believe her. I'm just not sure of her intentions. Don't want to be used.

[Anotherkiwi]

Yes, I would.

I'm a former corporate investigator, so I'm always cautious about online dating and such. It used to be my job to catch scammers, lol

Love it!  Good luck, and    to RWD!

[Ooooops]

I'm just not sure of her intentions. Don't want to be used.

 

[Faux Pas]

Yes, I would.

I'm a former corporate investigator, so I'm always cautious about online dating and such. It used to be my job to catch scammers, lol

I'm not worried about if she is a legitimate girl............I do believe her. I'm just not sure of her intentions. Don't want to be used.

Few people want to be used. You don't know each other and she is unsure of your intentions, too. Quit with the paranoia or you'll sink that relationship boat at the dock. It's all a gamble and her being Ukrainian has nothing to do with it. She's a woman, you're a man. This is all boy meets girl stuff. There will be a few cultural differences and nuances but at the end of the day, she is a woman much like all the other women you have ever known. Treat her  like it and don't explain away anything you wouldn't with American women and you'll be fine.

[GQBlues]

...I think she is betting on my prospects. She mentioned that she does want marriage and children in the future with someone and I'm open to that. I'm planning on buying a house next year and my job requires travel (she can come along). She knows all of this.....

What a dandy...


You're unemployed today and by next year you're buying a house - hhhmmm.

If that isn't enough, you're also open to marriage and having a family with a gal you don't trust nor had given the benefit of the doubt to. - hhhmmm.


But first things first, I seriously won't be contemplating going steady with anyone I haven't yet met much less having a family with.

Lastly, you already checked her out although methinks she's ain't the sketchy one of the two. That's borderline stalking...


What do your friends tell you about these nuggets?

[Shadow]

You already made some crucial mistakes, as I noticed you have dropped the question if she is after your citizenship.
The former profession and knowledge should tell you enough without being more paranoid and inquisitve as you are by nature. Continuing to question her motives will drive her away.

[Doll]

One needs to have 3 years of residency if married and 5 years if divorced to get the citizenship.
She will get it regardless (without a lawyer).

[Doll]

As for why this girl agreed to meet you- it is easy. She is free and so she is dating. That's all.
 

[Lily]

I'm a former corporate investigator, so I'm always cautious about online dating and such. It used to be my job to catch scammers, lol

Then I wonder why you are that cautious    With your type of job, you should have all skills that are necessary to weed out the scammers!

[Vasilisa]

.

[Vasilisa]

She will get her citizenship with or without you, so don't worry about it.   But I would still ask myself why would this girl wanna have anything serious with older unemployed guy?..   Oh, and don't take advises from friends who don't know much about UCIS rules and regulations.   

+1000 

[Belvis]

.

Lol, have you decided to be polite or changed your  assessment about OP? 

[Vasilisa]

Lol, have you decided to be polite or changed your  assessment about OP? 

My post was similar to Ooops's one but tougher.

[LiveFromUkraine]

BTW, if she was not Russian would you still run a background check on her?

Are you kidding?  Russian women are notorious for having backgrounds.   

[LiveFromUkraine]

One needs to have 3 years of residency if married and 5 years if divorced to get the citizenship.
She will get it regardless (without a lawyer).

Makes you wonder why after 7 years she doesn't already have citizenship. 

[Shadow]

Makes you wonder why after 7 years she doesn't already have citizenship.

She is which date to pay for the application (pun intended).