RW..do you play matchmaker?

[Fishingguy]

you're here in America and meet your hubbies buddies. A few are single and you realize they would make a nice match for your friend Nadia back in the old country.

How many of you do that and if not why not?

[Lily]

Well, I am single myself and looking, therefore I'd reserve a great guy for myself 
 
Had I been not single, the answer would be perhaps 'less likely'. Who I am to know who is a good match for whom? Only the person herself or himself can tell.
 
On the other hand, honestly, how many single guys that you know is a great catch? A very rare breed, indeed. I have yet to meet someone who is single due to his own high requirements for women so he has difficulties to find a woman who is up to his high standards. Unfortunately, there are more of those who are single due to another reason, namely, no woman wants them
 
Another thing would be if a friend is actively looking and needs some self-marketing advice. Or if someone already has a bachelor in mind and is looking for a way to get introduced.

[BillyB]

how many single guys that you know is a great catch? A very rare breed, indeed. I have yet to meet someone who is single due to his own high requirements for women so he has difficulties to find a woman who is up to his high standards. Unfortunately, there are more of those who are single due to another reason, namely, no woman wants them
 

I've heard a few women say similar. Discouraging but actually good news for single men. Their competition is weak. They don't have to be the handsomest or best man in the world, they just need to be the better man and beat most of their competition to be an attractive mate to a lady if not many ladies. Improvements in hygiene, character, personality, communication skills, confidence, etc... will be beneficial to a guy in his pursuit of a lady.

[Ooooops]

How many of you do that and if not why not?

I wouldn't do because I wouldn't want to feel responsible if something goes wrong.   Arrange an accidental meeting - yes, why not (which is not possible if Nadia is back in the old country), but play active matchmaker - no way, Jose. 

[ML]

I once had a divorced male colleague come into my town for several days.

I thought about some gals he could go with to theatre, etc.

Sent him some info on 2 gals.  He asked me to set up double date with  one of them; which I did.

They hit it off pretty good and went on 3 dates while he was here.

This guy is really very congenial to be around in person, but . . .

he is terrible at distance communication (with me and everyone else.)

e.g. I send him a lengthy message telling about what is happening in  my life; and he replies with one sentence or only even a couple of words.

Anyway, the gal asked me a few times what was up with the guy; was he interested in her or not.

I tried to explain to her what a bad communicator (telephone, email, etc.) he was; but she, of course, didn't know how much I was sugar coating it, etc.

As I understood it from him, he was interested in her and planning another get together in a few months; but his failure to communicate on regular basis turned her off and she broke it off with him.

Long story to say that I felt uncomfortable . . . being in the middle.

[Muzh]

I've heard a few women say similar. Discouraging but actually good news for single men. Their competition is weak. They don't have to be the handsomest or best man in the world, they just need to be the better man and beat most of their competition to be an attractive mate to a lady if not many ladies. Improvements in hygiene, character, personality, communication skills, confidence, etc... will be beneficial to a guy in his pursuit of a lady.

All foreign to you. Heh


Anyway, I played matchmaker once because my wife's good friend asked me very seriously.

1) They don't talk to each other anymore.
2) She said nasty and untrue things about my wife when she would visit back home.
3) Accused me of 'snaking' her and then being hostile to her. She was definitely not my type, maybe that's why..
4) Don't know if they are still married.
5) Never again.

[ML]

Just remembered another 'matchmaker' situation.

A 22 year old FSU gal with excellent English put her mother on UkraineDate, and I made the first contact.  She had told her mother she was going to do it; but the 48 y.o. thought nothing would come of it and never got involved at all as the daughter did all the screening.

The 22 y.o. answered my first email without telling her mother (I never knew about this until we actually met).

Then, she got the mother involved for the 2nd and 3rd emails, and mother took over completely after that.  The mother also had excellent English.

I ended up meeting with the mother and we were on and off again for close to 3 years.

When I first called her on phone, another daughter (16 y.o. with excellent English) answered phone.  She told the mother she really liked my voice.

We were all 4 together on several occasions, and I used to joke that they were plotting to get rid of their mother since they both had taken actions to get their mother interested in me.

Each time we hit a rough patch and stopped communicating, the older daughter would contact me to see if anything she could do.  Said she felt responsible for us since she had put us together.

Unfortunately, the mother was a bit on the volatile side and quite a bit insecure also, and neither ever works for me.

The two daughters and I still email back and forth infrequently to talk about their schooling, possible jobs, boyfriends, etc.

[mies]

you're here in America and meet your hubbies buddies. A few are single and you realize they would make a nice match for your friend Nadia back in the old country.

How many of you do that and if not why not?

I do not do this. Several reasons.
1) none of my single male friends here in USA are interested in importing the wife/girlfriend  from Russia/Ukraine. They date locally with American women or foreign women already living in USA.
2) I do not have that many female friends back at home, and those who are back in Ukraine and single have comfortable life there and very good jobs. They won't be able to find comparable job in USA, they don't want to be housekeepers or get blue-collar jobs in the USA, and it's unlikely to meet the AM who will be giving his spouse several thousand $$ per month so that she has the same income as she had at home. Plus, these girls are picky - they are interested only in handsome, educated, good guys of similar age (few years older or few years younger), with similar interests. They will not be interested in dating the guy 10-15-20+ years their senior. American guys who meet these criteria are in high demand among American women too, and have no need to import wife from Russia/Ukraine.

3) Finally, introducing a friend to a friend is a great risk to lose both friends.

[SANDRO43]

I've had no experience of RW matchmakers, but plenty of local ones .

I've been a moderately happy bachelor for MANY years, and often my female friends would offer to introduce me to their 'available' friends. I would obviously ask for some specific information about their candidates, and they would reply "Oh, she's pretty" (I soon discovered their idea of prettiness was more like "not totally ugly"), "intelligent" (again, subject to considerable interpretation ), and other possibly endearing qualities such as "interesting" (which I eventually learned to interpret as the real deal killer, quaint/awkward/weird/nuts being more applicable IMO ).

My conclusion was that they pitied their friends' single status and were endeavouring to 'settle' them somehow regardless - their evaluation of a man's perspective was totally off.

After my experiences, I avoid women matchmakers like the plague .

[Anotherkiwi]

I've had no experience of RW matchmakers, but plenty of local ones .

I've been a moderately happy bachelor for MANY years, and often my female friends would offer to introduce me to their 'available' friends. I would obviously ask for some specific information about their candidates, and they would reply "Oh, she's pretty" (I soon discovered their idea of prettiness was more like "not totally ugly"), "intelligent" (again, subject to considerable interpretation ), and other possibly endearing qualities such as "interesting" (which I eventually learned to interpret as the real deal killer, quaint/awkward/weird/nuts being more applicable IMO ).

My conclusion was that they pitied their friends' single status and were endeavouring to 'settle' them somehow regardless - their evaluation of a man's perspective was totally off.

After my experiences, I avoid women matchmakers like the plague .

Not often for me, but occasionally - with the same results as you.  Even in the same country, from exactly the same background, women just "don't get it!"     Maybe I should distribute a list of the married women who really "rock my socks," so that the matchmakers can try to find similar (single) ones amongst their own circle.

[Chicagoguy]

I went as far as listing what I thought were reliable dating sites for my wife's 30 y.o. daughter. No further.

[ML]

Maybe I should distribute a list of the married women who really "rock my socks," . . .

OMG . . . a marriage wrecker . . . shame, shame.

On the other hand . . . anyone seen the new email circulating showing the replacement woman for Paula Deen?

I told my Ochka how the picture excited me quite a bit; she was not offended and stripped down, and asked me how she compared.

We then raced each other to the . . .

[BC]

On rare occasions have been asked by friends if I knew some FSU women that might be interested.  I respectfully decline.  Mixing money and/or women with friendship never does well.